Stunned, heartbroken, terrified

We lost another baby budgie last night, and I have no idea why. I have been offering formula once a day, sometimes one or two of the babies want it, but more often than not it is only the youngest baby. Yesterday I fed in the morning and all the babies were fine. At noon they were still fine, at supper everyone looked normal, everyone seemed to be eating the seeds an pellets. At 8pm I checked on them and found a dead baby. He is fully feathered and learning to fly, the second youngest of them all. I picked him up only to discover he was not quite gone yet. I tried to feed him to no avail. I wrapped him in a shirt and held him. There are no avain vets close by, the nearest one has been nothing but dodgy when I call them and they are 2 hours away anyway. I am torn because I feel guilt for not rushing him to the vet, but I still know that he would not have survived the trip, as he dies about 20 minutes later. I feel guilt for not taking them all to the vet already, but when I made the choice to rescue them, I knew I could not afford to vet them all, and I knew they needed saving. No one else was going to save them, and I left hundreds there to die anyway. I am the first one to say "if you can't afford the vet you can't afford the pet" but these needed saving, and I knew from the beginning I couldnt afford to vet them without spending the money I need to have on hand for my own flock. Knowing that all of these babies would most likely be dead if I had left them doesn't seem to help at all.

On top of it all I am terrified. This bird was FINE. We lost Malulani, but we had been struggling to save her for over a week, it was expected that she would not live, we were prepared. These babies are still under strict quarantine, and we are waiting on test results for Polyoma and Psittacosis on several of them.

Many people told me this whole rescue mission would end in heartbreak, and even without their warnings I knew that, but I couldnt leave them there, covered in feces, deformed, crowded...Now I am paying the price I guess - the emotional price. Amjokai and I have paid hundreds of dollars already trying to save them. Right now 7 adults and 6 babies are still alive - 13 alive out of the 18 we rescued.

I'm so sorry, Silversage! Those birdies DID need saving, and you are trying your best. I hope the budgie's test results come out negative. We're here for you!

Thank you. I have to say that I don't know what I would do without this forum. I do have a couple of friends who care now, but honestly most people in my life just dont understand why I care so much about them when they are "just birds" and even some bird people think of them as "just budgies"

I'm sorry. Take heart in the fact that these guys were rescued from a horrible situation by someone who truly cared. They may not have been here long but at least they went knowing that there are still caring people in the world.

I'm so sorry. Baby birds are so fragile.

Thank you. I am watching the others like a hawk. I keep feeling like next time I walk into the room I will find a dead one. I have lost birds before, but these are more emotional for me.

I'm very sorry you lost another of the special birds you've tried so hard to help. It's emotionally draining to be caught up in a difficult situation when innocent beings are involved. Please try to remember you didn't create the situation, so much damage was done before you found these desperate birds. I commend you for taking on so much responsibility, I know it's impossible not to take each loss personally, but try to keep in mind all the positive ways you've already changed their lives and futures. While you are fighting so hard for them, try to take care of yourself too, and know that so many of us genuinely care how this turns out. You are in my thoughts.

I'm so sorry,


Just remember, they lived out their last days with good food, clean water, and love. Nothing is worth more. The budgie would've preferred to go with you than stay in the disgusting place it was left, because he at least got some wonderful care before he left this earth.


I hope everyone else is fine.

How are you keeping them strictly quarantined????

Aww..I'm so sorry. You can't feel guilty..you did and are doing all you can! You didn't do them harm, their previous home did. If you can save even one of them it will be worth it and you are their angel!

I am so sorry for your loss You both have done so much to save those poor birds and have improved their lives drastically. At least those poor babies that didn't make it did not die hungry, laying in their own waste. You showed them love and kindness, which is the greatest gift that can be given. I am praying that this will be the end of the losses, and that the rest will live long and happy lives.

I'm so sorry to hear this but do not beat yourself up. I point out from your post:

"Many people told me this whole rescue mission would end in heartbreak, and even without their warnings I knew that, but I couldnt leave them there, covered in feces, deformed, crowded...Now I am paying the price I guess - the emotional price. Amjokai and I have paid hundreds of dollars already trying to save them. Right now 7 adults and 6 babies are still alive - 13 alive out of the 18 we rescued."

It sounds like you set an expectation of saving these babies, but remember that section I pasted in. It is not your fault, as others have pointed out you improved their quality of life and they were all living in conditions where they were exposed to so many elements that increased their chances of getting sick and dying. Unfortunately someone else already laid the groundwork to make them sick. Feeling guilty about the vet? Don't feel guilty, we all have to make decisions and given the fact that vet is "dodgy", IMO I completely understand your reasoning and I agree and support your decision.

Remember that there will be times things occur out of your control and you can only control some things which in this case you did. In your heart you wanted to save them all but the reality is, it was already out of a point you could control it, but you did do what you could which speaks volumes!!! And you have babies still needing love but be prepared, I hate to say this others could be impacted by what someone else already laid down. Hugs! Don't beat yourself up, oh and don't forget, don't beat yourself up!!!

Thanks everyone. MikeyTN, they are currently at amkokai's house, on a different floor than her birds and dog live, in a bathroom. She is out of town, and I am at her house 4-6 times a day, though her dog and Eclectus are with me in my home. We shower, wash our hair, scrape out from under our finger nails, and change our clothes after handling them.

I'm so sorry. (((hugs)))

The budgies are very blessed to have you.

SilverSage said:

Thanks everyone. MikeyTN, they are currently at amkokai's house, on a different floor than her birds and dog live, in a bathroom. She is out of town, and I am at her house 4-6 times a day, though her dog and Eclectus are with me in my home. We shower, wash our hair, scrape out from under our finger nails, and change our clothes after handling them.

Click to expand...

The only sure way to really properly quarantine is in a completely separate building with separate air system if there's any.

Yes, right now they are, because amjokai's pets are at my house and the budgies are in her house. She is gone for the month. When she is home they are in the same house, but the vents are closed and the window to the room is open - her pets live on a different floor of the house. It is the best we can do, neither of us has barns or guest houses.

Just be cautious! Even with the vents off, the air still passes through underneath door ways and such. Hopefully you guys find out exactly what is wrong with the sick ones before month's end.

We should know by the end of the week. I really wish we had a separate building for quarantine, but right now this is all we have.

SS, you're doing a great job while im gone.... and we did the best we could while we were working together.... <3