Proud owner of a new grey, but I need help!

I'm new to the forum, but I've been lurking on here for months as I've researched and thought over which bird was right for me. Ultimately, because of my housing situation (an apartment) and just generally falling in love with them, I adopted a congo grey named Arya yesterday. She's my first parrot, and I am filled with questions, so I'm sorry if this is really long!

I tried to research as much as I could before I picked her up, but reading things and living things are very different. I like her, and I think she's warming up to me, but we're still having some issues. I know it's only been a day or so, but I want to be doing everything right from day one to prevent more issues later on.

Background on Arya: I got her from someone who has owned birds for 15+ years and is very meticulous about their care. He's an older man who was retired but then was elected mayor and no longer has time for all of his birds. He's keeping the older greys, but he was selling his babies, which is how I ended up with Arya. She was very well taken care of, and she is not yet 1 year old. Her hatch date was November 10, 2012.

Now, for my questions! When I first brought her home, we had some immediate issues. She didn't want to get in her cage, so I didn't push it. I let her explore, but she wouldn't let me near her. If she thought I was invading her bubble, she scurried away pretty quickly, so I tried to not bother her and let her adjust, but as it got later, I needed her to be in her cage for the night because I didn't want her to get hurt while I slept.

I turned the lights out and decided to watch a little TV and see if she calmed down enough for me to put her up for the night, and to my surprise, she glided over to me once it was dark. She immediately crawled up my shirt and made her way to the top of my head. She scratched me a little on the way and was nipping at my neck, but I took it as a sign of affection and tried to put her in her cage while she was on me. That didn't work out. She got upset, she bit me pretty hard, and I had to pick her up with a towel to get her in her cage.

This morning, I opened her cage and left it up to her when to come out. It took her a few hours, but she finally came out and made her way to the top of the cage. She didn't move away when I got near her, she let me give her grapes, but I could tell she was still scared of me. A couple hours ago, she started flapping like crazy on top of her cage at the edge and looking right at me. I took it to mean she wanted down but was afraid because she knows her wings are clipped (her other owners doing, not mine), so I went to offer her my arm. She refused to take it, but she kept insistently flapping every time I walked away, so I decided to use some training techniques I saw. I got a peanut and offered it to her if she would climb up on my arm. Twice she hopped up, got the treat, and immediately hopped off, but on the third time, she stayed. She let me carry her to my couch, she had some grapes, but then, she did the same thing as last night. She climbed up and behind my head and then onto my head and made a big deal out of getting down. When she got off my head, I tried using treats again to get her to step up and return her to a perch, but instead of going for the treats, like last night, she bit me hard.

I know that people say to suck it up and take it, but how do you do that in reality? It's one thing if she were just nipping, but the thing is, when she first bit me, I didn't pull away so she used more pressure and bit harder until I shook her off. I didn't necessarily jerk my hand away, but I shook off her bite and continued to offer my arm until she stepped up and I could return her to her cage.

So that's where she is now. She's being calm and quiet, just sitting on the cage, grinding her beak. She looks pretty sleepy, but I'm worried about what happens when I'm the sleepy one and I need to cage her for the night. Leaving her out just isn't an option. Because of her wings, when she gets off her cage, she struggles with figuring out how to climb back into it, not to mention that I don't know that it's safe for her to wander freely all night. I can't isolate her in my room with me because my cat is isolated there during this slow introductory process.

I really want to be able to bond with her and have her step up and trust me and most importantly, I want her to be happy here, but I don't understand why she'll seem enthusiastic one moment and be trying to bite my little finger off the next. How do I break this biting behavior without allowing her to crush my fingers? ):

At this time she should NOT be allowed on your shoulder or your head, If she bites your face/ear/scalp she can do disfiguring damage. You need to work with step ups, I would use a stick and have her step up on to it until she has that down pat. (I am doing the same thing with my new macaw) Spend time with her by being near her, she does not need to be on you yet. Work on the bond slow, you have the rest of both of your life.

Thank you for the advice. I, too, have been worried about her biting me when she's so close to my face, but I also didn't want her to associate being close to me with me having a negative and fearful reaction. I'll read up on stick training and go get something to use for a stick tomorrow. Hopefully she catches on sooner rather than later. I hate upsetting her when I have to pick her up to put her in her cage myself....

Personally I would have left her in her cage for a while, a few days or a week. Let her get used to your routine and just watch you. Sit by her, talk to her, try hand feeding, talk some more. You need to gain trust. You can start clicker target training from inside the cage. It had only been one day, Don't rush it you have many years together! Good luck!

Thanks for your advice, too! The issue with the cage on day 1 is that I didn't bring her home in the cage that is hers. I had to drive two hours to get her, and it was only that short because her previous owner met me halfway. I brought a carrier to take her home in, but he had her in a cardboard box with holes in it, and he didn't want to get her out and stress her by switching her to the carrier in the middle of the parking lot where we met up. Therefore, when I got her home, she was just in this box. When I opened it upon getting home, she immediately crawled out, and as I stated in the original post, she kept avoiding me for a long time.

I think that maybe you're right. Tomorrow, I may keep the cage door shut and just spend the day in the room where she is and just allow her to watch. I'll still research the stick training, but perhaps I'll wait a few days to start using it. I'm just nervous about doing what's best for her. I feel like I promised her a home for 50+ years, and I should be doing everything I can to make it the best place for her. I think I'm probably worrying over it more than I should, but I do that over everything.

Thanks again!

For me, I start working with them from day one. I've done that with every bird unless they were really uptight and scared then I move slowly with training. I usually have the bird fully trained to step up within the first week. Usually only a day or two never pass 5 days. I use a training stick and someone mentioned about putting a foam plate in the middle of the stick acting like a guard to prevent them from coming up which is a good idea. Using two of them to practice step up would be a wise idea!

Congrats! I just got a 3 1/2 month old Timneh. Yours is still a baby. And a scared and confused one in a new home with a new person that she does not know. She needs time to adjust to all of this. Keeping her in her cage now will help her to realize that that's her home. Talk to her, sit by her. If you don't know what to say, read something to her. The words don't matter. Your voice tone and enthusiasm do. She'll come around. You have to do things with birds on their own terms. Don't force yourself on her, but, show her that you are the flock leader, and her new guardian. Patience, persistence, and consistency. Good luck, and keep us posted.

Thanks to you both! She's vocalizing a lot more this morning, eating all of her food instead of picking at it, and she seems much more interested in playing with all the toys inside her cage, so I'll leave her be with that for a while; hopefully, it's a sign that she's getting used to this being her house.

Don't leave her to alone. Spend time near her cage, read to her, talk to her. Talk about what you are doing.

cass said:

A couple hours ago, she started flapping like crazy on top of her cage at the edge and looking right at me. I took it to mean she wanted down but was afraid because she knows her wings are clipped (her other owners doing, not mine), so I went to offer her my arm. She refused to take it, but she kept insistently flapping every time I walked away

Click to expand...

Clipped parrots will often grab onto the top of the cage and flap their wings for exercise. That is what she was doing and the reason why she didn't want to step up.

That's good to know. Thanks!

I have more questions. I was opening her cage to replace her water and her food, and she got out while I was doing so, which is fine, for the most part, so I decided to take some advice you had given me about stick training. I used the foam plate idea and everything. For one thing, she was extremely reluctant to get on the stick, and when she did, foam plate be damned, she climbed over it and still ended up on my head. I had to lean over a counter to get her to hop down, and in the end, I had to pick her up again to recage. Visible treats inside the cage had no effect. When I picked her up, she flapped her wings, which I'm used to, but issues continued. When we approached the cage, she bit onto the edges of it and flapped her wings out to avoid getting put in, and when I pulled her away from the cage, she bit my finger extremely hard. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or how to go forward. I'm not frustrated with her. I'm frustrated with myself for not knowing how to take care of her. She's back in her cage now, perched and completely calm.