Lunging

I posted on here about a month ago because my DYH stared lunging at me occasionally while she was in her cage and i wanted to make sure i was handling it the right way, when she does this i stay in front of the cage and talk to her until she stops, i was racking my brain trying to figure out what in the world i was doing, i got a lot of great advice and did a lot of reading but nothing really seemed to fit until the other day...IT'S ALL MY HUSBANDS FAULT LOL. She only does this when he has been near her or talks to her, or has just left the room and had been talking to her. He is not hands on with her at all, and if he's not around we're great, she doesn't like to be touched other than to step up, but she does sometimes gently bite my finger and she allows me to rub her beak while she does it, and she also loves to preen my hair, i will sometimes leave her cage door open if she doesn't want to step up for me and she will eventually climb off her cage and try to climb up my leg and then she very willingly steps up for me, i do know that she was previously owned by a man, but i guess its just kinda weird that she seems to be building so much trust with me, but it seems the more she trusts me the more she lunges when he's around, she has only been doing it for a little over a month...i would be grateful for any advice

She views you as her mate and your hubby is an unwanted intruder. She might even pick up on the closeness you and hubby have and views that as a threat. I'd be careful handling her when hubby is around. You need to make hubby very aware of what is occuring. Conversely if hubby wants to make friends with her, you need to be way out of the picture. After she makes friends with you another friend is possible, but it will take time and effort to get her socialized. The more people and situations she is exposed too the easier this process will be. Limited relationships tend to make those relationships more "polarized'. her first priority is a mate/partner, afterwards she will come to realize she can also have "friends" who don't threaten that relationship/bond.

i will make sure i let him know, i thought she like him more because she is so willing to talk, dance for him, i am really the only person who handles her, but she comes to work with me and all of our customers talk to her, i just don't allow them to get too close, she seems to love all the attention and is quite the performer lol, i left theh cage open earlier and my husband was sitting at my desk she thought about trying to climb up his leg for a minute and then changed her mind and went right back to her cage, do you think that i should make my hubby start to give her food and change her water while i'm out of the room, he already gives her treats although to be honest she would probably take a treat from anyone lol

DYH
Well they are interesting aren't they LOL

Yes he will lunge at you and even bite to try and get you to remove such intruder. It took Bosley a few months to figure out that this wasn't going to work, now he tries to attach hubby not me.
My amazon is nice to hubby sometimes, sits on his lap, takes treats, eats dinner with him but when he wants him gone all bets are off, its been over a year and its still this way. We are very careful and watch moods carefully.

she is very interesting, i am going to have fun explaining this to my hubby, he has been rubbing it in....time to burst the bubble

just a random thought and funny, i have a customer who has macaws and he got sweet pea out of her cage one day, she seemed fine with it until he sat down and she saw me, she climbed down and walked across the floor to me, when she got close to me she turned around and yelled at him and it sounded like she gave him a good cussing (in bird talk of course) thankfully i have only heard her say one cuss word ever and that was because my hubby accidentally bumped her carrier and she yelled a&* hole, so i guess if i would have thought about it a little more i would have figured this out lol

autum_howard said:

just a random thought and funny, i have a customer who has macaws and he got sweet pea out of her cage one day, she seemed fine with it until he sat down and she saw me, she climbed down and walked across the floor to me, when she got close to me she turned around and yelled at him and it sounded like she gave him a good cussing (in bird talk of course) thankfully i have only heard her say one cuss word ever and that was because my hubby accidentally bumped her carrier and she yelled a&* hole, so i guess if i would have thought about it a little more i would have figured this out lol

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That is funny!!!
Yep sounds like you are the chosen one. Just keep socializing her as much as possible. I adopted a 36 year old DYH last year and socializing is not his strong suit, I keep trying but he lunges at most everyone besides me with the exception of my niece and a friends daughter. I guess he likes girls with long dark hair. Funny he used to be a mans bird.

I will continue to work on the socializing, she really does seem to love attention from everyone and makes quite a scene if she is not the star of the room, and she especially loves kids, my kids will sit next to her and talk and giggle with her forever and she eats it up

Our BFA does that with my wife. I've noticed that when it is just her (BFA) and I together, she is the most loving bird I've ever owned. BUT... Add my wife into the picture and she will redirect her biting to me. She gets all antsy. I have to walk away with her. Get her to calm down, then I can bring her around my wife again and she is ok. If my wife is alone with her she will still lunge at the cage. She has been working with her by feeding her and changing her water. Perhaps your husband could try that. Since my wife started doing that his aggression has subdued slightly.

I am gonna have my hubby change her food and water when i'm not around, and maybe that will help, but she isn't really mean to him at all, they dance and sing together all the time, this behavior is all new

Well, maybe i have it backwards. maybe the hubby is the "favorite" one and you're the third wheel.

I am beginning to think she can't decide lol, it would make sense both ways, she won't step up for him at all, but seems to have fun with him, if i leave the cage door open for her she always comes to me, never him, she does talk to me and sing and dance with me, but it is no where near what she does for my husband

i have been staying away when my hubby is playing with her and vice versa, no more lunging

You're the favorite person. He's the playmate.

And how do zons play? They bite things! Hubby ramps this bird up into amazon overload, and the sight of him is probably enough to excite the bird enough to give you an "I want to play" pinch...

that makes a lot of sense and my hubby seems to do the same thing with our human children lol, hype them up and then leave them with mama....
Do you think that this may cause a major problem in the future? I feel like we are doing so well, and i really hope she will one day trust and love us enough that i can actually give her scritches, i don't expect her to be a cuddle bunny, just hope that we can continue to improve our relationship, and i don't want to take 1 step forwards and 2 steps back if it can be avoided and thank ya'll for all the help and advice

Displaced aggression is the most commonly used term for this behavior. I have seen this in my own companion.

autum_howard said:

that makes a lot of sense and my hubby seems to do the same thing with our human children lol, hype them up and then leave them with mama....

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It's a GUY THING... !!! It's part of our charm... Anybody wanna pull my finger?!

Birdman666 said:

It's a GUY THING... !!! It's part of our charm... Anybody wanna pull my finger?!

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Men!!! SUCH kids!!!

That's why we get the kids all hyped up playing with them... WE ARE ONE...

Okay, did my dad thing. Your turn honey...

Time to be the bird Dad! Okay honey, he's all yours now... I'd watch your fingers, he's a bit overstimulated!!!

My wife and I are experiencing the exact same thing. If I am home alone with Wanda, she is loving and cuddly. As soon as my wife enters the room, I get redirection bites. My wife started feeding him by hand through the cage and feeding her in the morning. She talks to her and comforts her. She is not as aggressive toward her. But definitely not fond either. I also believe she is in her mating season. She is showing all of the signs. May be something to look at as well.