A candid look at the first 17 days with our new family member

wildside50

New member
Jul 5, 2016
15
0
I’d like to share my personal experience with the first 17 days since bringing home our newest family member, Sol. This is going to be a candid, honest, and sometimes disheartening (though hopefully altogether uplifting!) look at one family’s expectations, experiences, and reality.

I’m going to start at the beginning. Like, the WAY beginning. My wife and I have one child, a six year old girl (I promise this will be at least somewhat relevant to the story). Over the years we have at one time or another considered having another child, because we love being parents more than anything in the world. One thing or another, however, always stopped us. Do we have enough money tucked away for another baby? What if the baby has special needs? What if one of us is laid off? Do we have enough space for a baby? Do we have enough time for a baby? (By now any parrot owner probably sees where I’m going with this).

The thing about our daughter is, she’s absolutely fantastic. I know most parents dote on their child and gloss over the negatives, but I mean it; my daughter is a genuinely wonderful human being who I cannot wait to get to know for the next 50+ years. She is considerate, respectful, obedient, thoughtful, selfless, and empathetic; everything you’d want in a child. We hit the jackpot.

And I remember reading all of those stories and parenting books about how having a child will change things, and that they are far more difficult than you might think. I found things just the opposite. My daughter was the most easy-going baby ever, loved her fruits and veggies, didn’t get into trouble (we never even opened our “baby proofing kit”), and was just a hoot to be around. That holds true to this day.

Fast forward to July 4th, 2016. After much consideration (probably more than having another baby!), we added a bird to our family. I urge you to read the honeymoon phase feelings we all experienced early on here --

http://www.parrotforums.com/conures/62886-just-hello-new-conure-parent-family.html

Now, 17 VERY short days later, I want to share some of our experiences that snapped us from newborn baby-town into cold hard reality-….ville. Ville’s are always worse than towns, right?

The day after my initial exuberance about my awesome new bird who can handle anything, I found our new family member lethargic and ruffled. Uh oh, what have I done? My every action since bringing Sol home has led to his untimely demise, I’m certain! Whoosh, off we were to the vet to get the horrible news that because my air filter wasn’t strong enough or my house was too drafty or my cage was made out of kill-a-birdium, poor Sol was on his way out.

Luckily I have a pretty darn good vet, who rightly diagnosed Sol with a bit of weaning regression. He gave me some hand-feeding formula (at no charge) and some direction on how to ensure Sol got the food he needed. The vet suggested a week of hand feeding, but Sol stopped showing interest in the formula after only 2 (very messy!) days. Alright, hurdle cleared. Sol should now be the perfect example of a well-fed, happy Sun Conure. Job well done!...

Onto day 3. Then the biting started. Sol seemed to have enough food and treats available, and several water sources, but every time he came out of his cage (which he asked for very loudly), he would only pick at the food and instead focus on ears, jewelry, and moles. Only one of those is easily removable…

After my long search, I felt like I had picked the wrong bird. I tend to have vivid dreams in general, and I definitely had several dreams about setting Sol loose, suffocating Sol, staging a Sol murder-suicide… I’m not saying all of that is healthy, but rest assured I would NEVER actually do any of that; but I’m sure there’s a sleep deprived parent out there who’s had a strange baby dream that can relate.

Somewhere along the way I forced myself to have the mental switch that just because day 1 Sol was perfect and day 3 Sol was my worst nightmare doesn’t mean day 7, day 21, day 375, day 5,254 can’t be great days with Sol. No child is going to be perfect, and they have the advent of speaking the same language as the parent. To expect perfection of Sol was myopic to say the least.

What I will say is this, for any future Sun Conure parents in waiting. In my limited experience, as a pessimist, everything they say is true. Sun Conures are LOUD. Like, very very very loud. They are also very active, and need a lot of interaction. They are not a caged bird. You don’t necessarily have to hammer out 3 solid hours of activity every day or else, but if you’re going to be gone a few days at a time, you do need a bird-sitter. I, personally, find this endearing. Show me a dog that is content to be left alone for days on end, I’ll show you a plot of land in which to bury him.

As for my own experience, I’m probably lucky once again, though I did have some say in my new baby. Sol sleeps through the night without a peep, only screams when he knows I’m awake (usually getting the kid off to school), and quiets down if I go back to sleep, and screams when I come home, even if he’s already out of the cage, eating his favorite blueberry, perched on Mom’s shoulder. I, again, find that endearing. If Sol screamed through the night, or while on my shoulder in ear-drum distance, I might be more at issue. The noises he does make when contented and not looking for his flock, however, are absolutely wonderful. The chirps and grunts are very comforting.

Does that mean every contented Sun Conure will make pleasant chirps? Or that every Sun Conure will sleep through the night? Of course not, and you should plan for the worst. If you end up with a bratty bird, who doesn’t like to go to bed, will you be able to handle it? To be honest, I might not. I’d have to cross that bridge when I came to it. But just make sure you know that bridge is one possible path in your companion journey. If you’re not sure, don’t assume the best. Assume the worst.

That’s when you get to be pleasantly surprised at the oddest moments. At the height of Sol nipping at my ears, darting from my hand, and generally refusing all training, he decided now was a good time for a nap on my finger. I stayed like this motionless for over an hour, and it was awesome. It wasn’t a moment I had crafted, it might never happen again, but for that one hour, Sol and I were perfectly content with one another, and that’s not nothing.

Sleeping.jpg

You have to decide for yourself if that is worth the sacrifice. Then sometimes you wake up and see a bird only a mother could love...

Only a mother.jpg
 

Attachments

  • 20160720_125304.jpg
    20160720_125304.jpg
    90.5 KB · Views: 198

Terry57

Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Nov 6, 2013
47,514
Media
47
Albums
13
38,714
Spruce Grove, Alberta, Canada
Parrots
Hawkhead(Darwin),YCA(Dexter),VE (Ekko),OWA(Slater),BHP(Talli),DYH(Calypso),RLA(Kimera),Alex(Xander)CBC(Phoe),IRN (Kodee,Luna,Stevie),WCP (Pisces),CAG(Justice)GCC (Jax), GSC2(Charley)
I am so thrilled you posted this...so many people post when they first get their baby, but then never mention when real life sets in, and everything isn't rosy all the time.
Wondering if you are doing something wrong, can this be fixed, can it be tolerated until it is fixed...
And then they fall asleep on you, and you sit, cramping like crazy, not wanting to wake them because the moment is just too incredibly special.
Sounds like Sol was ready to get the honeymoon over and get busy with the rest of your lives together.
Sol looks adorable after a bath, too, and that helps:)
 
OP
W

wildside50

New member
Jul 5, 2016
15
0
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #3
Thanks for your kind words. I hope you meant them. One more thanks in your sea of 32,000 might not seem like much, but I do thank you for your time in reading my post.
 

Terry57

Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Nov 6, 2013
47,514
Media
47
Albums
13
38,714
Spruce Grove, Alberta, Canada
Parrots
Hawkhead(Darwin),YCA(Dexter),VE (Ekko),OWA(Slater),BHP(Talli),DYH(Calypso),RLA(Kimera),Alex(Xander)CBC(Phoe),IRN (Kodee,Luna,Stevie),WCP (Pisces),CAG(Justice)GCC (Jax), GSC2(Charley)
I absolutely meant it! And thanks are always appreciated:)
 
OP
W

wildside50

New member
Jul 5, 2016
15
0
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #5
I absolutely meant it! And thanks are always appreciated:)

You know what the weirdest thing I've found? Sol has made me want another bird something fierce; even more than my daughter had me wanting another baby. I probably need a shrink more than I need a vet! :04:
 

BeatriceC

New member
Feb 9, 2016
1,351
91
San Diego, CA
Parrots
Goofy (YNA), Oscar (Goffin 'too). Foster bird Betty (RLA). RIP Cookie, 1991-2016 ('tiel), Leo (Sengal), Charlotte (scarlet macaw). Grand-birds: Liam (budgie), Donovan (lovebird), RIP Angelo (budgie)
I have to admit that I was one of those that posted a lot in the early days of welcoming new bird and then going quiet. I continued to come here to read, but didn't post a lot. Things were actually going great, so I just sort of stopped. My Senegal, while having a lot of the "negative" traits his species is known for turned out to be pretty chill, so his issues are easily managed. It does help that I have live-in back up in the form of a man who's owned birds of various species for nearly 40 years (my other half is allergic to anything with fur, so he's had birds almost his entire adult life). I only returned when I was considering, and then took in, a special needs rescue.

All that to say this: it's good that you came back to tell about the rough spots. Caring for birds is sometimes difficult and frequently frustrating. oeiple considering birds for the first time deserve to know what they're getting into. For me the rewards far outweigh the trials, but not everybody will think that way. I'd rather people figure that out before they take an animal into their homes than after, when they already have this beautiful animal completely dependent on them for all their needs.
 

CherylCali

Active member
Jun 22, 2016
458
120
Victoria, Texas
Parrots
Early Bird Green Cheek Conure
Hatch Date 3-2016
2269624145b8b004d9f6f7b89b810ede.jpg
e3bcd2620006b710ce55e69a3e518a57.jpg

I had a Mitred Conure named BingBing. He was my sweet sweet friend, true companion. Funny, adorable, cuddly, demanding, nippy, tantrumy. He hated anyone that would interfere with our relationship. One of those people was my best friend. Always swooping him, screaming at him. Needless to say, my best friend didn't think birds were very nifty.

Bing Bing was murdered by dogs, and it's been many years, it still hurts. And my best friend is now my husband. This year for my birthday he suprised me by saying he wanted to get me a parrot. I cried. I can't even express the joy. Her name is Early Bird, for the early birthday gift.

I thought a GCC would be a good fit for our family. We made a good trip to a reputable seller of a baby GCC that had been weaned for 10 days. The seller did a nail trim and right wing clip before leaving. I thought they broke her. She was terrified of me. She would sit on my hand too afraid to move, and hide at every oppurtunity. It was actually worsening daily.

I put her sleep cage right next to my head so she could see me sleep, and hopefully feel less threatened. I stopped even attempting to handle her. I began keeping my head and eyes cast down if I was near her cage, so she would be less fearful of me as a predator.

I began to doubt that she was a baby bird, lol. Perhaps a very abused rescue(ridiculous)

Finally and utterly broken hearted I laid down next to her cage and cried my eyes out, and she curiously observed me. Without looking at her I just explained to her how much she meant to me and told her about BingBing, and how I wanted to be her friend for life and share food, and showers and life. I decided that even if it didn't I would treat her the best that I could and love her by giving her a great home. I realized there was zero guarantee that we would be friends, yet I still was blessed to share my home with a parrot.

The next day she came out of her fear and distrust fully and on her own terms. In a very short time she has moved into every area of our life. She's a complete and utter joy, bratty, demanding, cuddly, adorable. A companion parrot ♡♡

In the end, Bing Bing adored me from first sight. I thought I would have that experience again. But I've had to earn the trust affection of Early, it makes me appreciate it so much more.

CherylCali
 

plumsmum2005

New member
Nov 18, 2015
5,330
94
England, UK
Parrots
Lou, Ruby, and Sonu.
Fly free Plum, my gorgeous boy.
@ CherylCali Ah thank you for sharing your story and so pleased that you and Early have connected. Continue to enjoy your little friend and I'll go wipe my eyes now.
 

GaleriaGila

Well-known member
Parrot of the Month 🏆
May 14, 2016
15,045
8,742
Cleveland area
Parrots
The Rickeybird, 38-year-old Patagonian Conure
Great reading, everybody!

Yeah it isn't like the movie "Paulie", is it????????????

The Rickeybird and I have been room-mates for over 30 years, and I can truly say he has provided me with some amazing peaks, and some heart-breaking valleys. I'll not think of the latter (!) but as for the former... he's the reason I'm here, and the reason I just read this wonderful thread!
 

snowflake311

New member
Jun 7, 2016
500
8
Tahoe
Parrots
Sprinkels, Black capped Conure/
Olaf, male, Budgie/
Sweetpea, female, Budgie/
RIP Kiwi, female, Senegal
I have a 7 year old daughter. I am in the same boat as you when it comes to having another. After talking and me getting emotional and doing some crying we agree our daughter is perfect and we are not going to try for another. It's a hard decision to have an only child. With so many people telling you that you have to have 2 kids. So much pressure. But people need to but out and you do what's right for your family.

So yeah we got a black capped conure. We also have 2 dogs. I wanted a 3rd dog because we had 3 dogs for years and lost our 3rd a year ago. We decided a bird would be a better choice than a 3rd dog. I grew up with birds around me so I missed my feathered friends too. After bringing my baby bird home I too went threw that "oh not he is not the right bird" our sprinkles is a nipper but we are working on it and he is already getting better. I knew he was a nipper when I picked him.

It's not all magic and just wait till your baby bird is a teenager at 1 or 2 years old. Birds and other pets are family I love that you treat your bird as your new baby. Hope you enjoy many exciting years with your feathered baby.
 
Last edited:

Tsali

New member
Jul 22, 2016
313
10
Parrots
Tsali - African Grey- I am a one parrot parent. It's a full time job keeping Tsali healthy and happy.
Fantastic post/thread. Thank you so very much!
 

IndySE

Active member
May 5, 2016
419
36
Southern California
Parrots
Kermit, ♀ GCC (Green Demon)
I brought home Kermit nearly the same time it seems you brought Sol home.

My experience was a little different, but certainly not rosy either. I didn't have a honeymoon phase. I actually felt like I was messing everything up somehow and was convinced I'd sentenced Kermit to a terrible life. Was I not properly sanitizing his enclosure? Was he not eating enough? Am I not giving him a proper diet? Am I introducing bad habits that will (literally) bite me in the butt down the road? Am I not teaching him to be independent and self-sufficient? The first week I had a lot of anxiety about everything I did to the point where I didn't want to leave my room he was in whatsoever.

Kermit himself is the sweetest baby you could ask for. When he went to the vet's yesterday for a checkup, he was happily fluffed up and was still interested in hanging out with the vet AFTER she'd taken his blood and given him a nail trim. He has sassy moments but has not drawn blood. I've even had some success in potty-training him and teaching him not to bite ears ('Ow!' means you're hurting me, and teaching him when his preening is too much. 'No!' means I know you did that intentionally stop it XD). I honestly am waiting for the other shoe to drop and am rather convinced once he hits 'bird puberty' he will probably turn into a big mean jerk XP Which is okay since he's given so many sweet bird moments.

I still have a lot of anxiety over him and am very worried when I go back to school and must spend less time with him :( I knew I wanted a bird in my life and I knew I wanted Kermit the moment I saw him, but even so I was not expecting to have this much anxiety from the moment I walked in to take him home. I just wanted to share this perspective to anyone considering a bird who is looking at this thread, because it's one thing you might not consider ! I've had it with every dog that came into my life so I thought I was prepared, but Kermit was at least 5 times

I've included a picture of the stinker below --

13782127_542046682662895_6744222251479916599_n.jpg
worse x(
 

GaleriaGila

Well-known member
Parrot of the Month 🏆
May 14, 2016
15,045
8,742
Cleveland area
Parrots
The Rickeybird, 38-year-old Patagonian Conure
The stinker, indeed...
I got the Rickeybird when I was in college (32 years ago). There were some rough times as I progressed through my career. I'm not working now, and so we are back together for most of the day. We're very happy. Love finds a way.
 
OP
W

wildside50

New member
Jul 5, 2016
15
0
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #14
I brought home Kermit nearly the same time it seems you brought Sol home.

My experience was a little different, but certainly not rosy either. I didn't have a honeymoon phase. I actually felt like I was messing everything up somehow and was convinced I'd sentenced Kermit to a terrible life. Was I not properly sanitizing his enclosure? Was he not eating enough? Am I not giving him a proper diet? Am I introducing bad habits that will (literally) bite me in the butt down the road? Am I not teaching him to be independent and self-sufficient? The first week I had a lot of anxiety about everything I did to the point where I didn't want to leave my room he was in whatsoever.

Kermit himself is the sweetest baby you could ask for. When he went to the vet's yesterday for a checkup, he was happily fluffed up and was still interested in hanging out with the vet AFTER she'd taken his blood and given him a nail trim. He has sassy moments but has not drawn blood. I've even had some success in potty-training him and teaching him not to bite ears ('Ow!' means you're hurting me, and teaching him when his preening is too much. 'No!' means I know you did that intentionally stop it XD). I honestly am waiting for the other shoe to drop and am rather convinced once he hits 'bird puberty' he will probably turn into a big mean jerk XP Which is okay since he's given so many sweet bird moments.

I still have a lot of anxiety over him and am very worried when I go back to school and must spend less time with him :( I knew I wanted a bird in my life and I knew I wanted Kermit the moment I saw him, but even so I was not expecting to have this much anxiety from the moment I walked in to take him home. I just wanted to share this perspective to anyone considering a bird who is looking at this thread, because it's one thing you might not consider ! I've had it with every dog that came into my life so I thought I was prepared, but Kermit was at least 5 times

I've included a picture of the stinker below --

13782127_542046682662895_6744222251479916599_n.jpg
worse x(

I had a Budgie named Kermit once. Jim Henson is my personal hero. I tried to give my daughter the middle name of Kermit, but my wife put the kaibosh on that in the hospital. Should have given her more sedatives I think...

Is Kermit a Green Cheek Conure, or Black Capped Conure (or am I wrong entirely)?
 

IndySE

Active member
May 5, 2016
419
36
Southern California
Parrots
Kermit, ♀ GCC (Green Demon)
D'aw I had so many precious budgies <3 Such sweet birds. Kermit was named by the petstore actually, for the cute frog-like chirps he likes to make. It seemed too perfect to change. LOL a shame on the middle name, but I'm sure she has a lovely one anyways XP

Kermit is a green-cheek conure, you are correct :p I suspect he also has a slight pied mutation for the yellow feathers you can see there on his back.
 
Last edited:

Most Reactions

Latest posts

Top