Scared of strangers !

Hi ! im Hannah and i am 11 years old .i have a green cheeked conure , Rio . Rio is currently 8 months and has been with me for 5 months . he is friendly to all my family members and never bites or nips any of us . he is amazing with his progress in training too. when he was younger , age 4-6 months , he always was friendly to strangers and when they held out their hand to hold him , he would enthusiastically jump onto their hand , but recently he has been suddenly really reluctant and cautious of strangers and he is not going to anyone he doesnt know . he has not had any bad experiences with strangers , as i never give him to anyone i dont know. whenever they hold out their hand to hold him , he flies away . i dont know whats happened to him . can anybody advise me how to deal with this situation ?

Hannah

Hey Hannah!

First of all, I want to give you a big thank you for trying to solve the puzzle on Rio's behalf. It shows that you're a great owner since you are going to great lengths to understand your bird!

I have a few theories. First, you always want to make sure there's no underlying illness with the bird. In this case I doubt there is, but its always a good first step.
1. You've made too many withdrawals in your bird's bank account. Think about it this way: if you have a piggy bank, and you're constantly taking money out without putting any in, you're going to run out. Its the same with birds. If you constantly make your bird do something they don't want to do, but they do it anyway because they are nice birds (or babies), eventually that patience is going to run dry.
2. He may have had a bad experience. I know you said this wasn't the case, but could it have happened when you weren't home? Maybe you handed him to someone and to you the interaction was pleasant, but it wasn't for Rio. Always watch your bird's body language and see if they are enjoying the interaction as much as the human is.
3. As Rio has gotten older, he has enjoyed the freedom of his wings. I see this with clipped birds all the time: some birds are much more likely to step up when they know its their only reliable mode of transport. Maybe Rio is now realizing that he doesn't have to go on that person's hand, because he can simply fly away!

Truthfully, its probably a mix of these (they all sort of go together). I think your best plan of attack would be to always be present when Rio is held by someone new, and use it as an opportunity to teach others about parrot body language when he shows he is excited (or not so excited!) to be with them. The most important piece is to practice recall training, that is, training Rio to fly to you on command. A fully feathered bird is a more confident bird, but you can let them keep that confidence and still be able to manage it if you train them to fly to you when called!

Hope this was helpful! I am so excited for you and your journey with your new feathered friend!

Edit: oh, and to add one more thing. Make sure to give the person who is trying to interact with Rio a "high value" treat (one that his favorite but he doesn't get it often!)

MY Sun Conure, Sunny, has just turned 2 years old. I got her at 6-months old. For the first 6 months or so that I had her, she was quite willing to go to strangers, or interact with visitors. However after that, her willingness to Go to strangers, or even people she had previously interacted with occasionally, quickly diminished. At that point, if friends came to visit my house, even some for whom she has definitely expressed friendliness in the past, she would go to the furthest corner of her cage & just sit there, her body language saying, "I am very boring do not look at me oh so boring..."
I would think she was tired or sleepy, but the moment the person left she would perk up and demand to come out & play.

(NOWadays - she has a carrier for outings. She does actually still like to interact with people, but only through the safety of her her carrier-window, or interacting with folks on the porch, from inside her cage and through the window. She is a great model for social-distancing!)

So this is to say, I think it is normal that a young conure is more open to strangers for a while and then backs off. I believe that, only because that is the pattern I have seen with my Sunny.

((Also with mine, the first backing-off corresponded with change in weather and thus change in clothing. She seems to dislike outerwear and hats on anyone. Perhaps because when I put on a coat, I am likely to leave, and probably withOut her?))

I agree with my above members. Baby birds will often let anyone hold them and touch them. Its a baby thing.
When parrots mature, they have more boundaries, and a sese of self, and of flock. Its also programed into them to look for a pair bond at this time...

And as mentioned ebove it could be a combo issues, part not be a baby anymore , and maybe a fear of hands, new people ( or those not around daily) . He now old enough to know who his flock is ( those sith him daily) and that ever else is not part of his flock...

Since you have socialized him so well. I think he can still step up for people and take a treat, but wont want them petting him, and won't want to just hang out with them.

My GCC will step up for people when I ask her to, and take treats from them. But I'm the only one who can snuggle her and touch her.

I think this is normal for many bird when they reach sexual maturity (go through puberty/ finish puberty). I know you are eleven, but this is just biology, so I don't feel bad saying it lol. Babies go to everyone (much like human babies), but as they go through puberty and become adults, they become less trusting of random people. Sure, they still will occasionally really click with a specific (random) person, but it's not like they are going to keep hopping on every hand upon only having just met them (they get older and things do change a bit).

Imagine how you were as a baby, vs how you are now, vs how you may be at 15. It's kind of similar, honestly...He may also be a bit more feisty than normal, but birds often do that during puberty and while he will never be his baby self again, he likely won't remain as intense as he is when hormones kick in initially. Make sure he doesn't have shadowy places (huts, tents, drawers, boxes) and don't stroke him on the back etc (that's like making out for them when they are adults, as yours now is). Head and neck only..no shadowy spaces...introduce people without expecting him to step up (follow his lead and even then, be aware that adult birds can sometimes be a bit unpredictable..so make sure if you trust someone to hold him, that they are someone who could handle a bite without reacting much)

thank you so much everyone !
this really helps !
rio has clipped wings and it is starting to grow. i have already flight trained him and he comes to me when i command him . he has no illness ( we have checked with a vet )
rio likes ALMONDS . he goes crazy when he sees them. i usually train him with sunflower seeds . also , i tried putting the seed in a strangers hand , all he did was take the treat and fly away . since his wings are clipped , he can only fly from the upstairs to the downstairs, but if he has no place to land , he panics . i agree with noodles 123 as he is going through maturity and becoming less trusting of people . i never pet him on the back as i watched a video on that its not good for birds going through puberty etc. and i will make sure he doesnt have any boxes or shadowy places in his cage or even outside the cage. thank you so much everyone !

Also , can somebody advice me on what to do and what not to do while he is going through his maturity process? like how to deal with him ?
thanks for all your support !

If he starts screaming for attention, do not attend to it. Ignore it until it stops---don't even look at him and don't come into the room while screaming is happening.
When he stops, start counting (1 mississippi...2 mississippi..3 etc) ---if screaming is a real issue you may have to count to 5 or 10...but the goal is, not to re-enter until a solid, non-interrupted span of time has passed. Decide your interval (5 or 10 seconds--pick one) and count to that whenever there is attention screaming. If you get to 4 Mississippi seconds of silence and it starts up again, you have to start over. Once he makes it to the end of the count, rush in and give him the attention ("good job, thanks for getting quiet"). Everyone has to be on-board with this for it to work though...

Make sure he has lots of things to chew on but be a little cautious with the shredding toys as they can be hormonal triggers for SOME birds (they aren't bad--- you just don't want to keep an eye out).

MAKE SURE he gets a bare minimum of 10-12 hours sleep nightly (real sleep in a fairly quiet space). This is so so important for behavior and immune health. Get him on a sleep schedule, like you would a young child.

I debated about whether or not to mention this because this part is kind of complicated, and again, I know you are 11, but you seem smart and I think a motivated 11-year-old is capable of a lot. So here we go...you can take it or leave it, but if you learn to think this way, you can basically solve a lot of your bird's behavior issues as they come up. There is a branch of educational psychology that uses something called ABA (applied behavior analysis). It is the basis for many education programs for animals and children...but it really applies to all of us (humans and most animals). The idea is that everything we do, we do to get one of the following:

1. attention/social rewards (be it eye contact, physical closeness, talking, approval, acceptance, popularity) etc
2. escape (to get out of a situation or avoid something we don't like or fear--this could be chores, a location, unwanted contact, conflict--exp driving the speed limit to avoid a ticket etc)
3. tangible (to get material items- toys, food, clothes, money etc)
4. sensory (e.g., itching when you have a mosquito bite, eating when hungry, take a pill when your head hurts etc.)

These 4 things are the "functions" (or motivations/ reasons) behind all behavior. You can manipulate any behavior when you know the reason for it because people and animals will get their needs met in lots of ways (some positive, some negative). They will do whatever works to get them what they want.

The idea is that these 4 categories are the BASIS for all behavior (and some behaviors can fall into more than 1 category--but you want to determine the MAIN motivation) . When your bird does something you don't like, your reaction can either strengthen that bad behavior, or weaken it. If your reaction FEEDS the behavior (because it matches the bird's motivation for doing the behavior) that is called reinforcement. You can reinforce anything (good or bad). Reinforcement happens when the reaction to a behavior matches the function (4 things above) that motivated that behavior and increases the behavior long-term. If a behavior is happening over and over, SOMETHING IS REINFORCING IT. You have to figure out what.

So, lets say a kid has a fit at the store because the kid wants a candy bar. Mom says no...screaming starts. mom says no...screaming continues...finally mom gives in and buys that candy bar...The next time they go to the store, the screaming starts again. The screaming in this instance is sort of a combination of attention and tangibles, but the tangible (candy bar) was the motivation. Another scenario--- 2 kids are playing, kid A wants the truck but kid B won't give him the truck. Kid a hits kid b, kid b cries, drops truck and runs to tell the teacher...This would be an example of tangibles if it kept happening based on kid A wanting to get things (I hit kid b, he drops the thing I want, I get my reward by hitting).

On the other hand, if a kid is in the cart and mom is on the phone....kid says "mom look at that", mom grunts and keeps texting..Kid pulls on sleeve, "mom look", mom says: not now. Kid pinches sister and mom drops her phone to yell at him. If this keeps happening when he isn't getting attention/when mom is distracted/busy etc...
Then this example is an attention motivated behavior. By reacting, mom is REINFORCING the pinching because she is giving the kid the attention he was trying to get (even if SHE THINKS she is punishing him by scolding, she is actually rewarding because she is paying attention). So, by attending to him for this bad behavior, she is actually rewarding it. The better thing to do would be to give attention for POSITIVE behavior, instead of waiting for that desperate, negative behavior to occur...and then by finding a way to deal with the problem without giving the pincher any attention for that bad behavior..but giving pincher lots of attention for good behavior.
Similarly, if your bird is screaming for attention and you run in and say "shut up" or yell "quiet" from the other room, you are rewarding that behavior because, when rooted in attention, any response that involves a reaction IS attention.

If a kid is at the store in the cart and pinches his finger in the handles, that sort of crying would be considered sensory.

If a kid goes to the store with mom and randomly starts screaming, so mom rushes him out of the store from embarrassment and makes him wait in the car. If the behavior continues whenever they enter the store, that is an example of escape (e.g., trying to get out of a situation- kid doesn't want to be there and discovers that, by screaming, he gets to leave).

The GOAL of all of this is to figure out appropriate ways that we can reward behaviors that allow people and animals to get their 4 needs met...

You can try looking up ABC charting, because basically, before you know how to react to a behavior, you need to know the root/motivation behind it...That way, when you do react, you aren't accidentally rewarding the behavior.

In ABC charting you are looking for patterns in a behavior and the response to it. You are writing down what happens directly before a behavior (called the Antecedent), what the behavior is (behavior), and then what happens directly afterwards (consequence---don't think punishment---it is literally whatever happens right after). You keep a record/chart and after you have quite a few of the behaviors recorded, ,you try to decide what category each behavior falls under, based on the behavior and reaction ("consequence") column. Is the behavior continuing? If so, in what category do most of the reactions (consequences) fall? Was attention, escape, a tangible of sensory the root of it...based on what happened right after the behavior.

Once you know the function (which of the 4 your bird is after), you can find ways to reward/match that function for APPROPRIATE behavior so that he no longer needs to do the inappropriate behavior to meet his needs. If he does do an inappropriate behavior, knowing his motivation can also help to make sure you do not reward it based on your reaction. If you know WHY he is doing something, then at least you know what not to do when it happens....but the goal would be to find replacement behaviors that get him the reward he wants...So if he screams for attention---ignore that..but if he is quiet OR makes a sound that you prefer, rush in and immediately give him that attention.

This whole process takes time and consistency. ALSO-- the first few times you ignore a behavior that was being reinforced previously, the behavior WILL get worse before it gets better--- so don't just give in because you feel like it isn't working...that will make the behavior so much worse in the long run because you will have taught your bird that you SOMETIMES give in, like a slot machine...and people keep gambling because there is always that hope that if they keep going, they will eventually get a pay-off. Don't be that slot machine with your bird.

Hannah_rio said:

Also , can somebody advice me on what to do and what not to do while he is going through his maturity process? like how to deal with him ?
thanks for all your support !

Click to expand...

If you want to change this behavior, clicker training is still a great option. At first click and reward for him stepping up for a stranger, then click and reward for him staying with them longer and longer. Eventually, he will enjoy staying there because it means he will get a treat!

thanks kitkat , i have already clicker trained him , i have a clicker.also , noodles 123 , i will make sure he doesnt have any shredding toys in his cage. yes , he has a problem with the screaming . i always try not to go to him when he screams but my mom always feels sorry for him and always goes to check if he is fine . i will show her what you have written and maybe then she will listen. he only screams for about 5 minutes and then he completely stops and becomes quiet. then i go to him and i play with him and cuddle him etc. thanks for your advice !!!

Some screaming is normal-- they DO flock call (you can sometimes prevent it by talking to them room-to-room when you are out of sight-- before the screaming starts)....but you never want to attend to it once it does start (unless it is a legit pain or fear scream, which sounds different from the attention-seeking screams). As he matures, he will get more vocal in all likelihood, and you don't want to reward screaming for attention by showing up when he does it, or you will increase this behavior.

thanks for the advice noodles ! really appreciate it !