Help me please!!!!!! My boy hates me!!!!

Hi, please can someone help me, I found this sight yesterday and was sooo excited to find other parrot enthusiasts to talk to. My parrot hates me...its all my fault and after reading the cries for help with other parrot owners I realised that something like this also happens to other people and that there are kind people who can help me.

Where to start...I got my Brown Headed Parrot from a petshop in January this year and he was 6 months old. The lady said he bit and was wild but would tame easily. He did get tame after spending alot of time with him. He was still a nervous bird and I couldnt make sudden movements at all. He has never been locked in his cage and has had an area to move around in to play and explore. He has everythin he could ever want - toys that I change often, climbing branches that I dried and lots of love. He started saying words but never when I was in the same room...I so badly would like him to talk back to me.

He became ratty about a month ago and I was told that it was spring and they tend to be off at this time of the year. I then had to move the cage as he was chewing holes in the ceiling because he was climbing up the curtain. The cage is on a counter now and he can climb up onto the cupboard where there are toys to play with. One day I put my hand out but he anticipated me and stumbled onto my finger, he was real angry and was flustered. He then started panicking when I put my finger out. I tried to get it there ASAP but he kept flapping and stumbling onto my finger. After that I was putting out my finger and he stumbled and bit me real hard that my finger started bleeding, I renched my hand away and he flapped off my hand onto the floor. He then ran away and when I tried to pick him up he did the same again. I should not have tapped his beak but he flipped - it was my fault and now he wont even come to me. Is it because I changed too much too quickly? Is the cage too high - someone said the cage should not be too high or they think that they rule the roost?

Im not proud of what has happened but maybe I am not spending quality time when Im handling him. I would scratch him and he would be involved if I was chatting to someone. He turns his back on me now and stares out the window that leads into my room. Im so upset and feel that I have ruined my baby. I was then told to lock him in his cage which I dont want to do unless given good advice because he has never been locked up.

Please, any tips, I just dont know where to start...would be so so so grateful.

I think I need to write an article for the forum about how fingers are such a horrible perch for most birds. Try your forearm.

Thanks Auggie's Dad,will try my forearm. Sorry for more questions but what do I do now? He wont come to me at all...Do I leave him and keep trying to approach him throughout the day or do I push the matter and catch him in a towel - am beginning to think people need to watch what advise they give because people have been telling me things that have made things worse...your advise is the first logical thing someone has said to me in ages. How long do you spend with your parrot a day - on average. Do you have him with you then put him in his cage and vice versa or do you spend a solid time with him then leave him? How can we do things that he will enjoy when Im spending time with him...dogs fetch tennis balls..what makes a parrot tick besides being scratched?

Do not towel him, unless there is an emergency or urgent situation where you need to get control of him. Toweling him will just make him more afraid.

Leave the cage open and let him come out on his own. Talk calmly and offer him treats, but don't force anything. If there are any treats he really likes you can use that as a lure to get him to step up. Once he does step up reward him with the treat then let him step right back down again.

Some birds refuse to step up because they don't like what happens as soon as they do: they're taken back to their cage and left alone, they're taken away from their cage when that is the only place their currently comfortable, etc.

Most of the time when your bird steps up he should get some sort of reward then be allowed to go back to doing what he was doing. Make it a positive thing, he ALWAYS gets something good, and rarely looses anything.

Ecclipse said:

what makes a parrot tick besides being scratched?

Click to expand...

This depends on the bird, sometimes the answer is not much other than being scratched, or being near their 'flock'.

There are lots of expensive bird toys - but don't bother. Cheap cat toys are handy, of just get some old paper back books for him to shred.

Your relationship with your bird will grow into its own unique form. There is no right answer to what you and your bird should do together. Auggie spends most of this time grooming me. He climbs in my shirt and sits in the collar... He does have a few toys he likes, but he rarely gets that excited about them.

There are a number of activities or tricks you can teach them - this can be fun for you and intellectually stimulating for them, but I wouldn't bother much with those until you have built a good bond with him. Let him explore his surroundings, and he'll tell you what he likes.

Thanks for the advise, will try rewarding and taking it slow...

My grey doesn't play with any toys. I got him when he was 17 years old, and the only thing he had in his cage when I got him was one hanging toy, which was new looking and never used. I dont' think the original owner had toys for him, so I don't think he really knows what they are. Though he is also lazy. He doesn't like to look for food, or have to spend much time chewing through an almond shell. If he does, he'll just drop it.

Bout the only thing he really likes is phone books. I have a bandsaw, so I take them and cut them into strips, drill a hole through them, and use a ziptie to fasten them in the cage.. Sure they make a mess, but he's happy with them. He does enjoy empty paper towel rolls or toilet paper rolls too.

I tried to get my grey to step up on my forearm, but I don't think he liked it. He tried to bite my skin, but ended up not getting a good grip on it with his beak, and he released it. So back to using an old perch for him to step up on. He has no issues with stepping up on a perch.

WolfmoonCT, you have no idea how much I have learnt this week. We had no electricity this week - huge storm and I worked with him in light from lamps. I seemed to have a calming affect and I did try the forearm idea as well but hugo then one night decided that he would climb from the cage onto my shoulder himself. It has been working ever since. I was in such a state but he is now loving and hopefully fully trusting. I picked up pinecones from one of the fallen trees and he just loves them. Shame, your poor grey, he must of (no offence to other owner) had a boring life. He must be quiet a character. Do you have any photos of him? I phoned my local bird sanctuary to ask if they would allow the public to adopt parrots into their home but they dont. I want to get a second bird a year or so but will see. I thought that hugo would never trust again - it took me 2 months before he even looked my way when I first got him.

Auggie's Dad, thank you so so so so much for the advice. Hugo is getting onto my shoulder without fuss and he is happy with climbing up and down which is a relief. My eyes have been opened as I only now realise how wobbly a finger can be for a parrot. He is his playful self and letting me touch him. When I first got him he flapped his wings real hard while sitting outside his cage and he broke off a feather. It was bleeding badly and I raced him to the vet. They used strapping and a colar to prevent him from chewing it. It seemed to heal but everytime he bumps it or flaps his wings it starts again. I have medicine at home which I apply but it is just used to stop bleeding. I then realised that, obviously when he used to perform when climbing on my finger it would make it hurt or open it up again. I have been to the vet numorous times to get it checked but they say it must just heal. It is not an open wound or big sore but they said it might be because the people who clipped his wings originally didnt do it right and now he keeps breaking the same feathers. I have bought a tonic and give it daily. Is there anything else I should be giving him? Must I be cleaning it daily? I just dont want to upset him if its not necessary.

I don't know of other treatments for a broken feather, but usually the whole feather can be plucked out at the root to prevent any problems. They can do fine with a feather or two missing, and they'd grow back at the next molt.

Perhaps you could ask your vet it plucking it would be appropriate.

Using your arm is the way forward - it took 3 days and my parrot is happy and settled. A happy ending to a situation that could of got even worse - so relieved.