**Need serious behavior help-long post**

My male Jenday Conure, Kellan, will be 2 in October. Long story short, while at an exotics store where I've gotten my other 2 Conures, Kellan was finishing his weaning process and for what ever reason he fell in love with me. And while I wasn't in love with his $600 price tag, seeing him so excited to see me (which he wasn't like with others) and seeing him trying to follow me out the doors, had me cracking open my wallet. There was no denying he chose me.

Kellan loved everyone and was loved by all (humans). He had Dance Moms marathons with me and some friends, along with my other 2 Conures all sitting with people in separate places, and was a total ham. Lived for playing with hands and hair, getting and giving kisses, rolling on his back for peek a boo and foot massages.....

Then 6-8 months ago he changed. He started becoming an absolute demon with other people, while he stayed the same as always with me. Even my mother faced his demonic wrath at each turn.

I'm talking puffing up, chasing (he's clipped but he'd chase you off the couch on foot), nasty bites, screaming, pinned eyes, open beak.... Every bit of body language just screamed Aggression. And he did this both in and out of his cage, no matter what room I was in.

I have fibromyalgia, and since I have no social life outside my house, my birds are my constant companions. From the fibro there are times when I literally can't get out of bed or think straight thanks to the meds. That's where my mother, heaven love her, comes in. She becomes their care giver on those days, which are normally few.

So you can imagine how my poor mother felt when Kellan turned on her too. Nothing has ever been done to that bird to cause him to be like this. So after a visit to the vet, hormones was our only conclusion.

We tried everything suggested. Diet change, anxiety supplements, mom doing all his care taking, clicker training, mom sharing her meals, me giving Kellan extra love when Mom was around, extra play times to blow off steam, time outs, more stimulating toys, redirecting his attention to something positive... The list goes on.

We had a slight break through... Mom could finally sit 5 feet away without getting his bad side... Though she couldn't look at him or touch him. But hey, it was something. And I though we were making progress.

Then 2 months ago, everything changed. Including his relationship with me.

I had a co worker drop a box on the back of my head and neck, setting off a hell storm of fibro flare ups. For almost a whole month I spent most of my time sleeping from the meds or curled in a ball waiting to pass out. Not pretty. Mind you he and the other Conures live in my room with me, so they could see me the entire time.

Mom did what she always did. Except, unlike with everyone else, Kellan got no out of the cage time because my mother can't handle him. So instead she dodged attacks to make sure his water was always fresh, his dish was always full, he got his daily fruit and veg, his cage stayed clean, and she even (heaven bless the bites she got) changed out his toys to make sure he has extra foraging and stimulation to make up for him being locked away.

When I finally was brain+awake enough to step back into 'flock caretaker role', Kellan's behavior shocked me.

Now he's turned on me. While he's not aggressive in anger, he's aggressive in demanding. His normally gentle mouth play (he out mouths my young Macaw any day), is now harder. His grooming me has become harder and more obsessive as well as his demands to be groomed. He's digging at my clothes. He's smacking hid beak against me. His screaming is out of control. And everytime I try to correct him, I get a hard pinch (no blood but close).

And the worst part? Kellan had been molting. And his usually beautiful feathers have stress bars on the tops of his wings, and his tail is tattered but with no bars. NO PLUCKING though.

Kellan is normally crazy with his toys and rolling around on the cage floor with them so I'm hoping his tail is just messed from that.

Now Kellan has always had his 'wobbie', a toy that if made up of a ring that has strips of fabric hanging like a canopy curtian, which he loves to snuggle with at night (please note we check it daily). Some days he is able to Unknot some strips to through on the floor but he never shreds them. He's destructive with toys.

I can touch the wobbie with no problems so I don't think he's attached himself to that instead of me... But you can obviously tell his out of cage time now is frustrating him.

He's demanding and being aggressive about it, I'm not letting him get away with it, he's getting angry and nipping, he goes for a time out.

I feel like he's just trying to reconnect with me like old days but he gets over buzzed and when he becomes a brat I'm pushing him away, and he thinks I don't want him and we are both to frustrated to make head way.

He still recalls, steps up for me with no issues, rolls over on his back.... But his play is way too rough, his grooming me is obsessive and rough, his digging at my clothes and nipping at my face are odd for him.

He gets to rough, I try to calm him down, and he gets more upset and obsessive.

I'm just not sure what to do

I feel bad putting him in a time out because it's obvious he's acting up from him not getting his 'mom time'. But his behavior is out of hand and I don't want him to get the wrong idea.

In my home we make sure the head, a light scratch on the neck or chin, and feet are the only places our hands go, and any 'breeding hormone' behavior isn't tolerated because we don't want then to develop any misconceptions.

Any ideas on what to try? I'm literally lost here and just want to help Kellan get back into the right frame of mind.

My only other option is to send him to 'boot camp'. A 2 week stay with the local Parrot rescues behavior specialist (who also is the head behaviorist/trainer at the aviary) for personalized behavior correction/redirection. Then I do a few classes with him with the trainer before he comes home.

I don't want to treat Kellan like he's a problem child and send him away. I'd rather we do this together. I put him in this position. I'll do everything in my power to get him out.

Please please please... If you have any advice I'm all ears.

Btw.... All my other fids are still the same as always, though just a bit more clingy than normally. But everyone is being given extra love, scratches, and everyone got new custom made toys to fit their own styles of play.... Goodnye $300 ROFL

As a new parrot owner, I can't give much in depth advice, but I will say this..

My male sun Conure Sammy who I've had for about 4 weeks has been like this since day 1. The only difference is that I didn't get the blessing of him choosing me. That being said though, he does accept me and steps up, trains and is generally used to me. But like yours, he is very demanding and what I like to call "Rebellious". He essentially does what he wants without my consent. I think my Sammy is different because he is so young (15 weeks) but the way you described yours just reminded me of him.

It sounds to me that you two have some "catching up" to do from the forced break. I'll leave advice on how to go about this to the more experienced, but hang in there and persist on! He'll be sure to get back to his old self eventually!

@GlitchTown... WELCOME! and welcome to the world of being owned by a Parrot ROFL. Conures are such little divas. They are the Chihuahua of the bird world. Sun Conure are so sweet. My Sun, Mouse, is a total angel ��

You and Sammi will be best buds before you know it. Just remember to keep your rules with him the same. They need consistany... Or you end up on my situation :/

Honestly it sounds like you are doing everything right, unfortunately his hormonal surge is coinciding with your health issues and aggravating his frustration. I would suggest looking for posts by birdman666 on possessive/territorial/aggressive macaws. I find his suggestions for Macaws are often an exact fit for conures.


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Persistent and consistent. Hormones suck as much for the birds as for you, if not more so. Just give love and as much time as you can, without putting your physical or mental health at risk. He will come around, but it might take up to or over six months. Hang in there ��

I second the Birdman666 recommendation...

it does sound like you're doing things right, unfortunately the sudden changes with your issues and his hormones have given you a grumpy teenager who's scared you're going to stop playing with them. Just keep being as consistent as you can with them and not punishing or rewarding when they crank up the beak pressure. Possibly for a while try to keep them off your shoulder. I feel that the shoulder is something they need to earn through mutual trust and if you can't trust them not to bite or scream in your ear then they haven't earned the privilege and need to be on hands or perches until they have proven they can be good.

LoveMyConlan said:

@GlitchTown... Conures are such little divas. They are the Chihuahua of the bird world. :/

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I am so sorry for what you are going through, there is nothing like being really sick and then having to deal with a constant daily feathered temper tantrum.

As the loving mom to a chihuahua, I can honestly say they are from the same mold. My Chico (6-7lb chihuahua) has no fear and rules the roost. Even my unruly ram who will gladly knock you down if you show any fear has had the fear of Chico put in him. The other dogs just submit, although my new Kelpie rescue smashes him with her paw and just looks at him. If looks could kill Hazel would be 6 feet under.

Back to your little killer. Although it breaks your heart, try your best to stay level and consistent. The little tornado needs to know that his antics will not be rewarded, in fact, they (and him) will be unceremoniously ignored until he can behave. When he is being good, surprise him with something he really enjoys (a sunflower seed, a bath, a scritch, a toy, whatever). As soon as he acts up just calmly put him back in his cage and push ignore. It's not a punishment, just a consistent reaction to his behavior, no anger, no frustration (that he can see - you may actually feel like going through the roof), just put him away and go read a book or chill out some other way.

Good luck.

-Jen

That's great advice there. Much better then sending your bird to "boot camp'. Jezz what will they try to sell us next.

Sam Kineson had a comedy bit, playing an animal psychologist. He pretends he is saying to the client how well little pookie will be, leads the dog into another room, closes the door, removes the dogs leash, and proceeds to beat the fantasy dog violently , saying all the while "Your a dog, your a dog, your a dog". I'd be afraid that is exactly what would happen at birdy boot camp. I think Salty would try to taste marrow, a phrase I particularly like.

This so sounds like hormones kicking in. Poor parrots get a giant does of them the first time it kicks in, then level out, only coming round once a year.