Guilt/Shock/Sadness

Crash_Davis · Aug 20, 2018

The combined emotion of suddenly losing a bird. My 4 year old Sun died Sunday evening. He was fine on Saturday, on Sunday morning when I uncovered his cage he was on the bottom and showing all symptoms of dire situation you read about.

I buried him today without answers other than reasoning "it was his time". I have NO IDEA what happened to him. It makes me sick, makes me feel bad I didn't recognize any issues. Guilty feeling because I didn't do enough obviously. Mostly shock because of the suddenness of it all. Feel for anyone who has dealt with this. It is miserable. Not to mention I lost my beloved dog of 17 years last November. Been a tough year...

Inger · Aug 20, 2018

I’m so very sorry. We also lost our beloved dog (12) in November, and he left a hole that can’t be filled. I can’t imagine losing my bird so soon after.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

BoomBoom · Aug 21, 2018

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's such a huge pain when they pass so suddenly. I lost my parakeet last May 19 quite instantly and I'm left constantly wondering why.

My thoughts are with you.

ChristaNL · Aug 21, 2018

I hear you ....
so sorry you had to say goodbye like that.

Laurasea · Aug 21, 2018

So sorry for your loss

Flboy · Aug 21, 2018

I am so sorry for your loss!

Scott · Aug 21, 2018

My deepest condolences for the loss of your Sun and senior dog. The passing at such a young age is doubly hard, as we are left to ponder the potential for years of enjoyment. That there were no outward signs on Saturday is not unusual, as birds tend to hide illness as long as possible.

The only potential way to know what happened is to have a necropsy (autopsy) by a certified avian vet. It is also possible your bird had some sort of congenital issue.

itzjbean · Aug 21, 2018

One of my birds passed away this year. I got a necrospy done because I have another bird and didn't want to risk him being infected with something she may have passed onto him. I was also feeling extremely guilty that I had done something wrong.

Turns out she had a bad liver and kidney, and likely had from her birth. Even with the best diet and care there was nothing I could have done.

I am so sorry for your sudden loss. IN the future, PLEASE get a necropsy done just to have answers. It was likely something he had and nothing you could have done.

It brought me closure also.

GaleriaGila · Aug 21, 2018

You sound like a wonderfully loving person. And clearly, you see your darlings out of this life as treasured, beloved companions. I believe that lasts into Eternity, I really do.

Crash_Davis · Aug 21, 2018

I just want to thank everyone who has replied.. I can see on this forum I am certainly not alone. I guess it happens suddenly like this to many others but I still feel extremely guilty and shocked. It's definitely a (excuse my language) WTF!!?! thing... I guess it will just take some time like the loss of any pet.

I know everyone wants me to get a necropsy done but I am a single father living in Northern VA. They want around $300 to do it. I just don't have the extra money. I don't have another bird and it's not going to change anything. Sounds harsh but I tend to deal in reality (most of the time). If I had the free cash I would probably do it but like I said, it won't bring him back. I'd definitely do it if I had another bird to worry about. I'd want to rule something contagious out.

I will miss my bird and might get another one eventually. There are good birds that need good homes.

Needed to reach out to other bird owners because I think only you guys know what this feels like.

Thanks again.

-kevin

MonicaMc · Aug 22, 2018

It's probably already too late, but for future reference, it may help to search out a state(?) agricultural department that has vets on staff. Having been there with not being able to afford necropsies, I've had them done for $15-$50 going through the agricultural department. I'm kind of lucky though, in that there's one within 10 minutes drive.

Believe me though, I can understand and sympathize with the 'tough year' part.... lost over half of my animals last year (cats and birds) plus my dog earlier this year. Number one cause of death has been cancer... even in a 7 year old bird that should have lived for 20-30 years at least. She was a conure, also...

My condolences.

Tami2 · Aug 22, 2018

I'm very sorry for your loss. :smile016:
If they are sick and suffering we can at least have some peace that they are out of their misery. But, the sudden death, is so much more difficult. IMHO
All the questions that go through our minds, it's awful.

Like some have already said, there was probably something there from birth and nothing you could have done to prevent it.
Be kind to yourself, it wasn't your fault.

Thinking of you...

wrench13 · Aug 22, 2018

Kevin, you are not alone. We lost our little Maxie 5 yrs ago almost the same way, but more abrupt. He was fine one day and gone the next morning. He was only 6 yrs onld and his species ( BeeBee parrot) easily live to 30-35 years. Heloved everyonein the house, but me most of all and I will never ever not feel deep sorrow when I think about him...even now. But there is a silver lining... his passing made room for Salty and maybe thats life, one dear life out and another in. Who knows there may be a homeless parrot out there just waiting for a new lovin home with you and your family.

Crash_Davis · Aug 30, 2018

Thanks again all. I am still recovering from the guilt of losing Willie bird. I bought him an engraved rock to embed over his grave. My daughter and I will plant a perrennial. My ex laughs and frankly I am like what is wrong with me, it is a bird but when you are responsible for taking care of a creature that could live to 20+ years old and you only get him to 4, it feels awful. He was always very resilient so it just frustrating.

Anyway it is slowly getting better and I am making the decision to not give up. I believe I can provide a loving/healthy home to another bird. I plan to adopt rather than shop. Might take some time but I need some and it might be better to find the right bird in the long run. I will keep my fellow birdlovers in the know. Thanks for all your nice comments.

Kevin

LaManuka · Aug 31, 2018

Kevin I too am very sorry indeed for your loss. Anyone who hasn’t had the privilege of loving and being loved by a bird cannot be expected to understand. I have a conure-shaped hole in my heart too. And a cockatiel-shaped one, and a purple-crowned lorikeet-shaped one (you get the picture!) ... call me crazy but another little feathery face always comes along who needs some love and will love a great daddy like you in return

itzjbean · Aug 31, 2018

Crash_Davis said:
Thanks again all. I am still recovering from the guilt of losing Willie bird. I bought him an engraved rock to embed over his grave. My daughter and I will plant a perrennial. My ex laughs and frankly I am like what is wrong with me, it is a bird but when you are responsible for taking care of a creature that could live to 20+ years old and you only get him to 4, it feels awful. He was always very resilient so it just frustrating.

Anyway it is slowly getting better and I am making the decision to not give up. I believe I can provide a loving/healthy home to another bird. I plan to adopt rather than shop. Might take some time but I need some and it might be better to find the right bird in the long run. I will keep my fellow birdlovers in the know. Thanks for all your nice comments.

Kevin

I can see why she's your ex.... wow laughing at you for grieving for a beloved pet?? Not right.

MySweetJess · Sep 23, 2018

I'm so very, very sorry for your loss. Many members have lost theirs at an early age, even younger. We can only honor their life. Again, sorry your sweeties went early to go over the bridge.

Guilt/Shock/Sadness

Crash_Davis

New member

Inger

Well-known member

BoomBoom

Well-known member

ChristaNL

Banned

Laurasea

Well-known member

Flboy

Well-known member

Scott

Supporting Member

itzjbean

Well-known member

GaleriaGila

Well-known member

Crash_Davis

New member

MonicaMc

Well-known member

Tami2

Well-known member

wrench13

Moderator

Crash_Davis

New member

LaManuka

Moderator

itzjbean

Well-known member

MySweetJess

Member

Cant change the past. So ill just cry

Goodbye Sweet Tiki

Most Reactions

Similar threads

Latest posts