Considering expanding the family, need advice

So, I've stated many times before how I'm really not a 'one bird' person and as hard as I've tried to adjust to that, it's just not happening. I absolutely LOVE Skittles and this isn't about him at all, it's about who I am. I'm just not adjusting to being a 'one-bird' person. I'd like to explain where I"m at now and the advice I am seeking.

I got my first bird for my 11th birthday, a budgie. Aside from the first year of having just him, I've always owned at LEAST two birds until Peaches passed last December. I'm almost 40 now, and changing to one bird after 29 years of having at least 2 is not easy.

At one point, I had nine and I don't want that many again, lol. Ideally, I'd like three, as that is where I'm most comfortable at this point- but for now, I'm going with possibly adding just one.

The birds I am considering adding are either a pineapple green cheek or a white bellied caique. I've been thinking about this for weeks now (the former anyways) and its not something I intend on acting on anytime real soon.

I'm not concerned about the added responsibility on my part. It's more about Skittles. While my need for another bird is not because of him- my getting another one may very well affect him more than me and I have no idea how. Skittles is 6yrs 5mo old. He did NOT get along with Peaches. Not because of Peaches, as she was unphased and super passive- but rather he did NOT like it if I got near her or even talked to her. His head feathers would rise up and he'd screech. I know he has an extremely difficult time sharing me with anyone or anything. He's VERY attached to me and for my part, I have not done anything to discourage the over-attachment. Mostly because I needed it, especially after losing Peaches. I had her for nearly 20yrs and I honestly don't know how I'd have gotten through it without him.

While I have not always made the best decisions with past birds, I have never rehomed a bird because of anything I did or it did that I didn't like- it was always in the birds best interest. That being said, if getting a new bird doesn't work out, rehoming Skittles is NOT going to happen. Period. But I also don't think I could rehome a new bird if it didn't work out and part of me thinks I might get resentful of Skitty for that reason.

I want to do the right thing the right way. But I've no idea where to go from here. Should I force myself to adjust to one bird and find other constructive ways to concentrate that energy? Or should I pursue another bird? If I get a green cheek, and it doesn't work out- I think my best friend/neighbor would take him/her which would be a lot easier- but not so sure with a caique. That same friend is also encouraging me to get another bird for the same reasons I am but also she knows how I care for my birds and is encouraging me more to consider a rescue bird for that reason. Most of my prior birds were that, and it was very overwhelming. If I didn't have Skittles, it'd be a no brainer- rescue all the way. But given my current living situation, I'm not sure that's a good idea- or worth the gamble. I don't think I could deal with re-homing a rehomed bird.

I partly think Skittles wouldn't be so aggressive to a slightly bigger bird (caique) vs a slightly smaller bird (green cheek).

For my part, I have to make room for new birds which will include getting rid of some furniture, which I did when I got Skittles, I got rid of my couch.

So my question is this- how should I approach this? Is there any ways that I can 'test' the waters without taking the plunge first? I am pretty much lost as to where to go from here and could really use some thoughts and advice from others, particularly ones who've been in my kind of situation.

Thanks!

Consider adoption thru a rescue... a good one that focuses on education and ensuring a solid connection. I'm an Adoption Coordinator for a parrot rescue and anyone using the word overwhelmed about an adopted bird did not adopt the right bird. But I'm guessing your word rescue means birds from random sources such as craigslist.

If you have a rescue within a couple hours drive, invest the time and volunteer a few times, get to know the birds and the right bird will pick you. We have 'rescue' or shelter birds in our home ranging from special needs budgie to bare eye cockatoos to yellow nape amazon to my beloved blue and gold.... no one and nothing is overwhelming.... but all birds picked someone in the house, none were blindly brought home.

No words can define the connection with an adult bird that picks you as their person. But have lots of pics and videos I could bore you with :59:

There really is no way to know whether two birds might get along. All you can do is decide to go with it, or decide to stay with one. What you can do, however, is work out in your mind how you would deal with each possibility. If they both get along, that's the easy part, eh?

But if one can't stand the other? Well, that's where it gets a bit more dicey. Dicey, but not insurmountable. First off, I'd say make sure you have two play stands. One for each bird. and then train them to interact with you in shifts. This is what I've established in my household. First when I had Bixby and Maya came into our lives, and then later after Bixby passed and Jolly joined our family. Establishing a turn-based system consistently enough that they get it cuts down on the jealousy factor, though it doesn't necessarily eliminate it. It may take some time, and quite a bit of work, to get things running smoothly.

Aggression from one toward the other should result in an immediate timeout. Eventually both will come to respect the rules. Of course, if this level of animosity exists, you can never leave them out and alone together. You should always be there. I'm fortunate in that this has not been the case with my flock. But I was definitely prepared for the possibility.

You should be too.

If setting those kinds of parameters seems like something you'd rather not be doing, then yes, you'd be better off adjusting to the idea of being a one-bird guy. Because you don't want to go into the situation with the mindset that someone might have to be rehomed. Know what I mean?

Just plan for the worst and hope for the best, and if the potential worst is outside the realm of what makes you comfortable... then it's an idea best left unexplored.

I'm torn though. Part of me thinks, well if I get a young, new bird- I may have better luck in having one that will adjust to Skittles and vice versa. If I adopt a previously abused/neglected bird- it may attack Skittles or Skittles may attack it with the other bird not defending itself. I also worry about behavioral issues. I live in a small apartment and I have to consider noise and behavioral issues. I had both of those with Skittles for the first few years, but with proper training- they aren't an issue anymore.

I am getting so sick and tired of hearing stories about abused birds being deprived of the most basic of needs and tossed out like garbage and I want to do something about it. So part of me goes one way and the other part goes the other. Hence, why I'm not taking action on it anytime soon.

The other down side is this- I live in a rural state, and while my city has 40K people in it, rescue birds are hard to come by. I'd likely have to pay someone to make the drive to bring the bird.

@Anansi Planning for the worst is something I'm an expert at! I really like your advice. I think by talking to more people about their experiences may shed more light on my thoughts and also help me prepare for my final decision.

IF I decide to go ahead with a new bird I've already made the decision that I'd have to invest in several new playstands (Skittles has two, three if you count the one on his main cage). The new bird would get its own main cage, a sleep cage and a travel cage.

The day I planned on getting Skittles, I actually went and bought his cage and toys first then came home and set it all up. Then I went to get him. That way I had plenty of time to change my mind before taking the plunge. But my mind never changed. Reason I was so cautious is because Skittles wasn't planned. He wasn't an 'impulse' buy as I took several days to think it over. It's just that I went in the pet store one day and he told me to forget about buying a new PC, I was going to buy him instead and he wouldn't have it any other way. Then he invaded my thoughts and haunted me all weekend until I decided to buy him. lol

Don't mean to sound like a smart aleck, but you've got some interesting thoughts on rescue birds.

Today a nervous foster Grey sat with my husband, my blue and gold climbed up to sit next to me and our rehomed bare eye too girl was on the sofa behind us.... all looking for a piece of matzo cracker with almond butter. While I don't encourage or allow direct interactions with various size beaks, we have 14 birds in our home and no one really pays much attention to the other. If you have separate plsyst ands and can give everyone their own space, you should be fine. Max doesn't care about the amazon, sennie, toos, conures, grey, tiels or budgies, but he was very jealous when he has been around other blue and golds, so I know I can't have another macaw that is my baby. But Ivory is my shadow and flies to me all day, Max has never once attacked her. Kinda like having kids, their space and special time with dad.....

But I'll stop babbling...

I've never had a Caique, but I've heard many times that they usually just get along with their own species, and likely will terrorize other species. You're already a conure guy, so I'd vote for the GCC if you decide that getting another bird is best.

I do what Stephen (Anansi) does with paying attention to birds in shifts. At first they didn't like it, but after doing it routinely for a little while they all got used to it. Raven and Griffin come out together, then they get put away and Robin comes out. Robin is last because he protests less, plus my favorite boy is the last bird I get to cuddle before bed time. I wish they could all be a flock together, because that would be easier, but of course yon never know, and need to plan for having to do this if you have multiple birds who don't get along. This is especially the case if you have to have all the birds in the same room. If you can have them more spread out like Jen mentions above, that is probably a factor why it works well for her.

Well my thoughts on rescue birds relate to my current situation. I know I am going to have a territory issue with Skittles and a new bird. I've accepted that. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think I am. My question is, is there a way to minimize the issue and/or take preventative actions. Skittles gets very jealous and is possessive of me because I am home 90% of the time and RARELY have company, he is not properly socialized. He's not used to being around anyone but me.

That being said, I also didn't have to tame Skittles at all when I got him, he already was and he was also potty-trained so any training I had to do was merely behavioral and the issues I had with his behavior were because of my reactions (lack of boundaries) not his.

He did attack Peaches, even though they were in separate rooms. Having the two of them out at the same time was not possible.

What I want to know is what/if anything I can do to prepare Skittles for an addition in order to reduce the level of behavioral issues I expect to have.

If Skittles were less attached to me, I wouldn't be so torn. But what I'm asking is the equivalent of asking a four year old child to share their blanky with another baby that they've had all to themselves since they themselves were a baby. I know it's possible, people do it all the time with additional children. I just don't have a clue where to start.

@Ravensgryf I need to hear from others what their situation is like and what they recommend (as far as bird type). I've already read that caiques can live to be 40 so I'm not sure I want a new bird that can live that long (I'd be in my 80s). So what you said is good to know. I don't want my birds to outlive me. I'd rather deal with the loss of them then they deal with the loss of me.

The last paragraph of my last post is exactly where I'm at. That's where my struggle is. A friend of mine (the one I mentioned) may be able to help me with adjustments (by keeping the new bird over there and bringing him over in shifts to allow Skittles to get used to a new bird in phases before the new bird is finally here permanently. But then I worry about the new bird getting confused about where his real home is.

Please don't get upset or angry, but having experience working with adopters.... I think your greatest challenge will be your energy and setting a tense, worrisome evironment. . Birds are amazing at picking up and reacting accordingly to energy. It's the joke at the shelter why Greys always bite me - I'm high energy, type A personality.

I wish you the best in your decision!

I agree with Jen pretty much point for point. I have four very different birds with different needs. They sing to each other from their various spots, but they don't really interact around that. We have two that have some jealousy issues. But the problem is the Goofy has issues if I try to be physically affectionate with MrC, because he's his human, the reverse with Charlotte. Charlotte also gets kind of a sad look when it's Leos's turn for attention (and I use the turn based system somebody else described, but she's still new enough that she's still adjusting).

Basically, everybody is going to have to make compromises. You're going to have to quarantine a new bird anyway, so that's a good time to set up a turn schedule. Once quarantine is over, you can gradually introduce the birds to each other. We do this by putting the cages in eyeightnof each other, but far enough away to not cause discomfort, then move the cages closer day by day until they are in the same room. It's worked for us and we've had basically no drama between the birds, and three of our four are species that can have real attitude problems.

I get the thing about tension and body energy. I have a mood disorder so I am well aware of how that can affect people and animals around me. I am also very hypersensitive. I spent an entire therapy session consoling myself for killing two nasty rats in my house with traps. I know I care too much for my own good- but this world is full of the opposite kinds of people and I NEVER want to be that way but my therapist and I are actually working on a happy medium.

So part of me is probably over-thinking this and making too much out of it. I don't know. People in my RL tell me I worry too much about Skittles that it's not healthy for me. But how do I not worry? I partly think getting a second bird might actually help me worry less about him and make my relationship with him healthier rather than us being so dependent on each other. I just don't know where to start. That being said, I've read several very good pieces of advice in the thread so far and I hope to receive even more. Perhaps open myself up to more perspective.

Jonathan, I'm excited and happy for you! It sounds like you have a good plan, there's nothing wrong with being prepared before you bring a new bird home. There's no way I can think of to prepare Skitty for the arrival of a new addition. Birds tend to live in the moment. My birds all get along well, the initial meeting and the first few weeks together can be a little tense but I've never had a beak brawl. Two adult quakers, a cockatiel, and two budgies share play stands and shoulders, even Poppy, my U2 insists on spending her days on a play stand in the room with the little guys. The quakers and the cockatiel will fly to me and sit on my shoulders with no bickering, Harry, my female Quaker is my biggest troublemaker but she's trained to return to her cage when I ask her to. They are all good about training sessions, when I'm working with one the others wait their turns.

I'm not familiar enough with Conure behavior to give you advice on what species to choose but I would think the odds of them getting along would be better with the GCC rather than a caique. There's always a chance the two birds will bond but more than likely, they will just tolerate or ignore each other.

Best of luck with the big decision, looking forward to updates.

Thanks Allee!

Well after doing some research I've decided that the pineapple green cheek is the best path for me. I do think that the caiques are adorable and I like how playful they seem to be, but like Raven said, since I am a conure guy, it may be best to stick with this species, since I know it well.

I did talk to my friend/neighbor and she did confirm that she would help me with the quarantine/transition process. So I could keep the new bird over there during quarantine and bring the new bird here in 'shifts' to allow Skittles to get used to the new bird.

So that part is out of the way. Now I have some time to plan the rest without having to worry about that part. Its not something I'm rushing into anyways. And I may learn more along the way, but for now I feel like I've made a good start.

Great . I think the GCC's are adorable little things! It sounds like you're all set and prepared. Looking forward to hearing more. How soon are you planning on the new addition to be actually coming home?

Well I have some changes I have to make- regarding making room for the cages and playstands as well as actually finding a pineapple green cheek. LOL. I'm looking into places and there is a local pet store chain that may be able to find me one when I am ready. I'm also checking out CL as that's really the only rescue option I have right now.

I want to time the new addition with Skitty's next vet appt (so likely early-mid spring) unless a different opportunity presents itself.

Green cheeks are awesome. Your sun could hurt a green cheek because it is bigger. I think the old saying is true "Birds of a feather flock together." I would get another Aratinga does not have to be another sun conure. One in the same family. Yeah your birds might not love each other. I do think if you keep it in the family you will have a better chance at them tolerating each other. Or they might fall in love and live happy with no problems. You never know.

Have you looked into the Dusky head conure. They seem like really great birds. I kind of want one.

Look at this photo I found.

I'm really set on the pineapple green cheek. I just think they are soo cute. But like you mentioned, the size of the PGC being smaller than the sun DOES concern me. There is a sun-jenday on CL that I've been thinking about, but by the time I'm ready for the addition, it's likely already going to be gone.

I will admit, I'd probably be more likely to take the plunge if I could meet the bird in person, hence why I like pet shop birds so much, I know rescue is always a better option and if there were a great need for adoptions in this area, I'd go that route, but there aren't any so far. Even with the conures, its hit or miss with the pet stores.

Its just a major gamble buying a bird from a long distance seller (the CL seller is about an hour away) since I can't get a feel for the bird or even be sure the seller is being totally honest.

https://maine.craigslist.org/pet/5694182813.html

Truthfully, though, I have not had good experiences in dealing with rescues/adoption centers. I've had GREAT luck in taking in rescues from friends who've referred people they know who are looking to re-home birds.

My only experience with a rescue animal is when I got a cat from the ASPCA and they lied to me about the health. They said it was fixed and declawed and it wasn't. It had to be both or my landlord wouldn't let me have one. I could not afford to pay for the fixing and declawing at the time and the ASPCA gave me the runaround on it and I knew if I brought it back they'd kill it, so I gave it to a friend of a friend who wanted a cat but couldn't afford the adoption fee.

Skittys_Daddy said:

I'm really set on the pineapple green cheek. I just think they are soo cute. But like you mentioned, the size of the PGC being smaller than the sun DOES concern me. There is a sun-jenday on CL that I've been thinking about, but by the time I'm ready for the addition, it's likely already going to be gone.

I will admit, I'd probably be more likely to take the plunge if I could meet the bird in person, hence why I like pet shop birds so much, I know rescue is always a better option and if there were a great need for adoptions in this area, I'd go that route, but there aren't any so far. Even with the conures, its hit or miss with the pet stores.

Its just a major gamble buying a bird from a long distance seller (the CL seller is about an hour away) since I can't get a feel for the bird or even be sure the seller is being totally honest.

https://maine.craigslist.org/pet/5694182813.html

Truthfully, though, I have not had good experiences in dealing with rescues/adoption centers. I've had GREAT luck in taking in rescues from friends who've referred people they know who are looking to re-home birds.

My only experience with a rescue animal is when I got a cat from the ASPCA and they lied to me about the health. They said it was fixed and declawed and it wasn't. It had to be both or my landlord wouldn't let me have one. I could not afford to pay for the fixing and declawing at the time and the ASPCA gave me the runaround on it and I knew if I brought it back they'd kill it, so I gave it to a friend of a friend who wanted a cat but couldn't afford the adoption fee.

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I have a lot of experience with dog rescues. They are the best but I get why they don't always work. Rescues make it too hard to adopt a bird pet stores make it too easy. We need an in between and a parrot store that is bird only I think might be the best bet.

I only rescue my dogs and feel bad about getting a baby bird. Like you said it is hard to find thr rescues and being able to meet the bird first is key.

Too bad you live cross country I found the best golden capped conure at a store near me. She is so sweet and I want her. She comes running over to me every time I go to see her. It's bad I need to stop looking at birds.

Good luck. Green cheeks are awesome.

You hit the nail on the head snowflake- "rescues make it too hard, pet stores make it too easy". Couldn't have said it better myself.

I will say this, Maine has good animal laws. Birds in pet stores are required by state law to have fresh food AND clean water at ALL times. They are also required to have proper lighting, air filtration and temperature controls. I am impressed by this. And this is just bird requirements.

I've seen numerous 'shelter animals' on display for adoption in them (cats and dogs). But one thing I do like is that the pet stores require a photo id to buy a bird (I'd assume any animal, but I've only ever bought birds). They also take your name, address and phone number as well as information on the bird.

But, if it were up to me- I'd require references, home inspection and a written test for pet sales. Nothing too difficult, but something to hopefully at least minimize the risk of them going to a bad home.