Need behavior help with stubborn adult grey.

Greydays

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Hello all. I will try to keep this long story short yet thorough enough for the details you need to know. The just of this post is about a 15 yr old male Congo, who recently had a living situation change, and absolutely will not stop making high pitched sounds and alarm calls no matter what "by the book" recommendation we use to try and correct the behavior.

Here goes... I purchased Sterling as a hand fed chick in 2001. He was a great baby and would cuddle, have head scratches, and lay on his back, rarely ever bit. In 2003 we had our first child, obviously he was hitting his terrible two's at the time too so he got jealous, mean and started making a high pitched screech to get attention. We tried ignoring it but nothing, so he got covered a lot till he got quiet but as soon as you uncovered him he started back in thus got covered again etc. This went on for a year trying to break this sound, he always had a ton of outside of the cage time till this noise started. 1 year later in 2004 I was pregnant with our 2nd daughter, so I asked my mom to take him for a year or so since she has a quiet house, because I did not want to make him worse.

She had him over a year since we could not give him the attention he needed with two little ones in the house. We were about to take him back when my husband got orders overseas (we are military) so she agreed to kept him while we were overseas. As far a I know they got along well during this time and he stopped being so loud. Shortly after the move my grandfather passed away and my grandmother took it very hard. Sterling was used to seeing her a lot and so my mother asked if grandma could have him at her house to keep her company. That went well and they got to be pretty close, although after a few bites she stopped handling him. She was in her 70s, and so when she got bit it bled pretty badly. He got free range to crawl all over his cage and would go back in for her when she asked him to. This is where he lived for 10 years because we did not have the heart to take him from her, and although she said he could get every loud, he mostly sang and talked a lot. He learned a lot of new words from her.

That lasted 10 years as my grandmother just passed away on November 11th. So when we went back home for the funeral we brought Sterling back with us finally. He knows us as we always spent time with him when we visited. So now we have a 15 yr old bird whom to us is acting the exact same as he was 12 years ago when we parted ways. Currently: He will step up, he is eating okay, he looks healthy, has a vet appt scheduled in 2 weeks, he does not pluck, he does not scream, and he has been trying to regurgitate for me. But, now he will not allow petting, he has no interest in toys and is not good about playing by himself and wants you to entertain him constantly, he tries to bite when you go to put him back in the cage if you do not give him a treat to distract him, and he is still doing this damned alarm call with very loud peeps for attention that drove us nuts in the first place.

We know he is going through a huge change and are trying to have patience. His cage is in a corner and partially covered so he feels safe in his new surroundings. He has the same toys and I kept most of his favorite treats so he has some stuff that did not change, I just incorporated a good pellet mix into his diet. My grandmother was feeding him fruits, veggies and eggs but would also fill his bowl to the brim with a cheap seed mix every day. He is trying to assert some dominance with us by biting and I think he is already mad that it isn't working. We have to use a perch to put him back in his cage, we never used to have to do that. If he has been good he gets a treat when we put him up but if he is going up because he was screeching, no treat.

He gets plenty of time out of the cage but he does that wings elevated shaking thing greys do (I know they do then when excited.), and he will do it a lot of the time even in his cage or only 1 foot away like he is scared and then starts that alarm call when you are right there talking to him softly. I don't get it. We praise the good behavior and try ignoring the bad sounds but he is just not getting it. He has a specific loud peep that he alternates with the alarm call screech, that is what we are trying to break. He does a house security alarm and truck backing up beep that are super loud but I think these will fade in time because he wont hear those at our house. I have started putting him back in his cage when he screeches when he is out. Sometimes he gets quiet and sometimes he keeps right on and gets louder so he just stays covered. If he starts the alarm call and ear piercing peeps while in the cage I cover him, but sometimes as soon as I uncover him to reward him he does it again so covered he goes again with no reward.

I am in school for medical transcription so I have to have some relative quiet to hear recordings I am typing up; we live in a small house so this loud noise has got to stop. He does plenty of loudish whistles and lots of talking that are perfectly acceptable, but the truck backing up sound and the sounds previously mentioned are already about to get him in a nice shiny advertisement. I hate to do that though, everything he says sounds like my grandmother, and I know he is going through a lot. The ear piercing sounds make my ears ring which I cannot have happening, and I refuse to have to wear hearing protection in my own house like I have heard some other people do.

What else can we do with a bird who is obviously set in his ways? I think my grandmother unknowingly fed his bad behaviors because he will get loud and then tell himself to "stop that", "be quiet" and "shut up" in her voice.
 
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GaleriaGila

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The Rickeybird, 38-year-old Patagonian Conure
Welcome! Lots of Grey lovers (and others) to help you out. I'm only an expert on the Rickeybird. :) While you're waiting, you can take any issue or topic which interests you, use the Search Tab and then read about it. I'm glad you found us and I hope somebody can help you. And thank you for your service.
 

Flboy

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JoJo, 'Special' GCC, Bongo, Cinnamon GCC(wife's)
Really of little help, but remember, from his standpoint, you are the thick headed one that just doesn't understand!
 

SailBoat

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Jul 10, 2015
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I am going to start you in a totally different direction than normal!

First: Its Never the Fault of the Parrot! Its Always the Fault of the Human! If you start from that position, you will quickly find what you are doing wrong, correct it and get headed in the right direction.

Second: Take all the Parrot Books that you have that are not medical books and trash them.

Third: Web Search: Sally Blanchard's Companion Parrot Handbook and buy it! It will step by step walk you though everything you have done wrong and provide a structured step by step process to regaining the Loving Parrot that sits just below the surface.

Forth: Since you have lots of reading to do with your Studies, Read Them Out Loud to your Gray!!! Two things happening here, he gets up close interaction and you get your studying done. Also, studies show that if you read aloud it sets deeper and you retain longer.

I could provide you with much of the information that can be found in the Companion Parrot Handbook, but having it at hand will be very helpful to you and all of your family, since every member can and should get involved in understand and providing Love to your Gray! As above, read it aloud to your Gray, every member of your family a couple of times each day for several weeks! This is a Reference Book, understand that you will be back into it often!!!

If the book does not provide the foundation of a long lasting relationship, I will buy it from you!

Best wishes in your efforts, believe me, it will be worth it!

SailBoat!
 
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GaleriaGila

Well-known member
Parrot of the Month 🏆
May 14, 2016
15,045
8,742
Cleveland area
Parrots
The Rickeybird, 38-year-old Patagonian Conure
I am going to start you in a totally different
Third: Web Search: Sally Blanchard's Companion Parrot Handbook and buy it! It will step by step walk you though everything you have done wrong and provide a structured step by step process to regaining the Loving Parrot that sits just below the surface.

I could provide you with much of the information that can be found in the Companion Parrot Handbook, but having it at hand will be very helpful to you and all of your family, since every member can and should get involved in understand and providing Love to your Gray! As above, read it aloud to your Gray, every member of your family a couple of times each day for several weeks! This is a Reference Book, understand that you will be back into it often!!!

If the book does not provide the foundation of a long lasting relationship, I will buy it from you!

Best wishes in your efforts, believe me, it will be worth it!

SailBoat!

Hey... I once corresponded many times with Sally when she was writing for BIRD TALK. At that time, Patagonians were her favorites, and we enjoyed trading stories and photos. "Patis have my heart", she used to say. Obviously she never met the Rickeybird! :D I fee like tracking her down...
What a gracious and empathic lady.
 
OP
G

Greydays

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Thank you Sailboat so much for this reply. A completely different direction is exactly what my husband and I are looking for because the standard behavior correction methods clearly have never worked. I will try to find a copy of Sally Blanchard's book. He had a little while today where he was out and being quiet next to me while I was working, and I was reading reports to him. Then he started to shake and screech again for no reason.

I am going to start you in a totally different direction than normal!

First: Its Never the Fault of the Parrot! Its Always the Fault of the Human! If you start from that position, you will quickly find what you are doing wrong, correct it and get headed in the right direction.

Second: Take all the Parrot Books that you have that are not medical books and trash them.

Third: Web Search: Sally Blanchard's Companion Parrot Handbook and buy it! It will step by step walk you though everything you have done wrong and provide a structured step by step process to regaining the Loving Parrot that sits just below the surface.

Forth: Since you have lots of reading to do with your Studies, Read Them Out Loud to your Gray!!! Two things happening here, he gets up close interaction and you get your studying done. Also, studies show that if you read aloud it sets deeper and you retain longer.

I could provide you with much of the information that can be found in the Companion Parrot Handbook, but having it at hand will be very helpful to you and all of your family, since every member can and should get involved in understand and providing Love to your Gray! As above, read it aloud to your Gray, every member of your family a couple of times each day for several weeks! This is a Reference Book, understand that you will be back into it often!!!

If the book does not provide the foundation of a long lasting relationship, I will buy it from you!

Best wishes in your efforts, believe me, it will be worth it!

SailBoat!
 

SailBoat

Supporting Member
Jul 10, 2015
17,643
10,007
Western, Michigan
Parrots
DYH Amazon
I am going to start you in a totally different
Third: Web Search: Sally Blanchard's Companion Parrot Handbook and buy it! It will step by step walk you though everything you have done wrong and provide a structured step by step process to regaining the Loving Parrot that sits just below the surface.

I could provide you with much of the information that can be found in the Companion Parrot Handbook, but having it at hand will be very helpful to you and all of your family, since every member can and should get involved in understand and providing Love to your Gray! As above, read it aloud to your Gray, every member of your family a couple of times each day for several weeks! This is a Reference Book, understand that you will be back into it often!!!

If the book does not provide the foundation of a long lasting relationship, I will buy it from you!

Best wishes in your efforts, believe me, it will be worth it!

SailBoat!

Hey... I once corresponded many times with Sally when she was writing for BIRD TALK. At that time, Patagonians were her favorites, and we enjoyed trading stories and photos. "Patis have my heart", she used to say. Obviously she never met the Rickeybird! :D I fee like tracking her down...
What a gracious and empathic lady.

Web Search her! She has very recently moved and would Love to hear from you. Somethings I think that she simply Loves Them All!! I'm behind in my correspondence with her. Please contact her, I know that she would Love hearing from you!
 

GaleriaGila

Well-known member
Parrot of the Month 🏆
May 14, 2016
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Cleveland area
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The Rickeybird, 38-year-old Patagonian Conure
I will, Sailboat!

GreyDays, thanks for this thread, which made that connection!
 

SailBoat

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Jul 10, 2015
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Western, Michigan
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DYH Amazon
Thank you Sailboat so much for this reply. A completely different direction is exactly what my husband and I are looking for because the standard behavior correction methods clearly have never worked. I will try to find a copy of Sally Blanchard's book. He had a little while today where he was out and being quiet next to me while I was working, and I was reading reports to him. Then he started to shake and screech again for no reason.


Web Search just as I provided it: Sally Blanchard, Companion Parrot Handbook. Buy it directly from her! I understand what you are saying regarding behavior correction methods - they work, but have limitations!

She will be switching Web Sites soon, so do this ASAP since as with any Website upgrade there is always problems!

SailBoat
 
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Greydays

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I have placed an order for the book. What should I be doing differently with him until it arrives?
 

SailBoat

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Jul 10, 2015
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I have placed an order for the book. What should I be doing differently with him until it arrives?

Well, as stated earlier: Start from the position that; Its Never the Fault of the Parrot! It is always the fault of the Human! Based on your past method, this will be a major change in position! So you are going to have to really get your heads around this approach!

The approach is based in the knowledge that your Parrot is telling your what you are doing wrong, you just need to know that is real! Since, you have first hand knowledge of dealing with a Toddler (twice), this will be easier to understand. Remember back when your babies could not communicate with you and you had to tie into their movements, reactions, etc... Same thing here!

Quick example: You approach your sleeping Parrot and when in front of him state: Step-UP! You get bitten! What is the take-way: I should begin letting my Parrot know that I am coming to him from afar, then a little closer I begin addition communication that we are going some place and when I am fully in front of my Parrot, I double check that; he is awake, aware that I am there before I ask him to Step-Up! I state Step-Up! He does and I do not get bitten.

We took responsibility! When it is always our fault, it truly changes the understanding of what is happening and what we need to do too assure success.

Yes, like your toddlers there will be those days! And, as Adult Humans, we also need to know when to back-off a little. Its the same World! Also remember that food with either is a great tool!

SailBoat!

Hey, I see this Thread is getting quite the following!
 
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Greydays

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I have been telling him things I am going to do before I do it and I give him options so that he feels he has a choice. Example: Sometimes I say step up and he will put his foot on my hand and then put it back down. When he does this I don't push it, I let him stay where he is, next time he usually comes with me.

I always try to read his body language. What I cannot figure out then by his point of view what we are all doing wrong to make him shiver/shake and screech/peep like he needs help when he is already right next to us, or even from within his cage where he is safe. He does it whenever we leave the room, and we always tell him we will be right back or give him calls to answer him when he makes acceptable noises, but I will not answer this ear piercing shriek because I don't want to encourage it.
 
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SailBoat

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Jul 10, 2015
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I have been telling him things I am going to do before I do it and I give him options so that he feels he has a choice. Example: Sometimes I say step up and he will put his foot on my hand and then put it back down. When he does this I don't push it, I let him stay where he is, next time he usually comes with me.

I always try to read his body language. What I cannot figure out then by his point of view what we are all doing wrong to make him shiver/shake and screech/peep like he needs help when he is already right next to us, or even from within his cage where he is safe. He does it whenever we leave the room, and we always tell him we will be right back or give him calls to answer him when he makes acceptable noises, but I will not answer this ear piercing shriek because I don't want to encourage it.

Shiver /shake can be many things from true fear all the way to developing body heat.

Contact Calls are part of the natural on-going communication between family members. Humans tend to under estimate their need, importance and commonly do not return or start a series of Contact Calls. Remember that Contact Calls are kind of like; Hey, I'm Okay, are you Okay? Also, I''m here! Where are you? This can be as simple as a couple of words, or a short part of a song to sounds, etc... This tends to reduce many issues like shrieking.

When you get the Handbook, I would recommend that you enter it as if you have just obtained your Grey, i.e. just rehomed him - no prior history, a refresh start, if you will.

Remember, its a 'Handbook,' which means that you will likely be bouncing around to different section to address a single, but multiple based type of behavior.

Grey Body Language is a specialty that really needs to be addressed by an Grey Snob, which I am not! Take a quick look back at the Website and see if she still has a sub-book on Greys. My memory is suggesting that such a book exists, but today may be available as a data file.

Please start applying your past knowledge as a Toddler expert in working with your Grey. As stated above, there are advantages to starting as if it is 'Day One' with a newly rehomed Parrot. Your goal is to start anew with developing a Trust Bond! Also, keep in mind that only 'GOOD' things happen when Humans are around! Thus creating a want to be around Humans.

At this point, I have gotten you as far as an Amazon Snob can get you. So, its time to reach-out to one or more of the members that are creating Threads and/or addressing with Posts in the Grey Forum!

Your can contact one of the Super Mods (their names are always seen in purple) to get you in that direction.
 

plumsmum2005

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Fly free Plum, my gorgeous boy.
Great minds 'boats! Sally is a fantastic lady and I was lucky enough to see her when she came here a few years ago.

Worth a good look through her website she has some wonderful information available.
 
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plumsmum2005

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Lou, Ruby, and Sonu.
Fly free Plum, my gorgeous boy.
I have placed an order for the book. What should I be doing differently with him until it arrives?

As with any unwanted behaviour show your displeasure by turning your back on him and walk out of the room. Mid sentence 'beep', turn and walk out.

Talk to him whilst you are moving around the house, just little things like hey buddy you OK? Watcha doing? Just little things to get him used to you again, He could be grieving for a lost companion too? Have you a playstand for him to hang on, with toys etc. Have you tried foraging toys with some treats in? You will conquer this it just may take some time and patience. :)
 
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Greydays

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Thanks for the additional replies.

SailBoat, you have been of great help. I know alarm calls are important and why they do it except why he does it when I am 1 foot away or all 4 of us are in the same room with him having dinner. He may be seeing something in the room he thinks we should be scared of, but at this point with everything new I understand that it could be absolutely everything. We always do contact calls with him, but it isn't changing the two he prefers to use which are completely unacceptable to our eardrums.

I do like the idea of approaching him like a rehomed bird, which basically he is at the moment. I would not blame him for missing grandma, I miss her a lot too. It has been a hard month for everyone.

I looked on Sally's site and yes she has a 44 page book called Grey Matter as a PDF for $14. I will look at purchasing this one next after I read the handbook.

plumsmum2005, Yes I do this as the ignoring behavior but I cannot do it when I am on the PC for school and his cage is in the same room. We used to have a play stand for him but it rusted over the years at my grandmothers and I will be looking for him a new one soon. It cannot be big because our house is small. Right now he has a perch on the girls' old small air hockey table with a basket of toys; this is where he sits when we have dinner.
 

DRB

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Jan 23, 2016
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Perjo - Female CAG hatch Nov 2015
I am always communicating with Perjo in the house, every time I leave the room (unless I think she is tired and trying to nap) I talk to her or whistle. I've said this before in other threads, we have a our own little language with all our whistles and clicks and she understands and uses the tempo and volume I do most times.
 
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Greydays

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DRB, I wish I could get him to do that. That right there would solve most of our problems but he is damned determined to do his ear piercing sounds for an alarm call and anytime he demands attention. I hope that when he goes to the vet on the 17th that they can shed some light on why he acts like he is about to take flight nearly all the time no matter how close we are. It's like he is just constantly scared, yet I have read that is normal for Grey's. It's so annoying because no amount of soft talking to him gets him to stop shaking.
 

DRB

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Perjo - Female CAG hatch Nov 2015
My CAG is 375 days old, and she is the most cautious thing, but she's not in a perpetual state of fear by any means. She doesn't like new stuff, very typical, gets bothered by large objects even if they are in my hand across the room, and still to this cay cautiously approaches her own food bowls if they are not in her cage.
 

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