With a heavyheart I am forced to rehome my Jende Conure, Izzy

Any advice regarding a rehome?
Do Conures do ok? He is so loving and attached to us. On the flip side he is very aggressive towards others. Women and children being his least favorite.

We have had him for a litrlr under 4 years now and we got him as a baby.

I say him, only because of his temperament and perssona. He started out as Isabel but turned into izzy.

Izzy has all his birth paperwork and such and was a bit of an investmrnt.

I would almost pay someone if i know he was going go a loving home where he would get lots of attention.

How do i know that will be the case? Part if me thinks it eould be better to sell him as as i would know his new companion would live him... I'm jist not sire how to go with this.

We love him so very much, this is a very tough and emotional experience.

Thanks for letting me share.

Bob

May I ask why you feel the need to rehome Izzy?

I have no experience with conures,so I don't have an idea how they are,but there are MANY knowledgeable conure parronts here who could possibly help you find out whats up with the little guy!
PLEASE! Just give him a bit of time and wait and see what other conure parronts have to say...rehoming is soo...FINAL!


Jim

Going though a relationship breakup
Izzy was able to spend long days with my stay at home girl & I spent time with him nights & weekends.

with no other choices, he has been left behind with me. I work very long days leaving him alone. He is a loving soul & really needs more companionship.

I just don't know how he will do with the transition to a new family and I really need to know he is going to a good one...this is a really tough situation.

Think it over a bit. I know it might seem like Izzy would be better off in an easier situation, but he loves you. It might be better to get through this time as best you can. Check to see if you can find a copy of "The Second Hand Parrot" and read the section on emergency husbandry. Basically, you keep his cage as much near where you do things as you can, talk to him or hand him things through the bars as you go by if you can't take him out just then, give him whatever attention you can even if it's just a few minutes a day. He might adjust, at least for a while, and do better with less of you than none of you.

If you think he's suffering under the new administration, maybe you could find a foster? Maybe someone could keep him during the week, and he could come home with you on the weekends? Or someone to keep him for a short term, you still visit, and when things are better he could be with you again. I hope there is a good path forward for you both.

I agree with K, and in my personal opinion, I feel it's very likely that Izzy maybe be happiest just to stay at your side as much as possible.


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I am unsure reading your posts if it is Izzy suffering or you? You are going through a tough time (I am sorry) and parrots take a lot from all of us, probably energy you don't feel you have at the present time? Have you a family member who can help share Izzy for a period of time? Whether he goes live with family temporarily or they come over to help with him, give him some interaction, food etc? Like Jim says re-homing is final so please be sure.

I will reiterate what everyone else has already said, if your only concern is that Izzy will be home alone during the days now after having someone with him during the day his entire life, but other than that you'd like to keep him and can continue to dedicate evenings and weekends with him, then by all means please try the new schedule for a while and see how he does. If you hadn't yet gotten a pet bird and were wanting to know whether you should go out and buy one, this would be a different story all together. The fact that you got him as a baby and have been his family for all 4 years of his life, I have a distinct feeling that Izzy will suffer much more by being rehomed to a totally new family than he will by adjusting to being alone during the days. I speak as someone who is single, and not only works full-time and owns several birds, but also as someone who has volunteered at a bird rescue for many years and has seen what rehoming does to birds that come from loving families. It's one thing if a bird comes from an abusive or neglectful situation, then rehoming is a very good situation for the bird as their stress levels go markedly down and they actually start "living". But when a loving family has to give up a pet bird that they have owned for the bird's entire life, it's just like putting a toddler up for adoption, they can develop so many emotional and behavioral issues, which can manifest into health issues, and it is not what is best for the bird.

Look at it this way: Izzy is used to spending time with you in the evenings and on the weekends, and seeing you in the morning before you leave for work. These times he sees you and spends with you will not change, so he will still have that constant in his life, his daddy will still be with him during the same times he always has. As long as you feed him and make sure he has everything he needs each morning before you leave for work, and you make sure he has plenty of different types of toys to play with during the weekdays while you're at work, maybe leave the TV or radio on for him during the day, make sure he has foraging toys and activities to keep him busy until you get home, I'm willing to bet that he will adjust quickly and be just fine. This small adjustment is a whole lot better for his well-being than totally uprooting him and putting him in a new house with a new family, even if that new family is a great family with bird experience that can spend all day with him. Trust me, Izzy would much rather only get to spend evenings and weekends with his daddy than all day long everyday with strangers.

If this is a situation where you no longer want to be responsible for Izzy or you want to have your evenings and weekends to yourself, then that's a different story. If you really don't want to keep him anymore and that is your main reason for doing this, like you really "want" to rehome him, then by all means try to find him a loving home that will want him. In fact, if you let us know where you live we may be able to help you find Izzy an experienced, loving home. But I don't get the feeling that you want to get rid of your bird, but just in case I'm wrong I wanted to throw that in...

"Dance like nobody's watching..."

I am sorry you are facing so many life changes, Bob. With that comes the challenge to have continuity where able. You might consider letting Izzy attempt to adjust to your schedule, keeping in mind that quality of time spent is as valuable as the number of hours together.

This by "plumsmum" is particularly insightful: "I am unsure reading your posts if it is Izzy suffering or you?" With a breakup comes much reflection, and oft times we are tempted to make further changes that are less than ideal.

I agree with everyone. Don't do anything you will regret. Birds adapt. I don't understand why people think another person will take better care of a bird that is bounded to you. Break ups are one of the 2nd reasons that people give up a pet. I don't understand it. When you break up you don't give up your kids why give up your pet? 1st reason to re-home I would say is moving.

Birds live a long time. Yes right now it might seem less than great but in a few years a lot can change. If you really love this bird keep it and make it work. Get your bird a larger cage with LOTS of toys and new perches. Make it awesome and entertaining for when you are off at work.

Sorry about the break up.

Skittles is very bonded to me and I him. He doesn't like anyone else.

While he doesn't attack the vet (or people who go with me to the vet), he WILL attack people in the apartment so I have to cage him if/when people come over (which isn't very often).

I don't know what your particular situation is and we can only know and understand so much being an online forum.

But I'd hate for you to make an emotional decision that you may come to regret.

Parrots are not given as much credit as they should be given. I think that we as parronts often underestimate their ability to adapt to change.

I may not be the popular opinion but if you feel like you are not able to give Izzy the attention he needs and has gotten in the past, rehome him. But I would recommend keeping him for a few months and really making sure to find a good family for him, and also that way it allows him some time to adjust to the schedule change but won't overwhelm him with both of you leaving his life at the same time.

Amy has been with me for nearly 30 years,and in those 30 years MY LIFE has seen many ups and downs/turmoils,from loosing a job,to being away from home all week and home on weekends ( I was a trucker) to my mom and brother passing,and Smokey passing..and Amy has come thru it like a trooper..
When I was on the road all week (sometimes I'd get a day/night home) my brother,or my best buddy Joe,would come by and feed her and spend an hour or so with her. I worried constantly about her well being,but she hung in there,knowing I'd be home soon.
She is still the lovable old girl she ever was...they are more resilient then we can imagine..don't give up on Izzy!


Jim

Kentuckienne said:

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Wow that gave me goose bumps reading this.

What's so sad about that poem is just how accurate it is.

One thing I don't understand is why so many people rehome their fids when things are tough rather than trying to work it out.

I'm not perfect and I hate to say that in my younger and more irresponsible years I did not make the best decisions regarding my birds. I live with those regrets every day of my life, but in all honesty those bad decisions were with birds I had no bond with and I lost patience with. I didn't try hard enough and they paid the price.

But I, for the life of me, could never rehome a bonded bird. It would be like giving my child up for adoption after raising it for years. I just couldn't do it. If you wouldn't do it to a child, don't do it to a bird.

I won't lie, much of my life is sacrifice on behalf of Skittles. I like seeing how happy he is and how much he loves his life. To me, part of being a parront is sacrifice. It's actually a BIG part and its one that I make willingly. My life was crap before I got Skittles and the funny thing is, I had a LOT more 'human' friends back then than I do now but I'm more happy now than I ever have been.

That one always makes my eyes wet.

wrench13 said:

That one always makes my eyes wet.

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I had to skip right by it because it doesn't just make my eyes a little wet, it causes ugly crying. I'm talking full-scale sobbing kind of crying.

To the OP: I agree with the others. Give it a trial run with the new schedule. You might find that he adjusts just fine and is perfectly happy in short order.

I gave up my Senegal because I had moved abroad and the other options were quarantine and leaving him with my mother. I left him with my mother for half a year while I was abroad to see how he adapted. I returned for a month and it took him two weeks to forgive me for leaving him. He's friendly with strangers, but he remembered I'd left him and resented it, trying for two weeks to bite me whenever I approached him. So I gave him treats and let him come to me.

I really didn't want to put him through quarantine, and I could see that he didn't like me leaving him with my mother, so I decided to rehome him. The first potential home I liked fell through, so I took about three months before I found another one I liked, and by this time I was back abroad. He was a retired guy, he interacted well with him over Skype (I skyped in when he visited my mother's house), so I let him take him.

For about a year he sent updates and I felt I made the right decision. Then they sopped, but I assumed it was because he was busy. He'd said I was welcome to visit, and if I ever return to the country I could take him back. I assumed the second was just something people say, but I emailed him when ended up back in the US and asked if I could visit him. No response, though no bounced email. I'm not sure if he's dead, was worried I'd take him back on the second part of the offer, or just missed the email. But though he retired young (I think he was 60 at the time time), he was retired, and my fourteen-year-old Senegal still had most of his life ahead of him.

It haunts me, and with hindsight I think it would have been better to leave him with my mother, but then I didn't know I'd be back in the US for good fifteen months after I gave him up. Quarantine was the other option, and I think that if I ever move abroad again, it's the one I'd choose. Quarantine seems really awful for a bird, but it's only for a month. I subjected my Senegal to two decades of uncertainty to avoid it.

I also rehomed my last lovebird, but since he wasn't hand-tame and liked birds more than people, I don't feel as bad about that, though I think maybe I should have given him to a sanctuary. (I didn't consider a sanctuary for the Senegal because I don't think they're an ideal place for hand-raised birds to live.)

I know I may be in the minority here- but if getting married or having kids required me to rehome Skittles, I wouldn't get married and I wouldn't have kids.

I've already ruled the two out. I have friends who don't agree with my decision because they feel I've cut myself off. But truth is, I am just too set in my ways and I am just happier with just having birds. To be frank, I just think people suck. Sorry.

I can't tell you how many times I've been hurt or betrayed by family I thought I could trust but I've never been hurt or betrayed by my fids. My friends know how I feel about my birds and they understand.

I just can't justify putting any person above my birds. I don't even put myself before Skittles. I may have just Skittles right now, but its not by my choice. It's just how things need to be at the moment.

For me, if someone can't at least tolerate being around parrots, I wouldn't want to be be with them anyways.

As for kids, I'm not sure that I'd want kids, but if I did, it seems like there must be ways to make the kids compatible with parrots. I got the Senegal I gave up when he was four because his previous owners had a kid who as a toddler started harassing him, but I think I'd deal with that problem if it arose by having a bird room with a lock on it.

Of course I did give up my birds to move abroad, but like I said, even if I move abroad again for some reason, I'll do quarantine this time. Giving up a bird is painful, and I've found that it's actually gotten harder for me with time. It felt like the right thing then, but the longer it's been the worse I've felt.