I need moral support.

SirEdwin89

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Mar 5, 2016
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Confetti (9y/o CAG), Ely (5 y/o Citron SC2), Barney (3 y/o MSC2), Baby (21 y/o Senegal), Peaches (16 y/o M2)
Conan (26 y/o Harlequin Macaw)
So, I have to admit I'm really struggling with Ely, and it's starting to get in my head. I love my little guy, and I know there is an amazing fid underneath the baggage, but I'm still struggling with discouragement the past few days. If anyone but myself tries to go anywhere near Ely, he flips out and attacks, so it's been almost impossible for kember to work with him at all. On top of that, he has a serious habit of displacement biting if I do have him out and anything or anyone comes in to the same room as us. And I think that's the part that's the biggest struggle.

I've got a high pain tolerance, but When ely bites, it's like he goes all in regardless of the reason. And it's never just a quick bite, he grabs pulls so he can grab more skin, and then starts grinding his beak. His most recent bite he ripped about a quarter sized piece of flesh off of my forearm. Significant enough I had to get it stitched closed.

And it's like every new time something triggers a bite, it gets more severe. And as much as I hate to admit it, Ito starting to affect my nerves especially when I'm trying to work with him.
I don't really know if there wasa ton of a point as a topic, or even a specific question, I'm just feeling very defeated as a Parrontt right now. Because my own head is starting to get in the way of my obligations.
 

Dopey

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I haven't read all of your posts but please don't let Ely out of his cage for a while. You need to work with him in his cage. Let others talk to him and work with him in his cage as well. In a couple of weeks try it again. You can still love your too even if he is in a cage.

Do not let this too get into your head. Sometimes we have to take a step back and go forward again.
 

GraciesMom

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Apr 9, 2016
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I have zero 'too experience but I did want to pass on a hug and tell you even when it doesn't feel like it your dedication and caring for Ely still has a positive impact.

The only advice I can give when things get too into my head is to take a step back and reanalyze the situation at the very least give yourself a mental, physical & emotional break. Don't put too much pressure or expectations on yourself or Ely it's only been a couple of weeks & it sounds like you have made progress even if it doesn't feel like it.

If I recall correctly wasn't Ely the one that had recently bounced between a few homes & had scared the last owner with biting? Maybe someone with 'too experience can chime in but to me it would think his lil parrot mind is probably reeling at all of the instability in his life lately and he sounds like he learned to get folks to back off with a well placed bite. House, cage, toy, food, people changes etc. etc. over and over have to have a really bad effect on a parrots psyche.. heck on anyone/anythings for that matter.

I'd reckon he hasn't figured out yet that he's landed in a safe place & he isn't ready to trust or depend on it since nothing in his past has shown he can.

I think if you are making headway and building trust with Ely in your one on one sessions but they are turning bad whenever anyone else enters the room I'd limit everyone's access to the area you are spending time with him in when he's out of cage to avoid losing that ground and at least give you both some solid positive ground to work with. I'm thinking you then have a better shot of helping Ely adjust to the others once you've been able to better establish that trust. Have the time others spend with him be when he in his cage, maybe after he's worn off some energy or when you notice he's in a calm happy mood sounds like a good idea.

Again.. really no experience with 'too's I'm just going by what I would do & brain storm some thoughts.
 

Terry57

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I also have not had any recent too experience, but completely agree with everything that Kelly said.
I think you are a wonderful parront, and we all feel defeated sometimes. It is so incredibly hard to take on a Fid with massive amounts of baggage, and I applaud you for all you are doing.
Hoping someone with too experience will come on and have some more ideas for you.
 

RavensGryf

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Jan 19, 2014
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That's a hard and unpleasant situation. I really feel for you. I second the advice already given. If you endure this, I believe it is going to take baby steps over much time. Some steps forward, some steps back, without getting discouraged? It is very hard. A Too who needs rehab is one of the most challenging for parronts to face. I wish you a ton of luck. I'm sure some seasoned Too people or experienced rehabbers will chime in shortly.
 

Tsali

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Oh man, I am so very sorry — sending lots of healing hugs for both of you. At some point I think we all feel like we are :headwall:. I wish I had some miracle advice, but alas I don’t as I have no experience with ‘toos. It sounds like you are doing your very best for this ungrateful heathen:smile003:. Remember that he is a not a domestic animal, but a wild one with ancestors not far removed from the wild. They are hard wired to be fearful of new things in general.

If it were me, I would avoid any activity that might trigger a bite. It would be tragic if biting became such a solid behavior that it would be a major problem to change. Perhaps some clicker training with him in his cage (for everyone’s safety) might help. You can always drop a treat into his food cup to keep everyone safe.

:33:Is it possible that he is maturing and going through some hormonal issues — and just asserting his dominance?
 

plumsmum2005

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Fly free Plum, my gorgeous boy.
I am sorry for what you are experiencing and can feel your frustration. Sometimes it is necessary to just get out and walk off that negativity and think through what actually happened, clear your head. I feel Ely is showing nervousness and also dominance and the rest of the family need to work on building trust with him. I hope the bites are not changing your stance with him as that needs to be strong and firm. He will run rings round you otherwise. Cockatoos test you to the limit on occasions.
 

PetoftheDay

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Dec 27, 2010
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Just sending you love and support - and I have some bandaids I could send! Try to imagine a year from now, this is a really hard patch, but you will get through it. Sending hugs for you, and respectful skritches for Ely.
 
OP
SirEdwin89

SirEdwin89

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@Kelly: Yes you remember correctly (good memory!) And I think solo training sessions for a while are probably a great idea. I was hoping having him out with me while the family was around would help him to realize they aren't a threat, but all the bites affecting my confidence isn't going to help anyone.

@Tsali: Ely is around 5-6, so yes hormonal changes are definitely a possibility. And I love the head on a brick wall emoji LOL, that's definitely how I was feeling yesterday when I made the topic.

@Plum: I'm doing my best not to let the bites change my stance with him. I'd like to think I'm maintaining my stance as far as *he* is concerned. I know how important the consistency on that front is, but I don't know how well he is picking up on the fact that I'm definitely a little on edge when I have him out now. Probably more than I realize unfortunately, but honestly I'm not sure what to do to counter that. I mean, how do you keep them from realizing you are nervous with them after they get you to the point where you start getting nervous with them.

The macho person in me wants to be like "psshhh, im not concerned with the pain from some bite". But the not so macho person in me is starting to be like "Pssssh speak for yourself that crap HURTS".

And thanks everyone in general, the support and empathy means a lot. Nice to know I at least have one support net out there when I need it.
 

LeaKP

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I'm not a too expert by any stretch of the imagination - it seems that the tech support, er, too support, has hit the nail on the head. I expect to hear better news in the days to come!
 

Allee

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I'm so sorry Ely is intent on taking a pound of flesh! I was hoping you would have an easier transition. I don't hear it mentioned often or at all but some newly rescued birds are angry, I'm not attributing human emotions here, but the term, 'angry birds', applies. Sometimes they stay angry for a while. It isn't easy to gain the trust of a Too, of course it happens sometimes and that's fantastic, often it takes much longer. Macho has nothing to do with it, when a Too delivers a serious bite, it hurts, I don't care who you are. It isn't easy to interact with them when you are almost certain it could happen again. As the others have said, take a step back, make some minor routine changes, choose your time to interact and keep the sessions short. For the time being, I wouldn't allow anyone else in the area to trigger displaced biting. Show Ely affection, but not up close and personal. Sometimes if you stop trying so hard, they will have a change of heart and solicit positive attention rather than stalking you. I hope things take a turn for the better soon, I feel your pain, and Ely's.
 

Scott

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I agree with all of the previous advice. Despite being owned by many species of Toos, your experience is out of my league.

The fact Ely is capable of inflicting serious damage is going to drive your efforts to rehabilitate him. For now I would minimize but not eliminate physical contact and do so without other folks around. Perhaps taking him to a previously unknown part of your residence will minimize one aspect of dominance. If he is hormonal or even moulting, that would be a sign to take it even slower. Don't remember if Ely has been to the vet for a baseline exam and blood panel?

Hang in there, it can be a long road, but hopefully a wonderful bird will emerge!
 

kasberger

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Oct 16, 2012
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I feel for you, im going through the same situation with my lesser sulfur Marvin, my last bite was so bad i had puddles of blood all over my living room. I seriously dont know what to do anymore. My husband just doesn't understand me and my birds, he wants Marvin gone. We also have a CAG and an Amazon. All the cages are in our living room, Marvin is about 6 years old, i am slowly working with him but one step forward and 2 back, i feel like a failure Marvin is my baby our relationship was so awesome, but now its gone. Good luck and keep posting your progress.
 

Teknogeddon

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Hope it gets better. Are gloves and long sleeves out of the question? D: Gosh that sounds painful.
 

Violet_Diva

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Sounds like you need some positives to balance out the negatives here. Im sorry you're having such nasty bites going on at the mo. Im sure you can and will get past this!

I'd definitely recommend doing some work with him while he's in his cage. It will make you more confident and relaxed during any training sessions and hopefully all the positive reinforcements will help both of you. As you know, the more relaxed and confident you are, the less likely it is that you will be bitten.

Bella was very bitey, obviously she's not a 'too, but I got her to go to different locations in the cage and touch a chopstick. Every time she went where I indicated she got treats, each time she touched the stick gently upon my request she got treats.

All the rewards and positive reinforcement meant that I was becoming less fearful of her striking out and more confident in her and our relationship. Then I started to have the door of her cage open and included the perches on the inside of her door as locations to request (so she's kinda in the room), then the java tree, etc, gradually we built up to where I switched out the chopstick for my finger so now I can confidently touch her beak or get her to touch my finger with her beak. This particular method may work.

Don't loose heart. Take a deep breath - You can get through this!
 

AmyMyBlueFront

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And a Normal Grey Cockatiel named BB who came home with me on 5/20/2016.
My only experience with a 'too was with The Cockatoo Man,and that didn't even last a year :eek:

I FEEL your pain!! no,REALLY! Jonesy turned into a flesh eater, literally,blood squirtin' everywhere. My sanity went right out the window.

I have no useful tips for you,sorry.

Jim
 
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SirEdwin89

SirEdwin89

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Mar 5, 2016
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Confetti (9y/o CAG), Ely (5 y/o Citron SC2), Barney (3 y/o MSC2), Baby (21 y/o Senegal), Peaches (16 y/o M2)
Conan (26 y/o Harlequin Macaw)
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I'd almost forgotten about this topic! I'm quite happy to say that Ely and I have had some really fantastic progress since it was originally posted. The displacement biting is still a problem, but we are getting to a point that the family can at least be in the same room with me when I have him out, so long as no one makes any sudden movements towards me.

For the most part I've been able to avoid bad bites now, just by highly regulating the environment when he is out with me. Of course, I still get it whenever we have a "test" to see how close people can safely get to me. But at least then I'm prepped for it and know it's coming.

He is also starting to somewhat warm up with my oldest daughter as long as he is in the cage. He will come press against the bars so she can pet his head. He still lunges at everyone else when he is out and about on his cage or a playstand though. And he still doesn't really give warning bites, just jumps straight to death bites.

We still have a *long* way to go, long long long ways, especially till he is at the point I'm hoping he will one day get too. I'd like to be able to take him out and about, but right now the risk to myself is just too high to ever have him in the "un-known".

And Kasberger, if this has taught me anything, it's not to lose hope! and that sometimes, it's best to take a step back. Ely still gets in to my head from time to time, and that's when I take those extra steps back to get out of my own head a bit. I really do think that whether we hide it or not from *our* perspective, that anxiety is still picked up on and has a massive impact on the birds.

I know one thing that also really helped for me, was working with him sitting on the couch with one of those massive bead-spreads in my lap and kind of coming up to about my chest. It is solid enough that he feels secure, my arms are still free to work with him, but it offers me a nice thick bite shield for the rest of me. And, I can get my arms in behind it pretty darn quickly as well. It really helped to cut down on my own feelings a bit, I stopped being concerned about the possible incoming bites entirely, and it had a pretty impressive impact on him when I had no concerns with him.
 

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