Rehoming my beloved Green-cheek, need help

TheGrouch

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Mar 21, 2017
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Hi all, this is my first post to the parrot forums, but I'm reaching out because I am in need of help in finding my beloved bird a new home, and timeline is short. He/she (never sexed, doesn't matter to me) is a Green-cheeked conure, 13 years old, about to be 14 in April, and has been my constant companion for all these years. This will be a long post, so brace yourselves.

The Reasons:

I've always done what was necessary to take care of Grouch, and for the past 13 years, I've always shifted my schedules around with my bird as my main priority. At the moment, I may be gone for 10-12 hours a day on the weekdays, but try to spend time with my bird in mornings and on weekends. Although I feel a bit guilty I can't be home more, The Grouch seems to be well-adjusted.

There is some uncertainty, but I need to start planning for the near future, which will be one of two paths: (1) my new job will demand that I am gone from home up to 8+ consecutive days at a time, camping in wilderness. That type of schedule is definitely not appropriate for proper bird-care. Or (2), I will move into Government housing, where I definitely will not be able to house a companion animal with me. I simply can't afford to pay to have my bird watched for such a long time period. At the moment, when I am gone from home for more than a day, I have family members watch my bird, but they are also moving away soon, so that option will not be available anymore. Also my family and friends are not 'bird people.' They don't even feel comfortable changing out the water in the bird cage =/.

To rehome The Grouch, who has been my constant companion for the past 13 years, is one of the hardest decisions I've been faced with, but I only want what's best for The Grouch. And I have to admit to myself when I can no longer be the one to provide the best care.

The Grouch:

Despite the name, my green-cheek is actually well-socialized, sweet, and gets along well with a lot of people, even strangers. He/she can meet someone for the first time, climb up on a shoulder and be happy to just sit there. He/she enjoys baths, coming into the shower with me, mist showers, cuddling and snuggling, assorted fruits and veggies, looking out the window, good conversation; dislikes are tissues/paper towels, and traveling (gets car sick).

Ideally I'm looking for bird people to adopt him/her, someone who is patient enough to learn my bird's unique personalities. Because despite his usual sweet demeanor, my bird can hold an attitude at times and get nippy when he/she is too excited. It takes a bird person to really understand this. I'm sure you all know what I mean when I say that to get along well with a bird, it's not so cut and paste as it is with dogs or cats.

He/she suffered an accident a couple years ago and is now 90% blind in the right eye. As a result, he/she prefers to stay in its cage most of the time now, and most of my interaction is indirect. I'd say in a 12 hour day, he may spend only 1-1.5 hours out of the cage. I now let him/her tell me when he/she wants to come out, and I don't force it. Sometimes when I ask him to step up, he just doesn't want to, and that's perfectly fine with me. I've also reduced the number of toys in the cage (there are still some), and rotate them around less frequently so there is more familiarity with his surroundings.

Despite the hardships, he's quite well-adjusted. He/she has never had an issue with plucking, even when I'm gone from home for most of the weekdays, maintains a good appetite, knows how to play with toys by himself, grinds his beak contently all the time, and his feathers appear very healthy. In the past, when I've had to leave him/her at the Avian vet for days at a time while I'm unable to care for him/her, I've been told he/she's always been friendly with the staff, and is content to just sit in the cage next to the other conures and looking out the window. I've attached a picture of him enjoying a banana, one of his favorites.

Conclusion:

I first reached out to friends, in the hopes that they may know someone who was thinking of adopting a companion bird, then I reached out to vet clinics and some non-profits (Mickaboo) but time is running out, so I am reaching out to the forums. I currently live in California, in the Sacramento/Roseville/Rocklin area. Everything would be provided of course (cage, lighting, heat lamps, toys, etc.), granted I find the right home. At this point, I really don't see myself as the best care provider anymore. If I somehow found a way to keep him, I would feel very selfish, for the bird would remain with me, but would be suffering a LOT of neglect.

Now, I do have some prospects. Good news is, there is a friend of a friend of a friend who has adopted several birds up to this point and she may be interested. I'm still waiting to hear more on this, and it may lead to a successful adoption, but the reason for this post is that I really want to make sure I cover all my bases. The worst case scenario would be still not being able to find my bird a new home 3-5 weeks from now. I would greatly appreciate any advice or constructive criticism, but please be gentle because this feeling is worse than losing a girlfriend, it's like giving away MY OWN SON.

I'll continue to update this as I find out more. Thanks all.

Sincerely,

Neil
 

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GaleriaGila

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I am so very sorry and sympathetic.
I can't offer help, but this is a wonderful community and I have faith that people will come forward with their best advice and assistance!
Best of luck to you and Grouch!
 

itzjbean

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I will echo what Gail has said, I am so sorry you have to make this decision but it is totally understandable. You are making the right decision here! I am across the country from you so cannot offer to adopt him but I wish you luck in finding your special guy a home.
 

BeatriceC

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I hope you find the perfect home for him. It sounds like you're making the painful and selfless decision. I know that stinks. The Grouch sounds like a great little bird. If I was closer and didn't already have a full house, I'd be asking to meet him.
 

ToriTielMom

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Mar 21, 2017
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Neil,

I am so sorry for your situation, but I am pleased that I am actually in your area and can offer you a few great options!

First, there's a great group of parrot owners in Nor Cal who have a Facebook page where people can also rehome and adopt birds. Wonderful people here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1606082019660952/?fref=nf You can make a post and screen the interested potential adopters yourself.

If for time and/or simplicity's sake, you could also place your bird with one of two great local rescue resources. These folks are reputable and would find the right home for your baby. First is Parrot Planet in Sacramento (J Street); talk with owner Dana Strome. Their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pg/ParrotPlanetLLC/services/?service_id=1142088659188753&ref=page_internal

Also check out Sacramento Parrot Rescue, actually pretty close in Citrus Heights: https://www.facebook.com/Sacramentoparrotrescue/ .

I wish you all the best, and hope this provides some help to you!

:grey:
 

gavagai

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Mar 18, 2017
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At this point, I really don't see myself as the best care provider anymore. If I somehow found a way to keep him, I would feel very selfish, for the bird would remain with me, but would be suffering a LOT of neglect.
I felt similarly when I rehomed my fourteen-year-old Senegal; two of my options were putting him through quarantine and leaving him with my mother, who would care for him and let him sit on her shoulder if he came over but wouldn't pick him up if he didn't come over and wouldn't really give him attention if he did.

Since he resented being left with my mother for six months and I wasn't sure when I'd be established enough to import him, plus I wasn't sure how hard quarantine would be on him, I rehomed him to a retired guy who seemed very into him and sent me updates. I felt good about my decision even after the updates stopped, then I found myself suddenly back home for good (I never really did get established the way I thought I did) and the guy I gave him to didn't respond to my emails. I worry now that either the retired guy died or he decided to rehome him himself and doesn't want to tell me, or the Senegal died and he doesn't want to tell me.

It's been more than four years since I moved back, and if he were properly cared for since I gave him up he should have 10-15 years more to live. He could have lived 15-20 years more with me, and he really would have had to live with my mother only another year and three months before I gave him up for good.

In light of my own experience I'd ask a couple things:

  1. How long do you expect the job and/or housing situation to last?
  2. Is there any chance you could get your bird permitted in housing as an emotional support animal, or just by asking nicely? One thing I realized in apartment hunting in the states is that "no pets" policies are designed around cats and dogs, both of which can be quite destructive. (Of course so can the larger parrots!) If you have a small cagebird, a lot of people will make exceptions.
  3. Have you considered having someone watch your bird on a trial basis? Particularly because the Grouch doesn't seem to need all that much interaction time with you anyways, they might react well. You could visit as often as you can, and see how they react to your visits, and how they seem to be adapting.
If you definitely feel you need to go through with this, I wish you all the best, and hopefully they end up in a good home. It would be nice if they end up in the home of the person you sort-of know rather than a complete stranger.
 
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snowflake311

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Jun 7, 2016
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I feel for you and your bird. I am very sorry.

I am tempted to help you out. I live up in Tahoe. Do you think in a year or so you might have the time for your bird again? May I ask what kind of job you are going for? Sounds like maybe firefighter? I might be able to give your bird a temporary home during times you are gone? I live 2 hours away.

I could maybe talk my husband into letting me do long term pet sitting... I have a young black capped conure that is a spoiled brat.

A rescue group would be a good start. The Sac parrot rescue is good. I contacted them to help with a family members bird when she passed away.
 

Scott

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RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.
Welcome to the forums, Neil. I deeply empathize with your dilemma and salute your efforts to place Grouch with the best possible home.

Don't have much advice beyond that posted, and hope you find him a loving and caring home.
 
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TheGrouch

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First of all, thank you all for allowing me to share and for all the great replies. I'm the only 'bird person' amongst my close friends and family so it's helpful to just get my thoughts out to people who would understand my situation.

Let me do my best to address all the questions thus far:

ToriTielMom: Thank you so much for the resource links. I'd like to reach out to them but I am not active on Facebook, however, I'm definitely going to look into those groups' websites either later this week or beginning of next week. I have some early prospects so I'm going to be patient and positive and see how those play out over the next few days.

gavagai: It's hard to predict what's going to happen in the future, so all I can do is to make the best decisions based on what I know in the present.

1) There's a lot of uncertainty in my future (not that that's a bad thing), so it's hard to say for sure how long my housing situation will last, but at least for the next 2 years.

2) If I go the route of Government housing, no chance. If I'm able to find my own apartment that allows birds, I won't be home often, up to 8 days at a time, or 10-12 hour work days at least. The guilt-trip of neglecting my bird is too great.

3) That is something I'm considering. However at this point, to me at least, finding a viable foster caretaker and someone more permanent are two sides of the same coin. The only thing is, with a foster caretaker, I have no end-date in sight at the moment. If I find someone more permanent, great, if I can't, I would have to settle for a foster situation and play it by ear.

snowflake311: I'm an aquatic/fisheries biologist so I'm out in the field a lot. Sometimes reaching high-alpine lakes and streams requires camping/backpacking where I would be gone from home for several days at a time. I'm waiting to hear back on a potential job. Job 1 would require 8+ consecutive days in the field. If I don't get job 1, job 2 will require 10+ hours a day, with occasional camping. While I'm looking for something more permanent, most of my jobs have been seasonal, so even two years from now, it's hard to predict where my next seasonal job will take me. You're too kind, but I would not force my conure on anyone. Also, if you and your husband decide to take my bird in temporarily, I can't give you an end-date.

The advice, resource links, and support has already been very helpful and is already more than I expected. Thank you so much. If my early prospects don't pan out, I'm definitely going to check out Sacramento Parrot Rescue first, followed by the others that were recommended. If there are more, please keep 'em coming. I'll keep checking in and updating as things develop.

Thanks all. More to come.
 

EllenD

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I'll say the same to you, I'm very sorry you have to do this, yet I'm thankful you only want what is best for your bird. That's a rare quality, unfortunately, and I wish others could understand the concept of selflessness.

I have an almost 2 year old yellow-sided green cheek, he's my second green cheek, and only someone that has owned a green cheek can understand how unique their personalities are. Bowie is my special little buddy and I can't imagine losing him or any of my birds, though I almost had to rehome all of them last year due to a serious, sudden medical issue, and I was heartbroken and almost lost my mind over it. If not for my mom stepping in to help me full-time I would have lost them and my dogs, so I truly feel your pain and really do know what you're going through. Positive energy your way.

If I lived in Cali I'd foster Grouch for you in a heartbeat, and if in the future you were again able to take him back there would be no problems at all, ideally I hope you can find an experienced, loving bird owner/lover that will be a long-term foster for you. You never know what the future holds. Unfortunately I'm on the entire other side of the country in Pennsylvania, and I know lots of people in the Los Angeles area but that's it in Cali. My heart goes out to you, I have fostered birds in the past for people and had them take them back once they were able, once I kept a cockatiel for a second cousin of mine for over 4 years. I also volunteer at a large exotic animal and bird rescue with some connections to California, so I'll ask around about long-term fostering in Sacramento when I go in on Saturday.



"Dance like nobody's watching..."
 
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TheGrouch

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Sent Bonnie over at Sacramento Parrot Rescue an Email a couple of hours ago and I just got off the phone with her.

The good news is that if I can't find the right candidate on my own, then in two weeks time, she will have space and will be available to take in my beloved conure. I can't even begin to describe in words how much peace of mind this gives me.

The bad (?) news is that now it's really hitting home that in about two weeks time I will be saying goodbye to my best friend and constant companion for the past 13 years. He's been with me through many moves, college, grad school, relationships, etc. He's been the one constant in my life up until now. I almost lost all composure and was holding back tears while on the phone :(. I had so much to say but instead found myself hardly able to talk. I'm sure the tears will be flowing as I type up The Grouch's bio for his future adopter.

However, I continue to think about this logically, and it's unfair to him that I'm not home often. Since I don't have other birds, I am his flock. I really really hope I'm doing the selfless thing here, but it is a lot harder than I could have ever imagined.

Thanks to all who gave advice and shared sentiments. This is a great community and I wish I would have joined it years ago. Finding Bonnie over at Sacramento Parrot Rescue would not have been at all possible if it wasn't for you guys. <3

I'll keep you posted to any changes.

Edit: Any advice on writing the birdie bio would also be greatly appreciated. For now, I plan to throw everything in there... I mean everything.
 

ToriTielMom

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Thanks so much for the update, Neil! Glad you made contact with Bonnie and that now you have a "backstop" option if your other prospects don't work out. So happy our suggestions were of help!

Your baby is an adorable little guy, and your feelings are completely understandable. I'm sure a very loving home will present itself soon and you can have peace of mind.

Please keep us posted! Blessings to you both! :grey:
 

OneHorseRanch

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Neil, So sad, so sorry. I hope there's a loving home out there for him.
Maybe this will help: Here is a number for the breeder where I got my bird 3 years ago. She may know some contacts that could help. She's located in Modesto. Her name is Sue. Wonderful woman. Loves all her birds up to the day they leave her home. 209-544-8980. I hope she can help you out.
 

Sand1

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my husband and i will take him if you can delta fly him to florida? I'm a nurse , i live in great warm weather, and only work weekends! I've had a green cheek conure, so i know how they are.

if you still need a home for your son, let me know and i'll talk to my husband. i wont mention it unless i hear from you.
 
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TheGrouch

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Oh my gosh, I went to Bonnie's today to bring my conure over, and I wanted to share my experience, so long-post incoming, but definitely worth reading if you believe in love at first sight.

First of all, thanks to all who really stepped up to help, I really regret not joining this wonderful forum years ago. Sorry for not updating sooner, I've been really busy trying to tie up loose ends and searching for somewhere to live in the area of my new job. Oh yea, interview went well, I got the job with unpredictable hours, backpacking, and generally long days. Ultimately, I decided to bring my bird to Bonnie over at Sacramento Parrot Rescue. After speaking with her, I felt comfortable with her process of adopting out her birds, allowing the birds to choose their owner.

Bonnie is a wonderful, kind hearted person who is really experienced with birds. Up to that moment, I had no experience with larger birds, different species, and no first-hand experience in the parrot flock mentality. I was just fascinated watching the different birds interact with each other--who likes who, who doesn't like who, etc. I ended up spending I think 3.5+ hours just interacting with all the birds and asking all sorts of questions. I had such a good time.

I consider myself experienced in understanding bird psychology and reading bird behavior, but my source of knowledge really all came from 14 years with The Grouch, which has been a learning curve, reading online articles, and talking to other bird people. All self-taught, so I never considered myself an expert, I merely had expertise in this area. I certainly learned a lot today and have a lot more to learn.

Here's what happened, in a nutshell. Set The Grouch up in his cage, and he was very content to just observe what was going on, even mumbled a few incoherent phrases of his own. He was not scared at all, even when the neighboring sun conure flew over and landed on his cage. Drank some water, ate a cashew, ate a raisin. He was just hanging out, and happy to be around other birds.... so far, so good.

I was surrounded by so many different species that I just had to investigate them all. There were several birds that took a liking to me, but didn't feel comfortable to let me pet them, of course I didn't force it. For example, there was an amazon who was pulling out all the stops, showing off his vocabulary to me, which Bonnie informed he never does that unless he likes you, and he even let me scratch him on the head; and a female eclectus who was real fascinated with me, but backed off a bit when I asked her to step up (I'm sure another hour or so talking to her would have won her over :09:).

However, as I walked into her second bird room to see her other birds, there was a beautiful Jardine's parrot that fell in love with me as soon as I entered. I didn't pick up on the subtle body language on my own, it was Bonnie who was like "oh my gosh, she likes you." I said, "really? how can you tell, she's being all shy near the back of the cage," to which Bonnie replied, "no, she's being coy and flirting." The parrot was sort of playing hard to get, hiding behind a large cereal box, one of her shredding toys. Five minutes later, she starts approaching me slowly. Five minutes after that, I slowly offer her my finger and asked if she wanted some scratches. Keep in mind, I've never interacted with a bird larger than my conure, and that beak was a bit intimidating, so I was hesitant. Bonnie reassured me that this parrot especially loves males, and has never seen her like another man as much as what she was showing in that moment. So...five minutes after that, I leaned forward and we nuzzled foreheads. Instant connection. Five minutes after that, I asked if she wanted to step up, and she raised one foot up, and the rest was true love. She sat on my shoulder for 30 or more minutes (I don't know, love makes you lose all concept of time), where she whispered sweet nothings in my ear, cuddled, and gave me endless kisses all over my face, while her head was upside down, right side up, just all over the place. Wow, she was really forward, and I had only known her for 30 minutes. Let me tell you, I felt so guilty, I felt like I was cheating on The Grouch. Bonnie said, "wow, if you were here to adopt, I would let you take her home right now," to which I replied, "yea, I would take her home in a heartbeat if I could." In that moment, I totally understood why some people have multiple birds. Sometimes there's just a natural connection; when it's real, it's undeniably real.

Back to my bird:
The Grouch is a sweetheart, but can be nippy at times, but I know how to deal with that. One of my biggest concerns was that if a potential adopter comes to check him out, and all of a sudden The Grouch nips, he or she may be turned off and ultimately decide not to keep the bird. I don't have experience with other Green-Cheeks but Bonnie assured me that that's just how the species is. There were some other Green cheeks there, including her own, and she said compared to most other green cheeks she's seen, The Grouch is one of the sweetest and she can tell I showered him with love.

Right when I was about to leave, she said something to me, "Neil, you know your bird's not going to miss you, right?" It was such an unexpected comment, but actually made me feel a lot better. Birds live in the moment and they are prey animals, so with all that activity going on in that house, he's not going to "miss" me because he'll be so busy checking out his surroundings constantly. My heart sank when I heard it, but actually made me feel better because it made me realize I'm way more attached to my Grouchie than he is of me.

This all happened this afternoon, and earlier tonight, she sent over an Email saying hi and that it was a pleasure to meet me, and that as she was typing up the Email, The Grouch was contently sitting on her shoulder snuggling up in her hair making clicking noises. After she saw my interactions with my bird, she assured me that she won't accept any less from a potential adopter... so I think all will be well.

Oh yea, I fell in love with that place, and based on today's experience, I plan to volunteer there regularly from now on. I'll get to see The Grouch again, I'll get to see my new mistress, the Jardine's, and I'm sure given enough time, I'll win over the eclectus.

A great experience, a bittersweet day, but I'm learning to let go of any and all attachments. I wish I could post the minute long video I took of the me and the Jardine's but I don't think it would be appropriate (not safe for work).

Good night, everyone, and thanks!
 

Kentuckienne

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Oct 9, 2016
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Now that's a great outcome to a potentially sad story. Congratulations, and have fun with the rivers this year, should be exciting!
 

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