Tsali deserves more...

Tsali

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Tsali - African Grey- I am a one parrot parent. It's a full time job keeping Tsali healthy and happy.
The more I get to know the magnificent Congo African Grey, Tsali, who shares my home the more I realize that he deserves more than I can give him.

Posting here because I am feeling melancholy, and a little lost. I love Tsali - from everything I have read about Greys, he is an incredible example of the species. He is very social, not phobic, a good eater, talks up a storm, loves to learn and has a beautiful coat of feathers.

He has one (maybe two) faults:

1) He has developed a very high pitched shrill whistle that I cannot tolerate. It only happens occasionally, maybe a half-dozen times a day, but each time I just cringe in pain. Any high pitched noise is extremely painful - feels like an icepick is being pounded into my eardrums. I can't blame Tsali - he is a bird and birds whistle.

2) His second "fault" isn't a fault at all, in fact it is absolutely awesome, he wants to be in my field of vision and/or on my shoulder at all times. The problem is, being fully flighted, when I step outside he flys up to the crystal chandelier and drops the crystals onto the floor. I am sure that, as a bird it is great fun watching glass shatter, but as the human, it isn't something that I can allow.

So.... I have come to the conclusion that Tsali should be given the opportunity to be a real bird - on Monday I am contacting a Wild Life Sanctuary that has a very high rating and see if they would be willing to give him a better life than I can provide. They have many species of parrots and at least one African Grey, so he will have birddie company. So if they are willing to talk, I will make the trip to check them out and then make a decision.

I am feeling so sad. Tsali should have a "real bird life" which is more than I can give. Right now, due to family health issues, I am able to give him less one on one time which contributes to the whistles. He has two huge cages and bunches of enrichment activities/toys, but they don't satisfy his needs.
 

SilverSage

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I hope you will also ask yourself if he wants to be part of a human flock. Since most pet birds are hand raised, many do not want anything to do with other parrots and crave human interaction only. I hope you will consider that before sending him somewhere where he will get virtually no human interaction :(


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OP
Tsali

Tsali

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Tsali - African Grey- I am a one parrot parent. It's a full time job keeping Tsali healthy and happy.
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I hope you will also ask yourself if he wants to be part of a human flock. Since most pet birds are hand raised, many do not want anything to do with other parrots and crave human interaction only. I hope you will consider that before sending him somewhere where he will get virtually no human interaction :(


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Thank you - I most definitely will - I just don't know what to do. Or how to even start the process of finding a better environment for him where he isn't caged most of the time. He is only three - and I do believe that he is still young enough to adjust to a new habitat. I am lost and very sad. Don't want to make this into a rehoming thread as it isn't posted in the right forum. I just wanted to spill my guts - and express my grief.
 

chris-md

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I hope you reconsider this. The reasons you post are reasons that can pretty readily be overcome with training.

Your average bird gets rehomed 6-7 times in its life. It breaks my heart to think that Tsali could be sent down the rabbit hole simply because he picked up a single mimic you dislike. It’s like saying “my bird learned to say the F word, so I need to rehome him”.

These two reasons don’t really rise to the level of “I’m not providing a good life for Tsali”.

You certainly have to do what’s right for both of you, and I don’t fault you at all for that. I just hope you see through these reasons and compare them to others people often rehome, such as a new job that makes the owner have to travel much more often.

I wish you nothing but the best in whatever decision you make. I know you’ll do what’s best for all concerned.
 

SilverSage

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I sent you a PM. This is such a delicate painful situation for you to be in, I hope you don’t mind that I reached out to you privately.


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Tsali

Tsali

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Tsali - African Grey- I am a one parrot parent. It's a full time job keeping Tsali healthy and happy.
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I agree - I have been trying to "unteach" the whistle, by ignoring it which only elevates the frequency. I have tried giving Tsali a time out covered up in his travel cage, but that just isn't fair. And I have my husband, who is recovering from a very serious illness. I an trying to come up with a permanent solution so that he won't be passed around like a stuffed animal. He deserves a good life. Sometimes when you love a living creature enough, you have to put aside the warm fuzziest and think solely of then.
 

mh434

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I, too, hope you will reconsider. If, as I suspect, he was hand-raised (not wild-caught, that is) he has never known being a member of a large flock. There are hierarchy issues in such situations he would not be equipped to handle, and it could be extremely stressful to him. Very VERY often, what happens when a Grey is re-homed (particularly from a place they're content & happy in), they'll start to self-harm, with plucking feathers & even pulling out their own flesh, out of stress. There are SO many examples of Greys out there with these issues, and I'd hate to see another started down the path of self-destruction.

As far as the screech is concerned, if you can learn to live with it for a short time and appear to NOT react to it in any way, he'll probably discard the sound as it brings no reaction. This has worked well for our Grey. No reaction = boring = find new sound that brings a nice reaction - maybe even a treat!

As far as the flying up to the chandelier is concerned, simply having a 'vet do a minimal wing feather clip will stop him getting that high, and that problem will be gone.

Please, please, reconsider. A happy, well-adjusted Grey is a treasure beyond description, and you're one of the very lucky ones to have such a bird as a companion. I'd love to see you keep it that way!

Failing that, there are LOTS of people (probably, some who are reading this thread!) who would fall all over themselves to adopt such a special, wonderful bird. IMHO, that would be far more preferable than placing him in an enclosure with many strange birds, where he might well suffer badly.

I know it can be disheartening. If you look at my thread, entitled "More Sammy Weirdness" in the Amazon section on this forum, you'll see I'm no stranger to difficulties we sometimes have to endure to share our lives with these wonderful friends. I did consider trying to re-home him, but in the end I decided to keep working on our relationship. I'm into 3 years, now, and he's still not the lovable bird he once was, but I'm still not giving up.

So, take heart, know we're all here to support you, and try not to give up, for both your sakes!
 
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Tsali

Tsali

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Tsali - African Grey- I am a one parrot parent. It's a full time job keeping Tsali healthy and happy.
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Thank you, my heart is breaking. All I want is the best possible life for this magnificent creature. It took me over ten years of research and soul searching prior to bringing him into my home.
 

riddick07

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Most of the time a rescue is a lot like an insane asylum. There's a good chance of you were to visit him after surrender it won't be the same bird you remember. AHW is a good rescue almost all the birds get out every day, fresh food, toys, pellets, and clean cages every day but there is still a whole lot of crazy that doesn't exactly make it a typical home. Some birds thrive in the environment but others get extremely nervous and twitchy or they withdraw or some get angry.

I adopted my Amazon from AHW and one day my mother took him to the rescue before going over to the vet (he was just getting his blood work done for the year). His whole demeanor changed while there...if he could cry I'm guessing that's what he would have been doing. From what I'm told he just sat there hunched in on himself. I take him there all the time but I'm with him. When my mother took him he thought he was being dropped off again.

Rescue are wonderful and are a great option if you truly can't handle it anymore. But the life he has at a rescue will be drastically different than the one he knows now. He will be one of many and the only time he gets hours of one on one will be if he becomes someone's favorite. There just isn't enough time in the day for everyone to get one on one time unless it's a small rescue. Most of the time out time is just being put on a stand. Very rarely do we have Grey's that get along well enough to be on stands together. The most together time they get is out in the flight in summer and they aren't playing together. Just sitting in the same area or possibly arguing.

Adoptions aren't quick either. We have Grey's that have been with us for years now. If he is lucky it could be quick but no guarantee. We have great highly adoptable birds still sitting at AHW for longer than anybody thought they would be. But if you go through and really can't handle it he will be safe at a good rescue!

Don't be afraid to ask questions and ask to volunteer for a few days to see how they operate. If they can't answer or aren't willing to allow you to see everything then find somewhere else. The only place I would allow them to bar me from is quarantine.
 
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bigfellasdad

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I do hope you change your mind. Tsali has clearly bonded with you and I bet would be devastated that you send him away.

The shrill noise, ignore it and maybe he will realise you don't like it and will stop. Works with my enzo.

The light, well, change it if you want to keep him or simply adapt where you take him. Remember it's rarely the parrots fault, cognitive age of 5 but emotional age of a 3yr old. You have to live your life accordingly.

Hope you guys work this out
 

SailBoat

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Time is an amazing thing! At one point, you seem to never have enough of it, only to be quickly followed by periods when your life seems empty and in need of a reflecting warm feathered surface.

We Humans seriously underestimate what time together really is made-up of. I often read aloud to my Amazon and regardless of just how boring the topic is, he never cares. To him, its just together time. One-on-one time is a wonderful thing that we truly enjoy. But life rarely offers those moments.

When you change your home to allow all members to be near each other, no one is alone, everyone is together.

Be open to being together, it will help everyone!

Simply including your Parrot will change the entire environment!
 
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Sunnyclover

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Have you considered getting rid of the Chandelier instead of the living breathing being whom loves you endlessly? Just a thought.
 

PetoftheDay

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My other thought about the chandelier is, if you do not want to clip his flight feathers, either affix a net beneath it so the crystals just don't drop far and don't shatter, or, if the space allows, put a soft cushion on the floor beneath it, so they just fall and don;t shatter - no pretty noise, so no fun!
 

Terry57

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It is so easy to doubt ourselves with our birds, because we only want the best for them. Your love for Tsali is so obvious, and I truly hope you can work your way through this with him.
Justice, my CAG, can exactly mimic my phone ringing...until he decided the coffee pot was a cooler sound. Perhaps you can find a sound that is better than the whistle and see if you can get him interested in mimicking that and distract him from the whistle.
Could you cover the chandelier when he is out?

I hope everything works out for you, and I hope your husband's recovery goes swiftly.
 

YUMgrinder

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Where are you located?
 

AmyMyBlueFront

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PLEASE think this thru thoroughly! I am at a loss on what to say here. I know AT THIS MOMENT, you are going thru a very difficult time in your life (hubby being ill) and you feel overwhelmed.These things shall pass!

It reads to me that you are giving Tsali a very good life as it is. Smokey used to make this high pitched "chirp" on occasion that would go right thru me...it was her way of getting my attention and it certainly worked! :rolleyes:

I would not be here typing this if it weren't for my Fid's. LIFE happens,good and bad. And there are times I wonder if I'm doing Amy justice,is she getting enough "out" time..is her diet right?..toy's..the list goes on and on.

Then I think..what if I wasn't here? where would she be? In a SANCTUARY! I have no family members capable or even WANTING to take care of her.
That would break my heart :02: "Why did daddy do this"? "I thought we were friends and having fun??" 'WHY AM I HERE????"

I can't,and won't,do that to her..PLEASE think of Tsali.


Jim
 

GaleriaGila

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The hardest decision... the one you're facing.
May I tell you my story?
I got him in 1984. I was fearing getting evicted due to his noise, and my family at the time HATED him. I recall struggling to make a decision, sitting on the floor of my townhouse, watching him race and skip and frolic around on the tile floor, and then run to me GRINNING, so proud to be showing off for me. I would just stare at him and be amazed: imagine --- a real parrot in my house, and it loved me! I felt so guilty and inadequate and afraid at one point that I had him in his travel cage and was planning to take him back to the bird store. I opened the front door and couldn't go through. Closed it. Sat down. Took my little love out and promised him we would stay together.
I didn't really believe it, but I wanted to. Eventually, I did. I was in college back then, and at least I could spend a lot of time with him.
Then there were were years (about 25 of them) when 5-6 days a week, I was gone at 7:30-ish and back at 6-ish.
Some did and will consider me wrong and think I should have re-homed him. My husband at that time detested the bird. My current ol' man tolerates him with good humor. No, the bird wasn't responsible for the first marriage's ending!
Anyway, here is what I think made it work.
I moved and got new jobs maybe 5 times or so. BUT...
Every morning, he had at least ten minutes, and every evening, he had 20 or so. I have always kept him on a natural light schedule, in a separate room, so sometimes those times together were in the dark. During the day, he had a big window looking out on something interesting, a television on one of his favorite channels (Music channels, CNN - he loves talking heads), a biggg cage, lots of fun foods, and a few toys that I changed out regularly).
He KNEW he could count on those two crummy sessions a day. Somehow we both made it.
I'm now retired and times are good again. Side-note... when I first started being able to spend much more time, he was strangely aggressive and jumpy. Eventually we settled down.
I don't know if I am doing a service or a dis-service in even suggesting you keep your bird. I do know I can't imagine life without mine at this point.
Good luck to you in making a decision. And welcome to the Forum... you'll get lots of empathy and advice here, as you have seen. I'm glad you're here, reaching out, and listening.
 

mh434

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Blue-Crowned Conure "Tequila"
African Grey "Reno" - sadly, now gone from my life
One more cautionary note about parrot rescue places.

We have (had) one near me, and they took in lots of parrots who were no longer wanted or could no longer be cared for. The facility was widely and repeatedly lauded in the media for their wonderful work, and they were internationally well-known.

Over just a couple of years, however, the numbers grew, care costs increased, the abilities of the staff to care for them dwindled, and diseases began to run rampant through the population. The lady who ran the place invested every cent she could, took in donations, even mortgaged her house to pay for the birds' care...but it wasn't nearly enough.

She, unfortunately, died of cancer a couple of years ago & there was no money left to care for the birds.

The SPCA stepped in and took the birds, a large percentage of which (in addition to high incidence of feather plucking, starting after arrival at the shelter) had chlamydia, PBFD, and other diseases (largely impossible to contain in a large co-habitative, captive population). A huge percentage of the hundreds of parrots had to be euthanized.

I've heard of these situations before, and they're heartbreaking. While many of rescue places, I'm sure, do wonderful work, the future of birds so-placed is anything but certain.

Please, keep Tsali at home, where he belongs, and figure out ways to fix the issues.

We are ALL happy to help you accomplish this!!
 
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Tsali

Tsali

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Tsali - African Grey- I am a one parrot parent. It's a full time job keeping Tsali healthy and happy.
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Thank you for all of your comments, support and suggestions.

I want to clarify - this isn't about ME and my needs, it is 100% about Tsali and his needs. So far today, he had his bit of loud whistling earlier (I remained calm even though I wanted to just explode), we had a meaningful conversation, and now he is quietly sitting on my shoulder watching me type. My devotion and love for Tsali is not a question, but sometimes love means putting self second.

The loud whistling is part of his large vocabulary and he enjoys using it - just like we all have favorite songs we like to sing. It is random and usually doesn't last long. If it wasn't so random, it could be solved through training. But, as it is, he could be sitting on my shoulder and whistle right into my ear, or he could be talking with human words punctuating his points with the whistle. Sometimes it is because I happen to be out of his sight.

If your partner randomly walked up to you and stabbed you with a fork - it probably wouldn't cause much physical damage, but it would be a relationship breaker. Tsali's whistle is truly that painful.

In addition, hubby has some pretty serious health issues that are ongoing and probably permanent. The man who has been my life for 41 years and has always taken care of me now relies on me more than ever. This is heart breaking and very emotionally draining. I don't know what tomorrow brings or when the next extended hospital stay, will be, but I do know the negative impact of me being gone for a week does to Tsali's psyche.

We are preparing to put our horse farm on the market and move from a 5,500 sq ft home to something much smaller - looking at a 1,200 sq ft condo. Right now Tsali has the equivalent of a 1,500 sq ft. indoor aviary with vaulted ceilings.

So the selfish part of me says go ahead and keep him in that smaller cage - and let him be more of a caged bird, he'll be ok. But the part of me that puts Tsali's needs ahead of mine tells me that the right thing to do is to place him with an experienced bird family that can take care of all of his needs. I know that he will go through some trauma, perhaps a period of grieving, but I have full confidence that with the right family this remarkable Grey will come out stronger and happier. How could I be so selfish to not give him a chance to have a better life than I can provide. It breaks my heart to think that he may forget me, but on the other hand I hope he can.

I am seriously rethinking the sanctuary idea and leaning towards finding the right home placement. I don't want this to become a "rehoming" thread as it is not posted in the right place. I started this thread because I was sad, feeling lost and a bit hopeless and my heart is breaking.

Again, I do thank all of you for your replies - each of us have a road to travel, and it looks like mine is going to be a rough one filled with lots of detours.
 

T00tsyd

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I really feel for you in this dilemma. My vote for what it's worth would be to find Tsali the best home I could with dedicated owners who would look after him as you do. I know nothing about sanctuaries except here in the UK we are warned against because they are not necessarily what they seem and often simply sell the birds on to the highest bidder. I'm sure from what you write that you want the best for Tsali.

Only you know what will be the best for your family and when life is in turmoil it is hard to make any decisions but you sound very sensibe and I am confident that you will make the right decision. There are plenty here who will support you whatever you decide. After all none of us are where you are.

Take comfort that you have shared a real bond and love with Tsali and that is an experience that neither of you would have wanted to miss. Take care.
 

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