apprehension after loss

LordTriggs · Jun 13, 2017

so in an earlier thread I spoke about how I lost my Conure Rio about a month and a half ago and was hoping to find another Conure to look after

today I was going to call a rescue to get put on the list for adopting an appropriate conure but I didn't call. I had all these feelings of anxiety wash over me. The biggest one was about conures mating season and fame for being biters during this time.

I'm not sure if it's me just worrying about being bitten, about having an angry frustrated bird in the house, the potential for it to scream non-stop or what but I'm having real doubts about a new bird. There's even a little baby Green Cheek not too far from me who's weaning right now but who so far has no home to go to that my heart is screaming at me to go see, but at the same time I have all these new doubts in my head leaving me feeling lost and unsure of everything around me

plumsmum2005 · Jun 13, 2017

It could be you are just not mentally ready to accept and welcome a new feathered baby just yet. Don't push it, you will know when the time is right. There is no harm in being around birds, it could help heal the sense of loss.

LordTriggs · Jun 13, 2017

I'm definitely still feeling the loss. I was looking for a form I needed earlier and came across his favourite ball a bit ago and broke down into tears. I keep feeling like I shouldn't feel upset as I've now mourned him for more time than I knew him, but all I can think is I want my sweet little guy back

plumsmum2005 · Jun 13, 2017

I am so sorry and it would not be fair to bring another into your home just yet. They sense and feel our emotions and that would not be a good starting place to begin a relationship IMO. Take the time you need there is no rush and I am a strong believer in fate.

Inger · Jun 13, 2017

Time takes time. Do what feels right when it feels right. Go see the baby GCC - no harm in it, and remember it's ok to say no if it doesn't feel right or you aren't ready. At least that way you've started a relationship with a breeder when the time comes.

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Katu · Jun 13, 2017

I agree, it would do no harm to visit birds if you're okay saying no to the owner/breeder. You may discover that it's definitely too soon, or you may find that you are invigorated by the idea. No way to tell yet. It's too bad that it's so hard for you to find birds around where you live. I have the opposite problem in a way. I am definitely hesitant for many of the same reasons you are, but there seems to be an unending supply of birds around me. Kind of sad in a way--how can there be enough good homes for them. Take care. I've been following your story with interest.

T00tsyd · Jun 13, 2017

Grief is such an individual thing so do give yourself time. Having said that your new little one will blow you off your feet all over again, but, you need to know that you are ready. It would be unfair to burden your new pet with you worries and fears.

Lacewing · Jun 13, 2017

Can you do volunteer work with birds?

Scott · Jun 13, 2017

LordTriggs said:
I'm definitely still feeling the loss. I was looking for a form I needed earlier and came across his favourite ball a bit ago and broke down into tears. I keep feeling like I shouldn't feel upset as I've now mourned him for more time than I knew him, but all I can think is I want my sweet little guy back

There are no rules for grieving and the process is uneven. You'll feel good some days, merely OK others, and some will be rotten. It is good you kept his favourite ball as it will eventually bring calmness and good remembrances. That you felt upset is part of the process, so allow yourself to grieve. Sometimes it is helpful to discuss your feelings with others who best understand such loss. Trust me, you are in the company of many on this forum who totally understand and have lost multiple beloved companion birds.

apprehension after loss

LordTriggs

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plumsmum2005

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LordTriggs

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Inger

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Scott

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What happened to Taca?

I think today is goodbye

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