Charlie prefers other people

Good evening,
For those of you know might not remember I rescued a Blue Crown Conure whomed I named Charlie. Well we have been doing ok his as tame as I think I can make him, but to make a long story short I came to spend the week with my family in NYC and took Charlie with me. To my surprise he has opened up to my sister and my two nieces ages 5 and soon to be 3. He allows my sister and my nieces to take him out of his cage with no problem and talks up a storm. They have thought him to blow kisses and say gimme me kiss in about 4 days. When I try to play with him he is ready to take my finger off. So after watching him interact with them I'm a bit sadden by the whole situation but i'm also very happy that Charlie even after going through what he has gone through can be a very loving bird. I took it upon myself to rescue him and show him love but now I find myself trying to decide if it would be best for him to be with my sister and little girls or bring him back with me and continue working with him.

You have a bird who prefers women he may tolerate you but he will most likely always prefer women (so do I! hahahah) I had a Hawk headed Parrot for three months she came around and I thought she was progressing nicely until I went home to NC and took her to the Pet store where four women work and my shy hawk head starts talking up a storm and going to anyone female this bird hadn't spoken a word in 3 months. So I found her a home with a single mother (with a daughter) who thinks she it the best bird ever. Sigh! I still looking for that bird who loves me and talks up a storm.

I was gonna say the same thing. Chichis previous owner was a guy. But he really took to his mother who he lived with. When I brought him home he liked my husband but truly adored me. And even now he talks to me and other women for than any man, and he's sure to bite a finger if it isn't a woman's. I guess it's just the bird. Nothing you've done. So don't beat yourself up. =\

How much time do you spend with him? If they are spending more time with him then you, then he is going to want them more. My conure Cooper chooses me over my husband cause Im the one who cares for her.. Im with her all the time, if you really want him why not have you sister and nieces keep their distance from him and only you be with him and teach him tricks... he probably isnt comfortable with you cause your family are in the spot light. Im not an expert so by all means this is just my opinion.. and if that doesnt work you might want to see if your sister wants him, but if you want him you need to let him know your his mommy. Hope this helps...

I agree with kern. Food is also a wonderful bonding trick. When he comes to you or is playing with you bring the treats out. And make sure you're the one feeding him. They learn quick who mama is. Like kern said. If someone else is feeding him that's who they will bond to since that is who they have to depend on to feed them everyday. So if you aren't the one filling his bowls, you should take over.

Lovelyloribeth said:

I was gonna say the same thing. Chichis previous owner was a guy. But he really took to his mother who he lived with. When I brought him home he liked my husband but truly adored me. And even now he talks to me and other women for than any man, and he's sure to bite a finger if it isn't a woman's. I guess it's just the bird. Nothing you've done. So don't beat yourself up. =\

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As was I.

I too adopted a blue crown, abandoned in a pet store's women's restroom, and Tybbi has slowly warmed up to me, but is not the same adorable bundle of feathers that Rusty is. Given the previous person who had tried out the bird (female) returned it, I suspect Tybbi might have an aversion to women (the original owner being a woman and dropping it off in there, unless the original owner was a guy who not only wanted to abandon a bird but scare a woman in the process, but I don't think that's the more probable possibility).

Kern2012 said:

How much time do you spend with him? If they are spending more time with him then you, then he is going to want them more. My conure Cooper chooses me over my husband cause Im the one who cares for her.. Im with her all the time, if you really want him why not have you sister and nieces keep their distance from him and only you be with him and teach him tricks... he probably isnt comfortable with you cause your family are in the spot light. Im not an expert so by all means this is just my opinion.. and if that doesnt work you might want to see if your sister wants him, but if you want him you need to let him know your his mommy. Hope this helps...

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Those are great points. Other family members can distract, and if the bird prefers one gender over the other, to get the bird to like your gender again will take a lot of time and pampered treatment.

Lovelyloribeth said:

I agree with kern. Food is also a wonderful bonding trick. When he comes to you or is playing with you bring the treats out. And make sure you're the one feeding him. They learn quick who mama is. Like kern said. If someone else is feeding him that's who they will bond to since that is who they have to depend on to feed them everyday. So if you aren't the one filling his bowls, you should take over.

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Ditto -- on all counts. Food, especially tasty treat food like millet, papaya, and other fruits will make a positive impression more quickly ("Here comes the Good Humor Guy with my yummy treats!"), but your point on the OP changing the food dishes every day will hasten the process as well... that consistency you'd recommended is perfect to employ.


Seabass - congrats on adopting the bird and making the attempt! I'd try working with Charlie in the way others had mentioned. Slowly, over a month or so, Charlie should hopefully open up to you. When I got Tybbi, he would snap as well. I did employ some proactive tactics to let Tybbi know who the flock leader is, and Tybbi does now enjoy head scratches and some human hand contact, but letting the bird come to you always does the most good as the bird is the one making the biggest leap of faith regarding trust, rather than accepting a situation brought to it.

The gender issue brought about by the previous owner does not help, but the theme of using food (and treats!) and letting the bird come to you will do the most good. Patience is the key, unfortunately... but even I got my other adopted soul, Rosie, to take food out of my hand and the abuse she endured from her previous owner rendered her very afraid of human hands, and always will be. But with patience and time, she turned around - to an extent.

Your might prefer females forevermore, but Charlie might make an exception out of you with time and care.

Best of luck with Charlie, and please keep us posted!!

Since I rescued him I spend around 5 hours a day with him. I sat in front of his cage read books and talked to him and started target training him(only way I got him out). I kept a good routine and after a few weeks he was not afraid of people anymore walking by his cage. I took my time with him, well Charlie is a ladies man for sure, he acts like a cuddle bug around my little nieces and sister and they are getting attached to him. So it looks like he wont be going back to PA with me, but I do feel much better he stays in the family and he won't suffer anymore how he did before.