How to get 42 yr old bird to accept wife?

So glad to find these forums.

Here is the situation. I have a 42 year old yellow double front Amazon that my father raised from a baby. She (assuming female) thinks she is my mother or something since she saw me as a baby and is SUPER protective of me. She was like a baby monitor and watched over me. She would fly and attack somebody on their neck if they made threatening moves towards me. Yes, she was an attack/guard parrot.

She was raised eating at the dinner table with us when I was a child. Yes, she eats EVERYTHING we do and gets her way or makes you suffer.

To introduce you, here is [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdCcf-rmC4Q"]Jojo eating chicken.[/ame]

Jojo insists on staying with me instead of my father. But she never forgets him. He has was away for 4 years and she still remembers him and allows him to handle her. My mother was able to bond with her and handle her when my father married. I have no trouble handling her, she will never bite me. We have a weird bond where I can understand her noises and body language.

The problem is my wife of nearly 14 years cannot handle her. Jojo gets mad at her, tries to bite, very territorial. She does not give a warning pinch, she will bite her hard. She will climb down to the bottom of her cage and let my wife feed her, but then raises her crown feathers and spreads her wings making her "battle call" as I refer to it while she eats. She has a VERY specific "battle call" when she is aggressive, it is not random noises.

When she is aggressive, I can easily pick her up and calm her down. Not even my father can do that.

My wife has been super nice to Jojo trying to tame her. Jojo has adopted other people that used to "baby sit" her but will not adopt my wife. It used to be just talking, feeding, and preening was enough to make friends with Jojo.

I think Jojo is just picking up my wife's fear after being bitten a few times and that's why she is always aggressive. But Jojo will allow her to preen her head feathers.

Is this a lost cause? Because my wife and daughter want to bond with her. They see how loving Jojo and Amazons can be. The ONLY time Jojo is nice to them is when they preen her head feathers.

This bird is like a family member to me, not a pet.

Maybe I am one of the few that can read and understand them. I've seen other Amazon pros pick up Jojo in battle mode and calm her down as well. I can read another Amazon and know how they will react. I know when they are going to give me the "warning pinch" when trying to handle a stranger parrot in their cage.

I honestly believe Amazons are loud, moody, stubborn. But they are also very emotional and loving, wanting to be part of the "flock."

I am starting to think the only way is for my wife to handle a young Amazon and get used to them to understand Jojo. I don't know. Handling Amazons comes natural to me, they do not intimidate me.

Thank your for your time and advice.

Hi and welcome to the forum! Hope you have a wonderful time here!

It really seems that Jojo is over bonded with you, and it's actually a very big problem, and it's pretty common in larger parrots. Depends on how over bonded Jojo are, there are different ways to solve this problem.

Take Jojo away from her cage - The first thing you can do is to take Jojo away from her cage, which is her territory. Parrots are more aggressive when people are in their territory, where they will feel very safe. Take her to a chair, stand, table, couch, etc. but make sure that Jojo can't see her cage. Then try handling her, giving her treats, head rubs, etc.

Let your wife to be Jojo's caretaker - Decrease your time with Jojo, and slowly increase the time your wife spends with her. Let your wife give Jojo her dinner, clean the cage, training, and a lot more. You can start off putting Jojo in her cage, and just let your wife just sit beside the cage. But make sure to do this slowly so Jojo don't freak out.

There are lots more, but this two usually works the best. And make sure that when your wife is with Jojo, she can't see you.

Your wife needs to learn to understand Jojo's body language. Things like pinning eyes, growing, feathers, opening beak, lower body, etc.

Good luck

Allow your wife to start trick training Jojo. Touch training is a great place to start once your bird will tolerate her being within arms reach. This involves having your bird touch the end of a stick(chop stick wooden skewer) for a reward. Allow your wife to do all the training so you bird associates her with this fun activity. If your bird tries to bite her when she gives him a treat have her put the treat in a little bowl she can hold.

Wish i had more time, i'll respond more, later. You and i have very similar situations, My pet Yellow Nape has been with me for 42 yrs and 2 wives, 3 kids and i don't know how many girl friends, LOL.

How funny, I too have a surrogate DYH "mom". Lucy took to me the day my parents brought me home from the hospital, though she's never much cared for anyone else. She also used to dive bomb and attach the heads and necks of anyone who happened to be in my room while she was out. My parents won't part with her, but I "talk" to her on the phone all the time and she still glues herself to me every time I visit. Since we don't have her in our care, she doesn't interact with my hubby except when we visit, but she had some very extreme jealousy issues with him when I still lived at home and he first started coming around. She didn't like it one bit that I was being affectionate towards him. After 8 years of him being with me whenever she sees me, she has warmed up to him more (she will sit on his leg and not attack his head anymore). His approach with her was very authoritative, he showed no fear of her lunging and didn't overreact when she dive-bombed him. I think that was probably the number one reason she's remotely friendly towards him now, he didn't take her "bullying" him around. That, and he bribed her with lots of peanuts :09:. Parrots are very good at reading emotion (especially fear) and they're natural social structure has a hierarchy. Your wife is likely showing fear and not acting as a higher up in the flock while interacting with your bird. A bird is going to read her like a book, and take full advantage of her timidness. Really, she just needs to get a little tougher with her and stop taking her possessive behavior. Your bird will probably never love your wife, but if they live under the same roof, she has to at least tolerate your wife. I would suggest your wife sucks it up and takes a few bites to train the bird she is not fearful and biting is not an effective form of communication with her, as well as to take over some of her favorite activities to "bribe" her a bit (like feeding, bathing, one on one playtime ect...). Best of luck, I know how possessive momma biers can be

Jojo is a Typical DYH, they have the more outgoing personality and are a little more "opinionated" than the average zon. Still all and all you have a well socialized zon and those are the greatest pets. She problably acts the way she does to your wife because she can. Their going to push the boundaries to make sure the "biggest" bird is leading the flock. Being bonded to you means she's part of the alpha pair, (your the big bird, she's your mate).If you were gone for a week or two ,she wouldn't be so secure and crave interaction from others. Your wife needs to play "hard to get" when your not around. No need for her to get into a contest between you two but when your not around, have her make more decisions concerning what the bird wants and gets. have her turn her back on him and make him beg for her attention, treats, pets, etc. Don't be too easy and available. When he wants pets from her , don't give him but a few seconds worth and stop. Have her call the shots and set the limits instead of the bird making the decisions about how the interactions will go. They all want to be part of the flock, but only respect confident outgoing leaders. I understand that she afraid of him but she needs to find ways to take over control of the situation. Amazons can have lots of friends other than their "mate" but if it's someone they dominate , then they have little chance of being cuddly. Most zons are quick to decide if they like or dislike something and rarely change their minds. It will take some work but the best chance is for her not to be intimidated and more standoffness. When he ask for head stratches, only stratch for a few seconds, make him begfor more from her. Like most of us, they only want what they can't have. That's the quickest way to their heart. ( that and learning how to preen)

It's great you can enjoy such a long history with your amazon. I took mine from a wild nest when i was 14 yrs old. She has been the rock in my life like no other. Your a lucky fellow. I know what your talking about when you say you can read their every sound and posture, not only that but i can "play" mine like a piano. Truth be known, i'm sure we both can read each other like a book, and have our own language.

When my grandfather died, I inherited his 40 something African Grey, who had known me since I was a child. And I had similar issues with him. Remember, it's an old bird. And used to certain people, and not interested in much change, at this stage of it's life. Not that it cannot accept change. But, like an old man or woman, it will resist. In addition to what others have said, and Henpecked is the Amazon go-to-guy here, I'd suggest that you physically hand Jo-Jo to your wife. Plus, your wife has got to get past her fear. Or Jo-Jo will know, and always bully her. Include your wife in your interaction with Jo-Jo. So Jo-Jo sees her as an important part of your flock. This can & will work out, but takes a lot of time, patience, persistence & consistency.

henpecked said:

It's great you can enjoy such a long history with your amazon. I took mine from a wild nest when i was 14 yrs old. She has been the rock in my life like no other. Your a lucky fellow. I know what your talking about when you say you can read their every sound and posture, not only that but i can "play" mine like a piano. Truth be known, i'm sure we both can read each other like a book, and have our own language.

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That is EXACT same way I feel with my DYH Ziggy.

She and I have a very "sister" like relationship. Sometimes she is a bit aggressive with me and wants nothing to do with me, but she can also be my best friend.

Ziggy and I have had our ups and downs. When I was little I didn't really understand the right way to play with a bird. All I wanted to do was pet and play with Ziggy, but I wanted to do it in the same way that I would with my friends dogs or cats. So she really did not like me for a while.

But I was able to change my behavior with her, and gradually she began to trust me again and make me a less of a chew toy. So their opinions CAN change!

I will say though that even when she wasn't my biggest fan, if I was ever upset she would just sit quietly with me, let me scratch and pet her, and be the sweetest thing until I ok. Even now if anything goes wrong, all I want is my Ziggy bird to make it better.

ziggybird said:

Even now if anything goes wrong, all I want is my Ziggy bird to make it better.

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That is so cool.

One more thing - I am so encouraged by the stories of grandchildren who inherit - and love - their grandparents' aged parrots. I know several of my grandchildren are more attracted to the birds than are their parents - and I hope they, too, will continue to adore the birds who outlive me and need the younger members of their human flock.

my parents sometimes joke that I am just waiting for them to become senile so i can have the birds! lol

I love the advice from other owners (or should I say pets of the Zons). I am going to make a perching location for Jojo that she can use for when I am at work and try to get my wife and Jojo on "dinner dates" and other away from her cage activities and see where this leads.

This does make sense now why babysitters have no problems. Jojo is away from her cage and has to "kiss up" to her babysitters away from us. My wife has not had this chance. Jojo needs to be separated from her cage when I am at work.