Newbie to Forum - lost my Female today

[steveandbarb1]

Hi, I am new to these forums, but a long term Eclectus family. We had male (Buddy) and female (Ruby) until tears came today, we lost our 18 year old Ruby from cervical cancer. They have been together for over 17 years, tried baby making many times with all duds. We are in a state of tears of course, just patting my baby for the last time before they took her from my arms. They advised not staying for the euthenasia as it isn't pretty on parrots.

Our male has been alone (first time) for 2 days now, he is generally acting ok, but clearly seems disturbed, wants more attention.

Question I have is, is it better to enjoy him as a lone bird, or should I look for another (perhaps adult) bird for compananion?

 

[Flboy]

Welcome to you, I am so sorry that you are joining under such harsh circumstances! This has to be so hard for you and Buddy!

 

[Owlet]

I'd say lone bird. If he's coming to you for more attention then he obviously has a bond with you and it might be hard to pair him with another ekkie

I'm so sorry this happened, it's always hard losing a companion.

A rescue near me just adopted out an ekkie named Buddy recently and this reminded me of him, I hope he's doing well and I hope your Buddy is okay too.

 

[steveandbarb1]

He just screamed as we took out nest box, this is so hard!

 

[Owlet]

I advise leaving the nest box for now. If I remember correctly parrots need time to mourn just like humans.

 

[GaleriaGila]

Welcome, albeit under such sad circumstaces.
You came to the right place.
We are truly a community.
We understand.
We're with you all. Including Buddy.

 

[Flboy]

I must add, please give Buddy time to mourn! You could all use the time to heal !

 

[davefv92c]

i myself would set sleeping spot close to cage.
no cover and a little low light so if he wakes in the night
looking for her, he will see you and maybe not freak.
just so sad,sorry bout your loss.

 

[steveandbarb1]

Miss her so much already

 

[Kentuckienne]

Oh, it's so hard to go through this. I'm sorry for the both of you.

 

[AmyMyBlueFront]

Oh God my heart breaks for you and Buddy.

I lost my Grey 2 years ago after almost 28 years,and even though Amy and Smokey weren't "mates",Amy was mourning Smokey's loss as much as I.
We spent a lot more time together,she actually came to ME looking for comfort.
Be there for,and with Buddy..it'll take time to heal.

Again,so so sorry..


Jim

 

[wrench13]

So sorry for the loss of Ruby, after that many years together it is painfull to loose your girl.

 

[Scott]

My deepest condolences for your loss of Ruby. She was beautiful and will remain vibrant in your memories.

I too would recommend leaving the nest box for now. Buddy will be mourning for a while, and any major disturbance in his cage will be stressful.

Whether you ought to get Buddy another companion is a difficult decision. It may hinge on whether you seek a closer relationship with him and his level of interest.

 

[BeatriceC]

I'm so sorry for your loss. As others have said, please give Buddy time to mourn. We lost our elderly cockatiel, Cookie back in September, and all the birds required time to process his absence. Even Charlotte, who had only been around a couple months mourned to an extent. It's hard on everybody. Give Buddy as much compassion as you would a child suffering the loss of an important person in their lives. You'll both be better off for it.

 

[steveandbarb1]

thank you. Assume he will be more social than he usual is. He is kind of a unique Eckie, loves new people - totally passive. Only time he ever bit was doing things around cage when Ruby was in heat or on eggs. Now anytime I walk to him he puts his foot up for attention. My concern is boredom - he isn't a chewer. What challenges him is to find foot on the kitchen counter - known to turn large delicious nut breads into a pile of stuffing within a hour. His feathers are perfect, except for black tips 6 mos after molting. Think I need to improve is already decent diet. I have had pluckers in the past, he has never show tendency and want to do whatever is needed to keep him happy.

 

[katie_fleming]

My heart just sank I am so sorry for your loss. Can't imagine. I also read that parrots mourn quite heavily Sending a hug for you and Buddy.

 

[steveandbarb1]

Reading now, I am feeling real guilty of not:
1. removing nest box she loved
2. strict sunlight/sleep patterns
3. done the hormone in injections
4. etc

Did I help her on this path?

Buddy, her mate, is handling quite well. He was bonded to both us and her, he has now doubled up. In the past, walk by and he would just look and "try" to be stubborn, now simply look at him and he has his foot up to be held. I was on a work call this morning, and basically had him on my finger for the hour. He's funny, if he doesn't want to get off (try to put him somewhere) he bends and stays put. Lost one of our dogs 3 weeks ago, so this just added to tragegies (and other family losses), but for some reason she is in my head. I held her in a towel patting her to sleep, then gave her to the vet to end things. this image isn't going away :-(

 

[Anansi]

Just seeing this tread, now. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Ruby was beautiful, as is Buddy. And they both sound like amazing companion animals.

As for your original question, I would definitely give it a little time before adding to your flock once again. And always keep in mind that bird personalities can mix... or clash... just as unpredictably as their human counterparts. So you have to prepare yourself for a worst case scenario in which you have to give your birds separate out times.

That said, I received Jolly from one of our wonderful members here, Laura (Labell), a few months after the devastating loss of my sweet male ekkie, Bixby. (Turned out he'd been born with PDD) I'll always miss Sir Bixby, but Jolly has now become an integral part of my family. Maya (our female ekkie) has accepted him as part of her flock, though she is obviously not enamored of him as she had been of Bixby. But they do get along.

Guess what I'm saying is to take some time and allow yourself, and Buddy, to grieve. Then consider what you want to do with a clear head.

As for the last set of questions, are you asking if the hormone injections might have caused the cervical cancer? If so, I'm not sure. I honestly never even thought of that as a possibility. And I'm sure you never considered it, either. Please don't beat yourself up over the possibility. Not only because it might not be the case, but also because all that you did for her you did out of love. So much is obvious in every word you've written about her thus far. Just focus on the fact that you loved her with all that you had in the time she was here. There are birds who live a full lifetime without ever experiencing that. Hold dear memories of her life with you over those of her death. That's undoubtedly what she would've wanted.

 

[steveandbarb1]

thank you. I have received multiple cards, from the university hospital that took care of her and her own vet. I had Buddy's nails/beak trimmed this eve, I have taken for granted what special character he is. The tech's come out and mention his name and he chat right back to them. The vet suggested actually when we are ready, to look at Indian Ringnecks from a personality perspective, interesting..