Ducky has become more distant toward me

So, in these past few weeks Kermit has really come around. He’s become much more trusting, looks forward to his training, and has even become a little cuddle bug. He now loves to sit on my shoulder and nuzzle up against my face and close his eyes. He crawls into my hand and nestles in comfortably while I give him scritches, inching closer if I pull my hand away. He lets me grab him by the body and pick him up, flip him onto his back while he clenches my thumb, and he lets me spread out his wings. This is tremendous progress given that just a couple months ago he didn’t like being touched at all!

Lately, I’ve been spending more time with Kermit than with Ducky. Ducky has been such a good girl and sits quietly on the tree stand preening while I give Kermit attention. However, I’ve noticed that she’s also become more distant toward me. Before I take Kermit out, I try to take Ducky out first to spend some one-on-one time with her. She’s been flying away from me recently and has preferred just doing her own thing. She doesn’t seem interested in sitting with me and cuddling anymore. She is starting to lunge at me and at times doesn’t even want to step up, and doesn’t ask for scritches very much. She used to do it all the time, but now she lunges at me when I try to put my hand near her. Or I’ll be scritching her one moment and she’ll lunge at me the next, and I’m not really sure what she wants.

Ducky always lights up when I have treats, and she’ll eagerly step up for me if she knows I have millet. But if I don’t have treats, she doesn’t want to go on me. She used to fly to me all the time and she was happy to step up because she knew she would get to spend some quality time with me. I don’t think she’s afraid of my hands because she’ll step up and fly to me on command for treats. I feel like I’m losing her bond and I want her old self back! What should I do?

Well, technically you are the one that cheated in the relationship by courting another bird ...
so if you want her back you will have to work for it.


Find out what Ducky wants and (just as important) when she wants it and go from there?


(If I want to get a macawbite I just have to pay a lot of attention to the greys first thing in the morning ... just saying. The only way to make it up to her is to spend the exact same amount of time giving her my full attention and some hands-on immediately after "straying" and she might forgive me for being a daft human who simple cannot prioritize propperly. And the greys were here first!)

It's pretty simple in her mind, you're not spending much time with her at all, and you're spending all your time with the evil Conure...That's what happens when you start spending most of your free time with one bird and not the other, because she doesn't know why you were doing what you were doing or understand it, all she knows is she used to get a lot of attention from you and now she hardly gets any because you're always with the Conure...So...

Now that you've got Kermit trained and tame, you need to start concentrating on the Cockatiel again, at least a 50/50 split...She'll come around again, but you're going to have to make an effort...And treats are the quickest way to make progress...

I have now 4 conures, let me tell you that usually I will have one or 2 birds who are obsessed with me and 1 or 2 birds who are like "whatever mom, leave me alone" and it changes constantly.