Advice needed

Hi, I posted in the new member intros with my issues but was advised to post here.
I'm new owner for 3 weeks of a 2 year old cinnamon GCC and just having the cliched usual new owner issues.
She's tame and social and I'm trying to train her but its all on her terms, not mine.
Shes flighted so can easy move away out of my reach if she's unwilling to interact. She hates being put in her cage, even for meals.
I've gone back to basics with target training but she only seems to do that if she feels like it. Then she flies up high away. She comes to me when she wants to and ignores recall.
I'm feeling a bit of a failure and like I'm doing everything wrong.
I'm watching so many miraculous training vids and techniques and it never goes that well when I do it.
If I don't get some control over her my partner will make me get rid of her as his patience is wearing thin.
My ultimate goal is to have a friendly happy well trained bird we can both interact with and enjoy.
Any help and advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Update.
Being very short, with the use of a stool I've mamaged to coax her down from the top of the mantle mirror onto my hand and to and from my hand to a brand new perch.
We're still only following the stick short distances now but she is starting to go where it is.
Please tell me this IS progress right?
I'm planning to work on increasing distances until she follows it across the room. Then hopefully guide it towards the cage until she can perch on it without fear of being put away. Then eventually coax her on to my hand and keep her distracted while my hand goes inside.
I'm desperate for her to learn that the cage means toys, food and chill time, and is not a punishment.
Advice still needed. Am I going about this the right way? Its slow but will it help?
Is short bursts the way to go? Im giving her a rest now and letting what shes learned so far sink in before we repeat and do more later.
Phew!

Taking the bird to a room it does not usually frequent often helps because you'll be the only thing familiar in there.....wing clipping will take away the bird's ability to fly away, giving you the bird's attention.....

Take a look at clicker training text & videos.....

Does your bird have a favourite food? Eg sunflower seeds or pine nuts? With my GCC jasmine I bribe her/reward her and some days when she's cranky the only interaction we have is touch training with a chop stick through the bars of her cage for a pine nut. It sounds like you need to go back to basics - talk to your bird and gain its trust. Then make being with you the best thing ever through rewards etc.

I suggest having the wings clipped for now. By the time they grow back in she should be well trained and bonded to you. I would suggest having someone like a vet or bird groomer clip the wings. That way she will learn that she can't fly away and avoid you. It can be done without clipping but it is many times harder. and with the partner getting irritated ,I would consider it

I wouldn't recommend wing clipping as there are plenty of other way to help with bonding.

First thing that comes to mind, how much time per session are you spending trying to do train? Try to keep it to about 10 minutes at most per session. Also if you can try to stop the session before the bird wants to stop. This will help keep the birds interest up for next time.

Do you have any sort of treats you give the bird during training that the bird loves? If you find something only give him that treat during training and not part of his meal inside his cage.

She hates being put in her cage, even for meals.

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During play time if you play with her around her cage, just leave the cage door open with her food inside. Also remember to set up foraging toys. Just let the bird go in and out of the cage at will. For the times when you are to put her back offer a treat by holding it just inside the cage where she has to climb in to get it. Also don't always close the door behind her when she does go in for the treat, randomly leave the door open. You can also use this to put it to command. For instance I did this with my sun Conure, every time he went into the cage for the treat I would so "go back". Now I can tell him "go back" before offering a treat.

You can also give her treats while the bird stand on top of the cage to help get the bird use to it.

Then she flies up high away. She comes to me when she wants to and ignores recall.

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How bonded is the bird to you? Does the bird see you as part of their flock yet? You could try doing something else that would indirectly get the birds attention. If seeing you as part of the flock you could try leaving the room for a few moments then trying again. Or leave the room and go get yourself a snack you can brign back for both you and the bird, then just sit down in view of the bird and start eating.

If I don't get some control over her my partner will make me get rid of her as his patience is wearing thin.

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You do need to have patience with these sorts of things.

P.S.
The coming to you on command thing won't be helped by clipping the wings. I'm speaking from having experience with both clipping and not clipping here.

She's never been clipped and I don't really want to go down that route. I honestly think it would be traumatic and she would resent me for it. She loves flying. It seems cruel to hinder her to suit me.
I know there's a whole big debate on it and I understand the reasons people do it, I just don't think its for her and would prefer to try other ways.

She's tame and social and I'm trying to train her but its all on her terms, not mine.
It will always be on her terms, conures are bossy little things, and if something's up she will make sure you know about it

Shes flighted so can easy move away out of my reach if she's unwilling to interact. She hates being put in her cage, even for meals.
Consider a light clip, it really has helped me and I've never had any resentment from my birds, and if you get someone else to clip then it'll be their fault and not yours!

She comes to me when she wants to and ignores recall.
Recall takes quite a while to establish, work out what her favourite food is and get her to come to you for that, like stepping up from her cage. Start with tiny distances like that, eventually you'll be able to shake the food container and she'll come charging for the treats!!!

I'm feeling a bit of a failure and like I'm doing everything wrong.
Owning a conure will sometimes feel like this, they're bossy, moody and have gigantic personalities. It's only been two weeks and it will take time because she's a little older but she will settle.

Train her in a separate room away from your partner and her cage with as little distractions in the room as possible. Also be prepared to change up your training styles, because like toddlers (which they essentially are) they get more and need different types of stimulus to keep them engaged.

If you ever had behaviour problems I'll be happy to help, my two have pushed me to the edge more than once, and my partner hates them on and off, we're in a good place at the moment though, hormone/bitey season is over.
There's also a lot of information in the conure section of this forum, pretty much any problem you encounter will be somewhere in the archives (biggest section on forum for a reason )

Good luck and welcome to the forum.

Hi Leelee. I'm somewhat new to birds and have 2 conures. A sun and a jenday. The jenday is flighted and very well behaved. I also believe that your birds wings should be clipped for now. There are great video's on youtube for this. My husband doesn't want ths sun to be clipped but I tell him that he has to "earn his wings". Once your bird is well trained then he can be flighted but for now so you won't have to get rid of him please clip the wings.

My sun is very active and I'm still having trouble with trimming his nails but the clicker training is going very well and he shows that he's so proud of himself. He takes his treat each time and chest pumps out a bit showing how proud he is of himself. He is eager to do more.

You are not punishing your bird by clipping his wings. You are actually teaching him to be self controlled and tame.