He Loves Me, He Loves me Not!

Cut to the chase: I had a conure that went from love bug for 3 months to terrified of me. Is this normal? I really want to get another bird but I'm afraid that this is REALLY common?

Here is the back story:
So, I got a wonderful hand fed turquoise green cheek conure from a local breeder as a baby. He was very very sweet and came to me easily the first day we drove an hour to pick him up. I say him but I am not sure what sex he was. He was FANTASTIC!! Finally the perfect bird for our family!! I work from home so I always had him out of his cage either on a perch or his cage playing and interacting with me. He would get so excited to see me each morning when I'd open his cage. He would play with my earrings and snuggle into my hands like a nest. He was loving and adorable. WELL, that didn't last. One day, happened to be the day after my son's 6th birthday he changed 180 degrees. He was terrified of me! He wouldn't let me come near him and would cower in his cage. For 3 months I tried to regain his trust thinking something had spooked him. Nothing worked. And the other strange thing is that he was fine with my husband where he hadn't been before. My husband could pick him up off the ground when he'd fly off his cage, I couldn't not matter what I tried. He even let my husband cuddle him. I would spend pretty much all my waking hours with this lil guy, talking to him, giving him treats etc. and my husband would come out of his office for 15 minutes at a time a couple times a day. But he hated me. I was heartbroken. I went to all the forums and even contacted some big name parrot behaviorist but all they could tell me was that "this happens sometimes". They couldn't tell me why or how. We found him another wonderful home, a couple who had another conure so I know he was going to get a lot of attention.

But my question is, is this radical 180 degree change in behavior normal? I sooooo want another conure that will let me interact and love him!! But I'm so afraid something will happen again. I'm not asking for guarantees but I'm just wondering if this was a fluke or if this is VERY LIKELY TO HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE? There is a green cheek at the Petsmart I've seen there for about 2 months now. Every time I go in he goes nuts and wants so much love!! I heald him today and he actually turned over on his back and laid in my hand, playing with my fingers! Then he tried to regurgitate to me!!! The lady who works their said he doesn't do that with anyone and that the other sun conure got all the attention. That normally their greencheeks are pretty friendly but this particular one wasn't as much so she couldn't believe how he was acting with me! I know it's probably too good to be true, she could be saying this just to make a sale. But I need other bird owners' advice! Is it a pipe dream that I can own a bird that won't hate me?

P.S. I got a parakeet for my son last april and I spend all my days with him. He is quite the talker and says a ton of cute stuff he learned from Disco the Parakeet. He is a handfed but doesn't like hands. I've been working with him to get more comfortable but he prefers to be left alone and talked to all day - he loves attention just not affection. I miss it! I want a bird that will let me cuddle! Here is a picture of my GCC before he decided I was scum!

Here is his snuggling on his shoulder that I couldn't get him off of!

There was a thread somewhat similar to what you are going through.
It could be that he's getting to his hormonal stage, but I have yet to experience that!

Your husband could have also been chosen as his favorite person.

Is there any new pieces of jewelry or makeup your'e wearing? What about perfumes? Or what has changed around his cage?

The GCC at the pet store could really be bonding to you, but the regurgitating could become a future issue (getting too attached and hormonal) causing him/her to be a one-person bird.

Out of curiosity, if you were to get another bird what would happen to him?

How old was your bird? I agree with EAI that he could have been getting into his hormonal stage. How is he doing now with the new family/home? If his behavior wasn't from hormones, is it possible that something happened, maybe at your son's birthday party, that may have scared him?? Birds have very good memories and don't forget things that spook them. How long did you have him after his behavior changed, and how did you go about trying to get him to like you again?

As far as getting another bird, IMO any bird can be a one person bird and that means you may or may not be the chosen person. There is no way of knowing that beforehand. If you spend time training and socializing them you can overcome "some" of it. By that I mean even though they prefer one person, they will tolerate others. What will happen to this new bird if you get him and he isn't what you want him to be either? Just a thought, have you considered adopting an older bird from a rescue? They need homes and if they were older you would bypass the puberty stage and see their real personality.

i have a green cheek who decided i was the scum of the earth after 2 months and bite me every time hard,now 3 years further she tolerates me.i had to put up with her bites for 2 years,i have the scars too prove it.i have another one who is terrified off me since i got him 10 months ago,now he also begins to tolerate me and come to me.

We all want the "perfect bird," who doesn't bite, not too noisy, etc.. But I have learned that their personalities are as different as people's! So you never really know what you're going to get. So you just accept them as they are, and love them regardless. My Fiji is a love bug, and I mistakenly assumed that Sundance would be the same way. WRONG! He hates anyone touching him and will bite you if you try. But he has so many other good qualities, and Fiji loves him, so I love him too, DESPITE his brattiness. When I figured out that everything has to be on THEIR terms, my life became easier.

Good luck!

My Polly (GCC) is 4 year old. I brought him in when he a baby. He used to play with me and used to follow me everywhere.
I think, it was Sept 11, when he was sitting on my hand and I was sitting on sofa, watching TV (Polly and I have been siting for last 4 years) when he got scared from something and started flying around. After that event, he was so scared of me that I was not able to put him back in his cage.
He did not come to me for several days. Now he has started coming to me when I am sitting on my computer chair and let me scratch his head but still avoids coming to me when I am anywhere else.
I think you should try to touch your bird when he wants you to touch him. Do not force him do anything.

To EAI, I had gotten him a bigger cage so after he changed I put him back in the first cage and made sure all his toys wee rearranged the old way. I did think maybe changing things up when he liked them the way they were stressed him out. I wonder if this is something I've done unknowingly that has stressed him out. So I try to keep Weston's cage the same most of the time and just swap out toys but keep them in the same "zones".

it was about a total of about 6 months before we decided to rehome him. About 3 months of bliss and 3 months of trying to rehabilitate him. I was totally devastated and did everything I could to figure out what went wrong. If I had been given any advice at the time that it would take a while but that it was likely he could come around I would have tried longer. But the "experts" I contacted, ie. Sally Blanchard and some others I found including rescues that deal with problems and might have a unique insight, never told me that things could get better. I was basically told that some birds change their minds and decide they like a different person and that's it, no matter what you do. I was totally devastated.

I'm sure there are a lot of bird owners who will disagree with me but what is right for you may not be right for me or the bird for that matter. I understand that owning an animal is a commitment. However, If I am the primary caregiver of an animal and it hates me why would I want it to experience that? It was heartbreaking to have to find him a new home but it's no life for the bird if he has to be around me every waking hour of the day scared and hating it!! Just like people, birds have personalities and sometimes they just don't mesh. Some people like German shepherds, some like chihuahuas. Nothing wrong with that.

I really appreciate the posts here that were not judgmental and actually offered up some interesting advice. I think you are right about finding a bird that is already mature. That way it knows what it likes, who it likes and it's probably easier to match personalities to the right person. I will keep that in mind in the future.

As for my current bird, Weston, he isn't going anywhere. I love him! Wish he wasn't afraid of hands but we still have wonderful conversations and he makes me smile.

i am sorry if i sounded too harsh ,this is a very touchy subject to me.
my whole life my mother would bring new pets to our home just to give them away to someone else because they weren't what she thought they would be.this happened a lot,right now she has 8 parrots,which she is already thinking of getting rid off some of them,because she wants an amazon ,the last years she already gave away 4 cockatiels and 2 green cheeks.
right now we also have 2 rabbits and 2 ferrets and 1 dog that only get attention from me,even trough i didn't want them.
i do agree with other the regurgitating could cause a problem ,but if you don't mind the work(and getting puked over)i would do it.there is no greater feeling than being chosen by a bird.

Thank you Hacatta, I appreciate that. The real offensive post I think was deleted cuz it's not here anymore.

I'm sorry you are overwhelmed with so many animals. Your mom could be doing it to fill a void and will keep doing it til she recognizes why.

As for your birds, I commend you for sticking it out. I couldn't have handled that kind of aggression from any animal. Good luck to you and I hope they come around someday!

Any posts that are judgmental, harsh, or that bash the OP will be removed as it against forum rules to openly bash fellow members.

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. Let's keep this thread positive and provide the OP with helpful and useful advice.

~The Mod Team

Techmom said:

Thank you Hacatta, I appreciate that. The real offensive post I think was deleted cuz it's not here anymore.

I'm sorry you are overwhelmed with so many animals. Your mom could be doing it to fill a void and will keep doing it til she recognizes why.

As for your birds, I commend you for sticking it out. I couldn't have handled that kind of aggression from any animal. Good luck to you and I hope they come around someday!

Click to expand...

thank you for being so understanding,before reading your post i had a fight with her about the amazon,which is probably why i flew off the handle

Here's the deal, with any bird, they can turn 180 on you very quickly. Especially ones that's going through their first major hormone. If you can stick it out, you can turn it around down the road when the time is right. All they need is some reassurance. I've dealt with that countless times, the last one I've dealt with was my Black Lory, Malachai, he got to be super aggressive with me, even fly attacked both of us and draw blood. I let him be and eventually he turned around on his own over time and came around start acting like his normal self once again.

Good thing you've found our forum, now you would be able to ask the questions away before placing them into another home as he probably just needs time to turn around loving you once again. But sometimes we must rehome due to complicated reasons or reasons we didn't understand until you find the answers like you have found here.

Happy learning!!!