Advice on dealing with three loss

Advice on dealing with the loss

We had our GCC for seven years; he was so cuddly and affectionate, always wanted to be on us or asleep under our t-shirts. We were always so careful with diet and environment.

After a week away we came back to find him hanging dead from the bars. His food bowl was empty; he'd starved to death. The person looking after him had got the dates wrong despite an explicit note confirming the day - he stopped visiting 4 days before our return.

I am not an emotional person - I haven't cried since I was a child, and was very stoic when we realised my dad wasn't going to make it. That said, it was undoubtedly the worst moment of my life, and I haven't stopped breaking down in tears for the last few days.

The thought that our beloved parrot spent two or three days starving to death, alone, with no idea of why is completely unbearable. He didn't deserve that.

I keep wishing I'd checked in each day with the carer, or done something differently. But I guess that's normal. I have no anger towards the friend.

I would appreciate any tips on how others moved on, as it's all a bit much.

I feel so much for you in your loss. Sometimes things happen which seem insurmountable but I can only assure you that this pain will ease. It will take time and in the meantime be kind to yourself. Cry if you need to - but it will pass into a place where you can think about it without the overwhelming sorrow that you feel now.

You had done everything to protect your bird and you really can't blame yourself for it failing. It was one of those unpredictable situations. It must have been a dreadful shock on your arrival home and that shock can be really hard. You will recover.

I wish you well. Take care.

I am so utterly sorry this has happened to you. Its absolute devastating and a tragedy it happened.

While people deal with grief differently, all I can recommend is that you continue crying. Cry until you can't cry any longer. Then remember all the good times you had. Remember that you did everything that you could. It isn't your fault. When you need to, reach out and talk to someone.
Take care of yourself through all this. Drink water, get some sun, and do what you love to do

I am very sorry for your loss.
Everyone here that has lost a beloved bird has those thoughts.
I should have done this, that or the other thing.
In the end all we can do is learn and move on.
For myself I focused on my living Fids and doubled down on the attention I gave to them.
After the grieving I kept my eyes open for a Fid that would fill the void left in my life (there is no such thing as a replacement).

I don’t talk about this much, as it predates my participation on this forum by a decade, but I lost my dear conure Aphrodite in a very similar manner when I was in college (I’m 35 now).

She was in my parents care. Everyone had a habit of covering her up when she got loud in her place in the laundry room - another shame. Parents went away for a week and left my brother to care for her. He covered her on day one, and completely forgot about her. After a few days he thought she was awfully quiet and checked in, and she was gone.

Her tragic life is one I will regret for the rest of my life. My only defense is We didn’t know better; and my current parrot is the better for the lessons Aphrodite suffered from.

My advice: forgiveness. My brother made a mistake, he didn’t have malice in his heart. Your friend didn’t have malice, it was a huge confusion and mistake. Try to find forgiveness in your heart for your friend who did the best they could. You’ll find peace in your heart then.

My most profound condolences. I of all people know EXACTLY what you’re going through. It will get better.

So very horrible! I am so sorry!

I am so sorry you have to deal with this dreadful circumstance, my heart goes out to you.

My deepest condolences for the loss of your beloved GCC. There are no magic words to assuage your grief, only the passage of time. I hope his precious and bright memories bring you comfort.

I am so sorry for your terrible loss. I wish there were words to help ease your pain.
Sending you my deepest condolences, my heart hurts for you.

Thanks guys; I guess one just has to give it plenty of time.