I Need Advice!

So, I need some advice about Gracie. She has been here a week and has been wonderful and loving to me for the first 5 days. My husband stays home on the weekend and pays a bunch of attention to her since he doesn't get to see her during the week much. Now she is acting terrified of me. She's jumpy and jittery again and won't even let me near the cage without cowering in fear. What happened? She was singing with me and dancing and talking to me all week before this.

This is a link to your welcome post as her background may be helpful to understand for members giving advice: http://www.parrotforums.com/new-members-welcome/66783-new-bird-mommy.html

Gracie came to you with a lot of "baggage" from an abusive home. Cockatoos are extremely observant and intelligent, so you can be sure she is constantly comparing and contrasting in her own way.

Can you think of any changes since you rescued Gracie? I am wondering if your husband's schedule is confusing her? Parrots will often "choose" their favored person, and she may be in the process of deciding. Parrot psychology is far less understood than that of humans, but you can be sure there are parallels. This does NOT mean Gracie will be a one-person bird, but she may be confused in these early days.

As Scott so well stated, these early days are commonly filled with the ebb and flow of the relationship. It is why it is so important to work at their rate.

It is not unusual to have to start-over in building a new relationship several times.

Hello, welcome to the forum! I'm trying to get an understanding of what exactly happened and when. So basically you spent the first week alone with Gracie and everything was great. Then the weekend came and your husband was suddenly home for two entire days in a row, and now she's terrified of you and everything else? Is that correct?

I'm going to finish reading her history now, I just wanted to get that answer from you as soon as I could, if you can pinpoint the moment her behavior changed it would be helpful. How did she act during the week towards your husband when he got home from work in the evenings? Did he have contact with her when he got home in the evenings, or did he not have much contact with her until the weekend started? Did her behavior change immediately on the weekend, like as soon as she realized your husband was going to be there and wasn't leaving, or was it later on or perhaps the following weekday when he was gone again and she was now again home with you only?

Cockatoos are so intelligent and so very sensitive, they are literally like a 4-5 year old child intellectually and emotionally. They have a very strong short and long-term memory, and they don't seem to ever forget much. I used to always kind of snicker when I would read an ad for someone that was rehoming their bird and they made the statement "He does better with men" or "She does not at all like men", etc. I always would kind of laugh to myself and say "No, she just doesn't like you, lol". But I have since seen a lot of examples of birds, specifically larger parrots like cockatoos and macaws that will be with a group of men and are just the sweetest birds, it didn't matter how many men would walk in the room the bird was just wonderful. Then as soon as any woman would even walk into the room the bird would turn into a terrified little monster, visibly frightened to death and biting and attacking everyone near them. So trying to understand her past life and compare this past trauma to her current situation and behavioral problems/sudden changes is the key to figuring out the who, what, when, where, and why to what can very much be a puzzle.

Sent from my XT1575 using Tapatalk

I agree with the above posters, and it could be anything that started the way the Gracie is reacting. As Ellen said parrots never forget. It could even be a color you were wearing that reminded her of a bad experience. If it were I, I would sit and read to Gracie quietly even if she is upset at first. Also when you are in the room with her put on some soft music. Cockatoos and other parrots can pick one person to bond with, it can also depends on how they were raised for instants not enough contact with different people but that shouldn't make her afraid of you. Just keep talking to her and working with her and ignore her fear.

I have a rose breasted cockatoo who is bonded with my husband, if he hasn't spent enough time with him he gets cross and wanted to bite me, I dodge the bite and talk to him carry on as normal. He forgets he is annoyed and starts whistling.

I also have an amazon who doesn't like me at all but loves men, any man. I can't handle him but he does chat away with me. When I hand him a treat he just snatches it off me. You get to know their ways and you fit in with them, it just takes time.