Meyer's Behavior has drastically changed....

HELP!!!!! but Hello,

This is my first ever ParrotsForum post!!!

For the last 3 years now I've been the owner of a cute Meyer's Parrot. I had adopted him when he was 3 months old (as assumed by the seller). He indeed seem very young since when I got him,he did not have his yellow crest as he does now. He was super sweet and friendly and loved cuddling and preening on my shoulder as I watched TV/ internet surfing. At the time 3 years ago, I lived with my parents. Aside from me, my Meyers really loved my father as well, since he does not work and is home 24/7 while I worked full time.

Contrary to that, my Meyer's hated my mom and would always try to attack her head or get at her glasses. Along with the terrorizing of my mom, he also did not like my mom petting him on his back, or even get her hands close to any part of his body. If she did ever, he would squawk (in a scared tone) and try to fly away. This attitude towards my mom was pretty much established in the beginning, and to this day is still active anytime I come and visit my parents.

I moved out to Los Angeles the beginning of 2019 with my boyfriend and my Meyer's Parrot. Everything was fine, cuddles were made, love was shared, all was bliss. Then about mid-July, one day I was holding the little guy, giving him ear rubs and all of a sudden he squawked and flew back to his cage, since the beginning of that day I have never been able to hold him or pet his back like I used to. He also now gives off a sense of terror or apprehension whenever I approach him or try to hang out with him. It's almost the end of the year, and it breaks my heart how long this has lasted. But I suppose I do have some theories:

Throughout the 3 years, I've had a series of different hairstyles. From very boy cropped - short to medium length hair, bangs or no bangs, styling, you name it. All the while, my parrot did not treat me any different compared to the beginning. As of now, I just have shoulder length hair that is not really any different in terms of color or style. In terms of looks and hair type, my mom and I have similar characteristics so I assume maybe my Meyer's thinks I am the woman he both hated and feared (my mother) back at my old home.

Because my parrot absolutely loved my dad, he now takes to my boyfriend for companionship and as a nice shoulder to preen and sleep on (what he used to do to me).....

I honestly don't know why this has happened to me and has broken my heart so many times. I have finally came here after so long, in hopes for anyone that has experienced this situation or for any honest advise...

Side Note: I don't know if this helps but when I stayed back at my old parent's place for Thanksgiving last month, I brought my Meyer's over for some quality time. For the small moments that it was, I was able to pick up and snuggle him for the very first time since this July....My theory is either he does not like our new LA home and prefers my parents house, or he really does think I am my mom but when he sees both of us together he understands I am not her (as in he needs to see both of us to distinguish my mom and "his loving mom".

Any advice at this point will be tremendously appreciated......

Think very young child as a foundation.
- You take this young child away from everything that was considered normal /home /family and then one day everything is different!
- As a result, a new relationship is formed to replace the one that is lost.
- You believe that is unfair because it is with someone else other than you.
- Once while 'petting' you Parrots head, you run your finger over his ear and it hurts him.
- His trust in you fades...

A few Loving and Living with Parrots Ideas:
- Birds have no natural reason to trust us. Everyday we need to work to build and maintain that Trust. When that Trust is lost, we need to start all over again, and slowly rebuild that Trust.
- It is never the fault of the Parrot!
It is always the fault of the Human!
By changing to this Vantage Point, you will more quickly see what you are doing wrong and correct it.

Much more, but I think this is enough to get your started from a different Vantage Point regarding interactions with your Parrot.

Hello and welcome! We have lots of posts on behavior. So if you go to page 10 of my Ornithology thread, you will find severali ks to behavior articles. http://www.parrotforums.com/general...hare-discuss-scientific-articles-parrots.html

It happens. One person buys a parrot and loves it to death, the SO of that person either is meehh about the bird or dislikes it, and the parrot LOVES them, not you. Very common. I have one word for you.............BRIBE ! If you are THE one to offer this meyers his most extra special fav treat, he will think better of you ( over time). But heed what 'Boats said about trust. Easy to loose, HARD to get back.

Thank you for the feedback

I did not clarify that prior to moving out to LA there were I believe 2 cases during the 3 years prior where my Meyer's did not want to associate with me/very apprehensive of me regardless of still living with my parents. Those 2 cases were also random occurances of: relaxing of petting my Meyer's, sudden startled reflex and flies away, then continues to reject interactions or petting.
While this did happen 2 times, he would only be that way for maybe a week or 2, then settle back into his normal trusting self.
This time it's been since July until now I do definitely feel the trust was lost, but somehow redirected to another person who does not care or show interest in the way I always do (maybe he now prefers no interaction at all?)

It is very weird, and the trust building success wavers so much, a few days of what seems to feel normal again and then weeks of failure

EDIT: I also bribe him all the time (literally daily) with bits of Millet Spray or Safflower Seeds. Even small bites of chips I eat. Regardless of the love or bribing I do, I am not what I was to him before sadly.

On top of all of the transitions you described (which can be really earth-shattering for any bird)---
3-4 years = sexual maturity for them (https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/meyers-parrots---general), so puberty/hormones is/are likely on top of the shock/frustration of the changes you described. Much like a teen is a pain-in- the-butt, so are teen (and often adult) birds. You are transitioning from a baby/kid (who was cool with everything /agreed with his "parronts") to an adult with opinions and attitude.
You will need to continue building trust at puberty--even if you think you already had it. Transitions are always hard, as is puberty.

NO SHADOWY SPACES (indefinitely/ever again) in the cage (and no access to them outside the cage)---under furniture, under clothing, piles of fabric/pillows/blankets, no tents, no huts, no shelves, no drawers...

No petting anywhere other than the head and neck--indefinitely/ever . This complicates your relationship with a bird and turns you into a sexual object---rejection can turn to resentment and aggression fast.

No warm/mushy foods during possible hormonal spells.

No bedding or nesting materials in/around the cage (paper shreds, woodchips etc).

Make sure your bird is getting a bare minimum of 10-12 hours of sleep nightly on a set schedule. Dark/light regulate mood, hormones and immune health.

Ensure that your time together is spent doing interactive activities and that he is kept busy (and that there is plenty to do in the cage, but that he also gets exercise outside the cage).

On top of all of that, look into ABA and appropriate behavioral responses for the behavior you are seeing.