My mom has fallen in love with Kyo

Dinosrawr said:

I think it's really important to remember in this situation that parrots aren't so shallow. I know a lot of people that Avery perks right up for - she'll chirp happily and step up and be so pleased with their attention, and sometimes I feel like I don't do that enough and one day she won't care for me as much because I don't provide what they did. A good example of this is my boyfriend's friend. He coos over Avery and just adores her and she likes him too. One day he came over and wanted to handle her, but she was out on the very top of her boing near the ceiling and just chirped back. But as soon as I walked over to her? She scurried down that boing so quick and stepped right up to be cuddled by mom.

I guess what I'm trying to say is don't disregard the love that Kyo has for you. She may have a relationship with your mom, and yeah she probably loves being spoiled, but I imagine that when you come to see her she wants to see you just as badly. Any bird could have all day out, but considering how social they are and how strongly they bond (especially pair bond birds like conures), I would imagine Kyo would rather have 30 minutes out with you than, say, 10 hours out with your mom. It's a bit extreme of an example, but Kyo loves you. I'm confident in that. I'm sure she'll be happy to be back with HER flock. Your mom is more of a friendly flock she gets to visit.

Click to expand...

Kyoto said:

So, long story short, my house is a disaster… I mean, it was getting close to hoarder level in some rooms… My hubby has a hard time throwing things away.

I do not. He has gone away for a few weeks and so I decided to do some really good cleaning. I tried to get it done with Kyo, but I was finding it really difficult to give her enough attention and get it all done (yep - it's THAT bad).

So, my mom decided to look after her for a few days. I'm at the point in my cleaning that I could take her home and keep picking away slowly, but my mom keeps saying "Oh she loves it here, let me keep her another night" She face times me and has been feeding her lots of veggies and fruit and is really loving having Kyo around...

Well, I've been without my birb for almost a week… I've gone to my parents' to play with her a few nights when I don't work the next day. I'm not really afraid of not getting her back or anything, but she is being so spoiled and let out so much I'm getting anxious about bringing her back home and not giving her the same freedom (because of the cats roaming around). She's confined to her room here, or the cats are confined to the basement. It really isn't ideal, but it's all I can do.

Just needed to vent a bit. Feeling really guilty because I miss my baby and want her with me… but I'm not sure if she's going to be thrilled about coming home after her "vacation".

What does a lonely mom do?

Click to expand...

rosembers said:

Respectfully, and for the love of parrots, here's what I read directly from the post:

"my house is a disaster… I mean, it was getting close to hoarder level in some rooms"

"...it's THAT bad"

"my mom keeps saying "Oh she loves it here, let me keep her another night" She face times me and has been feeding her lots of veggies and fruit and is really loving having Kyo around..."

"I'm getting anxious about bringing her back home and not giving her the same freedom (because of the cats roaming around). She's confined to her room here, or the cats are confined to the basement. It really isn't ideal, but it's all I can do."

"I'm not sure if she's going to be thrilled about coming home after her 'vacation'"


Parrots are exotic species that often do NOT receive the necessary mentally and physically enriching environments necessary for their well being. They are exotic species that require a ton of care, love, attention, bonding, physical activity/flight time, etc. They need to be the CENTER OF OUR WORLDS. I would be concerned to hear about any parrot that lives in a house that is deemed a "disaster" and especially when that bird is confined to a room, that means it is not in the center of the life of the home which is crucial to parrot well being. I rescue parrots and I have seen damaged birds that are so emotionally withdrawn that they pluck themselves bald.

Maybe I'm lacking some of the touchie-feelie sensitivities, but for the sake of being honest and the "tough love" aspect, my priority lies within those who cannot speak for themselves. I am reading about a bird that has a home it's owner considers a disaster and not ideal and it is confined in one room *VS* a home where it is given tons of attention, fresh fruits/veggies, and face-timed to see how happy it is. Plus that home is with a family member, win-win!

Sometimes we need to swallow our pride and be sure we understand what is best for someone else, as opposed to what we want or feel is best for ourselves. Parrots need to be our EVERYTHING. Sometimes loving them means being honest with ourselves about whether what we are able to provide them is truly good for THEM. Unless I'm missing something, the original post I read does not sound ideal for a parrot, even per the OP.

Click to expand...

rosembers said:

Respectfully, and for the love of parrots, here's what I read directly from the post:

"my house is a disaster… I mean, it was getting close to hoarder level in some rooms"

"...it's THAT bad"

"my mom keeps saying "Oh she loves it here, let me keep her another night" She face times me and has been feeding her lots of veggies and fruit and is really loving having Kyo around..."

"I'm getting anxious about bringing her back home and not giving her the same freedom (because of the cats roaming around). She's confined to her room here, or the cats are confined to the basement. It really isn't ideal, but it's all I can do."

"I'm not sure if she's going to be thrilled about coming home after her 'vacation'"


Parrots are exotic species that often do NOT receive the necessary mentally and physically enriching environments necessary for their well being. They are exotic species that require a ton of care, love, attention, bonding, physical activity/flight time, etc. They need to be the CENTER OF OUR WORLDS. I would be concerned to hear about any parrot that lives in a house that is deemed a "disaster" and especially when that bird is confined to a room, that means it is not in the center of the life of the home which is crucial to parrot well being. I rescue parrots and I have seen damaged birds that are so emotionally withdrawn that they pluck themselves bald.

Maybe I'm lacking some of the touchie-feelie sensitivities, but for the sake of being honest and the "tough love" aspect, my priority lies within those who cannot speak for themselves. I am reading about a bird that has a home it's owner considers a disaster and not ideal and it is confined in one room *VS* a home where it is given tons of attention, fresh fruits/veggies, and face-timed to see how happy it is. Plus that home is with a family member, win-win!

Sometimes we need to swallow our pride and be sure we understand what is best for someone else, as opposed to what we want or feel is best for ourselves. Parrots need to be our EVERYTHING. Sometimes loving them means being honest with ourselves about whether what we are able to provide them is truly good for THEM. Unless I'm missing something, the original post I read does not sound ideal for a parrot, even per the OP.

Click to expand...

rosembers said:

I apologize if Sarah felt I was saying she was unfit or anything else some of you have said. I did not say that she is, but if it felt like that, then I am TRULY sorry. I am confident she loves Kyo and that is wonderful.

Respectfully, please understand that if a post is made, it cannot be expected that everyone who reads it is going to know *additional* info about the scenario if it isn't in the post. From what I read in the original post, it honestly sounded concerning. She said so herself in a later post that hoarding level was a bit of an exaggeration. I am relieved about that, but how is someone supposed to know that's an exaggeration in the original post? I am confident Sarah loves Kyo and I'm not saying she's a bad parront. I have seen so many birds with major physical and psychological problems and honestly the scenario in the original post did sound concerning! Nobody can be expected to know additional information that is not provided in the original post. If I hear of any parrot that is confined to a cage or a single room, that would make me sad. Parrots naturally are built to fly miles and miles every day and so many of them don't get what they need to be healthy birds. BUT if that parront has other ways of spending time with their bird, giving it exercise, and a lot of love and attention, then that is great! I did not read any of those things in the original post, so please see where my feedback came from. It honestly did concern me. But I have read additional posts from Sarah that do highlight those things that she does and she sounds like a wonderful parront! I did not see that information in the original post, please understand how that would naturally be concerning to someone.

To Sarah, I am truly sorry if I made you feel judged or feel bad. My intentions were not so. I can see that you have a history with some of the other members on here whom have a lot of respect for you and that is wonderful. The things you have since posted about her sound like you take great care of her and you love Kyo very much.

Click to expand...