Rest In Peace, Sylvester

Last Wednesday, I was getting ready for my drive to school and Sylvester, my cockatiel, was chirping up a storm demanding attention.
I love him to bits, but that morning I was already running late. I put him on my mom's shoulder as I sometimes do, and continued getting ready for school.

The next thing I knew, my mom was screaming "SYLVESTER" out the front door. She'd opened the front door while he was sitting on her shoulder to investigate a strange sound she heard, but something scared my bird (the sound, again?), and he jumped. I wasn't anywhere in sight or he most likely would have flown to me, because he usually doesn't take his eyes off me if I'm not the one beneath his talons. I ran downstairs and outside and in the general direction of the wind as fast as I could, but the wind was so strong, and it was so cold, and he was nowhere to be seen. I screamed so loud. I couldn't stop crying. At the time, I couldn't fathom how someone could be so stupid.

It's been 7 days since he's gone. We put up several Lost Bird listings and notified as many animal rescues and hospitals and Facebook groups as possible, especially ones focusing on areas that the wind might have taken him. Since then, it's been below freezing most nights and in the past two days, it's snowed 10 inches. My hopes of getting him back are... minimal. And we were just starting to really get him on a pelleted diet. I was so excited for him. And now he's gone.

I've forgiven my mom (who, based on how cold she is with me, still hasn't forgiven herself), but I'm still having such a difficult time coping... I've had parakeets in the past, but they were from PetCo. Not that I didn't love them, but the PetCo near us doesn't handle their birds, so their parakeets were rather disinterested in us humans.

My years with Sylvester, however, have been some of the best years of my life. Birds that are raised properly are capable of showing so much affection towards their human companions. And when you adopt them at such a young age and have the privilege of watching them grow, there's just that much more attachment on your end, as a bird parent. I never thought I would love a bird this much before Sylvester. He brought me so much joy. He was such a silly little guy and he loved to have so much fun. I loved him from the very moment I met him in September when he was just over two months old. And as time went on, my love for him just grew stronger. I would spend hours upon hours with this bird. If he wasn't cuddling with me or playing with my hair, he was sitting on my shoulder and telling me all sorts of bird stories. He liked to mimic running water, and the piano, and the microwave. Mornings, he would be so excited to be freed from his cage, and he would greet me with kisses...

There are some days when I think, "surely someone's found him by now." Other days are more like, "there's no way he could survive this. Not with this weather." Some days I just look at his pictures or watch videos of us together. I miss him so much. I just don't know what to do or how to cope.

There are no more birds in this house, and the silence is sickening. At least once a day, I'll look over to his cage eager to take him out and spend time with him because, just for a moment, I forgot he wasn't there. One of the very difficult things about losing a bird is not having closure. I never know if I should stay hopeful or accept this very difficult loss.
I've begun to realize that I need a bird in my life. Since about yesterday, I've been considering looking into options for getting another cockatiel in a couple of months. But I can't just "replace" Sylvester. I feel guilty even thinking about adopting another sweet baby birds. Those of you who have lost will understand this feeling, I'm sure. There's just so much pain. And I just don't know how to cope.

Sylvester would have been 4 years old on June 26th. Just 4 years old...

Attached are two pictures: One of Sylvester as a baby (taken the first day I got him), and one of him as an adult (a few years later).


EDIT:
I joined these forums mainly to ask about a behavioral issue I was having with Sylvester several months ago. Sylvester would usually kiss me in the morning, but instead, I was being met with hostility. I was mostly concerned that he might be sick. I never updated the thread, but if anyone's interested, the issue didn't last long. After a few weeks, everything was back to normal and he was as sweet as can be, even trusting me more than ever.

I am so sorry for Sylvester! In your mom's defense, very easy error! I lock all doors even when I am home alone, to give me pause!

I'm so sorry to read this. If someone did find Sylvester he is ok ... Did you put a note on Petfinder, parrot911, I might not have those names right...and call or send flyers to all the vets in the area. If someone has him, they won't know how to find you. If I found a bird in the old days, I would have called the local animal control/shelter and maybe put something on Craigslist. Now I would try harder to find the owner because I know how devastating it is to lose an avian companion. Don't give up just yet.

Kentuckienne said:

I'm so sorry to read this. If someone did find Sylvester he is ok ... Did you put a note on Petfinder, parrot911, I might not have those names right...and call or send flyers to all the vets in the area. If someone has him, they won't know how to find you. If I found a bird in the old days, I would have called the local animal control/shelter and maybe put something on Craigslist. Now I would try harder to find the owner because I know how devastating it is to lose an avian companion. Don't give up just yet.

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I put a note on Facebook groups as well as websites like 911ParrotAlert, The Missing Pet Network, Petkey, Craigslist, etc. We put fliers up in the library and in a bunch of pet stores, but most private businesses don't want fliers up on their windows. We sent fliers to some fo the vets and called to notify others, mainly so that if someone reports that they've found a cockatiel, they know who to contact.

I don't know, it's so cold. There's about 6 inches of snow still on the ground. If someone hasn't found him by now, I really don't think he could have survived this weather.

I am so sorry to hear this. Where do you live? We also had roughly 10 inches of snow here in Iowa a couple days ago, and it's been mighty cold, still have about 4-5 inches in areas that aren't plowed. Keeping you and Sylvester in my thoughts today.

So very sorry.
I can sense how your heart aches.
Thanks for sharing and reaching out to people who really understand and are gratified to support you.

Hugs. I'm so sorry. Here's hoping for a miracle and Sylvester returns to you soon.

itzjbean said:

I am so sorry to hear this. Where do you live? We also had roughly 10 inches of snow here in Iowa a couple days ago, and it's been mighty cold, still have about 4-5 inches in areas that aren't plowed. Keeping you and Sylvester in my thoughts today.

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I live in the suburbs just north of Chicago, Illinois.
Thank you so much

BeatriceC said:

Hugs. I'm so sorry. Here's hoping for a miracle and Sylvester returns to you soon.

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I don't know. It really doesn't seem likely, but thank you.

Oh I'm so so sorry...

I am very sorry you have lost Sylvester. Your grief lacks a focal point because you don't have the closure of a passing, yet the human spirit is capable of great hope. There is always a chance Sylvester was rescued, and I would encourage you to pursue every reasonable avenue to preclude future regret.

Your heartfelt post illustrates how deep the mutual bond was with Sylvester.

Maybe someone has Sylvester, likes him and just doesn't want to give him back. If that's the case, hopefully they will change their mind.

That almost happened to me. My parakeet went out accidentally and was chased away by a hummingbird. After he was gone a week I did finally get a call from someone that had him. They probably would have kept him as a companion for their bird except he had a chronic cough (he was already 9 years old) and they probably figured he wouldn't last long anyway. I got him back and he lived to the ripe old age of 13 years!

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Hope he found some short of shelter or new home and he will be back to you. I was saying that's it, he's gone from me the afternoon my CAG flew from the cage on the deck over two houses. Luckily there were kids playing in a yard and he landed by them. Saying a prayer for the return of Sylvester.

Just to give you a bit of hope I'll tell you what's going on here in central Pennsylvania right now with a lost cockatiel. This story is an amazing one, not only because of the bird but because of the way I got involved with a neighbor I didn't know I had.

The first week of December I was on my local Craigslist, in the Community Pet section, looking for aquarium/terrarium equipment for my bearded dragon. I live in State College, PA (Penn State University) and for whatever reason there are never many pet things for sale here in State College, but there are tons in the surrounding cities/towns like Altoona, Harrisburg, York, Lancaster, etc. But I always start locally in State College and move outward. That day there was an ad for a lost cockatiel that had escaped at an intersection about 2 blocks away from my house. It had disappeared the last week of November. Now this was a good two weeks or more after the cockatiel had escaped, but I suddenly couldn't breathe. A day earlier a friend of mine came over to my house to practice guitar and write a bit, as he often does probably once a week. This day he pulled in my driveway but he left his car running and his door open, ran to my front door, and nearly fell flat on his face (we had just had a huge snowstorm that dropped about 6 inches locally). I was shoveling my steps off when he frantically pulled in and came running, yelling "I just saw a cockatiel up the street in your neighbor's yard!" He said he got to the stop sign at the top of my street, stopped, started turning right onto my street, and there was a patch of grass in the yard of the house on the corner that had no snow, and there stood a cockatiel in that little patch of grass. He said he was going to go back up, so I jumped in his car and we got back up to the house where he saw the bird (5 houses up the street from my house), probably a minute or so had passed since he had seen the bird. We got there and he pulled his car over, we got out and he pointed to the patch of grass with no snow where he saw the bird standing, but no bird. I was skeptical, but sure enough there were two lines of little bird feet tracks in the snow around the grass, coming from across the street. I hadn't realized this but every single house on the opposite side of the road, leading down to my house, had full bird feeders hanging from either trees or a post of some kind, and all had a ton of seeds on the ground below in the snow. So whatever bird it was that he saw was feeding. I figured it was a bird he saw but not a cockatiel, but I called a bit, wolf whistling and such, just to see if I could get a response. Nothing. So we went home.

The next day I saw the ad for the list cockatiel and I freaked out, what a coincidence, if it was just a coincidence. I didn't want to give false hope to the owner, but then I thought if I didn't tell them it wouldn't be right either. So I texted the owner using the cell number in the Craigslist ad, and this amazingly kind, living, sad woman responded. She was only a couple of years younger than me, in her early thirties, and she actually had a house that is in a weird area and hard to describe, but basically she is like a 10 minute walk away from my house by the way the crow flies. I live in a horseshoe shaped development built in the late 70's and early 80's, and beside and behind it are farms, fields, and patches of forest that remained from stripping. I had actually lost my pug overnight a few years earlier, he took off through a pig farm, a corn field, and ended up near this woman's house. The intersection she lost her cockatiel from was just below her house out on the main highway, Rt. 26 East. She was devastated and she and her boyfriend who she lives with had done everything they possibly could and we're still searching every night. Her cockatiel was named Zeno, and she had rescued him from a very abusive home years prior. He was beaten. He was neglected. And he was terrified of people. She spent years working with him every single day, had gotten him through a serious surgery and treatments afterwards to remove a tumor and treat cancer (while he was terrified), and he was now a wonderful, loving, tame part of her family along with her green cheek conure. So she was devastated when he had escaped out the car window at an intersection a block away from her house after a vet appointment...There is a Walmart/Sam's Club shopping plaza on the other side of my development, about a 10 minute walk or a 2 minute drive away. There is also a Bed, Bath, and Beyond, a Ross, and a strip of other little stores in the plaza. This woman works at one of those stores, and the back of the strip of stores faces my development, with a huge area of stripped out forest between. This is important to know in a minute...

So that day I was texting her back and forth she sent her boyfriend who was off work to come and drive around my development to call for Zeno. I told her I was off work that day as well and I could go on foot looking for him in the fields and forest that separates our houses. She couldn't believe I would want to help, but of course I wanted to help. She was just in hysterical tears because SHE WAS SURE HER COCKATIEL WAS DEAD, AS IT WAS DECEMBER IN PENNSYLVANIA AND WE HAD JUST HAD A HUGE SNOW! So I had given her hope again. I told her that birds are very tough, they instinctively know how to find places to get shelter from the weather, they get up into eaves and against buildings for warmth, and they find bird feeders, thrown out food, etc. No problem with water with all the snow. So even though the weather was awful he had easily survived. You need to remember this as well, especially due to your recent snow storm.

I spent that day searching, as well as many days from that point on. I had called Zeno several times and swore I could hear him call back, but I never saw him. I put an unused cage filled with bright colored toys, lots of food, and tons of millet sprays in and on top of it in my front yard (it's still there today, lol) for Zeno to hopefully see. My neighbor across the street who calls the township/police on me at least once a month for something (no joke, she's like 32 years old, doesn't work, and trims her grass edges on her hands and knees with a ruler and scissors) had an aneurysm about the cage and called the State Police on me about it when the township and local police wouldn't do anything about it...That's another story (and a good one). So fast forward to 3 weeks ago, when the entire Northeast got nailed with the largest snowstorm we've had all year. State College usually gets less snow than any other neighboring towns because we're in a huge, deep valley (Happy Valley, remember...Yeah right 😎), but this past time we got over a foot, I got almost 2 feet where I'm at, on top of Mount Nittany. The cockatiel owner still hadn't found him, Zeno had been missing since November and it was now March, and we had gotten 2 feet of snow and temperatures down in the single digits. She was sure he was dead. I told her that it was more likely that someone had found him and just decided to keep him, or didn't know anyone was looking for him (though her ads were everywhere). Then she texted me to let me know that a co-worker of hers had spotted a cockatiel out back of the store she works at! He was traveling with a flock of sparrows and he stuck out like a sore thumb! The flick took off together when she had walked out back to have a cigarette. Later that day a customer walked in the store and said that there was a cockatiel out in the parking lot with a bunch of sparrows! So she flew into work to see if she could call to Zeno and get him to come to her, but this flock of sparrows was huge and was frightened when cars drove past. She actually saw him for the first time since she lost him in November, and it was in fact confirmed to be Zeno! But he was traveling with these sparrows and wouldn't separate from them. She was asking me for advice and we brainstormed a bit. She and her colleagues are spreading his bird seed and pellets out back of their store because they seem to be living in the stripped out forest behind the shopping plaza. I went hiking up through there a few times, it's tough because Walmart is up on top of a cliff, as they usually are, and so is the rest of the plaza, but then behind the plaza there is a huge drop off down into what's left of the trees, along with rock pits and stripping areas stacked with logs. This area is level with the road behind the shopping plaza that leads to my house, so I get into it that way there are sparrows everywhere. So many of them, but they all seem like one big flock.

Last week we all noticed that the sparrow flock (or multiple flocks) have been scavenging in the shopping plaza parking lot, which is huge. But there is an area at the very end of the front of Walmart, on the side nearest her store and the woods, that they keep a mass of spare shopping carts all pushed together and they are against the building. The sparrows have taken over this little spot and are on top of, underneath, and inside of all of these shopping carts. And so is Zeno! He just refuses to come to anyone, and by the time she is called and she gets there he has already been scared away...So it's a work in progress, but she knows he's alive, and she is now actively trying to get him to come to her. Walmart sucks and doesn't care about her cockatiel, they care more about the birds pooping on their carts I think. They won't allow his cage to be placed there, I asked a manager a while ago after explaining the situation and how crazy it is that this bird is here after going through so much, but he didn't care at all and actually made it harder for me to just look for Zeno on their property. I'm soliciting or trespassing or whatever he said, I stopped paying attention.

But he's alive and has survived!

"Dance like nobody's watching..."

Sorry for the terribly long post, but it's a really similar, current example of how a cockatiel can survive snowstorms and freezing temps.

"Dance like nobody's watching..."

Don't budgies experience very cold temperatures for a few hours at night? I'm hoping and praying for Sylvester's return. Thanks for that story, Ellen.

Oh Soul, I'm so sorry for you. And Sylvester. I'm glad you've forgiven your mother, although I can definitely understand why she hasn't forgiven herself. While I read your post I cried, knowing how hard it is to lose a fid to illness, but to have no closure is clearly heart breaking. My heart truly aches for you and your mother, and I can offer my prayers for Sylvester, may he find his way home soon, and be ok.

This is my first post on this forum, and actually why I've joined. I just had to respond and let you know that I'm thinking of you all, and that you're not alone. Please let me know if you ever need to chat.

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