Won't step up

I previously posted about Winston who we adopted now 10 days ago. He seems happy but won't step up for me or my wife, but will readily step up for a stranger. He will then come to me and be very affectionate. We are very worried about this behavior and fear he will start self mutilating (he plucked 3 feathers this morning), like he did with a previous owner.

Are we being impatient and need to give him more time?

10 days isn't enough time for this parrot to get to know you & your wife. I think you maybe moving a little to fast for him. Just chill out give him space & i am sure he will come to you when he's ready.

Can you explain what he does when you want him to step up?.

Most times an eclectus has to think about whether or not they want to do something we ask of them. I usually ask, wait then ask again & if they won't step up i will walk away & come back later. Even sometimes when i offer a treat they will look at it like i am trying to give them poison.LOL.

Pedro said:

10 days isn't enough time for this parrot to get to know you & your wife. I think you maybe moving a little to fast for him. Just chill out give him space & i am sure he will come to you when he's ready.

Can you explain what he does when you want him to step up?.

Most times an eclectus has to think about whether or not they want to do something we ask of them. I usually ask, wait then ask again & if they won't step up i will walk away & come back later. Even sometimes when i offer a treat they will look at it like i am trying to give them poison.LOL.

Click to expand...

So true, so true.

So, so sorry this is long:

Okay first 10 days is not enough time. Don't even expect your bird to do anything other than just sit there and observe you for the first month or so. It takes time for parrots to acclimate when they change homes. Some come right to you, others are more sensitive and take longer. I give a minimum of a month before expecting anything from the bird and I give it a full year for them to acclimate to see if its going to work out or not. These guys take time, don't rush things. Allow your new bird to come to you. Keep in mind that you will more than likely own this bird for the rest of your life, so you have nothing but time for the bird to step up. Approach it this way and your bird will build a strong bond with you. Birds are not like dogs, you can't just tell them what to do and expect results. Birds are very intelligent, you have to respect your bird and respect it's space and it's wishes. If the bird doesn't want to be bothered then don't bother it. This will send the signal to the bird that you will allow it to have a say in what is being done to it (Also your bird is very unstable and nervous right now, by backing off you are showing the bird that you are not the cause of its stress - you don't want your bird to associate you with the reason why its scared). This is a major life change for the bird. Birds will show passive physical signs that they are not comfortable with you, if you keep persisting then you will end up getting bit. If you ask the bird to step up and the bird shys, then back off and respect the birds wishes. You have to build a relationship with the bird first, it takes time (think months not days). It has to get to know you. It has no idea who you are or what you intentions are. You know what they are but your bird doesn't know you from Adam yet. Patience will pay off. If you allow your bird to come to you on its terms, you will be suprised at how fast your relationship will develop, if your putting pressure on the bird to develop a relationship it will take longer and it will be a more stressful process.

Second, lets touch on the plucking issue. I have copied most of what is below from an old response to save typing time (plus repeating the same thing over and over):

His plucking is something that was a formed habit prior to you getting him. It is an emotional problem. This is how he has learned to deal with his feelings. Its not YOUR fault when he decides to pluck at your house, this is not a problem that stems from your environment. You took on a known plucker. Even when you provide the best environment possible, he still may pluck (and will more than likely continue to do so for the rest of his life). When I first got Romeo (who was a known shredder prior to me getting her) I thought that as long as I provided the best environment it would stop immediately. This is a common but FALSE way of thinking. She went 5 weeks without touching her feathers, then one day I came home and she had completely shredded her chest. I cant even begin to tell you what kind of perfect environment she is in (shes beyond spoiled - I am her servant :52. I was devastated and thought I did something wrong. When in actuality there is NOTHING you can really do to fix the problem. He was probably leaving his feathers alone for the first week because he was in a new home with very new distractions - He has now settled in a bit and has decided to be himself. Over time, as long as you keep providing the most stable best environment possible, his plucking will curb some but NEVER truly go away. Look at it like an ADDICTION, he did not get to this state overnight - it cannot be cured overnight either. This is a life long problem, just when you think he is done - he will relapse. You are living with an addict (in a bird form) don't take what he does personal, just love him and help him through it. One of my vet's first words to me were 'you will never fix this, either be prepared to live with this problem for the rest of the birds life or walk away now' - my love for this bird and my connection with her, I could never leave her just because shes not perfect. You will eventually get to a point where he may go weeks without incident, then a few months, then a few years, then out of no where when he looks absolutely perfect he does it again. Ignore the problem and act like its not there, don't give any attention when he does it. If you show that you get upset by the plucking it will make him do it more. If you come home and hes plucked himself bald don't treat him any different than normal - act as if you don't even notice it. Enjoy him for him and forget the feathers. This is an emotionally unstable bird and its going to take TIME, LOTS OF IT. Go in with the mindset that hes yours for the rest of his life and if he wants to be naked then so be it. Provide the perfect environment, accept his condition, and you will be surprised at the results. Its a very long hard road but remember that this is what you signed up for. To think that you will be able to stop the plucking is unrealistic, so forget that thought.