People behavior with my bird

I have had birds in my home on and off most of my adult life and before. Most of my birds have been fully tame and I don't remember this ever happening . . . but now that I have Davy (rescue BFA, afraid of hands, not tame) this happened:

My bf's nephew came to visit for us to meet his new girlfriend. They are both in their early 20s. Davy hangs out on top of his cage when we are home. She kinda squealed when she saw him (i get it, i am a bird lover too) and rushed the cage, I told her to be very careful, move slow, and NOT to touch him, he bites when he is afraid. She completely ignored me and reached for him, saying all birds just loved her. I was across the room, but luckily the nephew knows me pretty well and knows I wouldn't say that if I didn't mean it, and pulled her back just in time from a Davy lunge.

I got between them and made sure Davy was calm, hopefully reassuring him that he was okay, wasn't his fault and got him safely put in his cage.

After that I told her that she wasn't to do anything with him before talking to me, and she was pretty upset, saying how good she was with animals.

I tried to explain that Davy was still in 'recovery' and learning to trust humans, and her actions scared him. She said that I didn't know what I was talking about and they left soon after that.

I shouldn't be surprised, there are all sorts of people in this world. I was just so shocked , if I am around a animal that I don't know, I always talk to the human to find out the dos and don'ts . . . .

I used to walk around with my Macaw and 'Too and never had anyone do anything like this.

Have any of you dealt with this?

Let 'em bite her.

Sounds like a potential lesson to learn something.

Did she hear your instructions? If she did, then I have to agree with ToMang07. If people are not going to show respect in my home, there will be consequences. Sometimes those consequences hurt, a lot

you know, after the fact, I did wish he would have bit her, and it might have taught her a lesson. I do believe she heard me because of her "all birds love me" comment.

The problem with that is I think Davy was harshly punished for such things, when he does something like trying to bite (or actually biting) or a really loud call, he acts like he expects to be hurt so when all that happened, I was more worried about his feelings and not hers, you know?

Later the nephew contacted me and told me he had a talk with the gf, and he wouldn't happen again, luckily they don't live so close that regular visits are expected.

Normally, I would say, "Hell is other people, which is why I live alone with my bird (and husband, who's non-hellish)"

But in this case, I'll try to play Devil's advocate. Maybe the girlfriend is hurt by your bird's rejection? Maybe try to explain, via your nephew, that Davy is not a normal bird (ie normal birds all love the girlfriend) but was in fact abused and needs a lot "space", and isn't allowed to interact with new people yet, because he's still getting adjusted to your home? Once he's fully adjusted, he'll be ok to play with, but till then, he's not a "normal bird" and "acts strangely" with people, even those whom "all birds love". I think she's one of those people who needs to be always right, and always adored by animals? So the explanation needs to be framed in terms that allow her to still be always right and always adored.

People are strange.

AJBirds said:

Normally, I would say, "Hell is other people, which is why I live alone with my bird (and husband, who's non-hellish)"

People are strange.

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first of all I love this statement!! and yes, I did try to explain, but you are right she may have been hurt by it, heck it hurts me when he tries to bite and I know better. I just wish she had given me more of a chance to explain and not have reached for him. I told the nephew that when Davy is more tame she would be welcome to interact with him, provided she listen and follow my direction.

I also told him to tell her that it is like a unfamiliar dog, you wouldn't rush up and try to play without checking with the owner . . . and then he told me that wouldn't work, because she does the same thing with dogs. :22_yikes:

IamJolyn said:

provided she listen and follow my direction.

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"YOU'RE NOT MY MOM, I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU!!!!"

oops - that's not helping, I guess

Did I mention I have no friends?

:09:

Edit to add: since she's clearly not the kind of person who takes the advice of the pets' owners into consideration, maybe the best course of action would be to remove the possibility of any type of interaction, ie Davy stays in his cage and isn't feeling well enough to receive visitors when she comes over.

She obviously missed out on some training when she was a pup! I have a scar on my lip from whee I was bitten by a neighbor dog, Reggie. He escaped his yard, which was rare, and ran over to my yard, so I promptly hugged him (small terrier mix, me a not-small 4-year-old) and he snapped and bit me on the lip. I remember crying from the shock, not pain as my mother was wiping the blood off my face (facial wounds bleed like crazy) and explaining that Reggie didn't know me, and probably thought I was trying to squeeze him to death. She explained rather patiently one should never, ever, EVER hug strange dogs without asking their person's permission.

I still have the impulse, but consciously make an effort to follow that advice.

AJBirds said:

IamJolyn said:

provided she listen and follow my direction.

Click to expand...

"YOU'RE NOT MY MOM, I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU!!!!"

oops - that's not helping, I guess

Did I mention I have no friends?

:09:

.

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That is pretty much what it felt like! haha, well there will not be many visits and yes, I will make sure he is in his cage, and if she still gets bit . . . well that is on her.

@petoftheday - very true, and what is worse is she has 4 kids (thankfully were not here with her at the time) I think I would hide all my pets, my little dogs couldn't handle 4 under 6 year old's that didn't understand that they could hurt them, and be hurt by them. I totally understand the impulse, I adore animals and want to interact with them, but common sense is lacking in this one lol

I am that girl but I NEVER rush a strange animal.
I read them and listen to the owner.

She's not high on the iq tree clearly.

ToMang07 said:

Let 'em bite her.

Sounds like a potential lesson to learn something.

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Yup. This.

A couple of weeks back we had our first large gathering of company since Dexter came home. Each and every single person, adult and child, was told NOT to stick their fingers in his cage because he bites. Not one child disobeyed, but I heard at least 4 adults yelp from getting nipped. Sometimes the big ones are harder to get through to than the pups!

Idiots are a dine a dozen. People who lovingly rehome parrots (Amazons) are as rare as hen's teeth. Thank-you for what you are doing!

I am very thank-you that she was stopped. Had she been bitten, it would have been the Amazon's fault (in her 'weak' head). Also, it could have set-back your good work.

Now retired, we have moved to a smaller home, but it is the new style 'open concept' design. It was a walk before a visitor got to the bird room in the old home, which allowed time to get a feel for a visitor. Today, once in the front door, its all open. Thank God, for the staircase rail, I can at least stand in front of visitors.

Frankly, you got lucky!