Are we doing something wrong here, or ... (tnx!)

Hello all,

As some of you know, Abby is with us for about 2 weeks now.

We are giving her a lot of our time, she is almost never alone etc.

She has no issues coming out of the cage, flying etc.

Most of the time, she is flying to me, as soon as she sees me, even if she is with my wife.

She also likes to spend a lot of time on our shoulders, etc.

We are trying to teach her to do step ups without biting.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Sometimes as soon as we put the finger close to her, she bites. (Not always, but, there are times when she bites very hard).

What i notice is that when she is on my shoulder, if i don't pet her, she starts biting my neck little bit, pushing me etc.
While i am petting her, she is fine, but, as soon as i try to do step up, she either bites or go to another shoulder.

I am doing a lot of training (step up) with food.
She loves Almonds. (I don't give her Almonds regularly, only while training) so, its a 'special treat for her' (at least i think so lol).
Abby has no problem doing step up while i am giving her almonds on every step up she does, but, if there is no almonds, my fingers are target


Is this "normal" process, or, i am doing something wrong?

After doing a lot of reading, a lot of people recommend a stick, etc, for step ups, but, i am just trying fingers, so, she can see my fingers are not enemy.

Please advise.

Thanks for your time and reading!

Biting the neck and being pushy is something you don't want her to continue. I consider shoulder time a privilege and remove them if they get nippy or disrespectful.

Where are you petting her when she's on your shoulder? Some kinds of touching they interpret as sexy behavior and tend to get bitey and bossy because of it.

I think stick training is useful, but also continue to train using your fingers. Having them be comfortable stepping up onto a stick, or rope perch, or towel will save your fingers if you have to pick them up when they are being aggressive. Great also in an emergency or if someone is birdsitting and is afraid to handle them.

Since Abby wants your attention/you are the favorite, try just using praise or time with you as a reward for good behaviors. Treats are good incentive, but if she is being bratty when there isn't a treat, perhaps trying something else for a little while would be beneficial. You want her to be happy about stepping up in and of itself. So when practicing, skew it where stepping up gives her something she likes (coming to you from somewhere boring) rather than taking away something she likes (stepping up off your shoulder).

I've had good luck with training my conure without food incentives. Since I am his favorite, I make being close to me the reward, or lots of vocal praise. Non-favorite people get to use the food.

Thank you very much for responding and most importantly providing useful information.
It is very much appreciated.

To be honest with you, when she is on the shoulders, and when she starts biting and nippy, both my wife and me feel a bit scared (as she knows to bite pretty hard lol) to put fingers close to her to do step up.

Lots of times she refuses to step up, and just like to 'sit' on shoulders.

As for petting her while she is on our shoulders, it is usually top of the head or under the beak.

Looks like we will have to start doing it with the stick / rope perch.
I just don't know, and have no idea how to use stick / rope perch while he is on the shoulders / or behind the head (sometimes on my back).

... not always is like this, sometimes she doesn't even bite for hours (or lets say a day) but, yesterday was special day, for some reason, she was biting both of my wife and me.

We were moving last 3 days, she was around us non stop, but, we were not holding her as much as we would if we were not moving to new place.
Not sure if she feel offended because of that, or "angry" at us ... no idea.

Once again, thank you for your time.

If you have anything else to add, to this post, please do, as clearly you have a lot of useful information, and you know what you are talking about

Thanks again.

I can understand being afraid a bite will come, I still get this way (often!) Abby does sense this and will use it to her advantage. You really can't fake emotions with a parrot.

I personally use a towel or pair of jeans (whatever is closest) to remove Beau if he goes into aggre-mode. It takes the fear away because my hand is protected. I kind of shovel or wipe him onto it, if that makes sense. Usually he just jumps on the towel and madly attacks it, so I don't have to shovel too hard. This works well for when they are on your body. I try to remove immediately when the bad behavior starts, and then place him somewhere neutral or back in his cage if he is being particularly out of sorts.

They do have moods, and I can't say I have figured out what makes my little guy have a bitey day. But with time, you will see what times of day, or what body language etc tends to be safer for shoulder time. For example, I can trust Beau in the morning and evening to sit nicely on my shoulder. However, I know he can't be there if I am fixing any sort of food or working with my hands because he will bite.

I let where the bird is dictate whether or not stepping up is optional. They are in their cage and don't want to step up, fine that is their area and choice. On my body, stepping up is mandatory. If refused, I remove them.

You sound like you and your wife are doing a good job with Abby.

I just wanted to say that's some great advice from Piasa. I was going to add to it, but I can't really think of anything else. I will say one thing, just try and remember that parrots are a long lived species, and because of that factor they tend to have longer adjustment times than most "pet" species. 2 weeks in bird time, is about as much as 2 weeks in human time, really not much. She is still going through a good bit of adjustment still. But yall sound like you are doing really great with everything so far, just keep it up!

thank you both.

we will change our strategy a bit

My lil Booger is fast too. He will run from one shoulder to the next in a flash protesting being moved. Instead of offering a finger I do a sweep with my whole hand. He does not get much of a chance to give his lil protest bite and if he does its minimal. He was a rescue bird about a year old when I got him and didn't take long to figure out why the prior owners wanted to throw him out the window. When he wanted petted he would fly to a shoulder and promptly chomp an ear.. very hard. Lucky for me he is pretty smart. I just took got restrained him in my hand for a moment couple times and shook my finger at him telling him NO.. and put him back on my shoulder. Think it took a total of 2 times and the ear chomping ended. The other plus is he learned what a finger wag and NO meant.. and if hes out and about.. say for instance goes to chew a light cord or something I can just say Booger!. wag finger and say NO.... and he stops. he will fuss back at me like a sassy youngin but he stops. Remarkable how smart these lil critters are. I still get protest squawks when I gotta move him and he does not wanna go but no "bites".. he might hold my hand with his beak when I make him climb on but its not a bite.

Piasa said:

Biting the neck and being pushy is something you don't want her to continue. I consider shoulder time a privilege and remove them if they get nippy or disrespectful.

Where are you petting her when she's on your shoulder? Some kinds of touching they interpret as sexy behavior and tend to get bitey and bossy because of it.

I think stick training is useful, but also continue to train using your fingers. Having them be comfortable stepping up onto a stick, or rope perch, or towel will save your fingers if you have to pick them up when they are being aggressive. Great also in an emergency or if someone is birdsitting and is afraid to handle them.

Since Abby wants your attention/you are the favorite, try just using praise or time with you as a reward for good behaviors. Treats are good incentive, but if she is being bratty when there isn't a treat, perhaps trying something else for a little while would be beneficial. You want her to be happy about stepping up in and of itself. So when practicing, skew it where stepping up gives her something she likes (coming to you from somewhere boring) rather than taking away something she likes (stepping up off your shoulder).

I've had good luck with training my conure without food incentives. Since I am his favorite, I make being close to me the reward, or lots of vocal praise. Non-favorite people get to use the food.

Click to expand...

Wonderful advice, and I also can't think of a thing to add to it.
I just wanted to say that I think you are doing a wonderful job and I have no doubt you will have this worked out in no time.

Notdumasilook said:

My lil Booger is fast too. He will run from one shoulder to the next in a flash protesting being moved. Instead of offering a finger I do a sweep with my whole hand. He does not get much of a chance to give his lil protest bite and if he does its minimal. He was a rescue bird about a year old when I got him and didn't take long to figure out why the prior owners wanted to throw him out the window. When he wanted petted he would fly to a shoulder and promptly chomp an ear.. very hard. Lucky for me he is pretty smart. I just took got restrained him in my hand for a moment couple times and shook my finger at him telling him NO.. and put him back on my shoulder. Think it took a total of 2 times and the ear chomping ended. The other plus is he learned what a finger wag and NO meant.. and if hes out and about.. say for instance goes to chew a light cord or something I can just say Booger!. wag finger and say NO.... and he stops. he will fuss back at me like a sassy youngin but he stops. Remarkable how smart these lil critters are. I still get protest squawks when I gotta move him and he does not wanna go but no "bites".. he might hold my hand with his beak when I make him climb on but its not a bite.

Click to expand...

Thank you for responding.
Yep, ear thing happens to me as well, but, not to my wife.

Hopefully it will get better and i get to keep my fingers

Terry57 said:

Piasa said:

Biting the neck and being pushy is something you don't want her to continue. I consider shoulder time a privilege and remove them if they get nippy or disrespectful.

Where are you petting her when she's on your shoulder? Some kinds of touching they interpret as sexy behavior and tend to get bitey and bossy because of it.

I think stick training is useful, but also continue to train using your fingers. Having them be comfortable stepping up onto a stick, or rope perch, or towel will save your fingers if you have to pick them up when they are being aggressive. Great also in an emergency or if someone is birdsitting and is afraid to handle them.

Since Abby wants your attention/you are the favorite, try just using praise or time with you as a reward for good behaviors. Treats are good incentive, but if she is being bratty when there isn't a treat, perhaps trying something else for a little while would be beneficial. You want her to be happy about stepping up in and of itself. So when practicing, skew it where stepping up gives her something she likes (coming to you from somewhere boring) rather than taking away something she likes (stepping up off your shoulder).

I've had good luck with training my conure without food incentives. Since I am his favorite, I make being close to me the reward, or lots of vocal praise. Non-favorite people get to use the food.

Click to expand...

Wonderful advice, and I also can't think of a thing to add to it.
I just wanted to say that I think you are doing a wonderful job and I have no doubt you will have this worked out in no time.

Click to expand...

Thank you!!! :22:

Sounds like my baby black capped. Nice to know I am not the only one get neck pinches. Sprinkles is only 5 months old.

My bird does not bite he Pinches/nips. He broke skin only a few times in the 2 first week. He was new and not sure of us. They man handled him at the store. I got him out of the store before any real damage was done to him. I have had my little guy 2 months now. He is much better. He just playfully pinches my finger when he is rolling around in my hand. My hand is like his jungle gym.

Your bird is still very new. The nips might be hard now because she is not sure of you and does not trust you. They also need to learn what is too hard. With some work they do get better. It just takes time and training. I teach my bird "No bites" and "Hey" means the bite is too hard. He is getting it. When he bites too hard he loses my attention something he wants all the time. He is very needy. This seems to be working.

Sprinkles is not allowed on shoulder at this time. He nips my neck just like yours if I am not petting him. If he is excited he nips and he is always excited. If he is sleepy I can have him on my shoulder. SO I don't really let him on shoulders. If he is on the shoulder it is short lived. I am sure with time he will be ok on the shoulder. Hair sets him OFF. I find if I put my hair up in a pony tail he will not pinch my neck as much.

Sprinkles is starting his first molt and sexual maturity. He humped my head. So no more going on heads. I think a lot of his neck nips to me are due to sexual maturity. He is going threw a lot and is still adjusting to life with his new family. He loves us all and is a sweet bird. He always wants to be with us. He likes to play and when conures play they are like puppies and like to nip. They are just learning.

You are never going to stop all the nips so just get use to it. These are Pyrrhura after all. The nips should be just pinches or nibbles in time.

To teach step up I used treats at first too. LOTS of them. I noticed if I did not give the treat fast enough I got a nip. So once he learned what step up means. NO more treats just love. He is still stubborn as hell about stepping up when he is on the shoulder. Another reason he was Cut off from the shoulder. One step at a time literally. haha. He knows what it means to set up. He says "step up" when he wants to go on the finger. He gets it but he wants it on his time.

Just keep working on it and don't give up. Don't push. Yes they nip for so many reasons like being cranky, sleepy, horny, Hungary, If they have to poop, and sometimes they just Want something. Figure out the triggers and work with it. My little guy has come a long way. I can put him on strangers now and he will not nip just sits and waits for me to pick him up again. Unless the person has fancy nails he likes to bite fancy painted nails.

Sprinkles is the best little bird. We all love him even my husband who is not at all a bird person likes Sprinkles. We still have a few things to work on. I have only had him 2 months so we are doing pretty good so far.

Thanks for your post as well. Appreciated.

Both my wife and me understand that it takes time, and we have no problem with that.

I would say that she is doing better, even better then since i started this thread.

Good thing is that .. both my wife and me love Abby ( kids are young 4yrs and 1yr, so they are not into birds that much ) ... and we are spending a lot of time with her.

I work from home, my wife doesn't work, so, we have plenty of time to give her and work with her.

I hope for the best

Thanks again.

She started biting a bit more since yesterday.

When the cage is open (which is most of the time), she fly to either me or my wife.

It doesn't take long for her to start biting.

As recommended, we are taking her back to the cage as soon as she starts biting.
(Sometimes it very hard to 'remove' her from the shoulders).

Weird, not sure what is causing that now, as i was 'expecting' it to be a little less as the times goes.

Thats normal. I have days with Sprinkles when I think "OMG he is the best birds ever wow." Then the next day it is "OH no when will he ever grow up" haha.

BUT I am telling you these little conures get overly excited when in hair. I keep mine in a pony tail and I get less neck bites.

I second the hair thing. Early morning and night time when Beau is calm, there's no problem. But during the day when he is energetic, Beau will still neck bite if I have my hair up, but when I have my hair down and he gets on my shoulder, he gets aggressive. I think it's a defend the nest thing.

On the flip side, I found the safest way for me to snuggle him is to let him sit on my leg and lay my arm beside him. He LOVES to lean against my arm or hand, puff up on one leg and snooze. He'll also sit on my pinkie (one-footed) and lean against the palm of my hand. Rarely, if ever, bites this way.

Thank you! Today is a lot better, hopefully it stays like that.

Slowly, i am starting to feel sorry for my fingers. )

We are giving her a lot of our time, she is almost never alone etc.
As great as this may seem, the worst thing you can do is teach a bird to be dependent on human interaction. I understand wanting to have the bird be with you at all times, but a bird also needs to learn how to play independently. If a bird becomes too dependent on human interaction, this could lead to aggressive behaviors, screaming, plucking, mutilating, not knowing how to play with toys, etc.

If you can, encourage her to play with toys and do so independently! You can start out with having her on a gym *right* next to you and *highly* reward any kind of independent play, even if it's just touching a toy and not actually playing with it!



Most of the time, she is flying to me, as soon as she sees me, even if she is with my wife.
You might want to set up some "flight stations" for her, and teach her to fly to these stations on cue.


We are trying to teach her to do step ups without biting.
Don't get bit! Yes, I know, easier said than done! If you can though, if you see she's about to bite, remove your flesh. Whether or not you have a reward, it's ok. You can try asking again for a step up, but if she goes to bite, then turn your back on her. You can wait a few seconds and try again, or walk away and try again in a few minutes.

Since the only bite that can't be rewarded is the bite that never occurs, if you can learn to not get bitten and working around her behavior, you can teach her not to bite. It'll take some time, but it is easier if you learn the warning signs of "I'm going to bite you!"


Sometimes as soon as we put the finger close to her, she bites. (Not always, but, there are times when she bites very hard).
Most obvious thing is... don't put your finger close to her if she's going to bite. This basically goes back to learning her behaviors, trying to avoid the bites, then redirecting the behavior towards something positive. What can we do instead of biting?

Maybe she might enjoy learning some new behaviors? Like turn around? Fetch? Stationing? Target training?


What i notice is that when she is on my shoulder, if i don't pet her, she starts biting my neck little bit, pushing me etc.
Too much shoulder time for one. Two, what is she supposed to do? Birds have learned to communicate a lot using their beaks, and a bored bird could result in a biting bird. Maybe it may help if she had some toys she could play with? Or a birdy safe necklace to destroy?

Basically, give her something to do while she's out with you.


While i am petting her, she is fine, but, as soon as i try to do step up, she either bites or go to another shoulder.
Instead of having her step up off your shoulder, why not teach her to step up onto her cage from your shoulder? Or another object? Or maybe walk down your arm and to your hand?

There are easier ways of getting a bird off of your shoulder than simply forcing them off! Just takes figuring out how to do it!



Abby has no problem doing step up while i am giving her almonds on every step up she does, but, if there is no almonds, my fingers are target
I'd say that's ok for now since you haven't had her for long! Keep using a treat (as recommended, try to find some other rewards, too! millet is usually a favorite of many birds, and there's other healthy nuts and dried fruits you can try, too!) and over time you can try phasing out the treat. Now, it doesn't hurt to reward the desired behavior every now and then, just don't phase it out completely!


After doing a lot of reading, a lot of people recommend a stick, etc, for step ups, but, i am just trying fingers, so, she can see my fingers are not enemy.
A target stick or object might be even easier. You teach the bird to target towards the object for a reward, and thus teach that many things are not a threat. Target training can also be used to teach birds to play with toys. Step up is, after all, a form of target training!

Wow! Big big thanks for this.

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