So frustrated

SarahKate

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Dec 8, 2014
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I have had my tiel quietly sitting next to me on my desk everyday for about a week or so. I must use his cloth pineapple hut/toy to get him out of his cage, in his cage, to come to me, etc. I thought it was pretty neat at first, but the past couple days my cockatiel has been extra mean.

He is more frequently biting me. He has been running up just to bite me if I get close to him. In the beginning he would get on my finger sometimes and climb up my shoulder, but he has slowly gotten worse and worse about it. He could be perfectly fine, Crest up, grinding his beak, but if i so much as twitch my hand next to him its instantly flat crest open beak, speed walking at me.

I could only get him to cooperate with me if he sees his pineapple. Then he sees my fingers holding his pineapple and chomps down..hard. Today I decided to take the pineapple away and stop using it. He isn't tame, he just wants his love-toy. I'm so frustrated. He drew blood for the first time today. I tried using gloves, but hes really terrified of them and goes wide eyed and does the panicked little squeaks.

I saw a video on youtube of someone using a long perch and trying over and over to get their budgie to stand on it, rewarding her when she does, then slowly making her hand go closer and closer down the perch as the bird gets used to it. I tried that, but he just runs in circles around his cage because of my hand holding it at the far end. I have tried the "setting my hand in the cage" thing many times already since we got him and nothing changed.

It's driving me nuts and I feel like i'm just wasting my time. I don't want to let him out of his cage until he is tame, but he isn't cooperating with anything! He doesn't like toys or treats, I offer him a millet, he attacks it and knocks the seeds off, he avoids any perches near his toys. Bird really aren't my forte I suppose.
 

SoCalWendy

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sounds like he sees you as a predator and is defending himself. I take it his wings are clipped, because if they wernt he would be flying away from you instead of coming at you. Sorry to say this but from your description, I don't see you doing anything to build trust in him. You can however start jut by opening his cage and then leaving him alone. Start over, don't try and pick him up, just care for his needs until he is more comfortable with your presents. And don't rush it. Body language in birds is loud and clear. Most will run away then stay and fight if they are scared. Watch him, move slowly, and speak softly to him. When he becomes more relaxed then you can start offering him treats by hand, but again you want to take it slow and don't rush it. A scared bird is not a happy bird. And neither is a mad bird. So if your willing to do the work and take it slow, it will eventually pay off.
 
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SarahKate

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sounds like he sees you as a predator and is defending himself. I take it his wings are clipped, because if they wernt he would be flying away from you instead of coming at you. Sorry to say this but from your description, I don't see you doing anything to build trust in him. You can however start jut by opening his cage and then leaving him alone. Start over, don't try and pick him up, just care for his needs until he is more comfortable with your presents. And don't rush it. Body language in birds is loud and clear. Most will run away then stay and fight if they are scared. Watch him, move slowly, and speak softly to him. When he becomes more relaxed then you can start offering him treats by hand, but again you want to take it slow and don't rush it. A scared bird is not a happy bird. And neither is a mad bird. So if your willing to do the work and take it slow, it will eventually pay off.

His wings aren't clipped, he only flies when he is going for his pineapple, though. When he is on the desk he just chooses to run at me for some reason haha. I don't really know what I can do to build trust in him when i can't get close to him. I guess i'll just leave him alone in his cage again.
 

EAI

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Budgerigar: Arrow, Esther, Kratos, Cora, Ducky.


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Sounds like she's getting pretty defensive against his hut. He probably senses you as a threat now, trying to take something that belongs to him.

Is she DNA'd as a male and how old is he-when did you get him?

With no intentions of offense, it sounds like you are rushing him too fast. Yes, there are video tutorials online on how to "properly" tame a parrot but realistically, those don't work with every bird. Since there are dozens of tutorials online, you have to find one that works for you AND him. Not all birds are the same and react differently to different methods of training.

Try start from the beginning and let him get used to your presence up until he's comfortable with you around. Then try start introducing your method when you have a small step of trust. Always stay calm and don't let your emotions get the best of you. They are highly sensitive to our feelings. They also aren't guaranteed to be tamed in less than a week, most cases, the taming process can take months even years. But even then, they can make a huge turn around.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edit: Please don't leave him in his cage (unless it's sort of like an aviary). He should be allowed to stretch his wings and muscles and be able to develop a healthy mentality. Also, doing that will surely lengthen your process of wanting a tame bird.

Where was he raised? It sounds like he wasn't introduced to any toys at all. I wouldn't say he doesn't like toys, he just needs to be taught to play with them and find his perfect toy. Try leaving them outside the cage for him to see and to allow him to get used to their presence too. Try leaving small pieces of millets in his food bowl so he can get used to the taste and maybe eventually like it.
 
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veimar

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gcc Parry; lovebird Coco; 3 budgies (Tesla, Franky and Cesar); cockatiel Murzik, red rump parakeet girl Onyx
I think you're rushing the events.. It took me two months to semi-tame my tiel, and one more month before he could have been taught to step up. He drew blood not only once. The thing is that they don't associate you with your hands - they perceive them as some threatening objects and attack them. I bet he doesn't hiss at your face, just at your hands, right? :D Mine is still very hard to get out of cage, and sometimes it takes me up to 5-7 min of "gentle struggling" until he steps up on my hand and stops biting it. But when he is out of cage he is a sweety. :)
Tiels are easy to sex - just look at his tail feathers if they have bars on them (unless he is a baby which he is probably not). If there are bars it a female, if it's solid gray it a male. Males have also a brighter face.
Google up the cockatiel taming (not just parrots, but tiels in particular) and there is a lot of useful information out there as well as on this forum.
 

SoCalWendy

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Please do not just leave him in his cage... He needs to spread his wings and get exercise. Why not remove the pineapple for now since it seams to be a real source pf frustration for him seeing you touch it. Or stop touching it. I can't play with my birds toys with her. She gets over stimulate and I will get bit. But I never take it personal. Instead I have learned to let her be with her toys. It took me 3 months to gain trust with a 4 month old senegal. She was only a baby and it seemed to me like it took forever. She will be 2 in February and she is just now starting to trust my husband, and she barely tolerates my 16 year old daughter. My daughter can handle her, but usually only when I am not around. So your not alone, your just rushing things. Birds are wild animals. Instinct takes over most of the time. Cockatiels are usually pretty social birds. I'm sure yours will come around, but it will be up to you.
 
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SarahKate

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Sounds like she's getting pretty defensive against his hut. He probably senses you as a threat now, trying to take something that belongs to him.

Is she DNA'd as a male and how old is he-when did you get him?

With no intentions of offense, it sounds like you are rushing him too fast. Yes, there are video tutorials online on how to "properly" tame a parrot but realistically, those don't work with every bird. Since there are dozens of tutorials online, you have to find one that works for you AND him. Not all birds are the same and react differently to different methods of training.

Try start from the beginning and let him get used to your presence up until he's comfortable with you around. Then try start introducing your method when you have a small step of trust. Always stay calm and don't let your emotions get the best of you. They are highly sensitive to our feelings. They also aren't guaranteed to be tamed in less than a week, most cases, the taming process can take months even years. But even then, they can make a huge turn around.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edit: Please don't leave him in his cage (unless it's sort of like an aviary). He should be allowed to stretch his wings and muscles and be able to develop a healthy mentality. Also, doing that will surely lengthen your process of wanting a tame bird.

Where was he raised? It sounds like he wasn't introduced to any toys at all. I wouldn't say he doesn't like toys, he just needs to be taught to play with them and find his perfect toy. Try leaving them outside the cage for him to see and to allow him to get used to their presence too. Try leaving small pieces of millets in his food bowl so he can get used to the taste and maybe eventually like it.

We got him about half a year ago. He was grumpy and mean and my mom grew up with songbirds so she assumed you just leave him in his cage..She still doesn't like to call him a parrot since hes so small, but I did research recently because I felt bad for him and made him some toys and tried taking him out and that is when I noticed his lovetoy pineapple is good for attracting him where I want him to go, but he just bites waaaay too hard now. I hold his pineapple and he clamps down really hard and I accidentally flug him off me onto the floor a couple times form reflex so I'm kind of scared to take him out since he wont let me hold his pineapple anymore and I don't want to hurt him on accident.

My sister randomly adopted him from a friend, even though we have no experience with birds. The previous owners said he was a mean bird. All they gave us was his cage ( its a pretty good size ) and him in a tiny like..hermit crab sized plastic cage for transportation ( which I can only assume traumatized him getting him in there! I don't even know HOW they got him in there actually..) They didn't have any perches or toys, which if they were getting rid of their bird and cage, I don't know why they would keep them, so I'm assuming he had none. I'm also assuming he came from a pet store. My sister's lot definitely aren't they type to do research and find a breeder and such. I'm not sure how old he is either. I just know he is a he from his coloration.

I mean he has been in our living room for months now and people talking to him and giving him food and water and such so I'm not really sure why he isn't used to people being around yet u_u
 
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SarahKate

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Please do not just leave him in his cage... He needs to spread his wings and get exercise. Why not remove the pineapple for now since it seams to be a real source pf frustration for him seeing you touch it. Or stop touching it. I can't play with my birds toys with her. She gets over stimulate and I will get bit. But I never take it personal. Instead I have learned to let her be with her toys. It took me 3 months to gain trust with a 4 month old senegal. She was only a baby and it seemed to me like it took forever. She will be 2 in February and she is just now starting to trust my husband, and she barely tolerates my 16 year old daughter. My daughter can handle her, but usually only when I am not around. So your not alone, your just rushing things. Birds are wild animals. Instinct takes over most of the time. Cockatiels are usually pretty social birds. I'm sure yours will come around, but it will be up to you.

The only way I could get him in and out was with his pineapple. How can I go about it without it? Hes terrified of gloves, and chomps down on any hand that gets close, hes afraid of perches and sticks that he sees my hand holding.
 

veimar

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Feb 5, 2014
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gcc Parry; lovebird Coco; 3 budgies (Tesla, Franky and Cesar); cockatiel Murzik, red rump parakeet girl Onyx
what color gloves are you using? I had skin colored (very light pinkish tan) thin suede garden gloves, and he never had any problem with those. My point in handling him was that he had to understand that no matter how much he bit he would still be handled, and that there was no threat in my hands. The most difficult thing was (and sometimes is) to get him out of his cage, but he definitely makes some progress. So just give him some time and do what you're doing. They are social birds, and he will warm up to you eventually.
 

Tangie

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Kiko; A cockatiel.
Tangie; My beloved Sun Conure who passed away in May 2013
I know it can be extremely frustrating. It can get much better though. My Cockatiel had severe trust issues. He felt lonely and pined for attention, but if you gave it to him, he would be terrified. He thought he would be tortured like he used to be. His home was in a dog kennel, and his only perch was the tip of a cuttle-bone, and a mirror. The kids could reach in and pull his feathers, wings, and tail. Do not rush things. Take strides(or shuffles) at his pace. Be as close to him as he will allow, and talk to him. Soon he will trust you more.

Kiko would never willingly come out of his cage, or step up to anything, or let me hand him treats, or even play with any toys. At first I just spent time around him, and kept his cage open. Withing a few weeks,(or a month or so), he came out on his own to hang out. There was a ladder he would step up on and I used that to maneuver him around and place him next to me. When it was time to go in, I just used the ladder. Using his pineapple is probably the best solution for now, until he learns to trust you more. I would feed him millet sticks, and once a week I would make my hands approach a little closer. Eventually he even took a seed from my fingers without attacking me. It can be discouraging sometimes, but with persistence and patience, he will learn to trust you. I have owned Kiko for nearly 2 years, and he still will not let me touch him with my fingers, or step up onto my hand. But not every parrot is the same, and it's very likely your Cockatiel will trust you sooner than Kiko started trusting me.
 

SoCalWendy

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"The only way I could get him in and out was with his pineapple. How can I go about it without it? Hes terrified of gloves, and chomps down on any hand that gets close, hes afraid of perches and sticks that he sees my hand holding."


Check out this link: Parrotlets Are Fun-Loving Mini-Parrots I know it's about parrotlets but the third video down is about cockatiels and bonding. You might find it helpful.
 

EdwardH

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I think that you may be putting the cart before the horse (cockatiel in this case). You need to build the tiels trust in you and then it shall happily step up for you. It is possible that the cockatiel may be seeing the hut as its nesting box and is defending its territory. I suggest that you remove the hut for now and start working on building trust then return the hut (if you want) at a later date.
 
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SarahKate

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UPDATE:

When I stopped taking him totally out of his cage ( because he started biting too hard to handle) I brought his cage in my room right next to my desk where i spend most of my time instead. I leave the cage open so he can fly and walk around as he wishes. He flew a few times to the ledge of my door which is uncomfortably skinny for him to stay on, and he ALWAYS got on my finger to help him out without an issue. Yesterday I helped him down and he chomped my hand so hard there was blood everywhere. He never bit me when I helped him before : (

Just now I went to close his cage door ( it opened kinda like a draw bridge so it sticks out about 5 inches when its opened) and he ran up to the edge of his door and attacked my jacket a good 30 seconds whenever I got near him. When he wasnt attacking my clothes and i went to close the door he would fly and land on my back and try to attack me from there. The only way I could get him in was by using a shoe to guide him down into the cage and stop him from flying away. He is getting EXTREMELY aggressive. And now hes happily grinding his beak like he isn't bothered at all..

I dont know what I should do. Which one is better?

Leaving my hand in his cage for 10 mins a day waiting for him to get used to it.( away from his perch because he practically falls off of them trying to bite me sometimes..) I have seen this mentioned in many places on the internet.

Leaving him next to my desk with the doors open to his cage so he can fly around. ( I was told he should have out of cage time)

Those are the only things i've tried recently with him and hes just getting more and more aggressive : ( What am I doing wrong??
 
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SarahKate

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"The only way I could get him in and out was with his pineapple. How can I go about it without it? Hes terrified of gloves, and chomps down on any hand that gets close, hes afraid of perches and sticks that he sees my hand holding."


Check out this link: Parrotlets Are Fun-Loving Mini-Parrots I know it's about parrotlets but the third video down is about cockatiels and bonding. You might find it helpful.

The issue with that is the food my mother bought for him is mostly millet anyways and he refuses to eat anything that isnt his seeds :/ Thats another issue i'm having with him lol. I'll keep it in mind though!
 
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SarahKate

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I think that you may be putting the cart before the horse (cockatiel in this case). You need to build the tiels trust in you and then it shall happily step up for you. It is possible that the cockatiel may be seeing the hut as its nesting box and is defending its territory. I suggest that you remove the hut for now and start working on building trust then return the hut (if you want) at a later date.

he never goes inside the hut, more like he just humped it the months we didn't try and tame him and now he never leaves its side. I did take it out though. He is always scrambling to find it whenever it leaves his sight.
 

SoCalWendy

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"The only way I could get him in and out was with his pineapple. How can I go about it without it? Hes terrified of gloves, and chomps down on any hand that gets close, hes afraid of perches and sticks that he sees my hand holding."


Check out this link: Parrotlets Are Fun-Loving Mini-Parrots I know it's about parrotlets but the third video down is about cockatiels and bonding. You might find it helpful.

The issue with that is the food my mother bought for him is mostly millet anyways and he refuses to eat anything that isnt his seeds :/ Thats another issue i'm having with him lol. I'll keep it in mind though!


I think you need you get him away from his comfort zone completely away from his cage. So maybe instead of having his cage in your room where you spend most of your time, get him a playstand put it in your room instead and put his cage in the living room. In the morning take him from his cage and put him on his playtand. Your might even get his wings clipped to make him more dependent on you while your going through this process. Work with him a little each day. Several times a day. Rewards his good behavior.and ignore. The bad. I use millet for training and when my birds are under the weather. Millet is comfort food. Start introducing veggies, like raw broccoli and carrots, lettuce, whatever you have on hand, and some fruit like apple, and and maybe even some Nutriberries which have some pellets in them.
 

starrynightxxi

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Where is his cage? Is it in a place that you can hang out with him while he is in it? What he probably needs is a wing clip to stop flying attacks and then a lot of passive attention. Open the cage so he can step out if he chooses (but it is no big deal if he doesn't,) and be nearby, talking, moving, occasional eye contact, but without approaching or trying to touch him. He needs to learn to relax in your presence, and if he came from a rough place you have even more to overcome, but it can happen. They are wired to be social, but they also are wired to survive and they do what they think is necessary for that.

This is a bird that needs empathy and patience, it is hard but you are on his schedule, not your own. Keep trying because there is probably a rewarding relationship waiting for you beyond that fear and with a 15 year lifespan, plenty of time to get there

[Edit] personally I don't see any reason to remove him from his comfort zone when what you want is for him to be comfortable but you could put him on a playstand, if you havery one and are able to get him onto it.
 
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EdwardH

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Eclectus
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Sounds like he is sexually fixated on the hut. Get rid of it for good as he needs to learn some good behaviour patterns and humping a hut isn't healthy. He probably thinks that you are trying to hit on his mate and is protecting his other half!

DO NOT let him out of the cage again until he will step up without biting.

1. Feed him sprouts, vegies and pellets. Only give him millet during training sessions, at least for now. Don't worry if he won't eat for a day as he will eat when he is hungry. I'm yet to see a cockatiel that won't eat sprouts, corn, broccoli, spinach etc. A plain seed diet will send him to an early grave.

2. Start to target train him using the millet as the reward. You should see positive results in a week or two if you have 3 or more training sessions per day. When he is calm in your presence and "happy to see you" THEN you start on the step up command (whilst he is still in his cage) but use a piece of dowel until you can trust him not to bite. When he steps calmly onto the dowel then slowly reduce the length of it so that he SLOWLY has to stand closer to your hand. After a while (time depends on the bird and your consistent effort) he will trust you enough to sit on your hand without biting and THEN let him out of the cage. Take him to a stand or bench and keep training him and giving him positive rewards for GOOD behaviour.
 
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SarahKate

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Where is his cage? Is it in a place that you can hang out with him while he is in it? What he probably needs is a wing clip to stop flying attacks and then a lot of passive attention. Open the cage so he can step out if he chooses (but it is no big deal if he doesn't,) and be nearby, talking, moving, occasional eye contact, but without approaching or trying to touch him. He needs to learn to relax in your presence, and if he came from a rough place you have even more to overcome, but it can happen. They are wired to be social, but they also are wired to survive and they do what they think is necessary for that.

This is a bird that needs empathy and patience, it is hard but you are on his schedule, not your own. Keep trying because there is probably a rewarding relationship waiting for you beyond that fear and with a 15 year lifespan, plenty of time to get there

[Edit] personally I don't see any reason to remove him from his comfort zone when what you want is for him to be comfortable but you could put him on a playstand, if you havery one and are able to get him onto it.

Yep his cage currently is like 2 feet away from me haha.

What kind of place can i go to get his wings clipped? How much does it usually cost?
 

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