My good ol bird Bob who wants nothing to do with me...

Boywithbird

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Hi! I have one of the cutest parakeets I have ever seen. His name is Bob. He used to be my grandma's but she no longer could keep him because the cat knocked down the cage and she was worried he may get hurt. Bob loves to sing and hop from one perch to the next. The only issue I have with him is that he and I have never bonded. I have had him for about a year now. His cage is inside my room and I'm the one who takes care of him (giving him food (such as seeds, vegetables,and fruits) I clean his cage and much more). I talk to him for hours a day because I work at home. Yet I haven't been able to bound with him. He is very used to my hand inside and near the cage and is very familiar of my daily routine but he just seems to not like me back. I have tried to put my hand close to him and he backs up or trys to nip at it so I slowly talk to him and when he still doesn't like it I pull it out calmly. I have also tried to hand feed him many times but he refused to take it. I have never pushed him to do something he didn't seem he wanted to do. I have taken him to three different vets (that specializ in birds)to see if he was sick or in pain as he is an older bird but they always tell me he is in perfect health. I love him heaps and I try to provide him the best life I can. He has a decent size cage where he can fly around and I talk to him endlessly but he still doesn't like to bond with me. Do you know anything I can do that would help us. I would never think of giving him away or making him scared so those are out of the question. Thanks for your time and answers.
 

noodles123

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Jul 11, 2018
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Umbrella Cockatoo- 15? years old..I think?
How long have you had him? My re-homed Umbrella Cockatoo took three very indulgent months before she would step up (and two before I would confidently pet her head) -this was a bird who already knew how.
Your bird is also overcoming a past bond...whatever time you think it will take, multiply that my 10 (assuming your plan is based on days....)
Also, do not be the initiator. Do things nearby and let the bird come to you. Talk near it and read etc, but don't spend all of your time looking at it etc--this alone can be intimidating.
Once you can get your bird to talk with you and approach etc, consider feeding it though the bars and progress from there, but do leave the door open so that the bird may come and go as it pleases (assuming you have the means to do so).
 
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Boywithbird

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Thank you for replying. I have had Bob for a year and have been hoping to bond with him for 11 months. Letting him come to me sounds like a great idea and will definitely try that. And I will try feeding him through the cage. He always has fresh seeds and food everyday and most of the time has no interest in treats but sometimes he does so I will try that to.
 

noodles123

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Umbrella Cockatoo- 15? years old..I think?
Look into a pelleted diet mixed with healthy seeds if he is a seed addict...No peanuts, corn or sunflower (seeds alone are not healthy, but birds will starve if diet is changed too quickly without buy-in). Before trying to get him to come to you specifically, try to find a treat he likes and work on just allowing him to see you placing it within the cage. Then, from there, see if he will take from your hand.
 
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Boywithbird

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I will look into other foods. Do you have any recommendations that are good foods for parakeets and still are very healthy for him?
 

FlyBirdiesFly

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Try luring him to step up onto your finger with some spray millet. Almost every parakeet LOVES millet! Start by just holding onto the very end of the millet spray and letting him eat while gently talking to him, then slowly introduce him to being on or near your hands. As he progresses he should eventually be able to eat seeds directly from your hand. Make sure to never force him to do anything he doesn’t want to because you could potentially lose all his trust. If he is still reluctant to eat anything from your hand, try placing the millet just outside the cage and maybe he will be brave enough to venture out.

Budgies can be difficult to hand-tame because they tend to be very skittish when parent-raised (most of them are not hand-fed by the breeder). Did Bob ever come out of his cage and interact with his previous owner? Keep in mind that he is an older bird and if he isn’t used to human interaction, he may just be set in his ways. However most budgies (even hand-fed ones) will never really enjoy being touched/petted/cuddled like other parrots because it’s just the way they are. My albino budgie Pearl was hand-fed and she will land on me and sit on my hand/shoulder but she doesn’t like to be touched at all.

As for food, all parrots need a base of high-quality pellets and a variety of fresh vegetables daily. Once he’s converted to this diet, seeds should only be used as treats when gaining his trust. Some good pellet brands are Harrison’s (which is what I mainly feed my birds), Roudybush, TOPs, Lafebers, Tropican, and ZuPreem Natural. You can basically feed a parrot any veggie that you eat except for mushrooms, avocados, tomatoes, and onions. Some good veggies to feed parrots are romaine lettuce, kale, broccoli, arugula, Swiss chard, cilantro, water cress, cauliflower, bell peppers, hot chili peppers, carrots, cucumber, green beans, peas, corn, sweet potatoes, zucchini, squash, ect.
 
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Boywithbird

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He seems to not like millets but loves apples so I have to tried but thanks for the encouragement. I feel that in this year if he makes no progress that it means he doesn't want to do it and I will just let him be with just being happy in his own little world.
 
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Boywithbird

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I do have two mirrors in the cage would it be good for him if I were to take them out even though he loves to play with them?
 

noodles123

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Umbrella Cockatoo- 15? years old..I think?
mirrors can be tough--you will find mixed opinions here. If it were me, I would remove them (but not if he sees you doing it)....some might say that I am wrong and that this could cause further aggression--it really depends .
 
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Boywithbird

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I think I will temporarily remove it and see if that helps and if not I will put them back in. I love him and I will see if this is the best for him.
 

RavensGryf

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Budgies are just a species (along with other parakeet species) that would rather not be too close to humans once they pass puberty. Sometimes you do hear of ones who bond and cuddle, but that comes down to individual personality, and it’s not the norm. Mine were co-parented by humans, but once my male became mature, he became more weary of hands. My hen will still step up, but she’d rather not have direct human interaction.

I’d remove the mirror. A lot of budgies get obsessed with the reflection, and constantly regurgitate on it. It can create problems and is not considered a mentally healthy bird toy. Especially when nowdays there are so many other great types of bird toys to choose from.
 
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ParrotGenie

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2 umbrella Cockatoos One male named Cooper and female named Baby 1 Little Corella male named Frankie and have 5 Cockatiels three named Male named Pepper, Fiesco for the female and female named Wylie.
He going to be a tough one it seem. You likely have to sat in front of his cage for a while, so he see you constantly and then put hand in cage with spray millet, a few time he won't go for it don't be discourage, but after a while temptation will get the best of him. I would leave your hand in cage for a few minutes at a time. This will help him associate your hand with a positive thing. Try also using a long stick, or perch and see if he step on to that? If none of that works and all fails then let him come out of his cage on his own and close door. Read below.

Some birds are use to being cage bound as we call it. To break cage aggression you have to get him out of what consider his safe spot and out of his cage, also moving the cage to a different area some times works. Let him outside of cage, don't go near yet and let him explore outside the cage and if you can put a perch outside his cage.

If bird not clipped. Keep the cage in an area that you do not walk past regularly and that he won't be able to fly out of the room. So that you only approach the cage for training and feeding and bird can find his way back to the food and can get him back in cage without having to grab him, as eventually will go back into his cage as his safe spot and food. My cockatiels did when taming them, never had to grab them. First step is to approach the cage calmly and slowly. As soon as you see your bird show signs of DISCOMFORT, immediately stop where you are and don't move. Don’t make any sudden noises movements with your arms etc. Avoid eye contact. It may make you appear like a predator. Once your bird calms down turn around and walk away from the cage. Repeat, repeat, repeat and the bird’s flight distance will decrease, till he comfortable with you standing in front of him, don't put your hand out yet, give him a break.

Once you can reach the cage without the bird flying away, start the same technique but this time with just your hand approaching the cage. (ie. first lift your hand until the bird calms down, then put your hand back down and walk away. Then lift your hand a little higher towards the cage, wait for your bird to be calm, then put your hand down and walk away etc). Once your bird is happy for you to stand next to the cage and put your hand up to the cage, drop a treat into its food bowl and walk away. Now this is like positive reinforcement on steroids. Not only does your bird feel calm when you approach, it now gets a treat too and see your hand as a positive thing! Once he accept treats from your hand and 'step up' onto your hand, then you can teach him to step up on command and get him away from cage. Just put one finger under his chest to get him to step up to it and do this a few times with breaks in between while repeating the command.

I have other methods, but try this first usually works.
 
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Sunnyclover

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Take the mirrors out. He probably thinks they are his mates and doesn't need you because he has 2 perfectly good mates staring at him at all times and they never leave him. Toss the mirrors and wait a bit and Bob should come around. Taking the mirrors out isn't cruel...I think having the mirrors is more cruel Because it's like a Truman Show type deal... it's sad and fake. I hope you are able to tame Bob aftrer that. Also don't be too afraid of getting bitten... it's not that bad from a budgie. I volunteer at a bird sanctuary and I know from experience that the best way to get bitten is to show fear. Yes I do get bitten anyways sometimes but meh...it hurts less and less andis just annoying to have to go bandage up in the middle of cleaning 70 or so cages....
 

ParrotGenie

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Jan 10, 2019
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2 umbrella Cockatoos One male named Cooper and female named Baby 1 Little Corella male named Frankie and have 5 Cockatiels three named Male named Pepper, Fiesco for the female and female named Wylie.
Take the mirrors out. He probably thinks they are his mates and doesn't need you because he has 2 perfectly good mates staring at him at all times and they never leave him. Toss the mirrors and wait a bit and Bob should come around. Taking the mirrors out isn't cruel...I think having the mirrors is more cruel Because it's like a Truman Show type deal... it's sad and fake. I hope you are able to tame Bob aftrer that. Also don't be too afraid of getting bitten... it's not that bad from a budgie. I volunteer at a bird sanctuary and I know from experience that the best way to get bitten is to show fear. Yes I do get bitten anyways sometimes but meh...it hurts less and less andis just annoying to have to go bandage up in the middle of cleaning 70 or so cages....

Mirror are usually bad, it case by case. One thing is I usually don't recommend grabbing the bird unless it last recourse and everything else failed. Even then use a towel, so bird see that towel as a predator and not your hand. Plus bird will give in in time, but will be harder to bond to that bird and take longer. Best bet is to do positive reinforcement first and give it time.

I dealt with bird that were abused and even then tame and bonded to them in about 1-2 months and step up in about 1-2 weeks without having to force the bird and ones people had for a year, or more and gave up on. One thing your correct on is don't show fear, or reaction.
 

ChristaNL

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Sunny a female B&G macaw;
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All are rescues- had to leave their previous homes for 'reasons', are still in contact with them :)
We took in some umpf-hands budgies (no idea how many owners they had before us) when I was little and one of them almost succeeded in putting me off birds for ever.

The only interaction she wanted was to bites pieces out of our fingernails (through the bars)-- this was a never/ no longer tamed budy.



All I want to say: every bird is different.


(Hearing people tell you "*I* had no probems with bla bla bla", is NOT helpfull, let them just try to give you some help instead of boasting...)


Just keep trying, but learn to read her bodylanguage to see if he feel like interacting and stop when you think you are pushing too hard.

You have read the sticky about 'bonding'? http://www.parrotforums.com/general-parrot-information/49144-tips-bonding-building-trust.html


You can decide everyday that this is the first day you and your parrot have met and just go from there, you can always go back to the beginning.
 

EllenD

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Welcome to the community!

I have a long history of owning/breeding/hand-raising Budgies, and they really are no different than any other species of parrot, so try not to think of them/him as such. They are extremely intelligent, and also extremely social.

As far as diet goes, Budgies are a bit more difficult to get onto a pellet-staple, but what usually helps is to buy a seed-mix that has appropriately sized pellets in it. Usually these are going to be fruit-pellets, so higher in sugar, but the up-side is that the seeds in these mixes are on the lower-fat, healthier side. So look for the higher-quality Budgie-sized seed-mixes that also contain pellets, such as the Kaytee Forti-Diet (not their "Fiesta" mixes), the Zupreem Budgie mixes, etc.

***Try to stay away from giving him fruit every day, as it's loaded with sugar, and should be thought of as a treat, just like a millet-spray or a honey-seed-stick. What he should have every single day is fresh veggies and dark, leafy greens along with his staple of a seed-mix with pellets in it. Fruit should only be 2 times a week or so, and in small quantities. Budgies usually LOVE all of the dark, leafy greens, such as Kale, Bok Choy, Collards, Mustard, Turnip, Dandelion, Arugula/Rocket, Swiss Chard, etc. I just clip a large piece of dark, leafy greens to the cage bars at the end of a perch with a clothes-pin or clip, and they usually go nuts over it...Also love Broccoli if you just break-off the flowers into small pieces...With Budgies and food it's all about making it a small enough size for them to even attempt eating it.

Also make sure he has both a Cuttlebone and a Mineral Block.

***I always let all of my Budgies have one toy with a mirror in it or just one round mirror, especially in your situation where he's by himself and isn't yet bonded to you. They love a mirror, and it has never caused any of my Budgies to become hormonal or stop wanting to be with me. That's not how Budgies work. They love the cheap, plastic bird-toys, all of them, so as many as you can comfortably fit into his cage the better, along with one of those plastic bathtubs with the mirror in the bottom, I fill it with luke-warm water once a day for them, they love it.

Now as far as your bird in particular, Was he closely-bonded to your grandmother?
Did he regularly step-up for her and allow her to touch/pet him? Or has he never been a hands-on kind of Budgie with anyone?
As already mentioned, most Budgies, especially if they come from a pet shop and not a private-breeder, are parent-raised and that is why they are not at all hand-tame. I have hand-tamed probably 50 or more parent-raised Budgies from the age of 16, and though a lot of people disagree with how I do it, it works quickly, does not hurt them in any way, and is temporary (about 2 months)...and that is by clipping their wings. When you clip their wings it does 2 different things, #1 it makes them much more willing to accept you helping them, for example they hate being on the floor, so a bird who would never before step-up for you will usually step right up the first time they are on the floor and you offer your finger to them. This builds trust quickly and lets the bird know that you are trustworthy and not scary or out to hurt them...and #2 it eliminates them constantly flying away from you while you're doing hand-taming sessions, and allows them to focus on working with you...Plus it eliminates you chasing them all around the room/house, which eliminates and ruins trust quicker than anything else...

If you do decide to clip his wings/have them clipped by a professional (it is totally a personal choice to be made by only the bird's owner), you want them to only clip the outermost 5-6 Primary Flight-Feathers on BOTH wings...This will allow him to be able to glide to the floor with total control, and it will ensure that his flight-feathers will grow back-in fully in about 2 months, which means you must take full-advantage of that 2-months that you have with him by doing hand-taming/step-up training/recall-training every single day, so by the time his wings grow back-in you will have earned his trust and he will be recall-trained, so that he'll fly to you when you call him and you will never have to chase him. Also, always do your daily training sessions in a room away from his cage, as that is his "territory" and his "safe space", and if he can see it he's only going to concentrate on getting back to it the whole time...You have to get him out of his comfort zone...
 

AmyMyBlueFront

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Jonesy a Goffins 'Too who had to be rehomed :-(

And a Normal Grey Cockatiel named BB who came home with me on 5/20/2016.
How old do you think Bob is? And did your Gramma let him out of his cage at all? If you have had him for a year,I'd think that he should be used to you and his new environment by now. Maybe he just likes to do his own thing IDK. :eek:
Try opening his door and see if he ventures out. But make SURE that the room you have him in has the door closed...you wouldn't want to be chasing him around the house if he decides he wants to fly about! And make sure there are no other animals in the same room (i.e. kitty or doggo). If he does come out and perches on his door or climbs to his roof top just talk calmly to him..maybe lay a piece of millet next to him. Budgies are such darling little guys and so much fun :D



Jim
 

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