Stopping GCC aggression towards SO?

I've had Goji for almost 4 years now. He is not very well socialized as I have always been the primary caretaker and most of the time, the only one in the house. I met my current partner 8 months ago and Goji started showing aggression at him 2 months in. The incident happened when I was in the shower and my SO was in my room alone with the bird. He left the room, leaving a crack at the door. Seeing how bird was trying to squeeze through, SO opens the door to let him out. Instantly, bird flies at him and clamps onto his ear, drawing blood. I did not witness the situation, so I do not know what could have triggered this behaviour. Bird now has to stay in the cage as SO is traumatized by the situation. Some facts about the situation:

My SO and I do not live together - he visits 1-2x a week

SO has been giving him treats through the cage bars when he visits, but Goji still puffs up whenever he sees SO

My room is where the bird cages are in, and where they stay 80-90% of the time

Goji can be aggressive toward anyone, but had never attacked anyone like that before. He will bite when someone puts their hand up to his face, but normally just perches somewhere and leaves people alone as long as they leave him alone.

Goji has attacked and bitten my aunt's and cousin's fingers before when their hand was too close to my bed (could he be territorial of my bed?)

I would appreciate any training tips and stress relief techniques from you bird lovers out there! I understand that the lack of socialization is probably the greatest contributor to this behaviour, but I'm not sure how to fix that as I'm normally the only human around.

TDLR under-socialized and aggressive bird attacked my SO and now he stays in the cage whenever traumatized SO comes over. Please help.

Does he have a bedtime like a kid each night with a bare minimum of 10 hours sleep, but ideally 12? (If not, he needs one--and quiet, dark sleep). 10-12 hours of sleep on a solid schedule is essential for hormone and immune health---very important.


Does he have any snuggle huts, boxes, bedding, access to pillows, blankets, cave-like anything, drawers, under clothing, under furniture, low shelves etc? If so, he shouldn't? NO, I repeat, NO snuggle huts, happy huts, or tents...No shadow spaces at all...this matters a lot, really! These are massive hormonal triggers and what seems like aggression is often closely tired to raging hormones.

Do you (or anyone) pet, stroke or "tickle" him in places other than the head or neck? If so, everyone must stop (forever) no matter how much he likes it..

How do you react when he gets aggressive? What do you do the second the bite happens? What did your aunt do? What did you SO do?

The reaction IMMEDIATELY after the bite (sound, proximity, physicality, eye contact etc) ALL matters SO much...


What does he eat each day?

Thanks for your reply!

The birds have always stayed in my room since it is the only place I can keep them. It's lights out at 11pm every night and I draw the black-out curtains to keep the light out in the morning. I would say they do get between 10-12 hours of sleep every night.

He used to have a happy hut that he loved, but I took it out about 4 months ago after reading about their dangers. Side question, though, what do you use as their "bed" if no huts or tents?

I am the only person who can handle him, unfortunately. He will take food that he likes from people, but will not let anyone touch him without biting. I do only tickle him in the head and neck, but he also likes cuddling in my hand when he takes naps.

I admit I am usually at a loss when it comes to dealing with his aggression. Usually, I say a firm "no" and move him away from whatever triggered him. If he bites me in my room, I remove him from the room, shut the door, and allow him back in after about 10 seconds (know it's effective for dog training, not sure for birds lol). The times he bit my aunt and cousin, they yelled in surprise/pain and moved their hand away. I'm not sure what triggered him, though. As for SO, he basically clung on to SO's ear while SO tried to gently pry him off. He probably also yelled in surprise/pain. Again, not sure what triggered that either and I was not there to witness it the situation.

The birds are currently on Harrison's with chop and sprouts every day. They get Tropical Nutriberries as treats. I also bought some TOP's seed mixes that I will be soaking overnight and incorporating into their diet soon.

Appreciate any help, thank you!

hangrysquawk said:

Thanks for your reply!

The birds have always stayed in my room since it is the only place I can keep them. It's lights out at 11pm every night and I draw the black-out curtains to keep the light out in the morning. I would say they do get between 10-12 hours of sleep every night.

He used to have a happy hut that he loved, but I took it out about 4 months ago after reading about their dangers. Side question, though, what do you use as their "bed" if no huts or tents?

I am the only person who can handle him, unfortunately. He will take food that he likes from people, but will not let anyone touch him without biting. I do only tickle him in the head and neck, but he also likes cuddling in my hand when he takes naps.

I admit I am usually at a loss when it comes to dealing with his aggression. Usually, I say a firm "no" and move him away from whatever triggered him. If he bites me in my room, I remove him from the room, shut the door, and allow him back in after about 10 seconds (know it's effective for dog training, not sure for birds lol). The times he bit my aunt and cousin, they yelled in surprise/pain and moved their hand away. I'm not sure what triggered him, though. As for SO, he basically clung on to SO's ear while SO tried to gently pry him off. He probably also yelled in surprise/pain. Again, not sure what triggered that either and I was not there to witness it the situation.

The birds are currently on Harrison's with chop and sprouts every day. They get Tropical Nutriberries as treats. I also bought some TOP's seed mixes that I will be soaking overnight and incorporating into their diet soon.

Appreciate any help, thank you!

Click to expand...

Try to get him on a better sleep routine. Diet sounds very good!

Birds in the wild do just find on branches (no "bed" needed)---we tend to think that way because when we see birds, they are in nests (making babies) but also because we sleep in beds. They don't need them. It's our tendency to assume they do, but they wouldn't have something like that unless it was mating season and they had an SO.

I hope you will look into ABA (applied behavior analysis). You could be accidentally reinforcing/rewarding the behavior by isolating him if his goal is to get away from someone (aka escape a situation or experience)..If a kid throws a fit at the table over spinach and bites mom or dad, and everyone leaves so the kid gets out of eating, it's a success as far as the kid is concerned...You method would work IF the behavior were being reinforced by attention, but it seems like it is more than that...coupled with hormones and probably mate defending behavior (yes, he loves you and likely sees you as his mate, but if when other people come around, he bites and doesn't have to see you with them anymore, in his mind, he may think he has fought them off, you know?)

I am really tired, but I'll try to find you some links so that you can re-frame the way you are thinking about this.

Also-- very bad idea to have him in your room. He should be in the main hub of the house (aside from the kitchen).

Okay--- here is the ABA post --it was written for a member whose bird was biting her kid:

"First--- mitigate hormonal influences and get rid of triggers--In the short-term, things that impact behavior outside of you or the bird are sometimes called "setting events" :
1. remove all snuggle huts, tents, caves and hammocks from his cage and don't let him hang out in bedding, under cloths, in boxes etc.
2. Pet on the head and neck only.
3. 10-12 hours of sleep on a schedule each night.
4. Make sure he is getting plenty of activity and enrichment/ things to do

From there, I would recommend Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). Start by making what they call an ABC chart (antecedent= what happens right before the bird's behavior, behavior=what the bird does, c= consequence =what happens right after the behavior (good or bad---consequence is just the RESULT and it doesn't mean consequence in the same way that we sometimes think of a consequence).

In the scenario you gave above:

Antecedent= Son laughed while you were playing with him and bird was on you.
behavior= bird flew off and bit son on lip.....You didn't say what happened next, but that would be the consequence.
consequence= WHATEVER YOU AND YOUR SON DID=== did he cry? Did you yell? Did your son leave the room? Did you put the bird back on the cage? Did you stop playing Monopoly? All of these things are really important because all behaviors serves a purpose. People and animals only do things because we are rewarded in some conscious or subconscious way by the results of the behavior. This is called the "function" of a behavior (the reason we do it). A behavior can have more than one function, but all behaviors fall into 1 of 4 categories:

1. Escape (to get out of a location, get away from a person, avoid a task/activity etc)
2. Attention (to get attention from humans or animals which may include eye contact, yelling, laughter, increased proximity, scolding etc)
3.Tangibles- to obtain a physical item---e.g., a kid throwing a fit to get candy at the grocery store or hitting another kid to take their toy. Heck---working for a paycheck also falls into this realm.
4. Sensory= eating when hungry (to stop the hunger), taking a pill for a headache, scratching your skin because it itches, crying as a response to legitimate pain.

I would say that this behavior, while rooted in a sudden change in hormones/ drive, can be shaped if you start to understand how everyone's reactions are likely feeding into it.

By charting ABC's of a behavior, you start to see a pattern. When you look at the "c" column (consequences) you will find a general pattern. Without knowing more about this pattern of behavior and consequences (e.g., charting it) I cannot say with certainty what the function/reason is, but just based on what you said and based on my experiences, I am going to guess that after you do the charting, you will probably notice that the majority of the "consequences" will be linked to the theme/"function" of attention ---but when you look at the chart, you will want to ask yourself, is this consequence creating an opportunity for attention, escape, tangibles or sensory. You may have a combination, but you are looking for the once you see most frequently across the board in relation to this behavior.

This is how you determine the function (reason for doing) a behavior. When you know the function, you can then manipulate the behavior by A) NOT gratifying/rewarding the behavior with consequences that serve the function and B) providing more appropriate ways for the function of that behavior to be met without doing it in an inappropriate way. These are socially acceptable alternatives to the undesirable location--- they allow the same function to be met/gratified, but in a more appropriate way.

From the sounds of it, your bird is likely motivated by 1. primarily attention from you and 2. Escape/avoidance of your son (because he is an attention-blocker/associated with lack of attention from you).--I AM JUST GUESSING--- IF I AM WRONG ABOUT ATTENTION BEING THE FUNCTION THEN YOU WILL NEED TO DO A DIFFERENT INTERVENTION---

I can't say for sure without knowing how you react when this stuff happens, but if he is like most 7 year-olds, here's what I imagine:

Playing game with you (attention is on game and kid) , Kid laughs, bird bites.
Kid screams, you stop paying attention to the game , you yell/scold/react while looking at bird-- if this happens, so far, the bird has learned that biting gets attention from you and your kid (if what happens is anything like what I just described)--if your kid leaves, then your bird no longer sees you giving him that attention and all is right in the world again (the "threat" has been removed). He wants your attention because he is a flock creature, but also because he is reaching sexual maturity and likely views you as a mate and in the wild, conures do not share mates. Your kid is a potential threat as long as you are a sexual object. This doesn't mean withdrawing all attention from your bird, but it does mean that you will have to be EXTRA mindful about how you interact with him in order to set the bird up for success (before the behavior occurs and in situations where the behavior is likely to occur).

In an attention seeking behavior, the bigger your reaction, the more you are rewarding the bird. In this case, 2 people reacting with urgency could be quite gratifying!
Assuming the bird really wants attention from you, instead of making a big thing of it, my suggestion would be to firmly say No (NOT loudly, one time) and use something like a time-out cage to isolate the bird immediately following the bite. If you are the object of the bird's attention seeking then you need to accomplish this as quickly as possible with as little eye-contact/reaction as possible. This will only work if you are absolutely certain that your bird is biting for attention--- by doing a short time-out away from you and your son, his attention seeking behavior cannot be reinforced.

At the same time, after a short time-out, you need to show him positive ways that he can get attention from you while your son is around WITHOUT biting. This is that socially acceptable equivalent I discussed earlier-- if he bites for attention, maybe you teach him to ring a bell for attention, say a word word for attention, take a treat for attention etc. Something that gets him the same type of reward without upsetting the household.

Because this involves a kid, it IS more complicated though because it's going to be really hard for your son to control his reactions. If he cannot control his reactions, then you need to consider avoiding situations in which things like this can occur, because if you are trying to stick with the "ignoring" program, but he keeps reacting, then you will likely make the behavior even worse...so it's important to be as consistent as possible once you start an intervention.

I would definitely try to pair your son with positives for the bird. It is likely that you pay attention to your child more than the bird when he is around, and that is no fun for the bird. Try to make a consious effort of giving your bird MORE attention (for positives) when your son is around and pair him with as many positives as possible. In an attention seeker, attention will always be the most important reward, but you can tack on other incentives too (like a favorite treat whenever he is with you and your son). The thing is, the treat MUST be secondary to the main reward (attention ). While it can help strengthen positive associations, an attention-seeker's behavior is never going to be impacted by food alone (unless getting that food is accompanied by the attention it desires)."

more ABA

Here are a few human ABA sites, but this is great with other animals too- ESPECIALLY parrots.. it's just the way we all (as humans/animals).
I have used it on every animal I have met and it works amazingly as long as you understand the motivation behind a behavior. My cockatoo has come SO far as a result of this mindset and I have used it since I adopted her years ago (she was an adult re-home)...It doesn't always fix a problem right away- but sometimes, in simple cases, it can work like magic.

Even a neuro-typical or gifted adult human will still follow these same behavioral patterns, so I want to emphasize that it isn't about training people as though they were animals..it's about training animals as though they were people...and YES, WE ALL WERE TRAINED. Why do you eat with a fork, pee in a toilet, say excuse me when you burp, wear pants? Smile BECAUSE IT WAS REINFORCED and the benefits of doing these behaviors outweigh the consequences of not doing them. I say all of this because I feel like sometimes people get offended when they first read about ABA, but it's just a way of looking at the world .. People who don't like ABA still run around reinforcing behaviors (good and bad ones) but it's the mindset that is lacking, so they are kind of flying blind.

A lot of the literature tends to focus on kids with autism, but it impacts ALL of us, every single day A light turns green when you are driving, so you go... A police officer flashes his lights behind your car so you either pull over (or run if you are guilty lol) , but either way it's to avoid getting into trouble (escape) lol! Now, not ALL behaviors will fit perfectly into a single function of attention, escape, sensory or tangibles but there is almost always a primary (even in dual function behaviors).


https://www.abadegreeprograms.net/faq/what-is-applied-behavior-analysis-in-simple-terms/reader's digest

https://www.autismspeaks.org/applied-behavior-analysis-aba-0 --another overview

http://theautismhelper.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/ABA-101-Handouts-The-Autism-Helper.pdf this is the best one/detailed (but a bit overwhelming probably)

Wow, thank you for the detailed response! I will definitely try the ABA charting method.

One thing, though..SO is my significant other. He is a man, so I'm wondering if Goji might be jealous of him and that may have led to this aggression, seeing how they're both male? I'm not sure what happened in the room since I wasn't there, but my best guess is that SO was minding his own business and Goji might have tried to follow him through the door. I'm wondering if Goji got mad that SO closed the door on him, so went and attacked him when he was able to get through.

Either way, I'll definitely start documenting his behaviour moving forward.

Here's some more lol--- see these links-- I am copying and pasting now (but DO read all of those links):

1. If he has any shadowy places like tents, huts, boxes, drawers etc in or around his cage, remove his access. These are hormonal triggers and he likely views your son as his mate an is "protecting" him from you (the threat).

2. Make sure your son is only petting him on the head and neck. No cuddles or stroking or touching under the wings/on the sides etc--- this is also sexual and leads to behavioral issues when it is ongoing.

3. Make sure the bird's cage is never covered during the day (not even partially) and that he has at least 10 hours of dark/quiet sleep each night on a set schedule. This will also help regulate hormones and immune function.

4. Keep sugary foods like fruit to a minimum and avoid warm mushy foods during hormonal periods.

5. Piles of paper/bedding etc should also be banned from his access/in his cage.

6. After you remove the triggers, you have to start working on changing the behavior. Never physically punish a bird and never shout or yell at a bird (it will often serve as a reward to them, no matter your intention). You do not want to teach the bird to manipulate by biting. At the same time, you want to give the bird as little biting practice as possible, because the more it bites, the more likely it is to discover that it can change the behaviors of others by doing do. Let me post a link to another post I wrote to a different member on a similar topic. ---> see my 8th and 9th posts in the following thread on ABA:
http://www.parrotforums.com/quakers/85621-casey-acting-increasingly-hostile-towards-fiance.html

Here is the original thread with the OP's message that I copied and pasted to response 8 in the thread above (should you wish to see more detail in-context): http://www.parrotforums.com/conures...-has-become-aggressive-my-7-year-old-som.html

Here is another: http://www.parrotforums.com/cockatoos/85529-how-get-cockatoo-used-husband.html
Read EllenD's post on the shunning method: http://www.parrotforums.com/cockatoos/78055-my-galah-too-attached-me-2.html

This is going to have to be a family project and everyone will have to agree to follow the same protocol when behaviors occur- similarly, every person petting your bird must avoid triggering sexual behavior by sticking to the head and neck only.

This is amazing, thank you so much for these links!!!

hangrysquawk said:

Wow, thank you for the detailed response! I will definitely try the ABA charting method.

One thing, though..SO is my significant other. He is a man, so I'm wondering if Goji might be jealous of him and that may have led to this aggression, seeing how they're both male? I'm not sure what happened in the room since I wasn't there, but my best guess is that SO was minding his own business and Goji might have tried to follow him through the door. I'm wondering if Goji got mad that SO closed the door on him, so went and attacked him when he was able to get through.

Either way, I'll definitely start documenting his behaviour moving forward.

Click to expand...

I bet you it has everything to do with your bird thinking you are his mate, and seeing your SO as a potential risk to that relationship (as opposed to the gender itself). You said yourself he wasn't well socialized and they are hard-wired to find a mate. If he has spent most of his time with you in your room for 4 years, then you are 99.9% that mate in his mind.

I fixed the AutismHelper link (best one) that wasn't working above---FYI---not sure if you will have time to check it out, but it is the one I said was quite good but probably overwhelming.
http://theautismhelper.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/ABA-101-Handouts-The-Autism-Helper.pdf

noodles123 said:

hangrysquawk said:

Wow, thank you for the detailed response! I will definitely try the ABA charting method.

One thing, though..SO is my significant other. He is a man, so I'm wondering if Goji might be jealous of him and that may have led to this aggression, seeing how they're both male? I'm not sure what happened in the room since I wasn't there, but my best guess is that SO was minding his own business and Goji might have tried to follow him through the door. I'm wondering if Goji got mad that SO closed the door on him, so went and attacked him when he was able to get through.

Either way, I'll definitely start documenting his behaviour moving forward.

Click to expand...

I bet you it has everything to do with your bird thinking you are his mate, and seeing your SO as a potential risk to that relationship (as opposed to the gender itself). You said yourself he wasn't well socialized and they are hard-wired to find a mate. If he has spent most of his time with you in your room for 4 years, then you are 99.9% that mate in his mind.

Click to expand...

I was hoping this wasn't the case Would you have any tips on how to socialize him at this point with everyone? I hate how stressed he and everyone else gets because of this lack of human contact aside from myself...

hangrysquawk said:

noodles123 said:

hangrysquawk said:

Wow, thank you for the detailed response! I will definitely try the ABA charting method.

One thing, though..SO is my significant other. He is a man, so I'm wondering if Goji might be jealous of him and that may have led to this aggression, seeing how they're both male? I'm not sure what happened in the room since I wasn't there, but my best guess is that SO was minding his own business and Goji might have tried to follow him through the door. I'm wondering if Goji got mad that SO closed the door on him, so went and attacked him when he was able to get through.

Either way, I'll definitely start documenting his behaviour moving forward.

Click to expand...

I bet you it has everything to do with your bird thinking you are his mate, and seeing your SO as a potential risk to that relationship (as opposed to the gender itself). You said yourself he wasn't well socialized and they are hard-wired to find a mate. If he has spent most of his time with you in your room for 4 years, then you are 99.9% that mate in his mind.

Click to expand...

I was hoping this wasn't the case Would you have any tips on how to socialize him at this point with everyone? I hate how stressed he and everyone else gets because of this lack of human contact aside from myself...

Click to expand...

Yes-- read those links. You will want to work on making sure your relationship isn't sexual, integrating him more into the main space, and building trust/positivity with other family member SLOWLY....in a very low-stress, positive way....so for instance, instead of you giving food/treats, have your SO do it while you are not around (for a period of time---save the best treats for him to give)...and not necessarily from his hand if that is too soon-- you want to move at the bird's pace and keep him relaxed as possible, so if sticking food through the bars causes any agitation, your SO can just set a favorite treat in the bowl and sit like 10 feet away reading out-loud or something---get the bird used to him and associating him with good stuff without the pressure of moving past his comfort zone...It is a slow process, but it can be done.

noodles123 said:

hangrysquawk said:

noodles123 said:

I bet you it has everything to do with your bird thinking you are his mate, and seeing your SO as a potential risk to that relationship (as opposed to the gender itself). You said yourself he wasn't well socialized and they are hard-wired to find a mate. If he has spent most of his time with you in your room for 4 years, then you are 99.9% that mate in his mind.

Click to expand...

I was hoping this wasn't the case Would you have any tips on how to socialize him at this point with everyone? I hate how stressed he and everyone else gets because of this lack of human contact aside from myself...

Click to expand...

Yes-- read those links. You will want to work on making sure your relationship isn't sexual, integrating him more into the main space, and building trust/positivity with other family member SLOWLY....in a very low-stress, positive way....so for instance, instead of you giving food/treats, have your SO do it while you are not around (for a period of time---save the best treats for him to give)...and not necessarily from his hand if that is too soon-- you want to move at the bird's pace and keep him relaxed as possible, so if sticking food through the bars causes any agitation, your SO can just set a favorite treat in the bowl and sit like 10 feet away reading out-loud or something---get the bird used to him and associating him with good stuff without the pressure of moving past his comfort zone...It is a slow process, but it can be done.

Click to expand...

Understood! Thank you for your help noodles123!

hangrysquawk said:

noodles123 said:

hangrysquawk said:

I was hoping this wasn't the case Would you have any tips on how to socialize him at this point with everyone? I hate how stressed he and everyone else gets because of this lack of human contact aside from myself...

Click to expand...

Yes-- read those links. You will want to work on making sure your relationship isn't sexual, integrating him more into the main space, and building trust/positivity with other family member SLOWLY....in a very low-stress, positive way....so for instance, instead of you giving food/treats, have your SO do it while you are not around (for a period of time---save the best treats for him to give)...and not necessarily from his hand if that is too soon-- you want to move at the bird's pace and keep him relaxed as possible, so if sticking food through the bars causes any agitation, your SO can just set a favorite treat in the bowl and sit like 10 feet away reading out-loud or something---get the bird used to him and associating him with good stuff without the pressure of moving past his comfort zone...It is a slow process, but it can be done.

Click to expand...

Understood! Thank you for your help noodles123!

Click to expand...

You are so welcome-- remember this all will take a lot of time, patience and absolute consistency, so just make sure SO understands the rules of the whole ABA thing too (if you take that route). Keep us posted!