Need more advise

Ok here is the deal. I used to have no problem getting my grey to step up in or out of the cage. Then it was only out of the cage now its never. He flies around the house with me chasing him untill he gets too tired. The thing of it is my girfriend can handle him like there is not problem(out of the cage). He nips her everyonce and a while but wont even stand for me to be near him when he is out of the cage. Nothing has changed other then I got a divorce and when the time was right I moved in with the girlfirend. Other then that I don't know what to do. I am completly lost and really fustrated because I enjoyed having him sit on my shoulder and what not. Any advise?

DAFBFD58 said:

Nothing has changed other then I got a divorce and when the time was right I moved in with the girlfirend.

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Was that meant to be funny? Thats not nothing, that is an enormous change for a bird. I'm sure that was a stressful and strange experience for him, but none the less you should be able to work him through it.

When reading your post two things stood out to me: First, He seems to get along with your girlfriend; many birds may tend to be one-person-birds, if he's bonding with her its not a surprise that he's not so interested in you anymore. Does your girlfriend spend a lot of time with him? Does she feed him or provide other care for him?

The second thing that caught my attention was that you chase him around the house when he wont step up. Could this be a game to him? When you try to get him to step up does he look scared or aggressive, or does he simply turn and fly away?

Whichever the case is there are certainly many things you can do, but the first step is to determine which is the cause of the behavior.

The ex-wife well she was not the nicest to him. She would over spray him if he was squaking too much. And she would toss things at the cage if he would not behave the way she wants. So I think that since susan does not do that he accepts her more. We both feed him but she tends to be me to it most days as she is up before i am half the time because of her paramadic job. As for the flying thing i can get near him to even ask him to step up. I dont run after him just walk calmly after him. In the cage when I come close he looks afraid of me. Out side he does not attck but say he is on the kitchen island he will walk away from me untill he has run out of room and then flys away. I might try and get Susan to stop feeding him as much and I'll try when I am home to let him out more. it might be that she beats me to all of this and he respects her for it. Any other suggestions are accepted.

making sure you still feed him or provide care for him will be important. Susan should continue feeding and interacting with him to maintain their relationship. A bird household works a lot better when everyone gets along. However you can set aside certain days or times when she will not interact with him or feed him and you will be the one who does. Let him see you filling his food bowl, changing water, etc.

I'd also recommend not trying to follow him when he leaves, as much as possible wait for him to come to you. gradually shape his behavior, i.e. reduce his flight distance. If there is a certain treat or food he really likes put a piece of it out between you and him, let him come get it while you talk quietly to him but don't approach or reach for him. Gradually move the treat closer and closer to you until he has to step up on your arm, or leg.

You could try your hand, but often hands can be intimidating for birds, hands move a lot and are unpredictable. So allowing him to climb up on your lap, on his own time, could be a stepping stone to getting back on your hands.

Again, the main theme: don't approach him, encourage him to approach you. Of course their may be times when you have to go get him to put him in his cage, but try your best to minimize those times.