bogo1
New member
I have titled this using the word respect. I have placed it under the behavior forum. I am opening a can of worms.
I have been with your forum for some time now. You have made me laugh and cry. You have taught me a tremendous amount and even when you don't agree with each other, the debate is informative. My birds...my friend's birds...have benefited from you sharing your disasters and your triumphs. I am very grateful to have shared E-space with you all.
I must speak though to the issue of tolerance and of meeting people where they are with compassion and thoughtfulness. We all "know" that some birds have more complicated diets than others... and if we care for those birds, we adjust. We all know that some birds run through owners like water because the owners are expecting one thing and that species generally delivers something else. When the bird finally lands with a "forever home" it is because the new parront adjusts and tolerates and respects what the bird has been through. We all know the quiet birds, and we learn to value their whistles and chirps. We know the talkers and we laugh with them and flush when they latch on to some word we'd rather they not have heard. But we don't blame them for hearing the word or remembering it, or saying it when our boss is over for dinner. We... those of us so serious about our birds that we spend time of a forum like this... try hard to figure out what our birds are telling us with their non-verbal cues and flutters, their head bobbing and tail lifting, their cuddling and cringing. We put energy into hearing them and understanding that they come with real brains and experiences, from gentle breeders and horrific closets. The people on this forum include bird "whisperers" in the most positive sense of the word.
Why then, when we are willing to meet our birds "where they are" mentally, physically, spiritually are we not always so tolerant, so willing to listen and really hear the words of those who own them and turn to us for advice and help. Parrots on a spiral (up or down) can end up with owners who may or may not have done their research, who may or may not have the resources financially to support them as we believe essential, who may or may not have an avian vet near by or anywhere reachable, who may or may not get it right each time, or any time. But if that person has come to us for help, then we have been given a gift... an opportunity to make a difference for the bird and the person who cared enough to find us and to come on line to us. Not everyone who owns a computer has electricity to run it more than a few hours a day. Not everyone who puts together the money to pull a bird from the frying pan meant to land him in the fire of ignorance or lack of knowledgeable vets or not enough resources or time or .... But would that bird be better off back in the fying pan?
If someone comes to us to ask "how do I care for x when I don't have y? " isn't more reasonable to try to collaborate with them to care for x without the y type options than to say if you can't get to (or afford, or reach or...) the y then to say "you have no business caring for x in the first place"? It just isn't reasonable to assume that failure to have access to the y stuff is about effort or energy or compassion. When we judge, instead of help, we shut people down. They may never ask again for help for their bird. We are not vets, but we have members who have a great deal to offer to one for whom an avian vet visit is not and will not be an option. It is not reasonable to judge someone for living in a country without a vet. The bird was there...without a vet before the bird owner tried to help. And we all know that sometimes the vets are wrong, or the answer is tragic, vet involvement or not. Working with the owner where that owner is...geographically, philosophically, financially, intellectually... is not easy sometimes. But if we...diverse people with diverse birds with diverse experiences can't figure "it" out, then at least we can share our concern with those who care enough to come on line to seek our help.
It is easy to judge. It is a lot harder to bridge to someone whose options, experiences and choices are very different from our own. But if we are to help the birds, we need to meet the bird's owners in their world, not judge them for not being in ours.
Okay, stepping off soap box now. If I have angered or offended... I apologize.
I have been with your forum for some time now. You have made me laugh and cry. You have taught me a tremendous amount and even when you don't agree with each other, the debate is informative. My birds...my friend's birds...have benefited from you sharing your disasters and your triumphs. I am very grateful to have shared E-space with you all.
I must speak though to the issue of tolerance and of meeting people where they are with compassion and thoughtfulness. We all "know" that some birds have more complicated diets than others... and if we care for those birds, we adjust. We all know that some birds run through owners like water because the owners are expecting one thing and that species generally delivers something else. When the bird finally lands with a "forever home" it is because the new parront adjusts and tolerates and respects what the bird has been through. We all know the quiet birds, and we learn to value their whistles and chirps. We know the talkers and we laugh with them and flush when they latch on to some word we'd rather they not have heard. But we don't blame them for hearing the word or remembering it, or saying it when our boss is over for dinner. We... those of us so serious about our birds that we spend time of a forum like this... try hard to figure out what our birds are telling us with their non-verbal cues and flutters, their head bobbing and tail lifting, their cuddling and cringing. We put energy into hearing them and understanding that they come with real brains and experiences, from gentle breeders and horrific closets. The people on this forum include bird "whisperers" in the most positive sense of the word.
Why then, when we are willing to meet our birds "where they are" mentally, physically, spiritually are we not always so tolerant, so willing to listen and really hear the words of those who own them and turn to us for advice and help. Parrots on a spiral (up or down) can end up with owners who may or may not have done their research, who may or may not have the resources financially to support them as we believe essential, who may or may not have an avian vet near by or anywhere reachable, who may or may not get it right each time, or any time. But if that person has come to us for help, then we have been given a gift... an opportunity to make a difference for the bird and the person who cared enough to find us and to come on line to us. Not everyone who owns a computer has electricity to run it more than a few hours a day. Not everyone who puts together the money to pull a bird from the frying pan meant to land him in the fire of ignorance or lack of knowledgeable vets or not enough resources or time or .... But would that bird be better off back in the fying pan?
If someone comes to us to ask "how do I care for x when I don't have y? " isn't more reasonable to try to collaborate with them to care for x without the y type options than to say if you can't get to (or afford, or reach or...) the y then to say "you have no business caring for x in the first place"? It just isn't reasonable to assume that failure to have access to the y stuff is about effort or energy or compassion. When we judge, instead of help, we shut people down. They may never ask again for help for their bird. We are not vets, but we have members who have a great deal to offer to one for whom an avian vet visit is not and will not be an option. It is not reasonable to judge someone for living in a country without a vet. The bird was there...without a vet before the bird owner tried to help. And we all know that sometimes the vets are wrong, or the answer is tragic, vet involvement or not. Working with the owner where that owner is...geographically, philosophically, financially, intellectually... is not easy sometimes. But if we...diverse people with diverse birds with diverse experiences can't figure "it" out, then at least we can share our concern with those who care enough to come on line to seek our help.
It is easy to judge. It is a lot harder to bridge to someone whose options, experiences and choices are very different from our own. But if we are to help the birds, we need to meet the bird's owners in their world, not judge them for not being in ours.
Okay, stepping off soap box now. If I have angered or offended... I apologize.
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