Sassy is TERRIFIED of me

Matt_Sassy

New member
May 16, 2020
49
1
Sarasota
Parrots
Sassy - 8 Year old cockatoo
Guaco - 8 month Greencheek (Pineapple)
Hello all. I've had sassy for about 9 months now, she's turning 9 in a month. In those 9 months I learned so much about my cockatoo and so much more about myself. There have been ups and downs. I'm missing half my bedframe now but that's okay, because I truly love her. We would take her to the parks, shopping centers, pet stores she LOVED it and she LOVED me. She'd always prefer to be near my wife but also preferred to be near me as a second go to when wifey wasn't home or when she was scared (ie car rides or thunderstorms). She was an ultimate companion. We did everything together.

Last week I shaved my head bald to enjoy that winter wind chill. Suddenly she FLEES in terror when ever i'm around. Won't talk/sing to me. Won't even let me touch her or put her to bed. It hurts me emotionally because I know I just want to be near her but her running around to get away from me is stressing her out. I've tried wearing a hat even a wig. She still acts like I'm a threat to her so bad that she'd rather flee than defend herself. She used to come out of her cage DAILY and only be in her cage when it was nini time or we were both away. Infact, she would scream until she was let out, now she only screams when my wife leaves the room. She only comes out when my wife is home. Any ideas on what is going on?
 

Scott

Supporting Member
Aug 21, 2010
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San Diego, California USA, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
Parrots
Goffins: Gabby, Abby, Squeaky, Peanut, Popcorn / Citron: Alice / Eclectus: Angel /Timneh Grey: ET / Blue Fronted Amazon: Gonzo /

RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.
Not unusual for sensitive cockatoos to notice the smallest possible change and literally freak out when something unusual occurs. Seems she is horrified by your sudden baldness - please understand I am not criticizing you for an unforeseen reaction.

Hopefully Sassy will observe your hair regrow to previous state and understand you are the "same" person. Of course that takes a while and you will naturally feel deprived of her companionship.

Might attempt a reset of the bond and regain trust by going back to basics. Sit in the same room and gently talk or read to her. If acceptable, move progressively closer to the point where she tolerates your presence more readily. You'll need to get creative, perhaps opening the cage and giving her favorite treats. Don't rush the process or you'll risk significant setbacks.
 

noodles123

Well-known member
Jul 11, 2018
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Umbrella Cockatoo- 15? years old..I think?
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JohnH

Active member
Dec 23, 2016
175
95
Parrots
Sulphur crested cockatoo
My cockatoo has a similar reaction when i shave my beard or the hair on my head. Been bit on the cheek, nose, ears and hands so many times. I bring her in the bathroom with me when i shave now. Still no guarantee i won't get bit. It takes about a week for her to get used to my new appearance. I have to be extra careful when cleaning her cage during that time. Bribing her with treats helps ease her anxiety.
 
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Matt_Sassy

New member
May 16, 2020
49
1
Sarasota
Parrots
Sassy - 8 Year old cockatoo
Guaco - 8 month Greencheek (Pineapple)
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noodles123

Well-known member
Jul 11, 2018
8,145
472
Parrots
Umbrella Cockatoo- 15? years old..I think?
She needs to get used to you. Act like you are back at day 1 and start rebuilding trust. Read in the room but don't push it-- don't approach if she is scared. Keep your distance and let her watch you etc...Don't do anything extra to stress her out.

How old is she btw?

Also-- https://videos.dailymail.co.uk/vide.../2014/09/15/1418450360_3785091853001_baby.mp4 (the parrot feels the same way lol)

as stated in the post she's 9

missed it-sorry
 

ParrotGenie

Member
Jan 10, 2019
946
19
Indiana
Parrots
2 umbrella Cockatoos One male named Cooper and female named Baby 1 Little Corella male named Frankie and have 5 Cockatiels three named Male named Pepper, Fiesco for the female and female named Wylie.
Same here when I shaved my head, or any major changes to looks. My Male u2 will step up but usually bites then after a few minutes he will realizes that it me and is back to normal. My female u2 not a issue as she likely figures it's me by voice. It just depends on the bird. Usually they will figure it is you pretty quickly.
 

mica21493

Active member
Dec 12, 2019
138
47
Eastern Pennsylvania
Parrots
Bebee - Blue and Gold Macaw,
Little Bird - Goffins Cockatoo,
Mica and Daffy, greatly missed
Is this something more common in cockatoos? My Goffins will attack me furiously through the cage bars if my hair is down or my glasses off. No matter how many times I’ve done the hair up/down or glasses on/off in front of her and giving treats, it hasn’t changed her response yet. I am still trying.
I really hope you and Sassy are doing better.
 

Laurasea

Well-known member
Aug 2, 2018
12,593
10,702
USA
Parrots
Full house
I've had bumps in the road over tge years with my birds.

Hand feeding bribe treats, and lots of sweet talking seems to work on smoothing things out :)
 

WhiteFlight

Member
Parrot of the Month 🏆
Aug 20, 2020
237
28
Dallas, Texas
Parrots
Meisha: Umbrella Cockatoo | Female | 03/09/1989 Hatch Date
You might consider interacting with her in low light or no light. She'll get over it.

I have an experience in contrast for you. Year ago, I was on a tight schedule to pickup my son from his Taekwando class, complicated as Meisha goes to work with me daily. No time to swing by the house, I took her with me. Sitting when the session ended in the large open room, the quiet reformed environment erupted into a state of chaos with parents visiting and chatting as though on cue and kids being noisy kids while abandoning their disciplined structured positions into a cross flow. I could see Meisha, spinning up in excitement, not expecting her to do what she did. She bolted, flying close to the ceiling. Flew right to the Grandmaster, landing on his shoulder. He was bald.
 

JohnH

Active member
Dec 23, 2016
175
95
Parrots
Sulphur crested cockatoo
:18:
You might consider interacting with her in low light or no light. She'll get over it.

I have an experience in contrast for you. Year ago, I was on a tight schedule to pickup my son from his Taekwando class, complicated as Meisha goes to work with me daily. No time to swing by the house, I took her with me. Sitting when the session ended in the large open room, the quiet reformed environment erupted into a state of chaos with parents visiting and chatting as though on cue and kids being noisy kids while abandoning their disciplined structured positions into a cross flow. I could see Meisha, spinning up in excitement, not expecting her to do what she did. She bolted, flying close to the ceiling. Flew right to the Grandmaster, landing on his shoulder. He was bald.

That is funny.:18:
 

noodles123

Well-known member
Jul 11, 2018
8,145
472
Parrots
Umbrella Cockatoo- 15? years old..I think?
:18:
You might consider interacting with her in low light or no light. She'll get over it.

I have an experience in contrast for you. Year ago, I was on a tight schedule to pickup my son from his Taekwando class, complicated as Meisha goes to work with me daily. No time to swing by the house, I took her with me. Sitting when the session ended in the large open room, the quiet reformed environment erupted into a state of chaos with parents visiting and chatting as though on cue and kids being noisy kids while abandoning their disciplined structured positions into a cross flow. I could see Meisha, spinning up in excitement, not expecting her to do what she did. She bolted, flying close to the ceiling. Flew right to the Grandmaster, landing on his shoulder. He was bald.

That is funny.:18:

Noodles is not pleased if I try to interact with her in no light-she cannot see me...at all...and gets scared. It is instinctual lol!!! There would be a lot of hissing. Even in low-light, her behavior changes (either to hormonal or loud bed-time mode---and either way, it messes with them)..Hormones and immune health/behavior go hand-in-hand, so I'd definitely wait it out in normal lighting.

Low light is questionable to me (funny as it is!!) because it dysregulates their light cycles and they have fairly poor night vision to begin with, so you could end up looking even weirder in bird's eyes, plus trick your bird into thinking it was a different time of day or stimulating hormones.
 

WhiteFlight

Member
Parrot of the Month 🏆
Aug 20, 2020
237
28
Dallas, Texas
Parrots
Meisha: Umbrella Cockatoo | Female | 03/09/1989 Hatch Date
:18:
You might consider interacting with her in low light or no light. She'll get over it.

I have an experience in contrast for you. Year ago, I was on a tight schedule to pickup my son from his Taekwando class, complicated as Meisha goes to work with me daily. No time to swing by the house, I took her with me. Sitting when the session ended in the large open room, the quiet reformed environment erupted into a state of chaos with parents visiting and chatting as though on cue and kids being noisy kids while abandoning their disciplined structured positions into a cross flow. I could see Meisha, spinning up in excitement, not expecting her to do what she did. She bolted, flying close to the ceiling. Flew right to the Grandmaster, landing on his shoulder. He was bald.

That is funny.:18:

Noodles is not pleased if I try to interact with her in no light-she cannot see me...at all...and gets scared. It is instinctual lol!!! There would be a lot of hissing. Even in low-light, her behavior changes (either to hormonal or loud bed-time mode---and either way, it messes with them)..Hormones and immune health/behavior go hand-in-hand, so I'd definitely wait it out in normal lighting.

Low light is questionable to me (funny as it is!!) because it dysregulates their light cycles and they have fairly poor night vision to begin with, so you could end up looking even weirder in bird's eyes, plus trick your bird into thinking it was a different time of day or stimulating hormones.
I believe your reference to the comment, “That is funny” is out of context as it was tied to the reflection of the Taekwando episode. Not the references to light.

I can appreciate your experiences which could be a dominator with Sassy. Matt will likely weigh the comments, embrace and discard appropriately. There are things that scare Meisha. However she is rarely scared. I realize Meisha is quite a bit different from Noodles as low light and the absence of light is not a confining variable. As an example, I intentionally leave lights off when retreating to the other end of our house as to deter her from following me. It is common for her to do it anyway, flying part of the way and making her way by foot through the dark to find me. Family members announce the pursuit with, “In Coming!” valued as it reflects on me to use caution on my return. In addition, Meisha will fly in low light at near stall speeds, where she can turn on a dime. Perhaps another difference is she responds to instructions in the dark and gets it right. There are multiple other examples. No tricks and without hormonal imbalances.
 

ParrotGenie

Member
Jan 10, 2019
946
19
Indiana
Parrots
2 umbrella Cockatoos One male named Cooper and female named Baby 1 Little Corella male named Frankie and have 5 Cockatiels three named Male named Pepper, Fiesco for the female and female named Wylie.
Birds hate dark. Cooper usually acts better when out and will only hiss when he really tried and trying to sleep. If I turn the room light on while he asleep he hiss and squawk till I turn light out. Baby hates the dark in general and will throw a temper tantrum
 

JohnH

Active member
Dec 23, 2016
175
95
Parrots
Sulphur crested cockatoo
Yes, my comment was about the bird landing on the bald guys shoulder.
 

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