Virus Scan Results: Hormonal Ransomware

WhiteFlight

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Meisha: Umbrella Cockatoo | Female | 03/09/1989 Hatch Date
We noticed the later part of February Meisha’s operating system was experiencing issues. Sluggish responses reflected taxed CPU usage. Something was robbing resources.

Observation scan results revealed Meisha was infected with a Hormonal Ransomeware. Her primary operating system subroutines were being rewritten with malicious default commands. Wireless network communications were often unresponsive. The command and unit program responses were abnormal resulting in illogical results.

Crypto ransomware was found on the operating hard drive in the OS route command. The malware was identified as Hormonal Behavior Syndromware. Perhaps the most dangerous type of ransomware, the malware restricts access to stored data and files. It encrypts the birds’s data and demands a ransom in exchange for the decryption key.

Operating symptoms included:
  • Sluggish performance: lethargic cognitive and physical processing.
  • Pitiful function v1: unit attached itself to side of a cage, performs a pitiful wing fluttering with inconsistent clasp activity. Beak clasped to cage bar with head rocking back and forth with stops.
  • Pitiful function v2: Panting, excessive.
  • Elevated fetish activity involving tight closed quarters, cabinets and drawers. All default normal programing is purged with the dominant command.
  • Excess hard drive chatter during designated sleep mode.
Create a decryption key and quarantine threat.

Restore network connections and original unit OS with the following commands:
  • AppleFileServer: >Elevate/Physical/Exercise
  • AssetCacheLocator Util: >Elevated/Sleep
  • BootCacheControl: >Unstable/Environment
  • DevToolsSecurity: ≠Block_Overwrite_Restrict/Prevent/Nesting/Drawer_&_Cabinet_Fedish_Access
  • DirectoryService: >Elevate/Hydration
  • FileStatsAgent: ≈Early_Detection
  • KernelEventAgent: >Elevate/Calcium/Safeguard
  • NetBootClientStatus: <Physical Contact/Handling
  • PasswordServices: =VoiceCommand/Pitiful_Function_v1/v2/STOP

Reinfection Threat Status Warning: HIGH!!!

Summary: Female / Hormonal behavioral issues with egg baring overtones can lead to egg bound status, the inability for an egg to be expelled in the normal manner, a life threatening condition.

Through experience driven preventive measures we have successfully thwarted another egg production.
 
Last edited:

Laurasea

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Love this!!!
Avoid fatty food prior to spring breeding season. Links to high fat foods induce reproductive response. Telling body resources are available for egg production...
 

noodles123

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Lol!! This is so "nerdy" (from a fellow nerd) and awesome. Well done :) haha! Love it!
 
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saxguy64

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Hahaha! Brilliant! Thanks for the giggle :)
 

SailBoat

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This will demand a change in my vantage point regarding Hormonal Ravages.
Although, from a 'Hot Three', Male, Amazon View Point!

Happily, for us, the season is diminishing.
 

saxguy64

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Patches the Grand Eclectus, my best friend. RIP
Cuckoo the BFA RIP
Hope the season diminishes soon. My guys have been really ummm... amorous. Not nitey or aggressive, just a little TOO affectionate. Ya know?
 

Ellie777Australia

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We noticed the later part of February Meisha’s operating system was experiencing issues. Sluggish responses reflected taxed CPU usage. Something was robbing resources.

Observation scan results revealed Meisha was infected with a Hormonal Ransomeware. Her primary operating system subroutines were being rewritten with malicious default commands. Wireless network communications were often unresponsive. The command and unit program responses were abnormal resulting in illogical results.

Crypto ransomware was found on the operating hard drive in the OS route command. The malware was identified as Hormonal Behavior Syndromware. Perhaps the most dangerous type of ransomware, the malware restricts access to stored data and files. It encrypts the birds’s data and demands a ransom in exchange for the decryption key.

Operating symptoms included:
  • Sluggish performance: lethargic cognitive and physical processing.
  • Pitiful function v1: unit attached itself to side of a cage, performs a pitiful wing fluttering with inconsistent clasp activity. Beak clasped to cage bar with head rocking back and forth with stops.
  • Pitiful function v2: Panting, excessive.
  • Elevated fetish activity involving tight closed quarters, cabinets and drawers. All default normal program is purged with the dominant command.
  • Excess hard drive chatter during designated sleep mode.
Create a decryption key and quarantine threat.

Restore network connections and original unit OS with the following commands:
  • AppleFileServer: >Elevate/Physical/Exercise
  • AssetCacheLocator Util: >Elevated/Sleep
  • BootCacheControl: >Unstable/Environment
  • DevToolsSecurity: ≠Block_Overwrite_Restrict/Prevent/Nesting/Drawer_&_Cabinet_Fedish_Access
  • DirectoryService: >Elevate/Hydration
  • FileStatsAgent: ≈Early_Detection
  • KernelEventAgent: >Elevate/Calcium/Safeguard
  • NetBootClientStatus: <Physical Contact/Handling
  • PasswordServices: =VoiceCommand/Pitiful_Function_v1/v2/STOP

Reinfection Threat Status Warning: HIGH!!!

Summary: Female / Hormonal behavioral issues with egg baring overtones can lead to egg bound status, the inability for an egg to be expelled in the normal manner, a life threatening condition.

Through experience driven preventive measures we have successfully thwarted another egg production.


You cracked me up. Brilliant (from another nerd as well as Noodles)!:D. My eyes are still watering and I'm trying not to pee in my pants LOL....
 
OP
WhiteFlight

WhiteFlight

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FrancisMom

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Being an ex-software engineer myself I was able to follow it all. I think my male unit is infected with similar ransomware! I'm doing a virus scan on some of the network connections. May have to "clean" some files.
 
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WhiteFlight

WhiteFlight

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Being an ex-software engineer myself I was able to follow it all. I think my male unit is infected with similar ransomware! I'm doing a virus scan on some of the network connections. May have to "clean" some files.

It's my understanding the Mle units are written with trinary code over the FeM binary. The provided decryption key is FeM specific. The Mle will require modified command code. Unfortunately I do not have a test mule available, will not be able to supply an alternative key.

If you hit a research snag, you might try searching for: decryption key services/ cryptolocker/victims.

Laughs!
 

wrench13

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LOL, all you IT guys! When I have a problem, i tell the IT Dept, "It was working great until it stopped, then it didn't work anymore".

But as a former code writer, great write up! Reminds me of that programmers joke:

C:
C: DOS
C: DOS/RUN
C: RUN/DOS/RUN

My stack overflows.
 
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WhiteFlight

WhiteFlight

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When I have a problem, i tell the IT Dept, "It was working great until it stopped, then it didn't work anymore".

But as a former code writer, great write up! Reminds me of that programmers joke:

C:
C: DOS
C: DOS/RUN
C: RUN/DOS/RUN

My stack overflows.

Hilarious!

Technology is great when it works. Especially hook-bill feather flight.
 

SailBoat

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I have a magnetic personality and as a result, computers tend to have problems when I am around them. I had always stayed clear of the server room as being too close could result in confusing problems for the IT staff! :D
 
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WhiteFlight

WhiteFlight

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I have a magnetic personality and as a result, computers tend to have problems when I am around them. I had always stayed clear of the server room as being too close could result in confusing problems for the IT staff! :D

What happens when you are in the wheel-house of cruise ship between Exotic Parrot Destinations comparing notes on hook-bill binary code?

List to port in a egg shaped flight plan? Attempting to stay on topic.
 
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SailBoat

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Jul 10, 2015
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Western, Michigan
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DYH Amazon
I have a magnetic personality and as a result, computers tend to have problems when I am around them. I had always stayed clear of the server room as being too close could result in confusing problems for the IT staff! :D

What happens when you are in the wheel-house of cruise ship between Exotic Parrot Destinations comparing notes on hook-bill binary code?

List to port in a egg shaped flight plan? Attempting to stay on topic.

Aaaa, you recall that cruise ship that got a bit too close to the rocky shoreline in the Med a few years ago???
 
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WhiteFlight

WhiteFlight

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Aaaa, you recall that cruise ship that got a bit too close to the rocky shoreline in the Med a few years ago???

Yes, the Costa Concordia. One of my most memorable cruises was on a sister ship. It was one of those trips that no matter what you do, everything was right. I will be posting a thread on the parrots encountered. Phenomenal.

Were you able to build some positive experiences on your cruise? Any parrots?
 

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