Not sure what to think

noblemacaw

New member
Sep 23, 2011
1,056
3
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Valentino - Red Fronted Macaw - Hatched August 12, 2012
For some reason I picked this section to put my thread. I think it is because I am grieving all over again and what I found out made me feel like someone sucker punched me in the stomach.

I can't even tell you why I checked the web site but the need to check it was niggling at me something fierce. I brought up Julio's rescue but at first I just checked in to what events and things the club/rescue was doing. I recognized some people in some of their event pictures but I was comforted by how much these people care about parrots and do so much to help them.

Then I went to the adoption page to look to see who was still there and who was new. It has been a LONG time since I have been to the site because after Lupe brought Julio back to them I just had to make that break. As I was looking I noticed JULIO IS BACK UP FOR ADOPTION!

He is listed as Julio/Sir John and they used the same picture as before when I went about adopting him. I know it was very very hard for Lupe to drive all the way back to Kansas to return him. The trip was very hard and for a long time Lupe didn't tell me much about what happened. She did tell me that she was told his first foster mom was thrilled to get him back and had decided to keep him. That is why I listed his status in my tag line because I was so happy the outcome ended up so well.

I feel like I am grieving all over again and cannot explain why. I now cannot bring myself to give up Valentino because he is MY parrot and I alone am responsible for his care, welfare, emotional well being and health. I will do what ever I can to be able to keep my beloved Valentino. I WISH so bad that I insisted I keep Julio as well. I just didn't know this would happen and was very very happy to learn foster mom was going to keep him as her daughter really loves Julio and they had a special bond. Now I feel so guilty for what has happened. Julio deserves a home and people to call his own, he deserves so much more. I am not sure what to think. Did Lupe lie to me? Did the rescue lie or rather shield the truth from Lupe of their true plans for Julio? Was she only told what she wanted to hear? Did Lupe tell me what I wanted to hear? It is very confusing and I have sat on knowing this for a while but of late I have been having dreams about all of this telling me it weighs heavily on my mind.

A part of me feels like a horrible person for not fighting to keep Julio harder. For not thinking up a solution or a way to be able to keep him. I feel guilty and sick to my stomach and my urge to contact them to get him back is very strong. I don't have the adoption fee, a way to drive down there (its 7 hours one way and I am narcoleptic) or the means to take back on Julio's care because he has to see the vet often for some health issues we were working on reversing.

I know I cannot just rush down to Kansas and get Julio. I know if I did that I would have trouble supporting him until I am back on my feet. I don't know if I am going to have to move out of state for a job or stay here in MN. I don't know a damn thing and I cannot help Julio.

One small comfort I have is the club/rescue has a lot of good people and I know Julio's needs are being taken care of. I think what bothers me the most is my inability to keep him with me and Valentino. They did give each other companionship when no one was home and both these birds did have a bond. I know Julio is not the only bird where he is at so he has other parrots for companionship and his needs are being met. I feel so badly that Julio does not have a home or people to call his own.

I feel very blessed for being a member of this form. The people here are very instrumental for understanding what I am and have gone thorough. No where else was the brutal truth told to me even if it was very painful for me to accept. This community I value to much it is only here when I can write things that I cannot speak to others in my support system about.

Thank you all for understanding where I am coming from, being very supportive, not holding back what needs to be said and most importantly for accepting me and knowing I am a parrot lover just like you all are.
 

goalerjones

Well-known member
Oct 24, 2011
1,390
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Hahn's macaw, RIP George, Jenday Conure
Well, it seems that a straight forward approach couldn't hurt. Call them or email them and ask. If you're concerned Lupe told you what you could bear to hear, let her know you're going to contact them. If she told you a version of the truth, then she can get it out before you call.
 

GW.Joe

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Nov 26, 2013
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Southeastern PA (15 miles west of Philly in a smal
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HI Fellow Parrot Lovers! Baby Green Wing Macaw, Loving Departed Yellow-naped Amazon "Poe"
Now I feel so guilty for what has happened

There is nothing you did to feel guilty about, giving him back was a MAJOR Unselfish sacrifice !!

I am not sure what to think. Did Lupe lie to me? Did the rescue lie or rather shield the truth from Lupe of their true plans for Julio? Was she only told what she wanted to hear? Did Lupe tell me what I wanted to hear? It is very confusing and I have sat on knowing this for a while but of late I have been having dreams about all of this telling me it weighs heavily on my mind.

I feel the same way, obviously someone lied OR something went very wrong
My head was spinning just reading this

COMPLETELY CRAZY!!

my urge to contact them to get him back is very strong. I don't have the adoption fee

Maybe I misunderstand but, WHY Would they want the fee AGAIN from you? sounds like this would be VERY Bad publicity for them (if the word got out)

If I can help you PLEASE PM me, We could talk about all the facts and do a conference call and GRILL them over the phone.....
 

sonja

New member
Jul 31, 2012
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I don't mean this to sound harsh, but as a rescuer myself, I would not give Julio back to you again. You already gave him up because you decided you couldn't care for him. So, putting him right back into the same situation would be an irresponsible move on the part of the rescue.
Who knows why he is available again. People change their minds, as you did when you returned him. He has been bounced around to multiple homes, so hopefully the rescue can find a home that will be his last.
Focus on keeping Valentino, and do your best for him. Taking on more when you are in a precarious state with what you already have would not be a responsible thing to do.

Oh, and as far as demanding an explanation from the rescue: They do not owe you an explanation. If you were friendly with someone there and they want to share what is going on, great, but to call and "grill" them and demand an explanation is out of line.
 

GW.Joe

New member
Nov 26, 2013
1,159
0
Southeastern PA (15 miles west of Philly in a smal
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HI Fellow Parrot Lovers! Baby Green Wing Macaw, Loving Departed Yellow-naped Amazon "Poe"
I don't mean this to sound harsh, but as a rescuer myself, I would not give Julio back to you again. You already gave him up because you decided you couldn't care for him. So, putting him right back into the same situation would be an irresponsible move on the part of the rescue.
Who knows why he is available again. People change their minds, as you did when you returned him. He has been bounced around to multiple homes, so hopefully the rescue can find a home that will be his last.
Focus on keeping Valentino, and do your best for him. Taking on more when you are in a precarious state with what you already have would not be a responsible thing to do.

Oh, and as far as demanding an explanation from the rescue: They do not owe you an explanation. If you were friendly with someone there and they want to share what is going on, great, but to call and "grill" them and demand an explanation is out of line.

I thought the bird was given back because original owner changed their mind?

Joe
 

goalerjones

Well-known member
Oct 24, 2011
1,390
30
Parrots
Hahn's macaw, RIP George, Jenday Conure
Remember, the more speculation you do the more soap opera you will have to endure. Ask the questions, get the answers.
 
OP
noblemacaw

noblemacaw

New member
Sep 23, 2011
1,056
3
Parrots
Valentino - Red Fronted Macaw - Hatched August 12, 2012
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I have had time to really think about what I have learned and to discuss what had happened.

I know I can not get Julio back. I had to come to terms with this myself and because I know this rescue is a very good one I know Julio is in good hands no matter who is fostering him. It might not be his original foster mom but who ever has him is taking care of him well. I do feel bad because I adopted this parrot to be his forever home. He has been in their rescue since 2009 and Julio deserves a home of his own.

The decision my Ex made to take Julio back to the rescue involved so many factors. The new partner does not like animals kept in the house, where the Ex is moving the owner of the house has two cats that hunt and Julio would have to be shut up in a little bedroom all day and all night long. I wanted to take him myself but right now I cannot afford the vet care for two birds. I was taking in Julio every six month for vet care and some more work needed to be done to diagnose or rule out more problems. At 10 years old Julio does not have the problems my Noble macaw Mihijo had so in that respect Julio is healthier than my Noble macaw was. Even if the rescue does not follow up with what our vet wanted to do I think Julio is still a healthy parrot for his age. He is plucked but his blood work numbers are in the normal range which is good news.

Because I wanted to make sure I actually knew what happened and what is going on I contacted the person in the rescue I was in contact with before we adopted Julio. My Ex does not know I did this but I had to contact the rescue for my piece of mind. I did tell her why I reached out and my view of what happened and why the decision was made to return him in my knowledge. Of course the stories didn't line up and now that I know actually what happened I am at more peace with what happened.

I guess what had me most upset is I feel like I had failed Julio. I feel like I should of insisted that Julio stay with Valentino and I but instead conceded to what my Ex wanted. I am the one that has to live with that but at least I know Julio is going to be alright and well taken care of.

I am more at peace than I was when I found out Julio was back up for adoption. Thank you for understanding why I felt the way I did and why I had to grieve all over again Julio being taken away from me back to the rescue.
 

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