My sweet budgie died in an accident this morning

I am still in shock and can barely believe that it happened and I am literally crying as I am typing this.

This morning started exactly like every other morning, my mom, small brother, and dad woke up while I was still asleep as I usually wake up a bit later.
Our male budgie Shusya was a very trusting a fearless budgie, he would sit on the guest's shoulders even if he never saw them before, would like to run on the floor and other stuff. Today it was a tragic end for him and we all are feeling very guilty, sad, and devastated about this.

Like usual my mom went to the cage to open it in the morning. Shusya decided to fly to my room while I was still asleep and me being asleep I turned around in bed... The next thing I know is my mom suddenly screaming his name as she picked him from my bed. I was so confused and didn't realize what is happening at first. I hoped that I am asleep and it is not real but it was.
It has been around 6 hours since it happened and we still can't stop crying. We already buried him in a park nearby and took a shot for him. We really loved him and I would consider myself a pioneer in my family in regards to bonding with him so for me it feels even worse than for the rest, but it is all subjective.

Now we have other budgie left called Nyosha and she didn't bond with us as much as Shusya did. We think about getting a new budgie but definitely not now and we believe no other budgie will ever truly replace our beloved bird.

I need an advice because I keep outbursting in tears every other minute as I have memories flow inside my head. The fluffy cure loving daredevil he was.
The worst thing is that he was only 2 years old. We all always hoped we'd have him for a long time but it just got interrupted like that and it is probably the worst part of all this other than the accident itself being very tragic.

RIP Shusya 2018-2020

This is so horrible! I am so very sorry!

I’m so very sorry to hear about this terrible accident! Shusya sounds like a much adored and cherished little bird, and you gave him a wonderful life and a loving home. Accidents like these are always especially difficult to deal with - so many of us here have experienced a similar kind of loss and understand just how painful it is. It is very evident how much you love sweet little Shusya and that he was very attached to you too, and you will need to take some time to allow yourself to grieve his loss.

Fly forever high and free, darling and courageous little Shusya. You were so beloved, and you will never be forgotten.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I know how difficult it is to loose a feathered friend unexpectedly . My sympathies to you.

I am so sorry. How heartbreaking for all of you.
Nothing but time will lessen the hurt, but your great memories are a testament to what a good and happy life he had as a member of your family.
Maybe you could make something to remember him by, like a memorial or little garden or something...Don't be afraid to grieve, but know that you gave him a wonderful life and that you loved him dearly, which is why this hurts so much.
Again, so sorry.

Maybe when things aren't so fresh, you could make a little box and ask your family members to individually write down or illustrate all of their silly/happy/ good memories of Shusya on a bunch of little papers and put them in that box, along with some other little mementos. Then you could read them together someday or read them when you miss him.

I'm so sorry for your loss! My deepest condolences. It is truly heartbreaking to lose a cherished flock member. In time, hopefully the many happy memories with Shusya will comfort you. The special ones live on in our hearts, always.

While your case was clearly an accident, it also serves as a helpful reminder of what can happen to folks who would intentionally let their bird sleep with them. Perhaps, if there's something positive to be considered, it's at least that your tragedy might help someone else in the future. Again, I'm so sorry.

Fly free, little Shusya!

My deepest condolences for your tragic loss of Shusya. May his bright memories comfort you and your family. Please allow yourself to grieve and forgive an accident.

Nothing can ever replace your beloved Shusya, perhaps in time Nyosha will choose to bond more closely.

We are here for you.

Thanks to everyone who responded. It is still very hard to accept that this happened. Never in the entire time we had him I ever thought of such a horrible end. It is very hard going through this. We are considering getting a new male but in the same time I personally feel like I am not ready. Despite me being asleep I feel like I am the killer. I loved him so much and I killed him while asleep. What is this nightmare? He got through a door just barely open enough to squeeze through so nobody understood at first that he was in my room and by the time they figured it was too late. Entire day I am tearing every few minutes.

This was NOT your fault-- you were unconscious and doing what sleeping people have always done.

I would feel the same way, but seriously, not your fault. I am not dismissing your feelings at all-- I just want you to know that you are not to blame from an outsider's perspective.

DanielD said:

Thanks to everyone who responded. It is still very hard to accept that this happened. Never in the entire time we had him I ever thought of such a horrible end. It is very hard going through this. We are considering getting a new male but in the same time I personally feel like I am not ready. Despite me being asleep I feel like I am the killer. I loved him so much and I killed him while asleep. What is this nightmare? He got through a door just barely open enough to squeeze through so nobody understood at first that he was in my room and by the time they figured it was too late. Entire day I am tearing every few minutes.

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I think you stated it best at the beginning of your first post. Shock. Absolute numbing shock. Nothing prepares for an innocent and accidental loss of a cherished companion animal.

Please allow yourself to grieve all stages of the process. You express as a person with keen self awareness and insight. I believe this will help you recover more effectively despite intense sadness and remorse.

Article written for 4-legged companions but may be helpful: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-truisms-wellness/201608/why-losing-pet-hurts-so-much

So sorry for your loss. You clearly gave him a loving home. Unexpected loss is always hard to deal with. Just take one day at a time. My thoughts are with you .

I'm so so sorry to hear this! How terribly sad

DanielD said:

Thanks to everyone who responded. It is still very hard to accept that this happened. Never in the entire time we had him I ever thought of such a horrible end. It is very hard going through this. We are considering getting a new male but in the same time I personally feel like I am not ready. Despite me being asleep I feel like I am the killer. I loved him so much and I killed him while asleep. What is this nightmare? He got through a door just barely open enough to squeeze through so nobody understood at first that he was in my room and by the time they figured it was too late. Entire day I am tearing every few minutes.

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I would feel the same from an emotional perspective, but from a logical perspective, you can no more blame a door for closing due to the wind or a glass from breaking when it hits the floor. You had NO idea he was in there because you were no aware at all. You were just doing what sleeping people do.

Your grief is valid, but you did not kill your bird. I understand that you feel that way (because I would too), but it's not your fault..There was a whole set of circumstances that led to this, so please do not blame yourself. It's awful, and painful and complicated, but YOU personally are not to blame.

So very sorry to hear this. RIP. Little bird.

Didn't realise there was a second page at first. Thanks to everyone again. I am already feeling much better and we got a new bird which shows such great potential! Will make sure to guarantee this tragic accident and similar never happens again and try our best to give Tosha an even better life than Shusya had. Only problem is that we have to hold the female separately from the very young male for a bit because everyone really really wants him to speak and he actually tries to and listens. We even have some suspicion Shusya's soul entered Tosha. It is all sentimental but it really feels like it. A strange world we all live in.

DanielD said:

Didn't realise there was a second page at first. Thanks to everyone again. I am already feeling much better and we got a new bird which shows such great potential! Will make sure to guarantee this tragic accident and similar never happens again and try our best to give Tosha an even better life than Shusya had. Only problem is that we have to hold the female separately from the very young male for a bit because everyone really really wants him to speak and he actually tries to and listens. We even have some suspicion Shusya's soul entered Tosha. It is all sentimental but it really feels like it. A strange world we all live in.

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I am certain Tosha will be a great addition to your family. Feel free to post a question in the Budgie forum if you have any questions about strategy. Not personally familiar with the species so cannot give meaningful advice!

Strange world indeed on so many levels!