Need advice........sorry for the long post.

I would really appreciate some input from long-time parrot owners.

I have been owned by Jumanji, my BFA, for 11 years. I hand fed him when he was a baby. I got him from a reputable store near Dallas - the place is now gone. He is a male - DNA sexed.

PROBLEM: Since I got married the relationship that I had with Jumanji has drastically changed. He went from an active, curiuos, friendly bird who wanted to be with me to a bird who wants nothing to do with me except to inflict horrible bites. This has gone on for 7 years. I can't handle him other than touching his toes through the cage bars a couple of times a day while being hyper-vigilent because he will eventually try to grab me and pull me close to bite. Nail trimming is done by distracting him by whistling like crazy and doing one or two nails a day. I can't get him to step up even on a dowel. He either moves away from me or lunges at me inside his cage.

QUESTION: Should I consider rehoming him. By rehoming I do not mean listing on CL and selling him. This is an agonizing thing for me to think about. However, I am concerned about his qualitty of life. If he is unhappy here I am willing to let him go to someone that he is happy with. IF I rehomed him it would have to be just the right circumstance. I am not considing rehoming because of finances, because he bites me, because I am moving, because of noise, mess, or because I am not interested in him anymore. I just want what is best for him. My husband and I have discussed over the years that maybe he would be happier with someone else and I always said if we met someone that Jumanji "clicked" with I would give him to them. Unfortunately, I am the only "parrot person" in our circle. So here I am, on the forum, among "parrot people" to get your opinions.

BACKGROUND: Jumanji would eagerly step up onto my hand or a dowel, loved being showered, talked and sang a lot, just an occasional bite. He seemed interested in what I was doing. He played with toys a lot. He called to me when I left the room. I could easily put him in his carrier and take him to the avian vet. He traveled with me to visit family and friends.

CURRENT: None of the above. Showers are accomplished by me taking his cage outside and using the mister on the hose - he loves if but only if I am not trying to touch him. Will not make a sound when I am in the room. WANTS to bite me. Does not play with toys like a used to - he does chew on them just seems less enthusiastic - like he is bored.

I have tried so many things to repair this relationship. I am happy to share them with anyone who asks. This post is so long already so I will wait and tell more if I am asked.

I've tried to answer this several times, but I find I dont know how to answer. After 7 years can you remember what changed in your birds world, (besides the husband) to make him like this. Did he spend more time out of his cage b4, did you move his cage, leave him alone more often? Finding out what went wrong would help. Does you husband interact w/him at all? My amazon spends most of every day out of his cage & he's fully flighted. I think it makes him a happier bird. I still have problems w/me paying attention to my husband or our dog (he doesnt like it), he will bite or flog occasionally. He has a great relationship w/my husband, he just doesn't want to share me. There are alot of videos on youtube teaching step up training, I think you can start there. Are you afraid of him now?

Even w/the info you gave us, we dont know how your bird spends his days. Does he have toys?

I dont have the multiple bird experience to be alot of help, I just know how we handle merlins problems. I think you need to start all over w/him. Sit by his cage w/treats & see if he will come out for you. Make sure (after you get him to step up) that he spends time away from his cage w/you. Shower, read, watch tv w/him close by. Talk to him. Be very patient, he didnt get this way overnite, & a repair to our relationship w/him wont be fixed overnite either. Good luck.

What an incredibly sad story....I am so sorry to hear this..especially since you had him for so long.
You said you and your husband have discussed it over the years...so this has been an on going problem for some time....
I really think that if you are willing to put the time into it then there must be a way to rebuild the relationship....
Lets see,,,,,,how much time did you spend with him before you got married? How much out of cage time did he get before you got married...how many toys... treats etc..I am trying to get a picture of just how much things have changed.....was a drastic change all at once or did it happen over time.
I would really hate to see you have to rehome him. Do you have the time to invest in him to get him back to what he once was? Because it would take time but I believe it could be done.
Please keep us posted and ask any other questions that you think may help you out..I have my fingers crossed for you and this sweet bird. Yes, I say sweet because I think that sweet bird is still there somewhere. LOL

I'm not an experienced parrot owner by any means and I've only seen pics of BFA. Have you considered getting Jumanji a partner? He may bond with another bird. If he did bond with a partner, at least his happiness would probably improve. A risky solution for sure, but it sounds like you just want him to be happy and if it worked, I think he would be.

Thank you all for your replies. I will try to answer the questions and provide more info.

Change in behavior occurred in 2002 when I got married - specifically when I moved him with me to my husband's home. Literally changed overnight. I assumed it was the stress of being in a different home but that was 2002. So, it has actually been over 8 years with no progress.

He spends less time out of the cage now because he will not step up on me or a dowel and will only come out if he chooses and if I come near he goes back into his cage.

I actually spend more time with him now as I don't work the hours I did when I was single. He will not allow me to handle him at all. I have started over with him many times, had consultations with an avian behaviorist from Kookaburra Bird Shop in Dallas, read all kinds of books, watched DVD's, tried clicker training, etc. My husband is kind to him but is not a bird person and not likely to be - he travels extensively for work too.

His cage is large 3'x4'x6' with both destructible toys and acrylic toys plus foraging toys. He eats veggies, fruit and pellets. He is in perfect feather. He does not scream. He used to talk and sing up a storm but along with the aggression toward me came silence whenever I am in the house. If he hears my husband upstairs in the office he will babble a bit and say a few things.

I would only consider rehoming if the right person came along and Jumanji clicked with them. I love him and only want him to have the best and most fulfilling life possible. If someone else could provide that I would let him go. Otherwise I will continue to provide him the same care I always have.

He very upset with you, you choose your husband over him, and made him adjust to your new living quarters, you wernt just mom, but his mate. after you got married and moved in with your hubby, it was kinda the break up call. and for show he didn take it very well its not your fault, you can deal with this, you can overcome this. iv delt with plenty of amazon speices to know that the reason there re homed is because there aggression took a turn for the worst. 99% of the time relationship changes.

what you have to do is provide as much attention you can as well begin trusting him.
you need to show that you still love him the same and the new change has nothing to due with you and him. any activitys you used to preform, attempt doing them again. try to bring some older thoughts to mind so he can remember you love him. amazons tend to be picky birds, strongly bonding to one member in the family and usally want nothing to due with anyone else AT ALL. they want you all to there selfs lol.

thios probably sounds funny but id stop show affection to your husband around him. anytime your by him, praise him. make him feel like the boss. but not too much, dont want him over powering you haha.

what you have to do is provide as much attention you can as well begin trusting him.
you need to show that you still love him the same and the new change has nothing to due with you and him. any activitys you used to preform, attempt doing them again. try to bring some older thoughts to mind so he can remember you love him. amazons tend to be picky birds, strongly bonding to one member in the family and usally want nothing to due with anyone else AT ALL. they want you all to there selfs lol.

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From what I got from her posts, she has tried to rebuild, and it hasn't been working. 7 years is a long time.

I am sorry that this has happened. I can tell you love your blue front very much. You can try to work on this somemore or you can try to find him a new home. I think keeping yourself open to both options wouldn't be a bad idea, because you never know. Someone might come along, and he might fall in love. Or maybe he is just happy with his new self. You never really know.

Someone on another forum made an interesting observation. Since I hand fed Jumanji (which I now regret) he views me as a parent. My moving to the new home and getting married may have triggered him to "find a mate". Since I am viewed as a parent my husband is the only suitable mate. Makes some sense to me. I have been working all these years to gain his trust. I got married and this started in 2002 - so it is almost 9 years (don't know where I got 7). He does not seem afraid of me - more like he really does not want me near him - except to wheel his cage outside so that he can shower and the occasional few second toe touch. I would never leave him at a shelter or sanctuary - I can continue like this always. I don't have to rehome him and I am thankful I am not in a situation where that was the case. I am just afraid that his life his not fulfilling at all. If the right person came along either through the forums or my personal life, yes, I would give him up so that he could have a more active and fun life. Thanks for all of the comments. I really do appreciate it.

From past experience with Kookaburra, I don't have much faith in them. I have been told by others that Amazons have been known to "divorce" their original human which makes sense about the parent/child observation. I don't know that hand-feeding really was the issue as I've know Amazon families who had this happen and got the bird fully weaned.

There is a vet in the Mid-Cities who has a very good reputation and it may be worthwile to contact him. I'm going to need to dig some stuff out and find his name and contact info.

How far is Austin from Fort Worth? I have a friend down there, she is WONDERFUL with parrots, and babysat my amazon for a few months when I was trying to find a new place to live a long time ago. My zon loved her a great deal. Also she is a horrible singer, and my zon sings "You are my sunshine" in her voice still. It is pretty funny.

Anyway, its just a thought.

HRH Di said:

There is a vet in the Mid-Cities who has a very good reputation and it may be worthwile to contact him. I'm going to need to dig some stuff out and find his name and contact info.

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There's something noone has guessed, could they be a physical problem thats causing problems. I know 7 years is along time but they do hide problems very well.

& Abzeez has a good point, as many people who live in TX, there is bound to be someone who could watch your interaction w/your guy & maybe pin point the problem. Its difficult when you can't see the whole picture. At the very least, give you contact w/the parrot community & find a good forevery home.

I'm almost certain it's either him moving on or the fact you got married.

But I do know for sure that not just amazons but most velcrow species will attempt to find a mate or best friend. (same sex).
That's another important reason to why I belive unweaned parrot shouldnt be promoted, sold or purchased. That's just one of many reasons. But I missed the part on you hand reared him. Makes much sence now. Conures are known for this too.
Like abzeez said. He migh just enjoy his new life. Perhaps concider getting him a mate. That might acually help your bond with him. He'll be sexually attracted to her and then as long as the hen enjoys your company she can teach good habits and trusting Behaviour. Iv notices pairs tend to mimic eachother in everyway.
Just another opinion