Help I think my Eclectus hates me!

Hi, i Have recently got myself a beautiful male eclectus Parrot around 3 months ago. He was 5 month old i got got him when, he was very quite and seemed to be happy to be held when i first met him. before picking him up i went and bought a probably an over the top cage for him and any toys that i could get that would suit ( he has destroyed most of them)... when taking him home i gave him a few days to settle in to his new surrounds, after a week i started to slowly put my hand in the cage and try and feed him some treats. he was very frightened and would try to mouth me (not an actual bite) and it has only got worse. i speak with him a lot and leave the cage open at the top sometimes to encourage him to come out but rarely does. he is now at the stage if i go near the cage his feathers stand up and if i put my hand in the cage he will jump off his perch and slam to the bottom of the cage. i don't want to continue as he may hurt him self and will become more scared of me!
what am i best to do?

Hi welcome. We have tips on bonding thread here. I'm not thinking of good ideas right now. But we have so many great people, so some one will have ideas.
But a warm welcome to you!

thank you, i am new to this site so still trying to work my way around!... i deep a bird whisperer!

You appear to be rushing things. Start back at square one and build trust. 3 months isn't much time and if you have been pushing things then your bird will be slower to trust in many cases (by rushing it, you will make it worse if you move faster than your bird is willing). You can still rebuild this, but it may take another couple of months. Allow him to go in and out of cage when you are around on his own (if this can be done safely). Try doing quiet things near the cage...don't make interaction too intense..don't try to force contact--start by doing your own thing around the bird while basically ignoring it (unless the bird initiates interaction). after doing that for a period of time, find some favorite treats and try to see if your bird will take them through the bars--if not, just let him see you placing them in the cup and see if he won't take from your hand over time. After awhile (days, not hours) see if you can pet your bird's head without getting bad body language (jerking head, lunging, running away etc)...then once you can do that, continue for a bit longer before starting to do step-ups etc. My re-homed U2 didn't step up for 3 months (except on day 1 when I took her out of her travel carrier). I think that when birds are in a new place, fear can cause them to go to a human that they don't trust, as that is safer than their unfamiliar surroundings. That could explain the early interactions that you had, along with the fact that baby birds are SUPER nice/"chill" compared to adolescent birds. Expect that your bird will change (especially at sexual maturity you can expect a rough patch).

Updating my Penny thread made me remember the changes. When I brought her home she was sweet. Then she became territorial, agressive, and screaming, now sweet to stay I think, never screams or bites. But still scared of any cage changes. All that in five months. So you will get there too. Have faith.

You can sit sideways next to the open cage. Not starring at him. Put a treat dish right at the edge of the cage. Then work at something interesting, like crinkly paper, and see if he will come investigate? Let him see you put a seed treat in the dish. If he comes and takes it, wait then put in another treat. Keep adding treats and letting him take. The goal would be for him to stay st the dish when you put in the next treat. Or come over to watch what you are doing....

When he stops runny away , and is Willing to hang out near you. You could try having him step up to a hand perch instead of your hand...at first you just let him step to the hand perch then back to his cage. If he getts confident at that. Then you can use the hand perch to move him slowly for a walk around the room the back to the cage. Just some ideas.. I want things better for you. Read the sticky in blue at the top of each species threads, the Amazon thread has some really good ones by Sailboat..

Overall I second Noodles and Laurasea, the only caveat would be that many ekkies are not touchy birds, so going for touching as a gauge or next step might not work for an ekkie.

LOL I loooove the "over the top cage"; in my humble opninion no cage is ever big enough but I am your fan because of this.

Do remember to keep replacing those toys!!
A bird with a (destruction)job is a happy bird.

Not all interaction is / must be hands on
Just whistling or mumbling to each other is also great.

Birds are feeling cuddlier at some times of the day.
(Appie-the-grey is definitely an "hello and goodbye"-bird -> wanting scritches early in the morning and late at night, Sunny the macaw is grumpy in the mornings but a cuddle bug in the late afternoon.. Japie is just an all out sexmaniac atm, so he only gets scritches when he stops being 'pushy')
So find out what your guys moments are?

Great advice above. Remember that his caution actually makes a lot of sense, considering that you are so much bigger than he and you have the forward facing eyes of a predator. It's actually a wonder that any birds come to trust us at all. Lol!

Just take your time and work on building trust as outlined in the other posts. There's no rush. Another thing you can try after he grows a little more accustomed to your presence outside of his cage is target training through the bars of his cage. If you get him used to the idea of target training (and its associated rewards) this way, you can eventually use the method to target him out of the cage. Or even onto your hand. Here is a video of target training in case you are unfamiliar:
[ame="https://youtu.be/HaOicTtwIZo"]Beginners guide to target training parrots - YouTube[/ame]

But baby steps. First thing is building trust to the point that he isn't visibly frightened by your approach. Bribery, bribery and more bribery.

Oh, something to consider. Unlike most parrots, ekkies generally do not like being petted "against the grain" of their feathers. Eclectus parrots have a different feather structure than other birds, so petting against the natural direction of their feathering can be uncomfortable for them. Just something to keep in mind once he does trust you enough for that kind of contact.