Rehoming? my lesser blackwing Jardine

tavele

New member
Aug 22, 2020
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Not 100%, but thinking of rehoming my parrot. She is wonderful, sweet, talks whistles and sings, about 11 years old now, prefers women, will step up to almost anyone, and is on a pellet and fresh diet. I have had her for a long time now, but the problem is with my husband. They do not get along for whatever reason, and she has drawn blood on him. He will not allow her cage out of the laundry room, and I worry about her lack of social life. She has been stuck in there for 2 years now, and no plucking or anything has started, but she is less social with me when I spend time with her than she used to be, and I think this will just get worse.
Don't tell me to loose the husband...lol Already considered that.... I got a Manzanita tree for her to climb on, and was putting it on my kitchen island when I'm in there. That resulted in my husband taking it out to the shed! I don't know why they don't get along, but my husband is not willing to try or let her out, and this has already caused fights. So, rehome? Sell? I would hate to give her away, and could use the money, but still, she is my baby. Advice? I am in northern Nevada.
 

Laurasea

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Aug 2, 2018
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Awww, such a sad place to be.
Another reason parrots are tough pets, there is often a significant other division.......

Perhaps another reason for me to stay happily single.......
 

LaManuka

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Hello there tavele, and welcome to the Forums, although I wish it was under happier circumstances for you.

There’s very few things that make one more heartsick than the thought of having to rehome a much loved bird. Perhaps you could discuss the situation with your bird's vet? Some clinics offer or can recommend behavioural/training classes which may assist you in understanding why your bird is doing what she’s doing and what can be done to better manage the situation. Sometimes it's as much about training the humans as it is about training the bird!

There’s a wealth of knowledge and insight which will no doubt come your way from the members here. The following link may also help to give you some further perspectives...

http://www.parrotforums.com/adoptio...-bird-please-read-before-making-decision.html

I hope you all get some help soon and thank you for reaching out. The prospect of rehoming is always a difficult and emotionally fraught situation and I wish you all the very best.
 

fiddlejen

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Mar 28, 2019
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Sunny the Sun Conure (sept '18, gotcha 3/'19). Mr Jefferson Budgie & Mrs Calliope Budgie (albino) (nov'18 & jan'19). Summer 2021 Baby Budgies: Riker (Green); Patchouli, Keye, & Tiny (blue greywings).
Not 100%, but thinking of rehoming my parrot. She is wonderful, sweet, talks whistles and sings, about 11 years old now, prefers women, will step up to almost anyone, and is on a pellet and fresh diet. I have had her for a long time now, but the problem is with my husband. They do not get along for whatever reason, and she has drawn blood on him. He will not allow her cage out of the laundry room, and I worry about her lack of social life. She has been stuck in there for 2 years now, and no plucking or anything has started, but she is less social with me when I spend time with her than she used to be, and I think this will just get worse.
Don't tell me to loose the husband...lol Already considered that.... I got a Manzanita tree for her to climb on, and was putting it on my kitchen island when I'm in there. That resulted in my husband taking it out to the shed! I don't know why they don't get along, but my husband is not willing to try or let her out, and this has already caused fights. So, rehome? Sell? I would hate to give her away, and could use the money, but still, she is my baby. Advice? I am in northern Nevada.

This is a very sad situation. Relegated to the laundry room and becoming less social. BUT at least you are there to care for her and love her. IF you decide to go the route of re-homing, check with vets (as noted above) or other sources to help you find someone who will indeed truly provide a Better situation.

So rehoming the husband instead is not an option. Hm.

Probably also not willing to consider something like a short course of couples therapy or etc? But if he were willing, maybe you could think about trying some sort of time-limited process with only the one specific goal, to work out some sort of compromise that could allow a Better life for the bird. ((Would Not have to be with a "therapist," but some sort of advisor / counselor. Do you follow a religion? If so perhaps a pastor / other type religious leader could help with such talks?))
 
OP
tavele

tavele

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Aug 22, 2020
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I don't really believe the problem lies with my bird so much as with my husband. He has never liked her, only tolerated for the first couple of years I had her. Thanks for the good advice.
 

Ceri

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Aug 6, 2020
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Jade & Jasper - Meyers - Adopted from Rescue - estimated age is 5 or 6.
I don't really believe the problem lies with my bird so much as with my husband. He has never liked her, only tolerated for the first couple of years I had her. Thanks for the good advice.

I am so sorry to hear about this. You are in a very compromising position and your husband is being stubborn and borderline cruel. Your bird is just that...a bird. She doesn't deserve being taken from her human because he "tolerates" her. Your bird doesn't like him because he doesn't like her. How insensitive. Some men are such babies sometimes. :(

If you feel your girl should go to a new home to become the center of someone else's world, then that's your choice. Do you have a friend willing to take her in so that you can still get updates on how she's doing or pop by for visits once in a while?
 

1oldparroter

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Nov 4, 2019
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I am 71, married and fairly private. I have PM privileges but prefer the phone. Printed messages, are so limited. jh
If we can find a way to get it here, I will take it. I have vowed to forget preference and do Gods' choice. The bird and I will work out the details. You would get 1st notification and choice, in the event of my demise. Should we talk? jh
 

babynemo19

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Oct 28, 2020
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I'm so sorry you are going through this, sometimes I wish it was easier to communicate to our birds that it is okay that we have signicant others.

If you do make the desicion to re-home your baby, I would be willing to travel if you tell me more about her. I'm located in Western New York. I hope you work things out.

Gabby.
 

Jottlebot

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Aug 29, 2012
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Orange-winged Amazon - RIP Charlie,
Spock - Common Mynah,
McCoy - Alexandrine
My heart aches for your situation. I'm also thinking about rehoming a bird as I don't think I'm offering the best life. Mine isn't a parrot and there aren't the relationship complications, but the heartache of the decision is very real for me now.

Does your husband know what you are thinking about? I wonder whether it might make him realise how serious the situation is and if he knows how much you love your bird it might make him re-think his response?

If not though, then I have found that getting as involved as possible in the potential new home is reassuring - basically think nightmare interview! Also, however, you have to accept that when you let her go you can't ever really control what happens to her next. So you have to be satisfied you have done the right thing and got enough information to assure you you've found the right home.

I have said I will ask for an amount of money, I've read advice that that puts off people who might just get a bird and sell it. I may not actually end up asking for money in the end though.
 

KatRaft

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Nov 4, 2020
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Oliver Jardines
Charlie and Rosa YNA
Carlos B&G Macaw
Gookle Bare-eyed Cockatoo RIP
Rocky TAG RIP
Pepper Pearl Cockatiel RIP
Charm Lutino Cockatiel RIP
So sorry to hear about your situation. My Jardines parrot came from a very similar situation. A lady and her husband were raising cockatiels, then the wife decided to get the Jardines. I guess the husband disliked the noise level of the Jardines and the bird bit the husband. They did not have a good relationship so he wasn't let out of his cage much. He was only a year old when I got him. Oliver has always a women's bird but now he does tolerate my husband. My husband is a bird person and has worked hard on having a kind, calm and respectful relationship with Oliver. It didn't take long for them to develope a good relationship. We've had him for going on 16 years now. He still prefers women and will even let women he doesn't know pet him. Men he doesn't know is another story but he will step up for my husband and cooperate, just no scritches.
I know rehoming is a hard decision, one we are having to make with our Macaw. I'm here if you want to talk and I'm located in Reno, NV if you need some help.
 

noodles123

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Jul 11, 2018
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Umbrella Cockatoo- 15? years old..I think?
Does your husband understand his role in all of this? I mean, he sounds like he's being super selfish and childish, given the fact that this involves a living being with the intelligence of young child. Not to mention, the fact that his behavior is forcing you to make a serious choice that you don't want to make.


Have you guys talked about this?

What does he say?
 

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