This is a reflective story and happened a few years ago during my childhood. I am typing this just to release it a bit. I have to tell this story every now and again to get it our of my system.
It started when I was young, and it was a rough beginning to parrot ownership for me. Bindee was a pied cockatiel, and he was a great first bird. I doted on him and taught him a variety of tricks. He whistled the Andy Griffith tune, the star-wars tune, he imitated the northern cardinal and the bobwhite, he imitated a woodpecker by hitting his beak on a surface and saying 'woodpecker'...he also said 'cardinal'.
He also sung the song to a Portuguese folk dance called the 'bato pe' and would sing the song while bobbing his head to the beat that HE created. He was such a delight and took up a large space in my heart.
I took Bindee everywhere with me. At parties he was the center of attention. Kids from school who did projects with me would tell everyone else about him because he won everyone over. That little bird had the biggest heart of anyone I had ever known, and he opened up my lonely life to new people.
I never had friends with me growing up and dealt with depression during those rough childhood years, so Bindee was an awesome therapy. He was the light of my life.
One thing I remember in particular is when I was crying on my bed over something I don't remember. Bindee, seeing me cry, climbed up my leg, up my shirt, onto my shoulder, looked me in my face, and then licked my tear.
It made me giggle because after he tasted the tear, he shook his head in disgust. It completely transformed my personal progress and made me realize how rich life is...the good AND the bad. Something as silly as Bindee licking my tear has rendered the reason for my crying so absurd that I don't even remember why I had been crying in the first place!
I lost Bindee, who was much too young, to an accident that was totally and completely my fault. It was December 21, and that day will for the rest of my life be a day that I regret and feel guilt over. No matter what people say.
However, I will not apologize for not having him clipped. And the reason for that is because the two times that I clipped him, he would stop singing and completely shut down. And I would not accept that for him. So he flied around the house freely and followed me everywhere (in flight).
On that terrible day, December 21, Bindee was with me as usual, on my shoulder, and I remember telling him that day "I will never take you for granted." I have no idea why I said it, but I did. Somehow, I felt the need to reflect on Bindee and what he meant to me. That was literally a half-hour before the tragedy.
A half-hour later, my mother called me to go get the mail. Bindee was so small and light, and quiet, I completely forgot that he was on my shoulder.
It was the day after the biggest blizzard that year, and the temperature was in the teens. I got up after grumbling to go get the mail, walked outside, and then suddenly realized Bindee was on my shoulder. It all happened so fast. The moment I realized my mistake, the door closed behind me and spooked him. He flew.
He circled around me, trying to land on me again, but there was wind! The wind, to my utter horror, carried him away. He was fighting the wind, flying against it with all his might as he called back to me. I screamed and ran after him, tearing through the snow while he disappeared from sight. Bindee was calling back to me, and we were making contact calls.
My mother, hearing me scream, ran outside. She helped me look. For twenty minutes, I heard Bindee whistling back, and no matter what I did, I could not close in on where he was. I went into neighbor's backyards without any concern.
When Bindee stopped calling back twenty minutes later, I collapsed on the street screaming "I killed him!" as my mother tried to console me. But I would not have it. I was inconsolable. I was screaming and crying, curled up in a ball.
My mother had me on 'suicide' watch for the next few days[not that I showed that tendency, but that was her way of saying how crushed I was]. I remember completely shutting down, not wanting to talk to anyone. We left his cage outside so that if he came back he would find it. We left out flyers. I emailed countless people. Called every place I could think of. We tried everything, but never found him.
For months, I would sit on my front step and make the contact call, but I heard nothing in return. And even when I was not there, I would leave a recording of myself making the contact call, hoping on some dim hope that he would come back.
I never found Bindee, and to this day it bothers me. I have had nightmares about what could have happened to him. Did he freeze to death? Did a predator get him? Did he get lost and die of starvation?
I don't know. My depression is gone and I am a much more lively go-getter nowadays, but I still have Bindee's favorite mirror with me.
On big exams and on big trips, I take his mirror with me to remind me to relish every moment and to live life to the fullest, just as he did.
Even all these years later, as I type this, I cry over that beautiful, pure little bird.
R.I.P Bindee. I pray one day, we will find closure. Still praying for your return!
It started when I was young, and it was a rough beginning to parrot ownership for me. Bindee was a pied cockatiel, and he was a great first bird. I doted on him and taught him a variety of tricks. He whistled the Andy Griffith tune, the star-wars tune, he imitated the northern cardinal and the bobwhite, he imitated a woodpecker by hitting his beak on a surface and saying 'woodpecker'...he also said 'cardinal'.
He also sung the song to a Portuguese folk dance called the 'bato pe' and would sing the song while bobbing his head to the beat that HE created. He was such a delight and took up a large space in my heart.
I took Bindee everywhere with me. At parties he was the center of attention. Kids from school who did projects with me would tell everyone else about him because he won everyone over. That little bird had the biggest heart of anyone I had ever known, and he opened up my lonely life to new people.
I never had friends with me growing up and dealt with depression during those rough childhood years, so Bindee was an awesome therapy. He was the light of my life.
One thing I remember in particular is when I was crying on my bed over something I don't remember. Bindee, seeing me cry, climbed up my leg, up my shirt, onto my shoulder, looked me in my face, and then licked my tear.
It made me giggle because after he tasted the tear, he shook his head in disgust. It completely transformed my personal progress and made me realize how rich life is...the good AND the bad. Something as silly as Bindee licking my tear has rendered the reason for my crying so absurd that I don't even remember why I had been crying in the first place!
I lost Bindee, who was much too young, to an accident that was totally and completely my fault. It was December 21, and that day will for the rest of my life be a day that I regret and feel guilt over. No matter what people say.
However, I will not apologize for not having him clipped. And the reason for that is because the two times that I clipped him, he would stop singing and completely shut down. And I would not accept that for him. So he flied around the house freely and followed me everywhere (in flight).
On that terrible day, December 21, Bindee was with me as usual, on my shoulder, and I remember telling him that day "I will never take you for granted." I have no idea why I said it, but I did. Somehow, I felt the need to reflect on Bindee and what he meant to me. That was literally a half-hour before the tragedy.
A half-hour later, my mother called me to go get the mail. Bindee was so small and light, and quiet, I completely forgot that he was on my shoulder.
It was the day after the biggest blizzard that year, and the temperature was in the teens. I got up after grumbling to go get the mail, walked outside, and then suddenly realized Bindee was on my shoulder. It all happened so fast. The moment I realized my mistake, the door closed behind me and spooked him. He flew.
He circled around me, trying to land on me again, but there was wind! The wind, to my utter horror, carried him away. He was fighting the wind, flying against it with all his might as he called back to me. I screamed and ran after him, tearing through the snow while he disappeared from sight. Bindee was calling back to me, and we were making contact calls.
My mother, hearing me scream, ran outside. She helped me look. For twenty minutes, I heard Bindee whistling back, and no matter what I did, I could not close in on where he was. I went into neighbor's backyards without any concern.
When Bindee stopped calling back twenty minutes later, I collapsed on the street screaming "I killed him!" as my mother tried to console me. But I would not have it. I was inconsolable. I was screaming and crying, curled up in a ball.
My mother had me on 'suicide' watch for the next few days[not that I showed that tendency, but that was her way of saying how crushed I was]. I remember completely shutting down, not wanting to talk to anyone. We left his cage outside so that if he came back he would find it. We left out flyers. I emailed countless people. Called every place I could think of. We tried everything, but never found him.
For months, I would sit on my front step and make the contact call, but I heard nothing in return. And even when I was not there, I would leave a recording of myself making the contact call, hoping on some dim hope that he would come back.
I never found Bindee, and to this day it bothers me. I have had nightmares about what could have happened to him. Did he freeze to death? Did a predator get him? Did he get lost and die of starvation?
I don't know. My depression is gone and I am a much more lively go-getter nowadays, but I still have Bindee's favorite mirror with me.
On big exams and on big trips, I take his mirror with me to remind me to relish every moment and to live life to the fullest, just as he did.
Even all these years later, as I type this, I cry over that beautiful, pure little bird.
R.I.P Bindee. I pray one day, we will find closure. Still praying for your return!
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