Struggling to form a bond with our new grey

Paula.L

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Aug 20, 2019
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Hi all, right here goes lol myself & my partner adopted our CAG 6 weeks ago, we got him from a couple who could not look after him anymore, Pablo previously named pappu is 3 yrs old was raised in a non english home, pablo is fantastic at whistles & copying sounds & says hello, he seems to wait until we have left the room before he does this though, he also talks a lot in the language that he has been raised with, he has however learned to say his new name. We seem to have a problem with myself & partner gaining his trust we have a very busy household with 4 children & friends popping in & out, he is fine with everyone else even strangers lol he puts his head down for tickles, lets everyone touch him, dances on que, whistles bobs about getting excited but the minute we walk in the room it stops, he will just about take food from us but thats where it ends if we get too close he will bite us or just completely ignores us, im at a loss as to how to gain his trust when he is friendly with everyone else. Sorry for the long winded post any advice welcome:grey:
 
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Flboy

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Dec 28, 2014
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JoJo, 'Special' GCC, Bongo, Cinnamon GCC(wife's)
He is a Grey!
And, he is picking up on your anxiety and expectations! They are masters at chilling out, learn from this!
He, most likely, is associating you with his latest upheaval! And being a Grey, he doesn’t like change! Without his prior consent!
 

LeaKP

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Aug 11, 2014
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Hello! There’s a lot of advice on the grey forum please take a look. My grey is a rescue and has taken nearly 2 yrs to open up. Now he misses us when we go anywhere, calling for us as we walk out the door. Patience with these intelligent guys is key. If you can outwait him then you’ll make it. However take a look at the advice for greys, it will really help.


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Scott

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Aug 21, 2010
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Goffins: Gabby, Abby, Squeaky, Peanut, Popcorn / Citron: Alice / Eclectus: Angel /Timneh Grey: ET / Blue Fronted Amazon: Gonzo /

RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.

greytness

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Sep 11, 2015
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3 CAGs, BHC, 2 duskie conures, Jardine's, Meyers, pineapple GCC, eclectus, miligold macaw, scarlet macaw, & Panama Amazon
Greys can take a super long time to warm up. Follow his lead and don't push what you'd like onto him. He has to initiate.
With that being said, sit next to him while you do quiet activities, stop to speak gently to him each time you pass by his cage, sing little songs near him and call back or mimic his sounds in response to his calls.
I have 3 greys, one of which lived in a shack with no human contact for over 8 years. When we rescued him he would turn into a porcupine fluff ball whenever I'd walk by. I used his 'fluffiness' to gauge what he was telling me was an unsafe place for me to be in his eyes. Each day I'd speak to him from that distance, but I wouldn't make eye contact. When his feathers relaxed, I'd either do a few small tasks at that spot or leave until he completely decompressed.
Once he was to the point where I could stand by his cage while he remained completely relaxed, I opened up his door and only spoke to him. No reaching in, etc. Mind you I still had to tend to his daily needs: food, paper changes, etc. and couldn't do the above then, but in between regular care I would work on our relationship in this manner.

Fast forward to 4 months later? He was 100% relaxed with me at any point in the room and he was fine coming out to sit on his door.

I've had this amazing guy for 15 months now and he will now step up for me. I've never been bit by him because I took time to always read his queues. I look at the reading as being in 'real time', constantly adjusting according to what I was reading from him.
He is now 100% bonded to me to point where he'll do the flirt dance whenever I'm near or have picked him up.

It's going to take a ton of time and a ton of patience on your part not to rush him. You will both get there...in time!

Good luck with your new grey and enjoy your journey together!
 

AmyMyBlueFront

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Apr 14, 2015
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Amy a Blue Front 'Zon
Jonesy a Goffins 'Too who had to be rehomed :-(

And a Normal Grey Cockatiel named BB who came home with me on 5/20/2016.
Just my honest opinion here..in my thirty-plus years of being owned by parrots,nothing really compares with a Grey! They are highly intelligent (not saying other parrots aren't!) they are highly STUBBORN...they want what they want when they want it! Mischievious and trouble makers!! I had Smokey (TAG) for twenty-eight years,from when she was about six months old,and still couldn't figure her out :confused: She refused to step-up,would antagonize Amy any chance she got (jealous in the worst way) wouldn't allow any type of physical contact,but she was ( in my mind) highly intelligent. If she liked a word or phrase she only needed to hear it once before repeating it. If she didn't like a word or phrase,no amount of me repeating it to her would get her to say it. She knew how to aggravate me to no end and took joy in doing so. IF I could get her to step-up (that only happened if it was her only option) as soon as she saw a safer/better place to be,she'd fly to it. However,she loved to sit on shoulders...for hours! She'd pull my hair,preen my beard,yank on my glasses and regurg on my shoulder. When her "Uncle David" bent over to talk to her,she'd bang her beak on his forehead and make gurgling noises...but DON'T TOUCH ME! She'd yell at the cat.."DAMN CAT!!GO!!!" All of this took a life time of hers to achieve :eek:
Amy and BB are very intelligent also,but Smokes was in a league of her own.
You have a lifetime with your new Grey,don't give up,or give in!


Jim
 
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Paula.L

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Aug 20, 2019
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Thankyou all for your comments & advice they were lovely to read, we get so much pleasure from just watching pablo he truly is an amazing bird & hes fantastic with the children which i am very happy about, i will take all your tips on board thankyou so much ��
 

Laurasea

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Aug 2, 2018
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He is a Grey!
And, he is picking up on your anxiety and expectations! They are masters at chilling out, learn from this!
He, most likely, is associating you with his latest upheaval! And being a Grey, he doesn’t like change! Without his prior consent!

I was also going to say, he probably thinks you stole him from his home!! Lol but seriously they do greive their previous owners, even if they were bad.

Keep showing him how wonderful you are. I'd even sit down and explain the changes to him. I think they can read our intent, or heck even our minds.
Good luck
 

bigfellasdad

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Sep 21, 2017
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Enzo - adopted Female CAG circa 2004. A truly amazing young lady!
Give it time, share quieter chill out times with Pablo, no need to talk with him just share his relax times and give him glances every few minutes as he WILL be checking you guys out a lot. He will enjoy that. Its probably great you have a busy house as no doubt it will allow Pablo to be very socialised. My issues with Enzo is over bonding as my house is just me and her mostly.


Do persevere though as they are truly exceptional animals and friends.
 
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