Trust issues

Cooks was a escaped cockatiel when i found and captured him/her, besides being extremely skinny he was very dirty. I know the manner i got him would make winning his trust hard and because i do not know how he was raised or his age, i have no great expectations and i have no dream of him ever being tame. All i want is a happy healthy well balance life for him.

It has been a year or more and i am still confused by his behaviours like:
Why would he only call out to wild birds? And ignore the calls of the neighbouring cockatiels whistling and chatting away all day.
Some times he still hisses at me when i change his feed or clean his cage.
i spend a few hours a day sitting next to his cage and he would make a soft sound back at me when i make soft kissing or clicking sounds but not always.
I keep my movement's slow and steady because he scares easy, even doing any food or cage change freaks him out and he would not touch it for day's ps.this will send him into the hissing phase again.
I would like to know if he is a he or a she and not just what i call him, but the last time i had to hold him it took a month for him too forgive me , so i am not keen on doing the feel test to find out the gender.

Forget about what sex your Tiel may of may not be. At this point, its all about relationship development. Your Tiel has no idea what he or she is in Human speak. So, stop feeling around and interact on a Only Good Things Happen when I'm around!

Regarding Calls. The Wild calls have meaning as to whether it is safe or if danger is about. And since up until recently, those calls where clearly more important.

At this point, its all about developing a high level of comfort being around you. Only Good Things Happen when you are around.

Yes, it is going to be slow going. That is the reality of what you are faced with in a Tiel that has reason not to trust Humans.

Consider moving the food and water bowls closer to the access door(s). The shorter and less you are inside the cage, the more comfort your Tiel will have.

Having a large cage is important, with several different size perches. Toys you can make out if cardboard abd paper, plastic beads as long as they aren't coated in a metallic paint. Putting the backside of the cage against the wall, and always approach from the front abd talking letting him know what you are going to do. You can attach perches to the outside of the cage, and if your house is safe no dogs or cats, or ceiling fans , closed window with blinds or curtains drawn so he won't fly into them you can try letting him come out of the cage on his own and go back in on his own. If you haven't let him out of the cage before he may freak out and fly around, just be patient and wait for him to relax don't chase him around, abd see if he can figure out how to go back to the cage on his own. After he gets used to that you may find it easier to work with him outside of the cage...find treats he really likes, and have a treat dish in the cage and outside of the cage. Everytime you pass him offer a treat and say his name or the same phrase every time, like hello pretty bird. It has to be very hard to work with a wild bird, especially since you haven't had pet birds before. But you can make a lot of progress, you'll have to read our tips on bonding thread, and others may have good advice.. Since you've worked with other animals you know they have the fight or flight response at certain distances, you are going to slowly work at being able to get closer over time without triggering that response. Read the tips on bonding with budgies, because it will be very similar to what you will need to do..

I'm so glad you're here, getting good advice.

You know what? I do hope you find out more about socializing and all that good stuff, buttttt... wow... he/she is safe, warm, fed, clean. You're a hero.

Thank you!

Most pet birds, rescued or shop bought or however they come, will take their own sweet time adjusting to their new home, and they will bring all sorts of emotional baggage with them particularly if they’re a rescue of any sort. Quite some years ago now I “rescued” what had to have been an escaped pet cockatiel (I grabbed her before the local crows did!) I had no idea whether she had been someone’s hand tame pet or an escapee from an aviary but she wanted NOTHING whatsoever to do with me. Which was a pity because she was a beautiful lutino bird with the softest snuggliest feathers (when you possibly could get near her!). I had other hand-tame birds in the home so I thought maybe she would learn from them that I wasn’t all bad but no. After about 7 or 8 years of this and a change of diet where I finally managed to convert her from seeds to a pellet based diet it was like someone flicked a switch in her little head and almost overnight she turned into a complete snuggle bug and couldn’t get enough of cuddles and skritches any time of the day or night!

The moral of this story I guess is that it’s never too late, and it really is up to the bird if/when they make up their own mind about how much they want to interact with you and it’s always best if it’s the bird’s idea.

Thank you for the advice everyone, feeling more relaxed about it all. I have been reading up on body languages and how the can differ from parrot to parrot, and apparently he is way more relaxed about my company then i though,

Cooks, Just for a point of reference, I adopted a middle aged bird 3 years ago. She has been a great bird but not without the occasional bite and lunge, During these last few months, after 3 years, she has finally turned the corner as far as trust is concerned.

I would not be at all concerned with an escaped, wild caught bird and where you are with her after only a year.

Thamk you all, i am loving all the information so far, i do need to correct myself as i was politely reminded today that it has been more like 3 years now. I guess that having her has been so easy in a sense that i just lost complete track of time. SORRY!!!!!

i have moved very slowly with her and now understanding instead of just knowing about "normal" behaviour and i have realised that she actually has come along really nicely from the freaked out skeleton cockatiel a few years back. And it's all too this forum now i can see the small wins instead of the things she is not doing or "should be"

It took 2 years to develop trust between Pinky (Tiel I bought at a yard sale) and me.
She was afraid of hands but she liked my face. When she was out of her cage I would get my face right up to her beak. She would groom my eyebrows and nibble at my nose.

She lets me pick her up about 1/2 the time with my fingers. When she won't step up on my had I use one of her seed dishes and pick her up and carry her around.

She mostly learned to trust my hands cuz she is a horribly bad flyer. She always ends up stuck somewhere and I have to rescue her. So she knows my hand is a way to safety.