My conure is afraid of me! (behavior changes)

pixelgirl

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Apr 26, 2012
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I bought my adorable green cheeked Conure almost a year ago and he was a hand fed super friendly little guy (or girl?)! We spend every day together for at least 2-3 hours a day cuddling and playing (he even takes naps with me!). He's not afraid of hands, fingers, being petted or really anything much...

Starting about 1 week ago, he's become afraid of me! If I approach his cage to get him out, he moves to the back and slowly lifts one foot like he'll come out, but only if I go in and get him (he used to spend every waking moment on the bars of the cage smooshed up, trying to get my attention so I'd take him out). I used to be able to just open the door and he'd race over to come to me!

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When my husband and I hang out watching TV, he'll sit on my head but if I try to reach him with my hands, he flies over to my husband (who he's never preferred before) and keeps away from me, like he's afraid of me catching him.

Trying to put him back in his cage has been horrible! I have to chase him around while he flutters screaming until I catch him, which can't possibly help the situation :-(

He's NEVER been this way with me and I'm confused about what I did... a couple of weeks ago we had to clip his wings again but he didn't get really weird until a week after that.

he's about a year old and I'm not sure if he's a boy or girl.

Help me get my best friend back?

:white1:
 

Featheredsamurai

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Aug 24, 2011
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Maybe something happened that he didn't like and he is associating something bad with your hands.

With my bird I have to be careful about what I do immediately when I ask her to go in her cage, and when I ask her to step up. If I do something she doesn't enjoy or isn't fun repeatedly she doesn't want to step up.

If I'm putting on her harness I make sure to take her downstairs and play with her first so she doesn't think coming off her cage means putting on the harness(I don't force it on her, but she doesn't like that it makes her front heavy and bites the leash. A better harness is in the mail). I'm pretty good at it now, but at first I made several mistakes.

You should try touch training with a target stick and clicker, conures learn this very fast and I'm positive it will help you with him because he will enjoy it.
 

BillsBirds

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Jan 9, 2012
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Largo, Florida
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Timneh African Grey (Bailey), Lovebird (Elvis)
Has anything changed with you? New glasses, hair color, anything? It could be a reaction to anything new or different.
 
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pixelgirl

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Thanks for the help you guys!

I dye my hair different colors all of the time and he seems to like that (maybe it's the bright colors;-)

I did clip his wings a few weeks ago which he didn't enjoy - I just didn't know he would be permanently damaged from the activity!

Mostly it seems like he's only afraid of being picked up by my hands. He tentatively steps up but jumps straight to my shoulders to prevent me from holding him.

Copperarabian: you are probably right - I just ordered some click training stuff so hopefully he'll like that. I'm just sad that I did something to freak him out so badly! :-(

Also, a week ago I took him some baby squirrels (i'm a licensed wildlife rehabber) but I always wash my hands and that doesn't seem like he'd be mad at my hands for that...
 

solobaby

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Jul 14, 2011
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Solo(indian ringneck)-Marley(green cheek conure)- Dobby (cockatiel)
i think it has to do with you clipping his wings
 
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pixelgirl

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Well, i'm NEVER doing THAT again! I really hope I can regain back his trust with some positive reinforcement.

Do you guys ever clip wings and have this happen? Thanks for all of the help!
 

ann

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Feb 18, 2011
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1 nanday conure Black Jack, 1 Brotogeris parakeet Whiff, 1 ring neck dove Eliza, and 6 society finches (3 are tame). RIP my parent pairs of societies and my little gouldian finches
Try talking to him slowly and give him his favorite treats, don't force him, just take it slow and rebuild your trust. Good luck, he'll come around :)
 

solobaby

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Solo(indian ringneck)-Marley(green cheek conure)- Dobby (cockatiel)
i clip my teil and my indian ringneck and i havent had to clip my green cheek yet - but i find my green cheek is alot more sensitive and its easier to hurt his feeling so to speak
 

lene1949

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Sep 26, 2011
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Brisbane, Australia
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Cory: Short billed Corella -
Echo: Galah -
Max: Alexandrine -
Skye: Yellow Sided conure -
Luka: Green Cheek Conure -
RIP Shrek: Quaker
I clipped my alexandrine, and even though he was extremely pissed off with me, it only lasted a few days...

I'm wondering about your nails.. Do you always use the same chemicals? Colours? Maybe he's had enough of the changes to hair, nails etc...???
 

lexx510

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Mar 13, 2011
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Pineapple Green Cheek Conure
I take Guava to a local bird shop to get her wings clipped. That way she's mad at them and not me, lol.

I'd highly suggest step up training. Never force her to step up or be petted(this will only further dminish your relationship) , work with her pace. When she does step up, reinforce immediatly with her favorite treat and lots of verbal praise. This will help to rebuild positive association with your hands. Use lots of positive reinforcement (e.g., treat, verbal praise) every time she makes progress. When she lets you get nearer to her, reinforce. When she lets you pet her, reinforce, etc. It's worked wonders with Guava when we went through a similar phase.
 
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pixelgirl

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Thank you guys so much for taking the time to give me suggestions!! I should have known that Cake (my green cheek) would be sensitive since he's so emotional:)

I've been giving him treats for coming over to my hand and I'm sure it'll take a while but I'm hoping that he'll just come around after he realizes I'll never be mean again!! ;-)

Any suggestions for small treats that won't make him fat? (I have to give him a bunch if this is gonna work! ;-)
 

Featheredsamurai

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Does he like millet spray? I know cockatiels go crazy for it.

Also nuts are good, I give Rosie walnuts that I slice into bite size pieces. Most nuts are much healthier then seeds. Also noodles are great too.
 
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pixelgirl

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UPDATE:

First off, thank you SO much for all of the helpful suggestions! I've been doing a TON of training and positive response stuff and it's WORKING!!

It's been about 24 hours since I started and he's already 60% back to where we were before! I'm so excited that there is a light at the end of my tunnel and that my bestie and I can cuddle again soon:)

THANK YOU!!!
 

1976pianoman

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Jul 26, 2012
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1 female green cheek conure named Sophia
I thought I would add to this conversation. My GCC Sophia is doing the same exact thing and I do not wear nail polish or have I changed my hairdo. I have had her for 4 years and have never experienced this. She loves to come to my shoulder, but is totally afraid of my hands. She's never had fear of hands before. She is fine once she's in my hand, and I assure her it's okay - yet it's getting her in my hand that is tricky. To make matters even more curious - at night, she is not afraid of my hands.

The only thing I can think is going on is that I use to groom/pinch her pin feathers with my fingers when I was holding her, sometimes a pit prematurely and this causes her pain. Of course I never meant to hurt her, be that as it may - my hand caused her pain. Either that or one time when she bit me when she was on my shoulder and had gotten scared of something I was holding, I grabbed her defensively - quickly and tightly, as I was reacting in much pain. I may have been too forceful. Finally, my last theory is that this has something to do with her hormones. She's been known to rub on my hand when she's horny. She only does this to me and nobody else. Maybe she has somehow sexualized my hand, and when I go to grab her now she is "not in the mood".

If we put our thinking and experiences together her maybe we can figure out just what is going on. To the OP, what is the status now of your situation? Has it improved?
 
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DebsFlock

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Jul 19, 2012
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Los Angeles County, near Palmdale
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Scooter -- male Green Cheek Conure "Normal" but that's a matter of opinion! Hatched in March 2010

Scotty -- Male Cape Parrot hatched somewhere between 2007-2009 we think

Caballo Blanco -- male C
I don't think it was the wing clipping, especially given the timing. People who trim their birds regularly generally just "make up" with them right away and don't report ongoing problems. I never had a problem when we were doing Scooter ourselves, but Scotty has a bit of an issue with being groomed, so I have caved and been taking everybody to the parrot store for trimming where I don't have to worry about being bad guy at all.

The putting one foot up and then being unsure... Scooter sometimes does this. I've not completely figured it out, but I think sometimes I get a little distracted or casual and take him out rather quickly or whiz his little head right by a toy or the door opening. Try slowing way down...
 

friedsoup

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Senegal Male Bogart
Alright here is another view maybe it has nothing to do with clipping his wings but let me just guess you are the one who gets him out and puts him away for night nite? You got him out the day of the clipping? It just might be that your hubby needs to be the one who gets him out and put him up for the night so he doesn't associate you with the one who spoils all his fun (i.e. Hanging out on the couch and flying) just a suggestion try the role reversal for a week or so and you be the one who does all the fun things with your bird. Couldn't hurt.
 

aileng88

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Oct 25, 2015
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Does your conure love you again?

I HAVE THE SAME EXACT PROBLEM. AND ITS HEARTBREAKING.

My conure Kiko used to run to the cage door so i would take him out. Now he hides int he back. About a week ago i fell asleep with him under my covers and someone knocked on the door and he just panicked. Ever since he wont come out his cage, or let me grab him. I tricked him into coming out yesterday and he went into straight panic mode and flew against the wall. It was so sad :(

Iv ebeen giving him space and feeding him from my hand, but he still wont come to me.

I miss my bestfriend too. Im about to go to pet store and spoil him with lots of toys. hoepfully he will forgive me for whatever I did.


help!
 

MonicaMc

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Sep 12, 2012
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Mitred Conure - Charlie 1994;
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alieng88, it may take more time than a week for your green cheek to settle down. Unfortunately, it sounds like he associated the scary knocking with you, so he needs time to learn you aren't a thread to him.

The best you can do is to give him time to settle down again and try not to appear threatening to him. Also, try to avoid putting him in situations that will result in him going into panic mode.
 

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