Am I doing something wrong with my cockatiel or does he just not like me? :c

Hello everyone,

I'm having some defecltes with my beloved cockatiel Kai. I got him 4 months ago from a small shop, the shop keeper said that Kai is about 6 months old, so that makes him 10 months old now. He was not tamed nor trained, his cage in the shop was not clean, lots of food, poop, and feathers on the bottom of his cage. What I found strange is that all the other cockatiels had mates except for him, he was all alone in his cage. I was also told he was not socialized with. I think because he doesn't have colorful feather or cheeks the shopkeeper kinda of neglected him :c


I've mentioned that in case it will help you in any way understand his nature. My problem with him is that he is toooo aggressive. He hisses at me a LOT and bites, now that I've clipped his wings he does it even more. I've been trying to tame him but it doesn't seem to work. The only progress we made is that he does eat from my hand and on few occasions he sat by my side or on my knee/hand.

He will not however step into my hands or let me touch him or even get close to him. and recently he's been hissing me too much and that's really making me feel bad. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I feed him well and keep him and his cage clean. I made him toys but he wouldn't play with it, I try to play with him but he doesn't respond. I talk to him a bit, my problem is I'm not a talkative person, but I do sit with him a lot.

Right now I have a weeks vocation and I want to use it to get some progress with him. Could it be that he simply just doesn't like me? And would be happy with someone else?

I really want us to bond like other birds and their owners, how do I do that? :c

Aww, it sounds like you have your work cut out for you. It can take a long time to tame some birds, especially if they haven't ever had it before. It sounds like you have made some forward progress, so I think you are moving in the right direction. In the future though, would have somebody else do his wings though, because it can be very upsetting for the birds, so you don't want him to associate it with you.

Birds are very intelligent animals, and it can take them a long time to adjust to major life changes. If he wasn't socialized or hand fed, it can make things much more difficult. I would keep siting next to his cage like you have been doing (not so close to make him uncomfortable), and try to talk to him some more. Maybe try whistling or playing some music for him. If he starts to act aggressive for scared, back off a bit. Also, bribes of food can go a long way for birds.

Does he act aggressive when he is away from his cage, or mostly by his cage?

Also, we love pictures.

Welcome to the forum, I think you are just going to have to keep working with him.....

You did mention that the shop owner told you he was not socialized.....he does not know to step up & he has not been handled, that's why he hisses & refuses to let you touch him.....it is going to take more time for him to accept being touched.....

What you might do is see if any of the pet shops in Jeddah carry millet. If they do, get a package and give him some...maybe a 1 inch piece, then, do the same thing the next day.....millet is like candy to most birds & what you are trying to do is to get Kai to want the millet. Many birds get excited when they see the millet & if you can get Kai that interested, you should be able to eventually get him to come to the back of your hand to take a smaller piece of millet.....keeping the pieces small should help with him wanting it.....if you can't find millet in KSA, it's available on the internet.....

Ned, I had 4 sun conures one time that were 2 years old & 18 months old and it took me a year to hand tame them.....I really don't think you will have that much problem, but it will take some time longer.....you still have to get him to trust you, them you have to get him to accept being handled.....

He is probably holding it against you that you took away his flight ability, but that will be short lived if the millet works.....good luck.....

I have to second weco's comment about the millet. Millet can work wonders and it's a great reward when your bird responds to you. And when he does respond, don't forget to praise him. You can also try reading out loud in a soft tone near Kai.

It already sounds like you made progress. Don't give up! Time and patience is key.

I just had another thought, has Kai started molting yet? I know my cockatiel gets a bit on the cranky side when he is molting.

Keep working with Kai. Pete my cockatiel, loved millet sprays. One of games we played w/millet spray was "peek-a-boo". Make sure you feed Kai a good nutritional pellet. Cockatiels have night frights. Pete hated to be covered at night. So I stopped. It took longer than 4 months. In time he had the most wonderful vocabulary, imitated most everything I did.KAI IS YOUNG. PETE was an older rescue who passed 3 days after Thanksgiving 2012. Please don't give up om him. You BOTH need to learn from each other

Remy said:

Aww, it sounds like you have your work cut out for you. It can take a long time to tame some birds, especially if they haven't ever had it before. It sounds like you have made some forward progress, so I think you are moving in the right direction. In the future though, would have somebody else do his wings though, because it can be very upsetting for the birds, so you don't want him to associate it with you.

Birds are very intelligent animals, and it can take them a long time to adjust to major life changes. If he wasn't socialized or hand fed, it can make things much more difficult. I would keep siting next to his cage like you have been doing (not so close to make him uncomfortable), and try to talk to him some more. Maybe try whistling or playing some music for him. If he starts to act aggressive for scared, back off a bit. Also, bribes of food can go a long way for birds.

Does he act aggressive when he is away from his cage, or mostly by his cage?

Also, we love pictures.

Click to expand...

Thanks for the help and all the tips! He only gets a bit aggressive when I try to get close him, that's when he hisses at me or go into attack mode. He is mostly quiet and keeps to himself.

weco said:

Welcome to the forum, I think you are just going to have to keep working with him.....

You did mention that the shop owner told you he was not socialized.....he does not know to step up & he has not been handled, that's why he hisses & refuses to let you touch him.....it is going to take more time for him to accept being touched.....

What you might do is see if any of the pet shops in Jeddah carry millet. If they do, get a package and give him some...maybe a 1 inch piece, then, do the same thing the next day.....millet is like candy to most birds & what you are trying to do is to get Kai to want the millet. Many birds get excited when they see the millet & if you can get Kai that interested, you should be able to eventually get him to come to the back of your hand to take a smaller piece of millet.....keeping the pieces small should help with him wanting it.....if you can't find millet in KSA, it's available on the internet.....

Ned, I had 4 sun conures one time that were 2 years old & 18 months old and it took me a year to hand tame them.....I really don't think you will have that much problem, but it will take some time longer.....you still have to get him to trust you, them you have to get him to accept being handled.....

He is probably holding it against you that you took away his flight ability, but that will be short lived if the millet works.....good luck.....

Click to expand...

I'm so glad to her about conures! I was feeling really bad cuz it mostly takes ppl two weeks or for maximum for their birds to trust them and all. Lucky for me we do have milet in Jeddah! I'll try to go tomorrow and get him some. I'll try to find a place that can cut wings for me, the vet that I went to last time said he doesn't do that :c

Thank you so much for your reply <3

Don't need to clip the wings if you do it right....

Previously hand raised cockatiel that hadn't been worked with in years so had gone "wild", as in, she didn't care for human interaction... until one morning she started following me around the room, and me being a big dummy didn't know what she wanted. She even had to land on me a couple of times before she got the point across... she wanted to be "hand fed"!

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q88bN30qOjo]Sunshine in the Morning - YouTube[/ame]


Which led to another tiel demanding the same behavior. I don't know if she was hand raised or not (I think she was, but having at least three homes prior to mine and no information about her past shared with her other owners, I can't say)

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9w9w8nMRmw]Hesitant Faye - YouTube[/ame]


In time, this tiel became quite confident in demanding this kind of interaction, where she'd follow me around the room or keep a keen eye on me until I put food out in my hand (didn't matter if food was available in the dishes, it wasn't in my hand!)

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rH9ZWxhCSAE]Not So Hesitant Faye - YouTube[/ame]


Which lead to feeding other cockatiels by hand, including a very skittish male that wanted nothing to do with me. He got to the point that he felt confident enough to fly to me without any food being present, and even landing on me - something I thought he'd never do, but he did. He is the second cockatiel shown in the video, and I'm pretty sure he was parent raised!

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjKmHswgiHs]Cockatiel Feeding - April 24th - YouTube[/ame]




BTW, is he aggressive or afraid? If he's aggressive, he's going out of his way to attack you. If he's afraid, it's when you "shove" your presence in his area and he becomes upset because his "safe" area is being invaded. This may also include trying to avoid you as you get closer.

Niner10Tango said:

I have to second weco's comment about the millet. Millet can work wonders and it's a great reward when your bird responds to you. And when he does respond, don't forget to praise him. You can also try reading out loud in a soft tone near Kai.

It already sounds like you made progress. Don't give up! Time and patience is key.

Click to expand...

So I only use the millet when he does good things?
What about in the beginning?

Niner10Tango said:

I just had another thought, has Kai started molting yet? I know my cockatiel gets a bit on the cranky side when he is molting.

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IDK what molting is! Whats that?

jendaymumma said:

Keep working with Kai. Pete my cockatiel, loved millet sprays. One of games we played w/millet spray was "peek-a-boo". Make sure you feed Kai a good nutritional pellet. Cockatiels have night frights. Pete hated to be covered at night. So I stopped. It took longer than 4 months. In time he had the most wonderful vocabulary, imitated most everything I did.KAI IS YOUNG. PETE was an older rescue who passed 3 days after Thanksgiving 2012. Please don't give up om him. You BOTH need to learn from each other

Click to expand...

I love peek-a-boo!! I'll be trying that with him insha'Allah! I think I'm feeding him will, I give him vegs and he loves it.
I tried fruits but he didn't even go near it. Can I ask what you mean by vocabulary? I though cockatiels don't speak!

I really love Kai so I wouldn't give up on him, I get a sense that he likes me but hes just trying to protect himself,
so I know this just needs lots of time.

I have another question(s), Kai seems to umm.. be around his reflection a lot, like if he sees his reflection on my PC screen or TV he will sit still beside it.
I'm thinking that's bad, right? I sometimes cover my screen or put post-it's on the surface so he wont get 'attached' to his own reflection thinking its another bird!

Kai also eats his own poop :c It was sooo bad when I first got him, but I kept making sure his cage is clean then after like 2 months and a half
he kicked the habit, but he still does it sometimes. Am I not feeding him as much as he needs?

MonicaMc - I loved your videos! I especially loved to see the progress Faye made, how long did it take for her to trust that much?

MonicaMc said:

Don't need to clip the wings if you do it right....

Previously hand raised cockatiel that hadn't been worked with in years so had gone "wild", as in, she didn't care for human interaction... until one morning she started following me around the room, and me being a big dummy didn't know what she wanted. She even had to land on me a couple of times before she got the point across... she wanted to be "hand fed"!

Sunshine in the Morning - YouTube


Which led to another tiel demanding the same behavior. I don't know if she was hand raised or not (I think she was, but having at least three homes prior to mine and no information about her past shared with her other owners, I can't say)

Hesitant Faye - YouTube


In time, this tiel became quite confident in demanding this kind of interaction, where she'd follow me around the room or keep a keen eye on me until I put food out in my hand (didn't matter if food was available in the dishes, it wasn't in my hand!)

Not So Hesitant Faye - YouTube


Which lead to feeding other cockatiels by hand, including a very skittish male that wanted nothing to do with me. He got to the point that he felt confident enough to fly to me without any food being present, and even landing on me - something I thought he'd never do, but he did. He is the second cockatiel shown in the video, and I'm pretty sure he was parent raised!

Cockatiel Feeding - April 24th - YouTube




BTW, is he aggressive or afraid? If he's aggressive, he's going out of his way to attack you. If he's afraid, it's when you "shove" your presence in his area and he becomes upset because his "safe" area is being invaded. This may also include trying to avoid you as you get closer.

Click to expand...

I'm really glad to hear there's no need to clip his wings! Its just was recommend to me a LOT so I thought it was what right. I probably won't clip him again.

I'm glad to hear about the progress you made with your tiels, do you have any suggestions for me?

Thanks for clearing up the whole being 'aggressive' thing! From what you said he is not aggressive at all!
He is just afraid and doesn't want me in his own space.

First video of Faye was taken May 6th, 2008 and the second taken Dec 31st, 2010. Now that may seem like a long time, but honestly, it didn't take that long! It's usually about 1-2 months time to get them comfortable enough to fly to my hand for food, if that! I think Pistachio took 2-3 weeks once I started this same behavior with him. The second video was taken after I stopped feeding them by hand, but on December 25th, Faye got a little upset with me that I stopped it, so she demanded it once again! LOL


Ned, you can use millet, regular food, or anything your tiel enjoys! Molting is when a bird starts losing feathers and those are replaced with new feathers... kind of like when a dog starts shedding their fur or when a snake sheds it's skin... only birds lose only a "few" feathers at a time! When I say a few, what I really mean is that once a bird starts molting, it can look like a miniature feather pillow exploded! During a regular molt, a bird should not have any bare spots showing.

Cockatiels can learn to talk, or at least imitate the human speech. I had a previous male who could wolf whistle and say "Pretty Bird" and "Hi Kirby!" if I recall right. I now have a hen who whistles but does not talk (even though the whistle sounds like she's saying "pretty bird").


Many cockatiels love to see their reflection, but I recommend avoiding it, as some birds can become aggressive when they are around their reflection. What they fail to realize is that it's not another bird, just a mirror image of themselves.

As for poop eating? There's a lot of discussions as to why they do that, most often diet or supplement related. You can try a variety of diet changes and supplements, but you might never figure out if he is in fact missing something from his diet... so it may be best to just make sure the cage is cleaned daily!

I'm really glad to hear there's no need to clip his wings! Its just was recommend to me a LOT so I thought it was what right. I probably won't clip him again.

Click to expand...

That's what most people recommend, because that's what most people believe needs to be done. Clipping them makes it easier to catch them and force them to be with you. It makes it harder for the birds to escape, thus you can use flooding techniques on them. These techniques could break their spirit and it's not something I can recommend anymore now that I've learned that there are other ways to train. What I recommend is to try and make every interaction with your bird a positive one. The more the bird enjoys spending time with you, the more the bird will want to be with you. This is where feeding them by hand (whatever they are willing to eat from your hand) comes into play. From there, you can start teaching them various behaviors that you want them to do, such as step up. It's working with the bird on the basis of trust and not forcing them to do something if they don't want to. Try and teach your bird what you want him to do rather than forcing him into the behavior.

Thanks for clearing up the whole being 'aggressive' thing! From what you said he is not aggressive at all!

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It's a common misconception that parrots are aggressive when they lash out at us for us invading their area. It's one thing to have a parrot go out of it's way to attack you, it's a completely different one when we are going after them and they find our behavior threatening to them. When you realize the difference, IMO, it makes working with them easier, because you can then learn to better understand your bird and why your bird does the things that he or she does. I have also found that many owners are willing to have more patience once they realize this.


With my tiels, I fed them first thing in the morning before I changed out their dishes for fresh food. If they weren't interested in eating from my hand, I didn't care, I didn't force them to. Whoever wanted to eat from my hand could, and by the time they were done, I would refresh the food dishes and repeat the same thing the next morning. Over time, the birds who didn't eat from my hands became curious enough to do so because the others were doing it as well. Monkey see, monkey do! It got to a point that even when I had food dishes out with fresh food, some birds were still more interested in eating from my hand than the dishes. Given the choice, they preferred me.



I originally did it with 5 adult budgies, all flighted, and had had no plans on doing the same behavior with the cockatiels, but since one demanded it, I wasn't going to refuse her, and it went from there!

Thank you so much Monica! Your reply helped me a lot <3

Molting is when birds lose feathers and new ones grow in. You will know if Kai is molting with all the feathers around the cage floor. My little guy has been molting for almost three weeks now.

Millet is a good treat to work with while training. If Kai should hop on your finger after you tell him to step up, give him a small piece of millet for a reward. You need to earn Kai's trust. It's going to take some time, but keep working with him.

Sometimes birds do eat their own droppings. It's normal. I usually feed my tiel pellet in the morning and in the afternoon, I give him seed along with veggies like cilantro, romaine lettuce and kale. I use millet as a treat, about once or twice a week.

Niner10Tango said:

Molting is when birds lose feathers and new ones grow in. You will know if Kai is molting with all the feathers around the cage floor. My little guy has been molting for almost three weeks now.

Millet is a good treat to work with while training. If Kai should hop on your finger after you tell him to step up, give him a small piece of millet for a reward. You need to earn Kai's trust. It's going to take some time, but keep working with him.

Sometimes birds do eat their own droppings. It's normal. I usually feed my tiel pellet in the morning and in the afternoon, I give him seed along with veggies like cilantro, romaine lettuce and kale. I use millet as a treat, about once or twice a week.

Click to expand...

I read about molting, I think he might be molting but I'm not sure. Yesterday there was a feather
and couple of days before there was another feather. Does that count as molting?

Ned said:

Niner10Tango said:

Molting is when birds lose feathers and new ones grow in. You will know if Kai is molting with all the feathers around the cage floor. My little guy has been molting for almost three weeks now.

Millet is a good treat to work with while training. If Kai should hop on your finger after you tell him to step up, give him a small piece of millet for a reward. You need to earn Kai's trust. It's going to take some time, but keep working with him.

Sometimes birds do eat their own droppings. It's normal. I usually feed my tiel pellet in the morning and in the afternoon, I give him seed along with veggies like cilantro, romaine lettuce and kale. I use millet as a treat, about once or twice a week.

Click to expand...

I read about molting, I think he might be molting but I'm not sure. Yesterday there was a feather
and couple of days before there was another feather. Does that count as molting?

Click to expand...

It could possibly be the start of the molt. If you see more feathers falling to the bottom of the cage, most definitely. My bird has been molting for more than two weeks now. It's totally natural and my bird does this a couple times of year, mainly just before spring and in the fall as the winter months approach. I know my tiel gets on the cranky and somewhat quiet side during his molt.

i have 1 cockatiel like that his name is max . dont rush him, just take him out of his cage and lay down with him ,the first step to training is trust but if you cant get him or her out of the cage give him a food he likes my birds like apples but your bird may not .birds love shiny things i have a necklace just for my birds. a bird also will loose or pluck feathers if it is bored or stressed i put small peices of skiny colored inch sized paper at the bottom of the cage and some under the bedding ok.

Ned said:

I think because he doesn't have colorful feather or cheeks the shopkeeper kinda of neglected him :c

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You have a white-face, Ned, here in Australia where the cockatiel originated, white-faces are more expensive than other types. So they are special. We have a white-face hen, hand-raised but sometimes aggressive (especially in spring). The hissing can be a sign of fear, we have two hand-raised cockatiels and the spangled boy often hisses and pecks at the cage when he's uncovered in the morning. Later, when he's let out for a fly, he can't wait to get on my or my wife's shoulder and come down for a scratch and a cuddle. He doesn't mind being completely covered in two hands- but the white-face girl drops her head for a scratch but bites if you don't scratch her properly. Yet, when she's uncovered in the morning she's quiet, goes to the shoulder, and chuckles when she hears my kissing noises. I rarely actually kiss her though, that can result in bloody lips So birds can vary quite markedly in character- we've had other 'tiels which were different again from the two "inside birds" we have at the moment.

Other posters have suggested music, many birds enjoy it although not at high volumes (I play with speakers, as I build them, and Ziggy the spangled 'tiel still wants to be with me- but gets startled by certain notes, crest goes up etc). In the wild they would be in a noisy flock of dozens or hundreds of birds ('tiel flocks don't seem to be as big as some other species) so you can help by making your own noise and he'll recognise you as part of his flock. Another thing is to be considered with movement, especially of the hands as too much waving around, fast movement etc can startle them. In other words, gently does it Good luck.