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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 07-20-2016, 12:39 PM
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Re: It breaks my heart but I don't think I can take care of them anymore

My sister was in a similar situation. She had two sugar gliders. She loved them dearly, but when her OCD took over, the gliders suffered as well. A question you need to ask yourself: are your birds getting what they need?


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Old 07-20-2016, 02:55 PM
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Re: It breaks my heart but I don't think I can take care of them anymore

Have you considered something temporary? I have suffered from Major depressive disorder, and type 2 mixed bipolar disorder since I was about your age. It sucked, and to this day it still sucks, but I will say (and it took me a few years) that finally finding the right medicine combo made a world of difference for me. amphetamine salts, Welbutrin, and Venlafaxine turned out to be my "happy combo", and before I found it my wife kids and I had some really dark moments. However, for most of the past 2 years things have been really good. Sure, there are still down days, some of them are *really* down days, but most of them now aren't. Personally i'm not a fan of finches or doves, but giving up your Nanda, that's a big loss.

Anyway, I wanted to make an offer. Personally, I really don't think you should sell your Nanda, I think that's likely to be a negative catalyst. However, I would be willing to foster (him/her) for you. That way, whenever you can get yourself under control, he will be ready and waiting for you. We can even sign a non-sale agreement (so you legally know he/she is still yours.)

Anyway, I'll have a mod PM you my email in case you want to discuss it more, and if it looks like it may be something worth addressing farther I can give you my number.
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Old 07-20-2016, 03:16 PM
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Re: It breaks my heart but I don't think I can take care of them anymore

Quote: Originally Posted by SirEdwin89 View Post
Have you considered something temporary? I have suffered from Major depressive disorder, and type 2 mixed bipolar disorder since I was about your age. It sucked, and to this day it still sucks, but I will say (and it took me a few years) that finally finding the right medicine combo made a world of difference for me. amphetamine salts, Welbutrin, and Venlafaxine turned out to be my "happy combo", and before I found it my wife kids and I had some really dark moments. However, for most of the past 2 years things have been really good. Sure, there are still down days, some of them are *really* down days, but most of them now aren't. Personally i'm not a fan of finches or doves, but giving up your Nanda, that's a big loss.

Anyway, I wanted to make an offer. Personally, I really don't think you should sell your Nanda, I think that's likely to be a negative catalyst. However, I would be willing to foster (him/her) for you. That way, whenever you can get yourself under control, he will be ready and waiting for you. We can even sign a non-sale agreement (so you legally know he/she is still yours.)

Anyway, I'll have a mod PM you my email in case you want to discuss it more, and if it looks like it may be something worth addressing farther I can give you my number.


Such a kind thing of you to offer.


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Old 09-12-2016, 04:55 PM
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Re: It breaks my heart but I don't think I can take care of them anymore

I understand what you're going through. I currently have severe depression and anxiety and an eating disorder. I've been inpatient 3 times and I think without my birds I would be impatient again. They're my motivation to stay in outpatient treatment because who would let them out if I wasn't there? I have a sister and she could, but she doesn't have as much time as they need.
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Old 09-12-2016, 05:28 PM
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Re: It breaks my heart but I don't think I can take care of them anymore

Your post makes me so sad. I wish I could send you lots of joy and energy!

You have been given lots of good advice. I won't overwhelm you with more. Just remember what good you have done for your birds. They recognize this and they love you! You've made a big difference in their lives. You are so brave to consider what you are doing, and very loving.

I hope you can find a good temporary foster situation, so you can at least take back one of your birds when you have your strength again. Like birds, we are resilient creatures. Life can really suck, but somehow we're all still here.

I'm in PA and if you need someone to drive one or some of your birdies to a new place for you, I would be happy to help with neighboring states.

I hope the right solution comes to you, and that it brings you peace.
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Old 10-09-2016, 11:57 PM
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Re: It breaks my heart but I don't think I can take care of them anymore

very brave for posting this, if you think this is the right thing then good on you for focusing on yourself.
I am only 20 and am also going through the same thing. I am chopping and changing my mind on whether I need to re home my current Green Cheek Conure..
I have never "given up" on any of my pets, no matter what the situation.
But in order for me to get better, I know I need to focus on myself.
My GCC defiantly makes me laugh, get out of bed, talk/sing/whistle .. but then when I think about all the thoughts I have about worrying about what hes doing, thinking, eating etc ... I just know that I could be using that energy into bettering myself..
Think of it this way, when you are on a airplane, they always say put your oxygen mask on BEFORE you assist anyone else with theirs (including your own children)
This is all simply because it comes down to:
YOU CAN'T HELP ANYONE, BEFORE YOU HELP YOURSELF.
Hopefully you can find a temporary home for them., because YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS . Then you can visit them, or maybe even bring them back home when you feel as though your head space is better.
Good luck to you though, please let me know what you end up deciding to do.
Thank you for sharing this with us too. You are very brave and clearly want what is best for your babies.
Take Care
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Old 11-06-2016, 03:19 PM
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Re: It breaks my heart but I don't think I can take care of them anymore

Hi, we know how you feel and it must be really heartbreaking, but you are probably doing the best thing for both you and your pals.

We're a bird couple and also reside in New York and would gladly take in another bird if you feel yours do need to go to a new home.

We would also be glad to take one in even temporarily too as a favor to you if you find you don't wish to give any of your pals up permanently!
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Old 11-06-2016, 07:29 PM
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Re: It breaks my heart but I don't think I can take care of them anymore

I am very moved by this community's response here. I wish you the best.
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Old 11-06-2016, 07:56 PM
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Re: It breaks my heart but I don't think I can take care of them anymore

Just my story...
I didn't have the additional mental health issues, but maybe this will be of interest?
My story...
I got him in 1984. I was soon fearing getting evicted due to his noise, and my family at the time HATED him. I recall struggling to make a decision, sitting on the floor of my townhouse, watching him race and skip and frolic around on the tile floor, and then run to me GRINNING, so proud to be showing off for me. I would just stare at him and be amazed: imagine --- a real parrot in my house, and it loved me! I felt so guilty and inadequate and afraid at one point that I had him in his travel cage and was planning to take him back to the bird store. I opened the front door and couldn't go through. Closed it. Sat down. Took my little love out and promised him we would stay together.
I didn't really believe it, but I wanted to. Eventually, I did. I was in college back then, and at least I could spend a lot of time with him.
Then there were were years (about 25 of them) when 5-6 days a week, I was gone at 7:30-ish and back at 6-ish.
Some did and will consider me wrong and think I should have re-homed him. My husband at that time detested the bird. My current ol' man tolerates him with good humor. No, the bird wasn't responsible for the first marriage's ending!
Anyway, here is what I think made it work.
I moved and got new jobs maybe 5 times or so. BUT...
Every morning, he had at least ten minutes, and every evening, he had 20 or so. I have always kept him on a natural light schedule, in a separate room, so sometimes those times together were in the dark. During the day, he had a big window looking out on something interesting, a television on one of his favorite channels (Music channels, CNN - he loves talking heads), a biggg cage, lots of fun foods, and a few toys that I changed out regularly).
He KNEW he could count on those two crummy sessions a day. Somehow we both made it.
I'm now retired and times are good again. Side-note... when I first started being able to spend much more time, he was strangely aggressive and jumpy. Eventually we settled down.
I don't know if I am doing a service or a dis-service in even suggesting you keep your bird. I do know I can't imagine life without mine at this point.
Good luck to you in making a decision. And welcome to the Forum... you'll get lots of empathy and advice here.
I selfishly/foolishly(?) hope you can keep your little loves.
BESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST of luck to you. We're with you no matter what.
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 11-28-2017, 07:44 AM
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Re: It breaks my heart but I don't think I can take care of them anymore

I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. Its never easy but at least you realize that you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone. I can help with taking in the conure. I am located in Brooklyn.
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