emotionless grey.

I don't get it when people say African Greys are not loving and emotional, maybe these people simply don't understand how a grey shows emotion or don't trust and read them well enough to allow themselves to get on their level.

Having been back home for a month or so from living at my GF's, there has not been a day gone by (apart from 3 days of egg laying) where my little girl has not snuggled in to me and literally 'purred' in my arms whilst getting tickles/scritches/hugs. Even during the couple of days a week when I work from home and my work stresses build, which they do each day, Enzo is over asking for kisses and wanting me to goof about playing games with her. I haven't experience of male greys so I don't know if its a gender thing, however.

Soppy post I know, but my word these African greys are truly astounding little personalities, i'm so glad I took her in, for me its well worth the huge amount of time and effort I need to put in to keeping her, and myself happy.

Edit: To clarify, I don't think they are emotionless at all but I can see why some people think do- that was what I meant when I typed this.



I am a bit jealous of your Grey. I really like them a lot...Their independence, intelligence etc. When they are with someone they really are bonded to, they can be super loving, but as a rule, they aren't as needy in terms of physical contact (they like to be near people and with people, but touching isn't a constant priority). They sometimes come off as a bit "cool"/aloof---almost like a 1940's movie-star or something lol. You are likely your bird's perceived mate (so some of that could be preferential or even sexual lol). Plus, a lot of people don't have the time or patience necessary to invest in a Grey and then there is the way that a Grey interacts in a group of people (yeah, they love to be involved-sometimes as bystanders, but most aren't wanting to hop person to person like some birds). There is also the individual bird's personality (which varies significantly). If people are comparing a Grey to a dog or say, a Cockatoo, they seem downright frigid on the surface. As you know, however, there is more than meets the eye. Still waters run deep!

Thanks noodles, I get what you are saying. When im alone with Enzo she is a totally different personality and im sure she considers me her 'mate'. She can be aloof and even aggressive when some people are around, she is stand off'ish even when her friends are around, although she will show respect to them. But when we are alone its a totally different thing...… before she was around I occasionally became a little lonely or at least felt something missing from my life, Enzo has filled that gap and I am getting repaid for my efforts.

To just clear things up a little, she isn't needy on the whole, very happy to be the observer or even spending time in a different room....even then totally aware of where I am and what im doing. But when I wake up, id better come and say hello and share breakfast together...when I come home, she has to be fussed when I return.... when its getting dark and shes tired, nobody else gets a look in. And if I rustle a bag of potato crisps or human snacks, I don't get a look in

Oh, I totally get it. I LOVED my uncle's Grey and she was suspicious of me for YEARS before I could pick her up. She pierced my cousin's ear as a child actually lol/ (not that funny when stitches are needed, but a decent story for my cousin).
BUT the point is, no one ever lost interest in her--she was just so intimidating and smart and fascinating (and she LOVED my uncle--eventually)-plus, she was ALWAYS around (just watching and occasionally commenting). She was wild-caught (the 70s were sketchy and my uncle was a college kid who didn't know anything about birds when he got her).

I used to spend HOURS just talking to her and making goofy noises because she was so funny and her reactions were often unexpected. I got to the point where I could pick her up, but it was like that with my uncle for probably 20 years before the rest of us were brave enough to really consider trying again (she didn't ever accept some family members). Socially, she liked to hang out and watch (crashing birthday parties by circling overhead without warning was another past-time from her younger days-but what made it so crazy was that it was almost out of character). She stopped being jealous over time, but she was an eternal thinker/skeptic. Earning her trust was like a badge of honor, as she generally just was content to listen and watch and interact that way.

That's my biggest issue, others see how Enzo interacts with me and wants to do so themselves, we ALL adore her. Unfortunately, too much blood has been lost and too many times the trust has built and then been shattered for others to share the closeness. I'm sure it will come though, my family and friends are waiting for Enzo to just give it up

for interest, Enzo actually took a piece of cartilage from her previous carers ear and given 1s of space would tear off any bodies toe, including mine, given the chance

After seeing others being bitten and after being told "Don't touch the birdy" enough times as a kid, I just completely accepted her as a weird family member who didn't like to be touched lol. It is funny-- I never feared that she would attack me or anything, I just never even considered attempting to touch her (as that would have been a crazy act of stupidity and a violation of her general preferences). It wasn't until I was in high school that I even considered that maybe I could make her like me...she certainly knew me well enough by then (having watched me for ages). I got bitten a few times, but not that hard, but then I learned to REALLLLY read her cues and I started off just trying to pet her head. I stuck to petting her head for at least a year before I had the confidence to try anything else, and I am pretty sure that was smart, because she still was who she was lol.

Yep Noodles, that was definitely the best form of defence. Strangely, and I hope I don't live to regret this, if Enzo is being aggressive, I have to use my face/head to get her to stand down.... I feel she would simply not bite me there, it would seem rude..... So far I'm correct. At worst she has touched my face with a WIDE open beak as a warning, but she has never pushed It further than a warning..

You are probably taking a gamble, but I would say it's a pretty good plan...I mean, we all take risks and if it works, it works, right?
I am sure you are perceptive enough to adjust that plan if things start to seem more fickle! lol
Please note: I let my cockatoo preen my eyelashes, which is also probably stupid, but I can read her like a book, and she doesn't want to do it when she's annoyed lol. If either of us lose an eye, we lived well in the meantime lol.

Uhh no. My GCC of eight years recently bit my face just below my eye, gave me a black eye. I would have never thought she would, has never bitten face before... But one if my quakers pulled her tail featheres, and she thought I did it!

Oh yes, the magical grey. Their love is earned and then they are loyal to a fault. I totally get what you're saying here. While my grey Kevin is still in the adjusting phase, his personality is coming out and his love for our family is beginning to show. He loves my daughter who dances and sings with him (she's too young at 11 to attempt any physical contact with him at this stage), loves my husband who teaches him to whistle, and knows I'm the primary caregiver and gives me kisses multiple times a day on my hand. However, anyone else is wise to talk from a distance and take time becoming friends.

I think I was 11 when we first got Rico as a holliday guest (owner needed a babysit while she was away for a couple of weeks), he came to forever stay as my bird when I was 13, and I have been hooked on greys ever since.


There is nothing unemotional about a grey at all!
They comment on everything all day long, just by shifting the small feathers around the beak, slightly adjusting their headpose etc.etc..
I could tell by the way Rico was just sitting (freeze, focus, listen intently), focussed on my mother in the kitchen (closed off room, he could not see in!) reacting when she got hold of something he wanted to snack on.
He did that all by ear and let me know when I should get up and get him some... just by puffing his corner-of-mouth feathers slightly.


So greys are anything but uninvolved...they are just so darn subtile most of the time.



They are my emotional-reflection birds (quite handy with my autism!) because they will really let me know when I am stressed and should take a step back.
(Yup my personal moderators, both of them.)


They will seldom decide to go from human-to-human (in Appies case it depends who is holding food...) but Japie will fidget and sometimes even throw a big stink if he is not able and allowed to sit in the exact middle.
(Yes he is mathematically inclined: if one of us moves, so wil he, till he has found the equidistance thingy again.)


They really have this genetic flockmentality, so much fun!
So plze all you grey-owners: let them socialize on their own terms, because they really love it.

My Timneh is pretty much a velcro bird and wants to be a part of everything I'm doing. She loves to cuddle when the time is right for her. Her first owners sold her to the local pet store after a year and a half and declaring her unfriendly. Not sure if it was teh people or the fact that you had to take a few bites before she trusted you. She will fly to anyone's head but not everyone can get her to step up. Proud to say even my little niece and nephews have handled her after about a year of learning the does and don'ts of what to do. I really realized how much I trust her this morning when I stuck my head inside her house to get a kiss while she ate her good bye treat and I went to work. Suicide in an unknown greys cage. Thanks Big Fella for letting everyone know Greys Love too.!!!

I hope I’m not being rude by posting this here just seemed appropriate. My nephew playing video games with Timneh on his head.

ChristaNL said:

So greys are anything but uninvolved...they are just so darn subtle most of the time.

Click to expand...

well said. I agree 500%-- I hope it didn't look like I was trying to say they were emotionless. I didn't mean it to come off that way if it did!

My love for greys blossomed into having three! All 3 with unique personalities. It is true that you must earn their trust. But once that trust is earned, they are loving and devoted to their person or people!

As someone who grew-up with a CAG as her brother (Jagger came to our home when I was 9 years old and he was a just-weaned baby) I can attest to the fact that CAG's are no different than any other species of parrot in that each one is an individual, and each one has it's own personality...And the environment they are raised in, the way they are treated by their families (their first family has the largest impression on their personalities when they are young), and the role that they are made to feel like they have in their family are all HUGE factors as well....It's not "Nature versus Nurture", it's "Nature AND Nurture".

I've often heard/read people who own CAG's mention that they aren't "cuddly", they don't like affection, they don't like to be touched as much as other parrot species, they are independent, etc...Well, if you think about it, those are attributes/characteristics of parrots of all species! I have the most cuddly, snuggly, big teddy-bear of a Senegal Parrot that hates to be alone and always has to be attached to me when I'm in the same room as he is; that's not a typical description of a Senegal Parrot at all...The reason that Kane is a big cuddlebug is because I brought him home when he was 13 weeks old and I treated him like he was my own little baby from day one. The same goes for my Quaker Parrot, my Green Cheek, and my Cockatiel, I brought all of them home as just-weaned babies from their breeders who hand-raised them, and I treated them each like they were my own little human babies...In contrast, my Ringneck Dove didn't come to me until he was already a juvenile, and even though he'd been hand-raised by his breeder, he was locked inside of a cage with a bunch of other Doves that picked on him and abused him, and he was completely ignored by the pet shop staff and had no human contact at all for months. So while I can handled him, pet him, he'll fly to me, and he's getting better, he's still what I would call "aloof" and can take or leave my attention...

Jagger, my CAG brother, has been treated like just that, my "brother", since the day my mom brought him home. He loves us both pretty equally, though he's always lived with my mother and I've not been living there for a good 16 years or so, so he's most-attached to my mom, but he still flies right to me every time I walk into their house, he calls to me and comes flying right over and nearly knocks me over when he lands on my chest, and we'll spend hours on holidays just laying on the couch watching TV, with me laying down and him on my chest with his head snuggled against mine, and me rubbing his chest and belly, with him purring himself to sleep.

Then in-contrast I've seen videos on YouTube of CAG's who don't even like to step-up, who will come over to their owners for a scratch or two and then they're done and they leave, and who do seem very aloof and not very attached to any one person...But again, I can say that about individual parrots of every species. So the bottom-line for me with ANY parrot species is I don't ever put a whole lot of stock in "general" descriptions that people give about "what they're like", because it's all about the individual bird, how they were raised, the environment they're living in, and how they are treated in that environment, and the role they play in their home/family...If they are thought of as being simply "pets", then they are going to act like a pet. If they are treated like a member of the family, they are going to act like a member of the family...

I always love when people say 'X animal is emotionless' I've never met a pet without emotion in my entire life, Cats, dogs, parrots, reptiles, amphibians you name it it has emotion. Heck even my grandfather's goldfish showed personality! If they saw him pull out their special food they'd start zooming about the aquarium in excitement. Even the creatures I despise most (spiders) I have seen show emotion with my old friend's Tarantula she showed emotion for the brief 2 seconds I saw her before bailing out of my friend's house!

I think there's just a lot of people who are a bit emotionally dense and don't understand emotion is conveyed in more ways than what we see with humans

Hey, great points... NONE of us/them are emotionless.

Just because a bird doesn't fly around screaming and wreaking havoc upon a household and abusing the occupants (like certain Patagonian Conures who shall remain nameless)... that doesn't mean they lack emotion!

I've heard uneducated folks suggest Eclectus are "emotionless" but never a grey!