Need Advice Please

Sadly I lost my all time best friend back in June. I had just started a new job and had to work a Saturday. Woke up and went to uncover Tookie as usual before I left for work and found him passed away in the bottom of his cage. Well needless to say I lost it right there and still do when I think about him (nearly constantly). I bought him as an egg in '97 and we were best buddies. He had just had a physical 2 weeks prior and was in perfect health. Only thing I can think of as to what happened was he fell off his perch in the middle of the night and broke his neck on the way down. He had a large 4'×4'×6' cage and love climbing all over it. He was born a little spraddled legged so that made him a little clumsy when climbing. Im completely lost without him (pauses a moment to compose myself). I want to replace him now but cant really afford another congo grey at the moment.

Sooo, my question is, are there any places I could possibly find a rescue Grey that hasnt been abused, or cusses like a sailor, or other bad habits that usually is the reason people are trying to get rid of one? I would rather find a baby Grey and bond with him from the beginning. I am a 60 year old single dad with 2 daughters and 4 grandaughters. They all loved him and he gave the love right back to all of them. I just dont want to go on without having the special friendship of a Grey that they give. I dont think I can justify a "go fund me" for a pet, but the new job and the usual bills are preventing me from just going out to Bird Fever on the north side of Indy and picking out a new one. I would give anything to have my buddy back and to have to dust the furniture again to clean his dander up LOL. Some one please help me with this. Im completely lost with out my best friend. My youngest daughter even spent several months doing a 2'×2' "diamond painting" of him for my last birthday.

Fly In Peace Tookie.I miss you so bad.

Hi Tommy
I am soo getting this- losing your bird is having this gaping hole in your life all the time.


Tookie may not have cussed like a sailer, he looks like he walked like one
(Japie here is the same when he plunks himself in a corner- almost like a balerina doing the splits)


I may sound like one of those weird people, but your next bird will find you!
Do not worry.


With your somewhat advanced age it may be fairer to the bird to get a rescue?
(Unless one of the kids will take the bird in no matter what New Bird may very well end up there herself.)
Not al rescuebirds are rejected delinquents, sometimes it is an ilness, divorce, new parrenthood, loss of a job etc. that forces people to part with a wonderfull and beloved bird.


(Appie came here because her previous owner married a new lady-love and they could not cope with all his pets and all her/their kids in a simple, small house. Kids keep growing etc.. so they had to make some very difficult choices.)

Great advise above.
I am a bit older than you, so I can use terms like Old Folks cause I am one. The reality is, even if you obtain an older Parrot, like 35 years old, many of the mid to larger Parrots can live 20, 30 or more years.
All of our Amazons have been the left-overs, the yesterdays trash, the loving members of another family that passed because of their age only to find that the kids didn't really want the bird. In every case, with Time and Love, each one became the love of our live.

Like it or not, you are a senior and that means you come with years of experience that others do not have. It also means that you can provide the Love that a left behind Parrot needs. You only need to open your Heart to another that is just as saddened by its loss.

There are a few Rescues in your area and also, Avian Vets that have customers looking for a home for their beloved Parrot needing a loving home.
What Christa is referring to is that this time, you can let the Parrot Choose You! That is just as special as a baby chick developing a Love for you, but faster.
Your dear loving friend and companion while building a place in your heart was also busy building a place for another. Open your mind and Heart to the idea that there is a left behind Parrot that needs you!

Oh losing a grey is so painful. I’ve not recovered yet from losing one (our family’s best friend Nigel) last year. I took in a rescue who was cage bound for most if not all his life. We’re now almost 7 months in with our new guy, Kevin, and it has taken this long to see some fruit of love and attention. He’s still a ways from where we want to be but we’re making steady progress. Whatever happened to him was bad enough to make him fearful. We know enough about greys and their body language to read when he needs to be left alone and when he welcomes contact. This weekend he has begun showing curiosity and is walking around (supervised of course) and testing those waters. He now contact calls when i leave the room and flies to/from this massive stand we built for him.

I say all that to show how rewarding a rescued grey can be. They’re so intelligent but sensitive and need someone patient enough to wait for the breakthrough.

Keep us posted, if you do choose a young bird i know you’ll make sure he/she would have caretakers in your absence. In fact all of us need to have those things in mind for none of us have a promise for tomorrow.

Oh that went somber! Not my intention to be sad or depressing. Happy New Year!


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Thanks everyone.

I apologise for creating such a somber thread, but needed to ask for some kind of help with this to keep my sanity. I honestly thought the pain of his loss would subside some by now, but it just keeps going. I am hesitant to do a rescue with out some very serious investigating into the life the Grey might have had, thus I am leaning toward a younger grey.

My youngest daughter and her daughter Cheyenne absolutely loved Tookie and vise versa. They both assured me they would keep Tookie when I passed. Tookie would come climbing out of his cage and run to sit and play with Cheyenne every time. It was one of the hardest things Ive ever had to do was to tell her he was gone. If it wasnt 6 frikkin degrees out today I would head up to Bird Fever to see what options they offer.

I took in a rescue Quaker, the rewards to the soul of seeing her bloom are priceless. We often see older as having less value...is that how you would wish to be seen? It's not how I enjoy being seen as I approach fifty... So I can't help but join the second hand parrot band wagon. I feel my rescue parrot once I earned her trust, her love is deeper and more complex, as she has known pain. As a human if you were seeking a significant other, would you seek a youthful partner? I doubt it, as you would want a more mature and complex partner you could share a more meaningful life with. Your rich life experiences, and prevent parrot experience would be of such benefit to an orphaned parrot, that is still going to live for decades... I hope you will spend some time thinking on this, and sympathies for your loss. I recently lost my loved Burt The Bird, and it aches..

This doesn't answer your question really (though I am so sorry for your loss and happy you want to adopt) but I am concerned about the cause of death with regard to your last bird. I cannot imagine how difficult that must have been/continues to be...like losing a kid I imagine. If you do get another bird, at 60, it could easily outlive you, so getting an older Grey is definitely the kinder option (especially since there are so many in need of good homes due to the death's of their previous owners etc etc). It won't be the same as getting a baby, but getting a baby wouldn't really be fair to the bird, given life expectancy. That is not to say that you couldn't will your bird to someone, but for the bird, the transition/loss could be very traumatic. As long as you are patient and understanding, an adult bird will likely warm towards you in time.

Back to my original thought: At the risk of sounding insensitive, did you do a necroscopy/autopsy to determine the cause? There are certain contagious diseases that can be fairly asymptomatic (despite their often deadly nature)...They can remain stable on surfaces for years and are transmitted via fecal matter, feathers, dander, oral secretions, mother-egg etc. Dust from the infected bird can get into your carpet and air ducts and infect future birds, so that is definitely a concern of mine...For instance, the circovirus (PBFD) is highly stable and extremely hard to inactivate with cleaners. Even heavy-duty cleaners that are unsafe for use around birds (such as bleach) don't necessarily work.

Before getting a new bird, I would urge you to consider what may have happened to your last bird, as any disease could be passed on to your next parrot.
Was he ever tested for PDD, ABV, PBFD, Polyoma, etc?
PBFD, ABV and PDD are weird because a bird can test negative for them while infected, as many birds are carriers and intermittently shed the virus. They may or may not show symptoms at all, and sometimes, a bird will carry the virus for years, only manifesting a few symptoms much later in life when stressed or worn down by other factors. A positive is always a positive, but a negative may not always be negative. That having been said, if he was tested for these, you at least know that he wasn't actively shedding/infected at the time of the negative test result. Birds can pick up these diseases from boarding scenarios, other bird owner's hair/clothing, at the vet's office, in toys from bird shops that were exposed to feather dust etc, and they are highly contagious, so it is something to consider. Not all birds with chronic PBFD lose their feathers or show beak troubles, and PDD can be even harder to spot (in some cases, ABV is the precurser to PDD, but not always---it is a pretty complicated disease and it isn't well understood).
Was blood work (A CBC) performed at the physical?


I am not trying to make you paranoid, but I just want to make sure that there is no possibility that there was something in the house (viral/bacterial etc) that could be passed on.


Also, have you researched all of the weird places that Teflon/PTFE/PFOA can hide within a home (not just in the kitchen, but in space-heaters, irons, ironing boards, curlers, straighteners, hair dryers, humidifiers, electric blankets, wax warmers etc)...
Finally, any candles (scented or non), potpourri/scented wax, air fresheners, perfumes, aerosols, smoke, burning oil/butter/food, sharpie markers, nail polishes, cleaners (bleach, windex, lysol, pinesol, mr. clean, kaboom, ammonia, etc etc) are not safe around birds. Pretty much anything with a scent (other than fresh flowers, unheated vinegar, and/or avian-safe cleaners should not be used around your bird).

No need to apologise, a lot of us know what it is like to be were you are now (been there, done that or still there). Once you had one of those wonderfull birds in your life... it will never be the same again, and when you lose one it will feel like it is never going to be okay.

I had a gap of about 15 ish years (I forget exactly) between Rico and D. and it never felt quite right.
I promised my first grey (who had seen at least 4 other owners befor he landed with me) I would never make a baby into a cagebird (I always had a sneaky suspicion he was taken from the wild), so I am a recycle/rescue person by default.

We are all mortal and there is actually and interesting thread/ part of a thread about what measurements some of us have in place to make sure the birds will be taken care off if we just happen to wake up dead one day.
Just like all the 'sex-questions'... it all part of being human&bird and alive on this planet.

First of all I am very sorry for your loss. Everyone here that has lost a feathered companion (including me) knows what you are going through.

Greys are amazing birds But don't close out your heart to other options.
Keep your eyes and ears open to what's out there. Keep in mind though that if it sounds too good to be true it probably is. I know you weren't born yesterday but it's something that's worth repeating.


I lost 2 of my Amazons within a year and was just devastated. The thing I had going for me was that I was able to focus my attention on my living Fids and not dwell on the ones that had passed. Yet I did manage to fill the void they left (there was now way they could be replaced). I was able to adopt a rescue Amazon through this very forum.

I hope you are able to find a new feathered friend to share your love with.

texsize

Random thought- did you name your parrot Tookie for any particular reason? It means "parrot" in Hebrew, so I was just curious. My uncle's parrot is Tuki

Hi Tommy...I'm so sorry for your loss; I grew-up with a CAG as a brother, he's now 32 and lives with my mom and stepfather, and I totally understand what you're going through...

I'm hoping I can give you a different view of "Rescue" parrots, as I have been the Medial Liaison at a large, private Avian/Reptile Rescue for over 8 years now, and I can reassure you that the majority of parrots that are surrendered at Avian Rescues are not surrendered because they "have bad behaviors" or have any unwanted behaviors that their owners don't like or can't handle; in-fact the number of parrots that are surrendered because they have bad behaviors like biting, screaming, etc., or that are surrendered because they have been abused or neglected in any way by prior owners, etc. is a very small fraction of the parrots you'll find in Avian Rescues, Especially the larger species of parrots such a Congo African Grays, Cockatoos, and Macaws...In fact I have no problem at all with saying that somewhere around 90% or more of the large species parrots that you'll find in Avian Rescues are surrendered simply because the people who buy them as just-weaned babies had absolutely no idea how much time and attention these species of parrots need every single day, or they are people who bought these birds from their original owners who surrendered them for that reason, and then these second-owners end-up surrendering them to the Rescues for exactly the same reason! And in-addition to not having a clue about how much work, time, and attention these large species of parrots need every single day, they also often find out that they don't have the money to properly care for these birds, usually when they become sick and need Avian Veterinary care...I cannot tell you how many parrots are surrendered to Rescues WHEN/WHILE THEY ARE SICK OR INJURED AND IN-NEED OF EXPENSIVE VETERINARY CARE OR SURGERY! And the other major reason that the large parrots are often surrendered to Avian Rescues if because their owners owned and lived in their own houses when they originally bought them, and for one reason or another they've been forced to sell their houses (or they've lost their houses to foreclosure, that's a very common occurrence unfortunately), and they've been forced to move-into apartments that either don't allow any pets at all, or at least not large parrots...It's very rare that people surrender their parrots to an Avian Rescue because they have "bad behaviors" like aggression/biting, screaming, being destructive, etc...In-general, the people who have birds like that ARE THE REASON that their birds are like that in the first-place, and these types of people unfortunately don't ever really bond-closely with their birds, and as a result these people ONLY CARE about "getting their money back that they put-into the bird", so these people usually SELL their birds on places like Craigslist, Kijiji, Hoobly, etc., and they typically ask the amount that a newly-weaned baby would cost, but they come with a cage and supplies...Again, that should make sense to you, because most parrots that have "bad behaviors", are aggressive, that bite and attack, that are destructive and just uncontrollable in-general get that way because the people who buy them/own them have more money than they do knowledge or ability to properly raise and care for a parrot...And these types of people certainly will not EVER just surrender their expensive parrots over to an Avian Rescue, where they usually have to give a donation in-order for the Avian Rescue to take them in...They want to recoup the money they've "put into the bird", like they're a used car or something, it's sad...

So in addition to the fact that you're going to be hard-pressed to find a baby or juvenile Congo African Gray anywhere for little to no cost, such as at an Avian Rescue, in a pet shop or bird shop, from a private breeder, or just from someone who is wanting to "re-home" their CAG on Craigslist etc., the fact is that most Congo African Grays that you'll find in Avian Rescues are in-fact wonderful birds that are only looking for exactly the same thing that you're looking-for right now: They simply want to find a forever-home,
a family, a "flock" who will love them, take care of them, and be there for them, and who they can give love to right back...And most of the large parrots you'll find in Avian Rescues are not very "old" at all, especially in-relation to how long they live...I'd say the average age of the CAG's, Cockatoos, Macaws, etc. that we take-in come in two different age-groups: They are typically either between 5-10 years old, or they are between 15-20 years old...Not "old" at all, in-fact most of them are considered juveniles to young-adults...Not that this should matter to you at all, because the ability to bond-closely with a parrot has absolutely NOTHING to do with their age, but rather just how they feel about you, and you about them...Hell, you're 60 years-old, right? That isn't at all "old" in any way, but you're also not a guy in his 20's or 30's just starting-out either, not a young family just starting-out looking to "start" your family...You're a 60 year-old man who is desperately looking for a parrot to share your life with and to be your best-friend in the world...That's exactly the same thing that the parrots in the Rescues are looking for...

And just another important thing to note, I wish that every single person who came into the Rescue to adopt a parrot and bring them into their family was exactly like you: you're experienced with large parrots, you not only know how much time and attention they need but you WANT to give all of your time and attention to whatever bird you bring into your life and your family, and the only reason you are wanting to find a bird is to love them and bond with them, and to have a life-long relationship with them...You're the type of person who all of the parrots that are in the Rescues need and want to find...

I understand wanting to bring home a little baby CAG who is under a year-old and who you can watch "grow-up", but forgetting the financial problems with buying a baby CAG right now, it just seems like such a waste for someone like you to just automatically pass on a CAG in an Avian Rescue without you even going to a few Rescues and meeting some birds...For all you know the perfect parrot for you is sitting in an Avian Rescue somewhere in or near Indy right now, waiting for you to bring it home...What harm is there in at least going to all of the Avian Rescues in your area and making sure that the perfect bird for you isn't sitting there waiting for you to find it? And just as a side-note, the "adoption fees" at most Avian Rescues for the larger parrots are at-most a couple hundred dollars, if that. A lot of Avian Rescues are more concerned in finding an experienced, capable, responsible home for the birds than they are about adoption fees...either way, it won't cost anywhere near what a hand-raised, baby CAG costs...

If I were you I'd at least take a trip to the Avian Rescues in your area and check out the birds-in-need that are there, waiting for "their person" to find them...And if you don't find the right bird for you then that's fine, but at least you'll have looked and made certain of that...Like I said, for all you know the perfect bird for you is sitting a few miles away from you right now...

noodles123 said:

Random thought- did you name your parrot Tookie for any particular reason? It means "parrot" in Hebrew, so I was just curious. My uncle's parrot is Tuki

Click to expand...

Actually Tookie was named by my youngest daughter Tera. Now get ready to giggle as to how. She was watching the original George of the jungle cartoons one morning just after we got to bring him home finally from 16 weeks of weaning at the breeders. The last two words of that song are tookie tookie. Thus it stuck. I told you you would giggle.

And a sincere thanks to all that have replied here. I think it will be a good idea to start looking around for a rescue CAG.

I'll just add my good wishes to all the good advice and support you've already received.
One of these days, I guess I'll face the loss of the Rickeybird, and this will be the first place I turn. He's awful, but he's my best friend, too, in his way.
I'm so glad you found us.

Hi everyone, I have some great news. I know its been a while since I posted on here since losing my best buddy Tookie, but one day back in September Tookies vet called me and asked if I was still looking for another CAG. I immediately said yes and she informed me of a family just south of Indy here that had one that they just didn't have time for anymore. I contacted them and setup a Saturday morning to go meet them. Well after a nice convo with them and meeting Greyson Ron told me if I gave him a good home I could have Greyson no charge. Thats when the eyes got all leaky and my daughter and I brought Greyson home. We had no idea of his demeanor, but I knew I wanted him. Needless to say Greyson is without a doubt the sweetest bird I've ever known. Hes so gentle and loving that I still can't believe I got him. Ron got him from an older gent that had passed away and Ron and his wife (they own and run a pet cremation service down in Columbus) had Greyson for 12 years. He wasn't in the best of cages, but I had hung onto Tookies cage just in case. It took Greyson a week or so to do the cage transition but hes a happy camper now. He doesn't talk much at all but does sound off and is getting more vocal. I love this little guy to death already. Hes never even thought about biting me but I can tell hes a one person bird. He'll take treats from my daughter, but has tried to bite her. He is finally going to the vet this coming Tuesday for a full check up and nails, beak, and wing service. Ron said Greyson has never been to a vet, but he did have a local bird sanctuary lady come in to do his nails and stuff. He has done a little bellyplucking but I am seeing new growth already. So maybe all the attention hes getting from me now is helping. I won't know if its actually Greyson or Gracie until after the blood work Tuesday.

I do have a couple of questions. He LOVES to go hang out on the bedroom floor and chicken scratch. Is this a normal behavior? I do live in Indianapolis and in an apartment which I keep a little warm in the winter. Usually 72-74° just because I refuse to sit around with 3 sweaters on. He will "attempt" to take a bath in his water dish and manages to get his feet wet. I have used a pump up mist sprayer and warm water on him and he does like it, but I don't know if I should be bathing him in the winter. I will turn the heat up to 74 30 minutes before a bath but is it ok to get him that wet in the winter? There's no drafts or anything in here.

Sorry for the long post, but I'm so dang happy I got him I finally had to sit down and tell you all about him.

No particular advice for you Tommy, but just wanted to say a great big WELCOME HOME to gorgeous Greyson! I'm so happy for you and that you found each other, it certainly looks like a match made in heaven

It's probably just some sort of foraging or nesting instinct. I would make sure your birds don't have access to any shadowy tents, boxes, under furniture, bedding, paper piles etc (and pet on the head and neck only if you do) - just in case this is hormonal. If the floor is dark and he's doing this near tall/shadowy furniture, I'd definitely move your bird off the ground.

Congratulations!!!

So very happy for all of you!
As stated above, being on the floor can result in such reaction. Assure your Parrot has stuff to make into tiny pieces, it tends to be a pass time of Grey's!

Get an in-house plant 'mister' and mist up into the air over your Grey! Letting it fall softly on top of him. This time of year, they do need bath time and your temperature is good. But, while drying keep him up higher and never on the floor as it is not uncommon for the floor to be 5 to 10 degrees cooler than at the four foot level.

Again, Congratulations!!!

Welcome back, my heart sings for you and Greyson! What a heartwarming story of Ron "paying it forward" to a man genuinely delighted to receive a Grey. Wishing you long lives of happiness together.

Btw, nice B-17 shirt!

WHAT A BYOO-TEE-MUS BIRD!! Just FYI, I'm originally from Rensselaer, IN, and I know all too well how cold it can get up there! Kudos to you for not wanting to bundle up in your own house!