I accidentally crushed my bird.

fouri

New member
Dec 9, 2018
1
4
Hi everyone, I'm new here, and I don't mean to be a bummer or anything, but I just want to share something that happened this morning.

I had a Green-Cheeked Conure named Gizmo. We hadn't gotten around to getting his DNA tested to determine his gender before this incident, so I will be using he/him pronouns since we all had a gut feeling that Gizmo was a boy.

Before this incident, I used to sleep a lot with Gizmo cuddled up beside me. I never paid it much thought, since I do not move at all while I sleep, and he seemed very happy. I'd always make sure he was in a spot where I could see him, and did not go to sleep before he did. Sometimes it was with me, and sometimes he would be cuddled up with a thin blanket he seemed to like.

I'm sure you guys can see where I am going with this.

Thankfully, later I was told that it is actually extremely dangerous to sleep with your bird next to you, so I stopped and opted to look for one of those tiny huts for him to sleep in.

Recently, however, we went and got his wings clipped for the first time, and I felt really bad because Gizmo seemed to be having a lot of trouble adjusting. We had not managed to find him one of those huts yet, so we just settled with covering his cage and all that. But last night I just felt really bad and thought that it wouldn't hurt to let him sleep next to me this one night as long as I was really careful. I thought that the chances of him dying were slim.

Big, big mistake.

I fell asleep before I could take any of the precautions I mentioned earlier (which probably wouldn't have helped anyway). Because he was sitting on top of me at the time that I fell asleep(I sleep on my side), he hopped down and settled for going to sleep behind me or something. In the morning when I woke up, I forgot that he was with me, and moved a little bit, then fell asleep again. That must have been when I began crushing him because a little bit later, my mom came in and realized that he was under me.

I made a really big, irresponsible mistake, and wanted to share it. I shouldn't have ever doubted how fragile birds really are, and I really regret it.

Gizmo was the most amazing bird, and I hate that he had to suffer this way. I love him so much. He deserved better.
 

noodles123

Well-known member
Jul 11, 2018
8,145
472
Parrots
Umbrella Cockatoo- 15? years old..I think?
I am so sorry for your loss. It is truly devastating. Thank you so much for sharing, because you are not the first person to sleep with his/her bird, and despite warnings, sometimes I fear that it takes stories like this to really change people's opinions/behavior. I hope that your story saves lives and again, I am so sorry. Everyone makes mistakes and by sharing yours, you are preventing others from making the same one. Thank you for being brave enough to post it.
 
Last edited:

chris-md

Well-known member
Feb 6, 2010
4,349
2,119
Maryland - USA
Parrots
Parker - male Eclectus

Aphrodite - red throated conure (RIP)
Greetings fouri. I’m so sorry your first introductory post had to be this. You have my most profound sympathies.

Unfortunately we’ve had this near identical story a couple times on this forum. Please don’t take it out on yourself. You gave gizmo a wonderful home. Unfortunately accidents can and do happen. Sometimes avoidble, sometimes not. But don’t doubt for one moment that you did everything you could for him.

Big hugs to you.
 

Scott

Supporting Member
Aug 21, 2010
32,673
9,789
San Diego, California USA, Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
Parrots
Goffins: Gabby, Abby, Squeaky, Peanut, Popcorn / Citron: Alice / Eclectus: Angel /Timneh Grey: ET / Blue Fronted Amazon: Gonzo /

RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.
My deepest condolences for your loss of Gizmo.

Tragic accidents happen, perhaps another member will read this and ensure this does not happen to one of their birds.
 

AmyMyBlueFront

Well-known member
Apr 14, 2015
6,315
Media
4
3,034
Connecticut
Parrots
Amy a Blue Front 'Zon
Jonesy a Goffins 'Too who had to be rehomed :-(

And a Normal Grey Cockatiel named BB who came home with me on 5/20/2016.
Sighhhh….:31::19: :40:




Jim
 

Rudustin

New member
Oct 25, 2018
56
2
Miami Beach, Fl.
Parrots
Queen Bavarian Conure
Words cannot express how sad this is to hear. You are very brave to have shared this incident with all of us. I am the new owner of a Golden Conure. I have always had very large birds like Macaws and Cockatoos so they would not allow me to go to sleep with them on me or next to me because they would either nip me or they would get off me and go to there cages. I fell asleep for a short time yesterday with my GC on my chest. This is a big lesson for me to not let that happened again! I am so sorry for your loss but I respect you so much for letting us know what happened. I know in my case I shall not let that happen with my new precious GC after reading this post. You are to be commended for telling us your tale of woe. RIP Gizmo!
 

YUMgrinder

Member
Mar 20, 2017
920
26
Cheyenne, WY
Parrots
-Jazz, Normal Grey Cockatiel /

-Chessie, Pearl Cockatiel /

-Perry, Black capped Conure /

-JoJo, Pineapple GCC /

3 little busy Budgies
I'm very sorry for your loss. It's extra painful when you blame yourself. Have a little funeral for him, tell him you love him and send him away to parrot heaven. He'll wait for you :)
 

ChristaNL

Banned
Banned
May 23, 2018
3,559
157
NL= the Netherlands, Europe
Parrots
Sunny a female B&G macaw;
Japie (m) & Appie (f), both are congo african grey;
All are rescues- had to leave their previous homes for 'reasons', are still in contact with them :)
So sorry to read this.
Thank you for posting- most of us have made mistakes with our birds one time or another, always sad when there is no happy end.
 

EllenD

New member
Aug 20, 2016
3,979
65
State College, PA
Parrots
Senegal Parrot named "Kane"; Yellow-Sided Green Cheek Conure named "Bowie"; Blue Quaker Parrot named "Lita Ford"; Cockatiel named "Duff"; 8 American/English Budgie Hybrids; Ringneck Dove named "Dylan"
Oh Fouri, I'm so sorry that this happened to your baby...It's a mistake that many, many people have made, not that it helps you at all but please don't think that this is something that you're alone in doing...

And thank-you so much for posting your tragic story for others to read...I know that we've had many new members come on the forum here and tell us that they sleep with their birds, a lot of Green Cheeks and Sun Conures, and when we try to warn them about not ever sleeping with their birds for just this reason, they always totally ignore us and say something like "We've been sleeping in bed together since I brought him home, it's fine, we have a system", or "It's fine because I don't move much at all during the night"...They just won't listen to reason, warnings, or etc. So hopefully you unselfishly sharing your story will prevent someone else from making the same mistake...I certainly hope so...
 

Aratingettar

New member
May 29, 2018
707
112
Poland
Parrots
Sun t̶e̶r̶r̶o̶r̶i̶s̶t̶ C̶o̶n̶u̶r̶e̶ terrorist Cytrynka (F),
Peach faced lovebird Fiona (F),
Peach faced lovebird Fionek (M)
I can't even understand how bad you feel right now... I believe the pain in your heart is enormous. But answer yourself, why did the accident happened at all? And the answer is... because you LOVED Gizmo. And he LOVED you back. He went to parrot-heaven. It's the ultimate target for us all. Unfortunately he went there too soon, but it's just out of our control.
But for sure, he must have experienced your love to him.

But your situation is not all wasted. Because you shared it with us, there's a chance another Parrot's live will be saved. Thanks to Gizmo's sacrifice. RIP, Gizmo.
 

Allee

Well-known member
Oct 27, 2013
16,852
Media
2
212
Texas
Parrots
U2-Poppy(Poppy lives with her new mommy, Misty now) CAG-Jack, YNA, Bingo, Budgie-Piper, Cockatiel-Sweet Pea Quakers-Harry, Sammy, Wilson ***Zeke (quaker) Twinkle (budgie) forever in our hearts
Deepest condolences for your tragic lost, I'm so very sorry. Thank you for sharing your experience in the midst of your grief, your story may get through to many more parronts than advice alone could ever do. There are no words powerful enough to comfort you in your loss but I hope your sweet memories of Gizmo will help to ease the pain.
 

VeronicaJ

New member
Nov 9, 2018
32
2
Coconut Creek, FL
Parrots
Emoji - GCC,
Koko - Umbrella 'too (sister's bird, but we live together and I interact more with her.), Caroline - CAG (A 3 yr foster from 12 yrs ago that still has my heart)
I'm so sorry for your loss. And I commend you for Your honest telling of this avoidable choice so others won't feel That same pain. Your tragedy could be someone else's good fortune.

Emoji had fallen asleep several times snuggled in my hair, but I move...a lot. But I have smothered orphaned baby possums I was rehabbing trying to keep them warm in my clothing and fell asleep after working a night shift. It's a devastating feeling.

My heart goes out to you. Please be easy on yourself. Just learn the lesson and continue to carry the message. [emoji175]

Sent from my LGL64VL using Tapatalk
 

smbrds

Well-known member
May 17, 2016
1,202
Media
1
59
Central Florida
Parrots
Normal (or not so!) Grey Cockatiel
Saddest and deepest condolences. There are lots of stories of mistakes like this happening and your story could also help ease the sorrow and pain of what they're experiencing.
 

Jenypher

New member
Nov 5, 2018
41
2
Western Massachussetts, USA
Parrots
3 'tiels (Sophie, Peter and Melvin), 1 DYH Amazon (Baya), 1 Caique (Twenty), 2 Conures (Spider & Lizard), and 1 foster (Faust)
I'm so sorry for your loss. I also lost a green cheek to a preventable accident, and very much understand what you're feeling / going through right now. It gets better, slowly.
 

FrancisMom

Member
Nov 4, 2018
76
19
Greensboro, NC
Parrots
U2 - Francis "Francie"
I can honestly say I know what you're going through. After doing rescue/management of feral cats for many years I have torn my heart to shreds over things, some things that I had no control over but others that were my doing, out of ignorance and, yes, hope. Unfortunately I have no magic words that will make you feel better. All I can do is empathize and say the pain will diminish over time.


And when you're feeling miserable you can always come here and be with people who accept you no matter what.


On a more upbeat note, you've just made another step toward being an "expert" at birds. :41:
 

Skittys_Daddy

Well-known member
Jan 6, 2014
2,172
63
Lewiston, Maine
Parrots
Neotropical Pigeon - "Skittles" (born 3/29/10)
Cockatiel - "Peaches" (1995-2015) R.I.P.
Budgie - "Sammy"
(1989-2000) R.I.P.
Budgie - "Sandy"
(1987-1989) R.I.P.
Given Skittles penchant for diving into my shirt and hiding in places, I never thought of letting him sleep with me as a realistic option. However, I did used to think he'd be fine if I were to lay atop the covers in the afternoon and nap. I figured he'd be so busy playing "watchbird" while I slept that he'd be fine. That wasn't the case.

I happened to be lying in bed one afternoon and I was awoken by this very loud screech. Skittles had been chewing on my pillowcase and got one of his talons trapped in the threading. It was incredibly scary and he was thrashing around and it tightened the threading to the point where I couldn't even cut it with regular pair of scissors. I had to use a pair of curved surgical scissors that allowed me to get under the threading to cut it. The whole thing took nearly ten minutes to resolve and that was all I needed to learn that lesson. Had it not been for my neighbor helping me, I don't know how I would have gotten him free.

I'll admit I am now overly cautious and that results in denying him certain treats and certain activities that he enjoys when the safety is a risk or a factor. I was afraid he wouldn't love me anymore if I deprived him of risky/dangerous foods/activities. I've discovered, it bothers me more than him. He gets over it quickly and moves on while I obsess over worrying about his happiness.

I think so often we think something is cute or we enjoy a certain activity and think its harmless. Take the cuddle huts. Skittles had one for nearly five years when I took it away. A friend of mine felt bad for him (and put me on a guilt trip) and said I shouldn't deprive him of something he liked so much. That if it hadn't been an issue yet, it wouldn't be. Not true and it was not a risk I was willing to take.

I was able to get her to shut up though. I said to her, "okay, since you feel that way, I'll keep it in his cage for him. Now, if I come home one day and he's hanging from it, dead, what will you say then?". She never brought it up again.

Sometimes love and parronting require us to do things we don't want to do. Our fids are so cute and sweet we just want them to always be happy. Sometimes though, we have to draw a line. Some of us learn that lesson early, some late. Some learn tragically and some never learn at all.

I was shocked to discover Skittles was actually overweight at his last exam. The year prior, I had told the vet what I had been feeding him for 'treats' and I was doing it cause I loved him and wanted to be happy. She said she understood, but that I was loving him into an early grave. She was nice about it, don't get me wrong, but she was also very candid and that's what I needed to get the message. So I stopped the bread and limited the pizza crust and pasta to RARE (by that I mean maybe once or twice a month, before that it was usually 3-4 a week). He adjusted fine. I just subbed the 'naughty' human food with more fresh fruit instead. He adjusted fine. I also used to give him too many power treats. I switched to the 'coarse' pellets and I mix the two. For every one powertreat I give him, he gets 3 regular coarse. Its worked. He is far more amendable and adjustable than I gave him credit for.

I made PLENTY of mistakes when I was younger with regard to my fids. None of them were malicious, they were just made out of ignorance or not seeing the danger for the danger it was. To me, the way I see it is life isn't easy, neither is loss. Sometimes we will do things, intentionally or not that will hurt others. It's part of life and part of the growing process. I find myself more invested in learning the lesson the first time rather than beating myself up over something avoidable. We have ALL made bad choices that were avoidable. But I believe they are also an opportunity to become an even better parront moving forward.

Of course that doesn't change the loss nor the pain. Sadly, the former is what we have to live with, the latter is only eased by time.
 
Last edited:

Sandy19

Member
Mar 22, 2017
449
8
I let my rabbits out in my fenced backyard everyday so they're not stuck in a cage and I forgot to close the gate one day and the male rabbit wandered into the front yard. The neighbor's Jack Russel mix dog picked my rabbit up and killed him in front of my seven year old daughter. The rabbit took its last breath in my arms. Not that this makes anything better for you, but I've shared the same heart wrenching feelings.
 

Most Reactions

Latest posts

Top